“That is...funny,” he said, not finding it funny in the least.
“I know it’s not funny, ha-ha, it’s funny, ridiculous.”
“Ah, I see.” He looked around a bit, decided he was bored enough to continue the conversation and asked, “So do you like Circumvent?”
“Yeah, I mean, I wouldn’t dare step on an Austin staple like Circumvent’s toes but, yeah, they’re okay.”
“No, really, tell me. I don’t know about them. First time seeing them, actually. Enlighten me.”
I bit my bottom lip, contemplating ragging on this band that was merely okay. “You tell anyone I thought this, I’d have to kill you, capiche?”
“Lips are sealed,” he said, leaning closer.
“Circumvent,” I began, “have an incredible base which is fairly impressive, but I believe that’s because of longevity mostly. Their talent is mediocre, their songs catchy but a bit too commercial, and their stage presence lacks. They’re just, ‘meh.’ They lack the talent to really push themselves over the edge, to put them in a position to gain a national following.” As I spoke, the guy was leaning closer and closer to me. He looked at me like he’d just noticed me. “What?” I asked.
“What are you doing for a living right now....?”
“Oh, sorry,” I said. “I’m January.”
“I’m Jason,” the guy said, holding out his hand.
“Nice to meet you, Jason,” I said, taking his hand before dropping it. “I’m, uh, currently unemployed,” I said, laughing.
“Cool, cool. Don’t go anywhere after the show, okay?”
“Uh, okay,” I said, eyeing him strangely.
“I’m not a freak. I promise,” he said. “Just hang around in the crowd after the show. I’ll find you.”
“Why?” I asked him as he stalked off outside, forgetting why he was standing in line.
“Trust me. It’ll be worth sticking around for.”
This equally intrigued me as well as frightened me but not enough that I wouldn’t find out what it was all about.
After I got my water, I headed back up front and squeezed my way through the crowd back to Sunny’s side, but she was nowhere to be seen so I stood lamely by myself. I didn’t care that much actually because I wanted a good “seat” for The Belle Jar. I wanted to be near the stage because there was a chance I needed to help cue Will on bass as he kept missing his new entrance on their third song.
Pampered Life shot out like a rocket from the beginning and blanketed the crowd around me, making everyone stunned by the power of it. It wasn’t long before everyone realized that The Belle Jar was a force to be reckoned with. I was so proud of them, riding high on their talent right along with them.
Seemingly out of nowhere, my breath was wrestled out of my chest when I saw him inch closer to the stage, a quiet towering figure, eyes intent on the stage. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Breathe, January. Breathe. He watched The Belle Jar with rapt attention. As I looked on him, my feet pushed themselves closer on their own accord. I was being pulled toward him by an unseen force. I found my feet planted right next to him but couldn’t bring myself to look up at him. He was too magnificent to behold, really. He smelled so delicious I could have eaten him with a spoon. He was all man, no boy in him at all. I peeked briefly at his hands and guessed he probably played the bass judging by the size and location of the calluses.
I wanted to take his hands in mine and study them for hours, rub my thumbs over the worn bits of skin and warm them with my touch. The attraction I felt for him was heady and nothing like I’d ever felt for anyone before. My eyes followed his heavily clad feet, up his worn jeans, and around his wallet chain. I froze, not wanting to take it further, not wanting to know what I’d do if I went any higher.
A minute passed before my gaze traveled over the little bit of wide leather belt exposed under his dark, weighty hoodie and jacket. My eyes stopped at his goatee and I felt his considerable stare on my own face. He’d discovered me, but I was too enthralled to be embarrassed then. I reached up and met my eyes with his. They pierced me like an arrow, those ice blue eyes.
I don’t know what came over me. I couldn’t help myself it seems, and I watched my right hand travel up his arm slowly, glide over his shoulder, hesitate at his neck, but push further past the boundaries of sane as the back of my fingers trailed over the line of his jaw. I was pulled into the incredible magic this guy possessed over me. His skin was warm and surprisingly soft. His eyes closed at the feel of my hand, his jaw clenched slightly. I was distracted as his chest pumped with each deep intake of breath.
