His confident male command: "Look at me. That's right. Good girl. Come now," as he growled, tugging and pinching my nipple and my swollen clit hard at exactly the same time. The harsh look on his face, jaw clenched against his own urgent needs: The imperative primal hunger to mate. Fuck!
Carmen called out as she climaxed in a pulse of pleasure. Her pussy clamped down on emptiness. The orgasm was good. It rolled outward from the center of her pelvic area in convulsing waves, reaching the top of her head and the tip of her toes.
When her breathing and pulse steadied, Carmen considered calling Kurt after all. Why not?
But then she remembered her circumstances. How could she tell him about the life she had been living? He would see her scars. He would have to know – Carmen would never think of hiding anything like that from him. Not from someone she cared for.
Oh fuck, she thought. I had sex with the man one day only! So why the hell do I feel so overwhelmed by him? I swear to God I feel as if I'm in love.
She recalled her time as a slave once more and cringed.
There were just some things one couldn't talk about for so many reasons: The fear of others thinking less of you; the certainty that there was no possibility that anyone could understand; the dread of seeing rejection, revulsion and shame in another's eyes; and the fact that it was TMI for anyone to get their head around.
Who in their right mind would want to hear the details of that kind of unspeakable shit?
Carmen had survived as best she could. Fighting or resisting would have made life hell, or Robert might have killed her. There had been no better choice for her than the course she had taken, and yet…would Kurt understand? Or would he be sickened by her slutty slave behavior?
As she remembered her mind went back to that time.
7. Slave Life
Carmen heard Master Robert coming down the stairs and immediately went into the submissive pose on the cement floor, kneeling, back and shoulders straight, chest out, head up with eyes averted to the floor. Her legs were open and spread wide, hands upon her thighs palms upward.
Calm and serene, Carmen was alert to him, her mind focused upon obedience and service. There was a thrill of honest joy at his arrival.
Music or not, it was difficult to always be so alone.
Robert had let her out of her cage earlier in the day, and he had fucked her from behind, and allowed her to climax. Climaxes were effortless once more, and yet there was something vital missing in them. Her whole life was a kind of surreal living pretense now, but it had to be that way.
Master Robert came and stood directly before her. "Look at me," he said, taking hold of her chin.
"Yes, Master," she said, raising her eyes.
"I am having guests over tonight, and you're part of the entertainment."
"If it pleases you, Master," she said.
There was a thrill of fear and excitement inside, but she hid it well. Who was coming? Was there any small possibility that they would help her? Like a spectator Carmen was aware that this signified a change that could be for the worse. It didn't matter. She would adapt.
It was astonishing how well she was able to control her body and emotions now.
"Good girl," Robert said, taking his warm fingers away and releasing her chin.
Her Master's approval rolled like a soothing caresses across her flesh. His praise delighted her. Carmen was on auto-pilot self-preservation mode, and yet body, mind, heart and soul, she couldn't bear his displeasure.
"You are becoming a very good slave, aren’t you?" he crooned. "This is how I should have started with you in the first place. You needed discipline. Do you still need discipline, Slave?"
"Yes, Master, if it pleases you," she said automatically, but she knew that it was always a bad sign when Robert started talking about discipline.
Carmen gracefully lowered her body, slid foreword and kissed his booted feet. Then she stayed in this position, resting her forehead on his boots. Would her subservience appease him? Carmen's naked and honest desire was for his approval. That was just how it was now. She had ceased questioning the madness that she had become a part of.
I belong to Robert, she thought. Right now I am his slave.
"It would please me to see you squirming under my lash, slave," he said and Carmen shivered, dreading the whip. "Or perhaps I'll cane your ass, so everyone can see your pretty stripes when they come."
Carmen sat up, eyes still down cast. Robert wanted to hurt her – not for her pleasure, he wanted to give her only pain. She hid her panic, and gave herself to the moment.
So be it.
