see if it was just someone he knew coming in and forgetting to
   lock the door or something.”
   “Oh,” Shane said as he repressed a yawn. Vic yawned as
   well after hearing the sound. Shane was usually an early riser,
   but it sounded as if he needed sleep too. “Is he okay?”
   “I guess so. Apparently he’s too damn stubborn to call the
   police since he is one, so he checked it out himself.”
   “Fucking dumbass,” Shane mumbled as Vic heard the
   sheets rustling in the background. “How’d that go?” Shane
   asked wryly once he was settled.
   “I don’t know. I haven’t heard back from him,” Vic
   mumbled.
   “Oh,” Shane grunted noncommittally. It seemed Shane
   was of the same opinion as Vic that Owen had merely forgotten
   to call him back, rather than something being wrong. That was
   just the way Owen was. Life of the party, but not very reliable
   unless he was in uniform.
   “Yeah,” Vic said with a sigh.
   “You were saying about a conference?” Shane ventured as
   he repressed another yawn.
   Vic fought another yawn. “Stop that,” he scolded. “You’re
   making me sleepy.”
   “You
   should
   be
   sleepy,”
   Shane
   informed
   him
   unapologetically. “Are you going to the conference? The one in
   Raleigh? I didn’t see your name on the agenda.”
   “I was a last-minute add-on, apparently,” Vic told him with
   a sigh. “I was wondering if I could bunk with you. Hotels are all
   full.”
   “Sure,” Shane answered immediately.
   “You got any time off coming?” Vic asked Shane suddenly.
   22 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   “Yeah, actually,” Shane answered, perking up a bit. “I was
   planning on taking it right after the conference is over.”
   “Oh yeah?” Vic said with interest as he sat back up. “How
   long?”
   “Four weeks, baby,” Shane said with relish. “Heading to
   the beach all by my lonesome to see how drunk I can get.
   Why?”
   “Want to stick around Raleigh and distract me for a few
   days before you head out?” Vic asked with a slight blush.
   “I guess so,” Shane said with a hint of suspicion. “Why?”
   “Because.”
   “That’s not a reason,” Shane told him flatly. “I won’t be
   party to anything illegal… again.”
   “Being heartbroken’s only illegal in certain parts of the
   world, man,” Vic mumbled.
   “I see,” Shane responded slowly. “Finally giving up on
   him?” he asked carefully.
   “I’d like to say yes,” Vic said softly. “But I’m a realist. It’s
   going to take something drastic.”
   “Like… copious amounts of alcohol?” Shane said
   hopefully.
   “Something like that,” Vic said with a sigh.
   “Okay, I can handle that. I’ll send you the room
   information and I’ll see you there,” Shane said with an
   affectionate laugh before hanging up.
   He hadn’t said goodbye, but then Shane rarely did.
   23 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   “Just push the goddamned button,” Vic grumbled aloud as he
   stared at the display on his cell phone. Owen’s number was
   already punched into the phone. All he had to do was hit the
   button to send it. He was afraid to do it though. It had been
   four hours and he had heard nothing from the other man. He
   had probably just forgotten about Vic’s request that he call
   him. He was probably busy, dealing with the police and
   possibly going through his apartment to see what was stolen.
   He didn’t need to be bothered.
   Vic sighed and pushed the button anyway, and as he sat
   listening to the phone ring he tried desperately to quell the sick
   feeling it gave him. Contacting Owen always made him
   nervous. He supposed it was some subconscious fear of
   rejection. He was just fine when Owen initiated contact, but
   when he had to do it he always worried about bothering him or
   calling at a bad time or hearing that distracted “I’ve got better
   things to be doing than talking to you right now” voice that
   Owen tended to get when something was on his mind.
   “Hello,” Owen mumbled before Vic could change his mind
   and hang up the phone.
   “Owen,” Vic said after licking his lips nervously. His voice
   sounded nice and steady though, just as calm and cool as it
   always was.
   “Hey,” Owen said groggily. “Oh! Fuck, I was supposed to
   call you, wasn’t I?”
   “Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” Vic said
   as his stomach twisted unpleasantly. He recognized it as a mix
   between anger and his feelings being hurt. He had never been
   angry at Owen before; it was a decidedly new feeling.
   24 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   “Sorry, man. It completely slipped my mind,” Owen offered
   with a yawn. “I’m fine. Place got broken into, but they didn’t
   take anything important.”
   “That’s good,” Vic said in a clipped tone, growing angrier
   despite knowing that what Owen told him was exactly what
   happened before he’d ever called. He’d hoped differently, that
   maybe one of the many thoughts on Owen’s mind after finding
   that everything was intact would be to call Vic and let him
   know he hadn’t been shot by some burglar in the middle of the
   night.
   At least he knew how high he was on Owen’s totem pole.
