“Tiring,” he said softly. “At first it was just endless talking. I tried to explain that I don’t work for the government … that I’m not in the private sector and I’m not interested in their consortium but they didn’t take no for an answer.”
“They wouldn’t.” He couldn’t know how true that was. Immortals weren’t used to being gainsaid, which was how I’d pissed the Harbinger off.
“I wouldn’t eat anything they gave me because I was afraid I’d start hallucinating again. For a while I was alone in a room, nothing but a chair and white walls. Then they took me to an incredibly well-equipped lab, I guess to show me how much money was on offer. And I tried to explain that my work is still largely theoretical—that I’m decades away from a prototype or a trial. But none of them paid any attention. From there, it got … rougher.”
That would be the brainwashing that they mentioned at the hospital. “Ice water, bright lights, message on repeat, no sleep?”
Averting his eyes, he nodded as the news shifted to a sitcom. “If you don’t mind, I’d rather not talk about it anymore.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. It’s natural that you’re trying to make sense of it all. I’ve been doing exactly the same thing.”
“Making progress?”
Eyes closing, he nodded. “If you want to turn on a movie, something funny maybe, I’d like that a lot.”
“Okay.” I found an old comedy on Netflix and sat with him while he slept.
At half past nine, I persuaded him to go to bed and I made sure he actually turned off the lights. Before he was taken, I’d had the unsettling thought that I was becoming the parent and now having him back only underscored that reality. I never thought I would but I missed the days when he lectured me about weird stuff and took up hours of my time with strange, random fascinations I didn’t share. My dad used to lean more than a little toward the Asperger’s side of social interaction, but now he was just a shadow.
Around ten, Kian texted me. Everything okay?
Yeah, I sent back. You?
Like I’d suspected, I hadn’t seen him much in the last few days. I didn’t like leaving my dad alone. He still wasn’t himself or he’d be asking why the heck I wasn’t in school. For some reason he hadn’t connected the fact that it was early February, yet I wandered around our beige apartment free as a bird. Doing my homework felt like a waste of time when I might buy it any day now, thanks to my potential feud with Death.
God, my life is weird.
Missing you, he replied.
It hasn’t been that long.
Eventually I caved and did some homework then e-mailed it to my teachers, and I was happy to hear from Vi as I hit send on the last assignment. It seemed like a long time since I’d talked to her back when things were at their worst; I did my best to dodge and talk to her only enough to keep her from hopping on a plane for an emergency intervention. I put her on video and saw she’d gotten some cute pink tips, all very ragged-punk, and it suited her. She was also wearing lipstick, something I’d never seen on Vi before.
“You Skyped with Seth first,” I said, smirking.
She blushed. “Duh. I’m glad you finally answered. What’s been going on?”
Shit. She didn’t know anything about my dad’s disappearance. So I downplayed it as much as I could and stressed the fact that my dad was home and safe. I also left out my own role in bringing him back. At this point, I suspected I knew how it felt to be Batman, always weighing what I could share, how much, and with whom.
This sucks. I should totally have gotten a cape and a utility belt.
“Oh my God,” Vi said when I finished. Her eyes were huge. “Do you think the people who kidnapped your dad had something to do with…” She trailed off, unable to complete the thought or even say “your mom” in that context.
I didn’t blame her. Skirting Mom’s death had become a habit for me. Since I’d wept at her grave, I didn’t like thinking about her, especially now that I had the wakizashi. Part of me wanted nothing more than to forget everything and hunt down the bag man along with those creepy kids. It would be different now that I had a spirit familiar and Aegis. Unlike last time when they’d lured me out, taunting me, I wouldn’t need the Harbinger to intervene.
You’re powerful, Cameron whispered. His voice in my head felt like a vein of black ice, chilling me to the core. But he also made all the pain stop. No more conflict. No more doubt. Just a dark, delicious promise. You wanted revenge on us … and you got it. Just imagine what you could do now.