Right now this was her fate and purpose, to serve and obey this man. She said serenely, "If it pleases you, Master. Thank you for teaching me."
Robert stroked her head, taking out the pins she had used to put it up. Carmen had put her hair up in an elegant coiffure because Robert liked to take it down. It was part of his control and it gave him pleasure. He put his hands on her shoulder, and when he did she felt a tiny little shudder go through her. As much as she tried she couldn’t control her every reaction.
He slid the tips of his fingers down to touch her nipples and Carmen felt them instantly peak underneath his palms. Robert began playing with them, pinching and squeezing. Carmen concentrated on regulating her breathing, accepting any pain, and enjoying whatever scraps of pleasure he might bestow.
Robert squeezed harder and twisted, not releasing her nipples, pinching them hard with his nails. Carmen realized then that perhaps he wanted her to react?
She gasped, sucking air in through her teeth with hiss, and Robert laughed. His attention was turning her on, and that is how Carmen needed it to be in order to survive this madness.
I live to obey, she repeated her mental mantra. I live to serve my master.
Robert tugged on her thick leather collar, giving it a twist and restricting her breathing. This was another form of control, letting her know that at any time he could choke her completely, cutting her air off and killing her.
In the early period of her capture, Robert often threatened her in order to make her obey. He explained that if he decided to take her life that no one would find her body. It had been a very real warning. Now Carmen knew that Robert didn’t want her dead. She was his sex toy, and he liked to play with her.
As Robert restricted her air, Carmen licked her lips, letting a sign of her nervousness slip in. Her alarm always gave her Master a thrill, because he liked to frighten her. The truth was, Carmen wasn't actually frightened.
Sick perverted fuck that she was, Carmen was turned on by Robert. Her pulse quickened and she opened her mouth, gasping air in faster.
"You little slut," Robert said with a chuckle, twisting the collar further. Carmen heard the blood pounding in her head as her blood flow was restricted. "This turns you on, doesn't it?" he laughed. "Everything I do makes you hot, doesn’t it you horny little cunt?"
"Yes, Master," Carmen choked out.
Carmen's high libido came naturally and it always had. But what would happen when she got away from Robert? Would she ever be able to enjoy sex again? Dominance had always turned her on, but Robert was taking her natural instincts and interests and using them against her. How the hell could she survive all this?
"Do you want to be leashed, pet?"
"If it pleases you, Master," she said. The moisture between her legs was running down her thighs. She could smell her own arousal.
"Good, pet," he said. He pulled a leash out of his pocket, and attached it.
"Thank you, Master."
He wound the leash up tightly around his hand, pulling her neck and throat, asserting his control. "Take my cock out," he said. "I am going to reward you with my cum."
"Oh, thank you, Master," Carmen said. She unbuckled his thin black leather belt, and then unzipped his charcoal trousers. Robert must have been out showing property because he was dressed impeccably. Carefully she took his long shaft out of his trousers and then waited for his next co
mmand. One thing she had learned was that Robert had to have complete control.
Carmen never, ever, initiated anything, not physically, not in conversation, nothing. Every time she had done so she had been punished, so what was the point?
Robert only wanted her abject servitude and instant compliance.
Carmen's heart chilled. Robert was not a true master, for he had no idea who she was. Even if he did know, he honestly wouldn't care.
8. Slave Mindset
"Lick it," he snapped. "And stroke it."
"Yes, Master," Carmen said. "Thank you, Master." With one hand caressing his balls, and the other stroking him, Carmen began to lick his fully erect cock with light, delicate touches, tasting and cleaning him of his musky pre-cum.
"Now suck it," he said.
Carmen obeyed, falling into the necessary head space. Like the flick of a switch, the sight and smell of him turned her on. Carmen felt her body becoming wetter, and her pussy clenched, wanting to be filled.
Robert gave her a number of directions which she obeyed exactly, and for many long minutes she worked his cock. Eventually he growled, "Hands behind your back. Lace your fingers together."