   He had undeniable proof that he was just an occasional fly-by
   rather than a lover. Or hell, even a friend. He didn’t even
   warrant a call to say he was okay.
   “Glad all your shit’s all right, man,” he said succinctly
   before Owen could say anything else. “I’ll see you at work,” he
   offered coldly.
   He hung up the phone without bothering to say goodbye.
   Shane’s luggage was piled up beside the hotel room door,
   ready to head to the beach. Vic’s was packed up as well, ready
   to head back home to his empty apartment.
   The North Carolina Conference of Superior Court Judges
   had gone smoothly. Dull as dishwater, as Shane had so
   succinctly put it. Computer training classes, lectures on media
   relations for judges, judicial independence, updates on
   dispositive motions, and so on.
   Vic’s part in the lectures had been to present and lead a
   panel on evidence, specifically dealing with opinions and expert
   25 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   testimony. It had been marginally interesting. Well worth the
   chance to get away from home for a while.
   Shane was spending one last night in town before he left,
   treating Vic to a nice dinner out.
   Vic wasn’t sure whether he was glad for Shane’s company
   or not. Part of him was. It was keeping him from calling Owen
   and losing a little more self-respect. And he was almost
   pleasantly surprised to find that the longer he went without
   talking to Owen, the angrier he became. He didn’t know if it
    
					     					 			was an overreaction or just an emotion being magnified by the
   helpless, lonely feeling that came with unrequited love.
   He looked up from his plate suddenly and interrupted
   Shane during the middle of a sentence. “Do you think I’m
   overreacting?” he asked.
   Shane waved a hand through the air and sat back slightly.
   “What?” he asked, nonplussed.
   “About Owen,” Vic answered with a frown. “Should I be
   pissed?”
   “About what now?” Shane asked in confusion.
   Vic sighed and rolled his eyes, looking away at the next
   table and the couple dining there.
   “Vic,” Shane muttered as he leaned closer. “Can you even
   tell me what I was talking about?” he asked with a frown.
   Vic glanced back at him, his cheeks coloring slightly.
   “Baseball?” he ventured with a wince.
   Shane narrowed his eyes and pointed his finger at Vic.
   “Lucky guess,” he accused.
   Vic smiled slightly, but then closed his eyes and shook his
   head. “I’m sorry,” he offered sincerely. “God, he’s driving me
   26 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   crazy,” he said in frustration as he leaned forward and put his
   head in his hands.
   “Get hold of yourself, man,” Shane scolded in a low voice.
   Vic groaned and sat back in his seat. It would have been
   funny to hear Shane deliver that line in any other situation.
   “Is this about him not calling you back?” Shane asked
   dubiously.
   “Yes. No. It’s more than that,” Vic muttered as he picked
   up his fork and poked at his rice. He looked up at Shane with a
   frown.
   “Are you sure it’s him you’re pissed at, Vic?” Shane
   murmured.
   “What do you mean?” Vic asked.
   “I mean… you say he’s using you, but you’re the one who
   lets him,” Shane pointed out gently. “You sure it’s not you
   you’re pissed at?”
   Vic inhaled deeply and nodded, looking away again.
   “Does he even know how you feel about him?” Shane
   asked hesitantly. He sounded almost as if he didn’t want to
   know the answer.
   “I don’t know,” Vic muttered. He should, Vic thought, even
   though he’d never told him.
   Shane was silent, watching him as he pushed his food
   around his plate and told himself to stop brooding.
   He sighed and smiled slightly. “Thank you,” he said as he
   looked up at Shane. “I can always count on you when I need a
   swift kick in the ass,” he said wryly.
   “Trust me, it’s my pleasure,” Shane assured him.
   27 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   Vic’s phone began to vibrate in his pocket, and he
   muttered an apology as he fished it out and looked at the
   backlit screen. “It’s Owen,” he said in surprise.
   He looked up at Shane as if for guidance. He knew if he
   answered it, he would head right into whatever Owen wanted.
   He would forget that he was angry until afterward, then he
   would become even angrier for allowing it to happen again. It
   was a perilous downward spiral.
   Shane raised an eyebrow at him. “Answer it, don’t answer
   it,” he advised as he held up two fingers. “Two simple choices.”
   Vic scowled at him. It wasn’t that simple. He looked down
   at the phone in his hand hesitantly.
   “Vic,” Shane said in a low voice.
   Vic looked up at him. Shane was shaking his head.
   “Don’t answer it,” he ordered gently.
   Vic stared at him as the phone vibrated again. Then he set
   his jaw stubbornly and put the phone back in his pocket.
   Shane smiled slowly at him, and Vic returned it with a proud
   grin.
   “Phase One completed,” Shane intoned with a laugh. “Now
   just go throw the phone in that fancy koi pond over there and
   we’ll go get drunk.”