“Edie?” Vi seemed to have been repeating my name for a while. “Are you okay?”
“With everything going on, I’m pretty tired. What were we talking about?”
“I just asked—or didn’t actually—but I wondered…”
“If the same people who killed my mom also took my dad?” There, I said it, my tone sharp and glacial.
“Yeah.” She couldn’t meet my gaze, playing with some pens lined up on her desk.
“Probably. It seems to be connected to their work.”
“Are you safe?” she asked.
God, she was a good friend. No matter how much I avoided or ignored her, she didn’t stop caring. The cold kernel burning like dry ice at the heart of me thawed a little. I stopped thinking about the bag man.
“I think so.”
“Listen, I’m not telling my parents any of this, and I’m not taking no for an answer from you. In a month, I get time off for spring break, and I am definitely coming to see you.”
“Okay,” I said.
“When’s your break?”
“Always. I’m finishing school on independent study. With all of the crises lately, I can’t make myself sit in a classroom when I’m worried about my dad.”
“I get that.” Vi’s tone was gentle. “But it means we can hang out the whole time I’m there. Seth said he’ll try to come for the weekend, at least.”
“Wow, really? So it’ll be like a reunion.”
“Minus Ryu.”
“Heh, well. We can’t expect him to come from Japan. Have you talked to him lately?”
She shook her head. “Not since Christmas. He was in the States for a while visiting his grandparents, but he was too busy to Skype.”
“That doesn’t surprise me. He was the most popular guy in the SSP.”
“He’s kind of a flower boy,” she agreed.
It was time to change the subject; Ryu felt like he belonged to another lifetime, back when everything was simple. “E-mail me when you know when you’re arriving. I’ll pick you up at the airport.”
“You have a car now?”
“My boyfriend does.”
“Kian, right? I saw you kissing on campus. He went all the way to California for you, and you guys weren’t even dating … he must’ve been so into you.”
Weirdly, she wasn’t entirely wrong. Back then I didn’t realize how long he’d been watching or how much I meant to him. I had no idea he’d quietly given me the best day of my life. With a half smile I twisted the blue beads on my wrist.
“Maybe,” I said. “But we couldn’t get together. Things were complicated.”
“Yeah, starting a new relationship when someone’s going away for the summer doesn’t make sense. It was smarter to stay single until you got back.”
“Exactly.” Though not for the usual reasons.
We talked a little longer, mostly about the robotics project she was working on, and then her brother, Kenny, came banging on her door demanding that she do the dishes like their mom had asked four times already. Vi sighed and said, “Sorry. Apparently I’m not allowed to have a social life or go to sleep if there’s a single dirty cup in the house.”
Kenny yelled, “The kitchen’s gross, Vi! I used the last clean glass this morning. We haven’t seen the sink in two days. It’s your turn.”
“Oh my God, will you shut up already? Tell her I’ll be right down.”
Their exchange made me smile; I’d always wa
nted an annoying younger sibling. “Talk to you later, ’kay?”
“Yep. I’ll check in with you soon. Be careful. It sounds scary there.”
“It is,” I admitted.
After hanging up, I remembered that she was an hour behind me, so it was only ten thirty there. Here, it was ticking away toward the witching hour, and I was so freaking tired just from hovering over my dad all day. Worry was weirdly exhausting. Quietly I washed my face and brushed my teeth, not lingering in front of the mirror. Since that terrifying day that my reflection confessed to wanting to kill me and/or steal my life, I was afraid to spend much time primping.
I turned off the lights and got in bed. The curtains were open, showing a thin gold sliver from the streetlight nearby. It angled across my floor and I stared at it, willing my brain to shut up about disaster scenarios. Sleep had nearly claimed me when the tap, tap, tap came at my window. Jolting up, I half expected to see the creepy black-eyed little girl in her bloody pinafore.
But no. Instead it was a large black bird, rapping against the glass with its beak.
Peck, peck, peck.
“It can’t be,” I said.