He surprised me when he turned more fully toward me and reached down, deliberately threading both his hands through my hair and bringing his face closely to mine. He narrowed his eyes, his brows furrowed slightly, conflict written in droves in the lines of his face. He took a deep breath in through his nose, languidly closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.
Sluggishly, I brought his beautiful mouth to mine. He tasted of mint and a little bit of yeast from the beer I saw him drinking at the bar earlier. It was the sweetest, most delicious flavor I’d ever tasted and, God, I wanted more. There was no shame in my motions as I gripped the front of his hoodie in both my hands and delved my tongue deeper into his mouth. The kiss became feverish, dangerous, heated. He moved one of his hands from my hair to the back of my neck and traced his fingers down to the small of my back, pressing me deeper into his chest and hips, inciting a slight moan from me which only spurred him on more.
Suddenly, his eyes shot open in realization. He broke it abruptly, pushed me away lightly and set me right on my feet. I felt bereft of something but didn’t know what that something was. I didn’t know this guy, didn’t know his name, yet it didn’t scare me or make me feel ashamed in any way. It felt right, so very right.
We both stared at the other deeply, panting from the exertion of our unbelievable kiss. I opened my mouth to speak but closed it, breathing deeper through my nose to control my nerves. Nobody had ever made me feel the way this stranger did. He was like electric fire on my skin. I needed to know his name but the silence between us seemed impenetrable, neither of us wanting to break the charged calm that separated us.
Unexpectedly, his eyes became hard, his stare admitting…disgust? His jaw clenched harshly. He turned and walked away from me into the crowd, leaving me alone with myself, alone with my thoughts. My eyes began to water as the final comprehension of what I’d just done washed over me in shameful realization. I blinked and a single tear came cascading down my cheek. I wiped it away just as I looked back up toward the stage, Casey’s face held an expression of concern, but I smiled at him just as I signaled to the bassist to begin his new entrance. Perfect timing, I thought absently.
I was no longer interested in seeing the rest of the set nor willing to endure Circumvent’s. I didn’t want to wait for the guy Jason from the bar either. I wanted out of there. I was humiliated and shunned and an idiot. Self-inflicted bad decisions seemed to be at the top of my list that day. I shoved my way through the crowd and finally broke free at the back on the verge of a sob. I went left into the bar just as someone grabbed the back of my shirt. I tried to ignore it, but the person insisted I turn around, so I did, ready to give them a few choice words but discovered the guy from the bar standing in front of me.
“I told you to stick around,” he said in a friendly tone.
“I know but I’ve gotta jet. Something’s come up,” I said vaguely, tensing my expression to avoid shedding the tears that wanted so badly to come flooding at that moment.
“No, you’re staying,” he said, ignoring me and offering his arm. I opened my mouth to tell him to screw off, but he gave me a look that shut me up. “Trust me, January,” he whispered kindly. “You are not going to want to miss this.”
“Fine,” I said, a little peeved but more sad than anything. I took his arm and we worked our way to the edge of the c
rowd as The Belle Jar’s set came to an end. The crowd went berserk. “Told you,” I said to Jason.
“You’re right. They were different and talented.”
“I know.”
“But I want to see Circumvent now. I want to confirm what you’ve said.”
“Why?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows in suspicion.
Jason’s eyes lit up when he noticed someone behind me. “Ah, there you are,” he said, physically turning me around to meet whomever he was talking to. My stomach dropped when I saw who he meant for me to meet. The scout from Seven. The asshole I kissed (who kissed me back!) and left me in the middle of a crowd. “January, this is Tom. Tom, this is the girl I was telling you about.”
Tom’s eyes grew sarcastic, his mouth tilted to one side. “You move fast, little girl.”
My mouth dropped open in shock. “Excuse me?”
All earlier sensations of sadness left me in a whoosh and replaced with anger. I could work with anger.
“Nothing,” he said, a soft snort escaping. “Are you seriously wasting my time with this, Jason?”