   Vic snorted and shook his head. “Phone stays dry. But I’m
   open to the getting drunk part.”
   “Deal.” Shane grunted as he slipped a few bills into the
   black envelope the server had left and then stood. “Come on,”
   he said as he took Vic by the elbow and dragged him out of the
   restaurant. “I have an evil plan,” he informed Vic nonchalantly
   as they walked to Vic’s car.
   28 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   “Does this one involve socket wrenches and teeth whitener
   again?” Vic asked worriedly.
   “No,” Shane answered firmly. Vic saw him trying to repress
   a grin.
   Shane had never really struck Vic as the Your Honor type.
   He was laid-back and friendly, most of the time, unlike a lot of
   the judges Vic dealt with. He was more apt to wear worn-out
   jeans and a Jimmy Buffett T-shirt when he wasn’t in court
   than he was to wear a suit and tie. He was comfortable with
   himself and let things come as they may, seldom worrying
   about what lay ahead, happy almost to a fault. And he
   compartmentalized well: this problem belongs with work, and I
   won’t let it bother me when I’m not there.
   He was the type of man Vic sometimes wished he could be.
   “What do you have going the next month?” Shane asked
   him suddenly.
   “What?” Vic asked in bemusement as the little blue hybrid
   beeped at their approach.
   “Obligations and that kind of thing. What do you have?”
   Shane asked as he lowered himself into the car and sighed
   heavily.
   “Uhh… just work, really. Couple of cases with a rookie
   prosecutor that I’m sitting for. Why? Is this part of your evil
   plan?” Vic asked suspiciously.
   “Come with me,” Shane said as he rolled his head back
   and forth, cracking his neck.
   “What?” Vic asked with a little laugh. “Come with you
   where?”
   29 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   “To the beach. We’ve both got years of fucking vacation
   days built up. Take a couple weeks. Get away. Go lie in the
   sand somewhere and stay perpetually buzzed for a month.”
   “Are you shitting me?” Vic asked incredulously. He looked
   over at Shane, who was watching him expectantly, and he
   laughed at his friend’s spontaneity. Had he not just been
   thinking that he wanted to be more like Shane? What better
   way to try than to spend more time with him?
   “You know what?” he said finally, thinking of the
   borderline depression he had sent himself into in the past few
   weeks, unable to do anything with himself but mope around.
   He was bored with his work, he was alone and lonely and
   rapidly losing his self-respect. One of the few bright spots lately
   had turned into a serious burr under his saddle. And now he
   was mixing metaphors. Hell, he didn’t even have houseplants
   to water. Why the hell not?
   “Yeah, okay,” he said with a nod. “Let’s go.”
   “Beautiful!” Shane exclaimed happily, though he didn’t
   sound surprised that Vic had agreed.
   Vic smiled. Shane knew him too well.
   “We’ll buy you a bathing suit when we get down there. We
   can leave tonight,” Shane outlined contentedly. “He 
					     					 			y! We can
   take the long way, drive down the coast and see all those
   places no one will go with me to see!”
   “You’re a crazy fuck, you know that?” Vic said
   affectionately.
   “Hey,” Shane grunted at him. “I need a break, you look
   miserable, and we both need a tan. Doesn’t sound so crazy to
   me.”
   30 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   II
   The various places that no one would go see with Shane
   turned out to be a variety of tourist destinations around the
   Outer Banks. Despite all the time Vic had spent in North
   Carolina—almost his entire adulthood—he had never been to
   the Outer Banks. There were a lot of things he’d always wanted
   to see: the array of lighthouses that lined the barrier islands,
   Jockey’s Ridge, the Wright Brothers National Memorial, the
   Lost Colony. His list of what he’d like to see went on and on
   and he hadn’t ever really realized it.
   Vic had managed to talk Shane down from leaving that
   night, though. He’d argued they would need a plan of attack
   before leaving and the hotel room was paid for already. So
   they’d sat down and done some research, planning the best
   route and what could be seen without too much effort. The trip
   would require two full days of travel and one night in a hotel,
   but it would be worth it.
   They left late the next morning, heading toward Manteo,
   North Carolina, at the northern tip of the Outer Banks. It took
   nearly all day to get there, and by the time they drove through
   the main drag of the whitewashed little township, it was getting
   close to dinnertime.
   “Should we try to go see the Lost Colony first, or eat?” Vic
   posed as he maneuvered the roadways and the crazy tourist
   traffic.
   “It’s a national park, right? It probably closes at some
   point,” Shane reasoned.
   31 Unrequited | Abigail Roux
   “Lost Colony it is,” Vic agreed as he turned, following a
   sign that headed them toward Roanoke Island.
   There was a smattering of cars in the parking lot when
   they finally reached their destination, most with out-of-state