Peck, peck, peck, peck.
Muttering, I went over to the window and raised the sash, so icy wind washed over me. The screen was still between us, though the bird could probably tear through it. For a few seconds we just stared at one another. I hadn’t seen the Harbinger since he went nuts in Rochelle’s kitchen. The bird didn’t speak—and I started doubting my own certainty. To test my theory, I came a little closer. A normal crow would startle and fly away. This one waited.
Wondering if this was the dumbest idea ever, I slid back the screen. “Did you want to come in?”
Then in a dark flutter of smoke and feathers, he was perched with inhuman grace and balance on a ledge far too small to hold him. “Are you inviting me? Rituals and niceties matter, especially to someone like me.”
“I guess I am.”
“Yes or no, dearling.”
“Then … yes.” I stood back so he could leap lightly inside, and I closed everything after him to banish the chill.
Retreating to my bed seemed like the warm, safe option, so I scooted back under my covers. I also needed to get away from his aura, washing over me like a noxious sweetness. He was a gloriously red poison apple, tart juice to tingle my tongue even as the slice lodged in my throat. The Harbinger paced, his great coat flapping about his ankles with each stride.
“What have you done, you wicked thing?”
“You’re talking about Dwyer?”
“Indeed. You cut the sun from the sky. Aren’t you worried that glaciers will envelop the world again with no counter for our Wedderburn?”
My eyes widened. “Not until now. Is that possible?”
“Who knows? There’s always been a sun god for as long as there was a winter king. But you’ve changed the game board, you adorable idiot. I’m quite jealous, you know. Your ability to create chaos rivals my own.”
“Is that why you came? To warn me I might’ve caused the next ice age?”
Ignoring the question, he perched at the foot of my bed and wrapped his arms about his knees. “No. It’s simply an interesting diversion. Like you.”
“You don’t seem so mad anymore.” It was a cautious observation, one I wasn’t 100 percent sure of, since he might be hiding it and would soon make my room explode into wood chips.
“Crafty little cat. With Govannon’s gift, you have so much potential. Are you truly not afraid of me?”
I thought about that. “Not really. I’ve seen so many scary things that I have to draw the line somewhere. You’re mercurial but you’ve helped me. And you’ve never hurt me, though I was pretty pissed off when you let those Cthulhu assholes take my dad.”
“I am not your knight,” he said silkily. “Don’t mistake the compact with your beloved for something more. Under the right circumstances, I would, indeed, hurt you, dearling. Maybe … until you liked it.”
His tone struck me as off. Desperate even. It was strange that I’d come to know him well enough to realize it, but beneath that glossy menace, he was a ragged thing, raw and wounded. Wondering if I was crazy, I still whispered, “What’s wrong?”
“Why are you asking?”
“I don’t know. Why are you in my room at midnight?”
“Because you invited me.”
I saw we’d get nowhere this way, so I let it go. “Then what did you want to talk about? Let me guess, you have a warning or punishment for me.”
For the first time since his arrival, the Harbinger smiled. “No. Quite the opposite, in fact. I’m a gambler, you see, and I must have my curiosity sated.”
“About what?”
He leaned forward and let his hand hover over the golden wristlet wrapped about my forearm, but he didn’t touch. His gray eyes went dark as old pewter, with a glimmer like distant lightning in their depths. “There’s a way you can save him, dearling.”
I stilled. “Kian?”
“This is the only way.” The Harbinger took my hand and flattened it against his chest; it was like touching marble or alabaster, hard and unyielding, no life within. “End me, as you did the sun god. And your beloved will live.”
THE GIRL WHO HUNTED DEATH
Frozen, I whispered, “This is a trick. That’s what you do.”
“Do you think so?” The Harbinger tilted his head back, offering his neck. “If you’re so sure, put the blade to my throat. Take my head and let there be an end to all this. You hate me, yes? Consider what I did to Nicole … and Aaron too. Imagine the crimes against humanity you’ll prevent with one swing, and as an added bonus, your darling boy, well, he lives. Huzzah, no? Of course I’ll no longer be around to shield you from immortal wrath, but that hardly matters. You’ve no need of my protection any longer.”