“I’m not wasting your time, Tom.”
My hand balled tightly formed before I could grasp what I was doing. Circumvent began playing just as I was about to bring my fist into Tom’s mouth but Jason stopped my hand from shooting forward. He dragged me closer to the stage and away from Tom. “Do you know Tom?” he asked in disbelief.
“No, I don’t.”
“Then why - You know what? Never mind. I don’t want to know.”
We listened to one song by Circumvent before Jason dragged me back toward Tom. We stood there, Tom and I, seething toward each other. I’d offended this guy somehow. Since the kiss was burned so elegantly into my mind, I couldn’t put my finger on why he was so pissed. I may have started the whole thing but he kissed me back. Trust me, he kissed me back, hard and without reserve. He has no reason to be so arrogant. So mean. So...so...so...ugh!
“You’re right,” Jason said, bringing me out of my hateful thoughts.
“What?” Tom and I said in unison.
“January. She was right. Circumvent was mediocre, at best.”
“So what?” Tom said shrugging. “We were here to see The Belle Jar, I told you that.” This surprised me and my eyes widened briefly.
“I know, but January offered me an honest opinion about Circumvent that bewildered me. She knows what she’s talking about, maybe as much as you do, Tom.”
“Sure she did. She’s just a talented, talented girl, isn’t she?”
“That’s it!” I said, ready to throw that punch yet again.
“Jeez!” Jason exclaimed, dragging my body against his to prevent Tom getting the beating I wanted to throw his way. “What happened between you two? Do you know her?” Jason asked Tom, ignoring my earlier answer.
“No.”
“Then what the hell is up with you guys? You claim you don’t know one another but you’re at each other’s throats. What? Did he hit on you, January, and you turned him down?”
We both turned beat red, my throat and face heating to that unnatural red, giving me away.
“Ah,” Jason said, jumping to the wrong conclusion. I wasn’t going to correct him, his scenario put me in a better light and shunned this guy Tom, but what surprised me was Tom didn’t correct Jason, he just stared at me harshly. “Dude, January, if Thomas Eriksson hits on you, you let him down easy. He’s got a broken heart the size of Montana.”
Tom shifted uncomfortably in his place. “I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.”
“Come on! It’s obvious, dumbass. In New York you’re one person, you jump at the chance to move to Austin, you change everything about yourself here. You’ve been screwed over. Bad, from what I can see.”
I stood there, watching both of them exchange a conversation I could tell I wasn’t meant to hear. Jason, realizing this, shook his head and turned toward me.
“Listen, January, Tom is a talent scout for Seven Seas. Ever heard of them?”
“I’m not a complete idiot,” I answered.
“The jury’s still out on that,” Tom said under his breath.
“I’m Tom’s boss,” Jason said quickly, hedging my reaction. “Though, now I’m not so sure anymore.” Tom shrugged as if it meant nothing to him, this dream job, making Jason sigh. “Anyway, I’d like to offer you a position at Seven.”
“What?” Tom and I said together, again. We turned to each other in disgust, pissed that we picked the same word.
“Seriously?” I continued on. I couldn’t believe it.
“Seriously. You’d have to move to New York, though. Can you swing that?”
“Of course. I’m free as a bird.” Tom snorted, but I ignored it.
“Good, it’s gopher work for right now, but eventually, with some grooming, you can start scouting with a veteran.”
“Oh my God, thank you, Jason,” I said hugging him in a moment of unprecedented girliness. Jason was genuinely surprised and I felt a little embarrassed, my neck turning beet red.
“It’s cool. I want you at this address,” he said, handing me a business card, “in two weeks. It doesn’t pay shit but neither does scouting, just ask Tom here.” He smiled but the smile fell when we looked on Tom. “Uh, anyway, it’s worth it. You’ve got an in with the execs and if you play your cards right, you can make some pretty decent cheese in time. Plus, it’s a cool gig for musicians like yourself.”
“So awesome. Thank you, Jason. I’m stoked.”