Carmen quickly complied. Robert dropped the leash and then fisted her hair with both hands. Then he face fucked her hard, going deeply right down her throat, stopping her breathing and choking her. That was okay, she had trained herself to tolerate this, and to accept everything from her master.
Still peaceful, still calm, Carmen had no difficulty with her gag reflex.
Again and again he thrust down her throat, pressing further into her, but not giving her time to get a breath between thrusts. Robert's cock wasn't overly thick, but it was long.
The room began to go yellow, and then dark. She was being suffocated yet she forced herself to remain still, striving to prevent her nostrils from flaring, and fighting to control her panicked need for air.
Robert wasn't satisfied until her natural survival instincts kicked in through lack of air. She tried to pull away in order to breathe, yet he thrust deep for so long that Carmen instinctively fought him, bringing her hands from where they had been behind her back, fighting and pushing against his legs.
He pulled out of her mouth enough so Carmen could take a few panicked breaths. Then he rammed back in again. His thrusts had quickened and her scalp stung as he fisted her hair and pulled it, using it for leverage.
"Take my cum," he said in a gruff, lust filled voice. "Swallow it all."
Carmen felt his thick hot semen jetting then, and despite everything, she moaned with pleasure. The sight, the sound and the smell of a man climaxing had always turned her on.
Robert pulled her hair with both hands and grunted, his hips thrusting hard against her as he fucked her face. His throbbing cock pulsed and jerked inside her mouth with each forceful spray. As he jetted his thick semen down her throat, Carmen was careful not to lose a drop.
Panting and still semi-erect he pulled out of her, one hand still gripping her hair to steady himself.
Carmen immediately began to lick and clean his cock. While this appeared like she was using her own initiative, she wasn't. Cleaning his cock after servicing him was a standing order.
After she had carefully tucked him back in his underwear and trousers and zipped him up she said, "I'm sorry, Master." Carmen knew that this was what he wanted to hear. Robert had sought a reason to punish her. That was okay. Whatever he wanted was what she wanted too, she told herself. "Please train me to do better. I wish only to serve you."
I live to obey, she reminded herself. I live to serve my master.
He chuckled. "You are improving," he said, and stroked her hair. "Crawl slowly to the spanking bench," he said. "You may crawl ahead of me as I want to watch your ass move. Do you want to take my cock up the ass, Slave?"
"Yes, thank you, if it pleases you, Master," Carmen said. Robert held her leash tight, restricting her air, which was the way he liked it.
The spanking bench was a red leather covered sawhorse, and designed just for her. It kept her at the perfect height so Robert could fuck her when he was finished spanking her. Carmen climbed onto it.
Robert sometimes preferred her to submit and choose to take his punishments. Unfortunately despite all her attempts at control she wasn't always able to remain still and he often had to restrain her anyway. Carmen had grown to hate being cuffed. Despite all her attempts to camouflage that fact, Robert knew it.
Carmen swallowed, barely able to control her dread as he shackled her arms and legs into position.
Obviously today was going to be a difficult day to remain still.
Carmen made sure her ass was arched up as Robert liked it, and kept her legs wide apart to give him access to any hole. Robert hooked her leash to the bench to add to her sense of helplessness. Then he stroked her buttocks in a loving caress.
"Spread your legs further apart," he said. Carmen knew that he did this just because he could.
"I love to make this ass of yours red, Slave," Robert said. "I am going to cane your cunt today, too. Would you like that?"
Carmen hid her flinch. "If it pleases you master," she said. Jesus. At least it isn't the whip. Robert wasn't always cruel, but obviously he wanted to impress his friends tonight.
Carmen had read a lot concerning the proper manner for a Dom to give a beating. There was a way to warm the slave up, and to bring him or her into a state of euphoria with slowly increasing pain combined with sexual pleasure. Robert was aware of this, and months previously, when they were dating and he was her Dom, Carmen had enjoyed climaxing from a spanking. Yet sometimes Robert simply wanted her punishment to hurt.