“I can’t just execute you.” The words came out before I thought them through, but they were true. “It was different with Dwyer. He attacked me on multiple occasions.”
“But you hunted him to his stronghold with a blade to cull him from existence. You didn’t wait for him to strike again. That shows a certain martial predilection, dearling, and shouldn’t you save your boy at all costs?”
I remembered what Rochelle said—keeping a spirit familiar enchained forever being true evil. But I thought it also applied to doing whatever it took to achieve your desires, regardless of the cost. Yeah, I wanted to save Kian, but … I couldn’t just behead the Harbinger while he was sitting on my bed for no better reason than to get my boyfriend out of trouble. While he might be scary and destructive, he’d also helped me a lot, and I couldn’t get past the idea that he was in terrible pain beneath all the spectacle and buffoonery.
“You should go,” I said quietly. “I’m not doing this. I can’t.”
From a flicker in his shadowed gaze, I guessed that I’d surprised him. “Why not? I won’t fight. That would be ridiculous. Rather I submit and await judgment for my sins.”
“No way. You know I’m only seventeen, right? Plus … it’s not your fault. That doesn’t help the people you’ve hurt, but I know we did it to you.” As Buzzkill said, we wrote the stories. These creatures were humanity’s darkness, given strange and terrible form.
“How astonishing,” the Harbinger breathed.
“What?”
“You care for me. I’m no longer purely a monster in your eyes.”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“If that wasn’t true, you wouldn’t hesitate to strike,” he said gently. “You have ample reason, as my demise represents the only sure way to save your Kian.”
“But it would be wrong.”
“Only if I’m not a monster, Edie Kramer. Is killing a demon ever wrong?”
His words made sense, but I still couldn’t bring myself to press the side of my wrist and activate Aegis. The idea of executing the Harbinger made me feel sick inside. My hands curled into fists. He wore a silly, charming smile, and I didn’t trust
the playful side of him. As Rochelle had said, in many ways, he was like a cat. Instead of doing anything dangerous, he fell back onto the lower half of my bed, not something I ever thought I’d see. His aura dimmed to low buzz, an intentional downshift that let me observe his true features.
“You’re most unusual, you know. When I wore the false face that attracted everyone else, you found me creepy and unsettling. And when I show you everything, you offer kindness.”
“I’d always rather have the truth,” I said.
“Perhaps I’m meant to be your pet,” he mused, folding his arms beneath his head. “Will you care for me and keep me out of trouble?”
I hoped he was joking. “That sounds like a lot of work.”
“Sadly, yes. Right now I’m on my best behavior, but it won’t last. It can’t.” His voice dropped on the last two words, went soft and sorrowful.
“I know.”
I hesitated for a few seconds because I had no idea what my role was here, but with any other friend, I’d offer comfort. So I rested my hand gently on his head. His hair felt soft and cool beneath my palm, and he angled his face to stare at me. But he didn’t move, and I didn’t either, except to pet him as if he really were my cat. His eyes closed.
“You remind me of Sigyn.”
Since the name sounded familiar but I couldn’t recall who that was, I said, “I’m sorry if you wanted me to kill you. I can’t. Not without a reason. That would make me the monster.”
“Maybe I did, a little, because you can end the infinite. But I was more curious. Govannon gave you that blade for a reason. Now I begin to see why.”
“Huh?”
To my surprise, he remained quiescent beneath my stroking fingers. “Never mind. Just … do this a bit longer. And then, I’ll fly away. The next time we meet, Edie Kramer, I will most likely break your heart … and I find myself unexpectedly regretful about that.”
“There’s some time yet,” I said. “I haven’t given up on that loophole. Now that my dad’s safe, I’ll focus all my energy on finding it.”