I shook Jason’s hand excitedly and told him I’d see him in New York in two weeks. I didn’t even acknowledge Tom, turned and headed for the stage and let the crowd swallow me up, but somehow I felt Tom’s stare, heavy and hot on the back of my neck and I clenched my hands.
Don’t turn around. Don’t turn around.
I turned around and there he stood, his eyes practically undressing me and I shivered from his hard stare. What do you want me from me? I begged him silently. I wanted him, this stranger, to want me as badly as I wanted him. I wanted him to part the crowd around me, scoop me up and drag me back to his car. I wanted his hands on my neck, my hair, my back, my body. I wanted his lips on mine. I wanted him with a fierceness I didn’t find ladylike. I also wanted to sock him in the throat. What is happening to me!
His labored breath was visible from the twenty feet away I stood from him and when he was done perusing my body, he turned away in obvious disgust. Gah! My body shivered in reaction to his scrutiny. Even his stare set me on fire. What is wrong with me?
I shook my head and turned to meet The Belle Jar backstage. It didn’t matter. In two weeks, I’d be living in Jersey with Grandma Betty and commuting back and forth to the city that never sleeps and as far away from this guy as I could get.
New York City, here I come.
Chapter Two
Something You Misplaced
Six months later....
Thomas
Jason signed The Belle Jar almost immediately which made me unusually happy, but that wasn’t because I felt guilty about screwing over their friend, January. No, it was because they were a genuinely talented band and they were going to make the label millions, therefore making me indispensable. It wasn’t because I thought about the kiss I’d shared with January more than I thought about Kelly lately or that I found January to be the hottest chick I’d ever seen. No, it was for the band. The band.
Even if I was into January, which I’m not saying I was, because she was a virtual stranger, she was over seventeen-hundred miles away in New York City, ironically trading places with the old me it seemed. Jason talked about her nonstop, which made me extraordinarily uncomfortable. He teased me incessantly about how she turned me down and about how she blew through the label like a perfumed tornado when she arrived, impressing everyone and solidifying her as a label necessity. Oh, and that apparently she was dating the guy who deli
vered everyone’s mail? Seriously, January? That guy doesn’t even shower!
A year into Austin, Jason rung me to tell me to pack my bags. The Belle Jar’s debut CD, Pick Your Poison, Miss Smith went platinum and the label was throwing a party. Also, he said I wouldn’t be coming back to Austin. Supposedly, I’d impressed Seven with my recent picks lately and they were sending me overseas. Dude, I was incredibly pumped and couldn’t believe my luck. It was a dream come true for me. Now, if I can just endure Kelly’s presence, just long enough to hop a plane over the Big Blue and leave her memory behind. Yeah, you’re running from Kelly, dude. Kelly.
“Oh, God,” I said under my breath as I picked up my luggage at the carousel and began the descent down the long corridor to catch a cab.
At the end, near the doors, stood Cherry, Charlie, Callum, Harper, and the rest of the gang, including Jason. Just to the right stood a bouncing Kelly on the arm of Carter. My stomach plummeted but not at the sight of Kelly, which shocked the hell out of me. No, it was because my eyes kept searching behind Jason for January, of all freaking people. January!
Marty held up a huge sign that read, “Mister Thomas Eriksson, Big Shot and All Around Badass.” I dropped my bags and held out my arms. She ran to me and I picked her up, spinning her around, before setting her down and hugging all of my extended family.
“Love the sign, M,” I told her, squeezing her shoulders.
“You’re welcome.”
“So, my place or yours?” I asked everyone, inciting a cheer.
“Ours,” Charlie said, gesturing to Cherry, as we all began to fall out the door, chatting amongst ourselves, excited and full of mischief.
“How’ve things been around here?” I asked for the millionth time that week when Jason and I got a few feet ahead of everyone.
“Dude, you keep asking me that and I told you, everything’s cool. Is there something in particular you’re worried about? Because Europe is a done deal, my friend. I’ve got your tickets all ready in my office. Chill.” He eyed me warily before it dawned on him. “Oh, shit! It’s the girl, isn’t it?”