Today was going to be one of those days.
"How many canings shall I give you?" he asked, slipping his fingers into her pussy.
Carmen shut her eyes against the pleasure he wrought. He pushed two fingers in then, his thumb brushing her clit. Carmen allowed herself to moan, mainly because she thought Robert would like it. It was so tricky figuring out what to do during sex. It wasn't as if she could just give herself over to him and do what came naturally. Carmen had to be careful and so she was becoming quite the actress.
"As many as please you, Master."
"I think perhaps twenty."
Fuck! Carmen tried to remain outwardly calm, but she took a somewhat shaky breath, steadying her nerves. "As you wish, master." She felt content to find that her voice didn’t tremble.
Robert continued to manipulate her with consummate skill, until her pussy throbbed. If he kept this up she would be in danger of climaxing.
"Don't come," he warned.
"Not unless you allow it, Master," she said.
Robert got the cane and traced it up and down her body, building her nervous anticipation. "Count for me, Slave."
Crack! "One." Crack! "Two," Crack! "Three."
One side, then the other, then the same side, then between leg and ass right on the crease. Carmen's heart was pounding, and her breath came fast in ragged sobs.
Crack! "Four."
The last one hit her pussy in a searing explosion of fiery agony and she screamed. Two more on her pussy followed. "Five," "Six." Carmen was breathing heavily and sweating, and weeping uncontrollably.
Advice from the Master/slave manuals filled her thoughts as she attempted to bear the relentless agony: Surrender. Submit. Don't fight the sensation. Relax into the pain. Concentrate on your breathing. Breathe through it. And most important of all: Focus all your attention on pleasing your master.
My master is the center of my universe and this pain is his will, she reminded herself.
The master's duty was to always do the highest good for the slave. If Robert had her well being in his heart, Carmen might feel different about this pain, and could accept it. Then maybe her punishment would mean something. But now the only meaning she had was that Robert was sadistic and cruel.
The slave manuals said that Carmen should placidly take pleasure in such attention and
treatment from her Master… but they lied. No one could be calm while enduring this agony!
I can't enjoy this, she thought with violent, turbulent hidden emotions that she could hide but not control. This is not right! This is not how one should treat a slave. I hate my master!
The punishment went on and on with strikes to her thighs, buttocks and her pussy. Her hands curled into tight fists within her cuffs, Carmen screamed and suffered and survived it.
9. Sub Space
Just when Carmen felt she couldn’t take any more, she hit a breakthrough.
It was sub space, where endorphins and other chemicals flooded her system and the pain simply didn't hurt. When her rigid body relaxed, Robert was done. What was the point of continuing now that she could hardly feel it anymore? He stroked her red, heated flesh, sometimes squeezing and eliciting a small cry out of her.
"What do you say, Slave?" he asked.
"Thank you, Master for teaching me," she said in a voice hoarse from screaming. "Thank you for disciplining me."
Robert idly played with her swollen throbbing clit and Carmen wasn't astonished to feel intense pleasure. It didn’t matter how much Robert hurt her, Carmen's sexual appetite was always there, straining for release. Had she been given extra hormones? Or pheromones? Or something else?
Or am I just seriously fucked up?
She was familiar with the nature/ nurture theory, and wondered if learning to masturbate from the age of six had made her so uncontrollably needy and horny. Yet if she couldn’t climax, Robert would have probably killed her by now, unless she faked it. But how did one fake becoming wet? Either way, Carmen wasn't complaining. She would rather be able to become aroused and climax.
An orgasm was at least a physical pleasure that she was occasionally allowed.
"I am going to fuck your ass, now Slave, and then you are going to come when I am balls deep in your tight little hole," Robert said. "Would you like that?
Carmen whimpered, "Oh God, yes, Master."