“Wow, that’s huge.”
“See, I thought of all the people I know, you might understand. It is huge—it’s fucking huge! Even my shrink is impressed.”
“So I take it that your counseling is going well?”
“Reiny, that’s my pet name for him—God, he hates it—he tells me I’ve been much more open this time around. Seems hitting rock-bottom has that effect on the strong.”
“Did he say that or did you?”
“Well, maybe not in those exact words, but let’s just say he’s impressed with my progress.”
“That’s great, Mary. Really great. Sir will be thrilled to hear it.”
“Yeah,” she growled. “Don’t think I’m unaware that everyone’s been talking about me behind my back.”
“Seriously, you’re not that important. People are concerned, yes, but Miss Wilson isn’t the main topic of conversation.”
“Sure I’m not…”
Brie let out a snort. “I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or being serious.”
Mary grinned, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
“Well, at least it’s good to see you acting like yourself again.”
“Brie, I have to ask…”
“What? Anything.”
She paused for a long time. “How’s Faelan? I haven’t stopped thinking about him, not for a second since he left.”
Brie frowned, wishing she had something positive to share with her. “I’m really sorry, Mary. I have no idea where he is and I haven’t heard from him since we left the commune.”
“Don’t you think it’s fucked up? I’m finally getting my shit together, but he’ll never know I love him?” A tear escaped, but Mary brushed it away angrily.
“He knew that, Mary,” Brie assured her, trying to stop her voice from quavering. “I believe that’s why he never gave up on you.”
Mary buried her face in her hands, trying unsuccessfully to hold back tears.
Brie looked away, knowing she was about to fall apart herself. She was angry that fate had been so cruel to them.
Mary took a couple of deep breaths, brushing away her tears. “Well, I’m done talking.”
They stood up together, but Mary walked over to the dresser mirror to fix her face and fluff her hair before presenting herself to the group again. She turned and smiled wickedly at Brie. “Since this is the only time I’ll ever be in here…”
Before Brie could stop her, Mary went behind the bar and tried to open the cupboards. “They’re all locked! I bet this bar is really just a cover to hide all his toys from the kids.” She slapped her hands on the counter in frustration. “Damn, I was hoping to see what kind of kink he’s into.”
“OMG, Mary, get away from there! You have no decorum whatsoever.”
Mary held her arms up in surrender. “Fine, but don’t tell me you weren’t curious.” She shut the double doors to the bedroom, murmuring, “Some other time, Gallant…”
Brie would never admit it to Mary, but she was curious. Mr. Gallant was a compelling mystery that she’d often contemplated, and it appeared the man was destined to remain that way.
Darkness
Brie arrived to an empty home, even though she didn’t get in until after two in the morning. She wasn’t surprised, however, knowing Sir and Lilly had a lifetime to catch up on.
She drifted into the bedroom and was getting ready for bed when she noticed Sir’s journal open on his nightstand. She inadvertently glanced at it, wondering if it might hold a fantasy of his. When she saw the word ‘Mother’, she immediately picked it up to read, wanting to know what he was feeling.
Mother
You are darkness
You seek to destroy
Betrayal as your heritage
Cruelty your legacy
And yet
I care
Forever damned
By the love that ruined me
Yet haunts me…
Still
Brie sat down, rubbing her hands over the words, wishing she could remove the profound pain expressed on the page. She knew Sir still struggled with memories from the past, and meeting his sister had only helped to stir the nightmares he’d kept buried deep within.
She closed his journal and kissed it, placing it back on the nightstand. “May tonight bring you a new level of peace, Sir.”
Not being the least bit sleepy, Brie decided to wander back out to the couch with a large blanket to cuddle in. She turned on the TV for background noise and whipped out her laptop to work on her film while she waited for Sir’s return.
She was in the middle of reviewing the footage between Rytsar and his young sub when she could have sworn she heard his name on the TV. She glanced up and turned up the volume when a picture of him flashed across the screen.
“…Rachel, I have a little tidbit about the man we’ve been hearing so much about.”
“Do tell!”
“I did a little digging and discovered our Russian hero is the very same Rytsar Durov from that naughty underground hit last summer.”
“Get out!”
The two women giggled as they fanned themselves.
“Of course, it’s tragic what happened to the girl, but how dreamy it must have been to be rescued by him.”
“Those big buff arms…”
Brie quickly googled Rytsar’s name and was shocked to find a recent news article detailing the captive girl’s ordeal. Upon further investigation, she found that the culprit of the leak was the girl herself. Apparently she had fallen for the Russian Dom and wanted the whole world to know of his heroism.
Brie started hyperventilating, afraid this young woman’s zeal might end up costing Rytsar his freedom or even his life. She picked up the phone and called his private cell, a feeling of unease setting in when he didn’t pick up quickly enough.
“Hello?” he finally answered in his thick Russian accent.
“Rytsar, have you heard what’s happened? Stephanie, that young girl you saved, just told the world who you are and what you did.”
He cursed under his breath. “Titov specifically told her and her family to remain silent. Why would she do this?”
“I’m not sure, but I think it might be a case of hero-worship. This girl’s going on and on about how you saved her from the bad guys. Luckily, the only substantial information I’ve been able to glean from the internet is your name and your main residence in Moscow. Get ready, though—the phone is about to start ringing off the hook.”
Rytsar snorted. “No, the landline was destroyed in the fire, radost moya. They will not be able to reach me, and only those I trust have this number.”
“What if you get in trouble because of this?”
“The girl knows little,” he assured her. “Titov spoke to her extensively before they left the Motherland. Besides, without a body or witnesses, there is no crime. Do not fret—you will not be tied in any way to the event.”
“That’s right, you don’t know! They’ve already associated you with my documentary.”
Rytsar sounded amused rather than upset. “You Americans and your fascination with the men of Mother Russia.”
“This isn’t a laughing matter!”
He lowered his voice, speaking calmly to her. “I do not foresee it being an issue for you—I will ensure it.”
“What about you?”
“Huh! If something were to befall me, I would not alter the course of my actions. I am at peace, radost moya. There is no reason to be concerned.”
Brie’s lip trembled when she confessed, “I couldn’t handle it if anything were to happen to you.”
“It won’t.”
Not willing to end their phone call and still longing to know about his past, Brie prodded hesitantly, “Rytsar?”
“Da?”
“Can I ask you what happened to Tatyana?”
The phone went silent.
“Rytsar?”
He whispered softly to himself, “Tatyana…” It seemed as if simply h
earing her name had flooded him with images and memories. “Yes, radost moya, I will tell you of her.”
Brie turned off the TV and wrapped the blanket around her, chilled by the haunted tone of his voice.
“I wouldn’t have known her if it weren’t for Titov. We were boyhood comrades, he and I, making trouble in the streets of Moscow. The two of us got into many scrapes together.” He chuckled to himself. “You wouldn’t believe the numerous whippings I suffered under my father’s belt because of our mischief—all worth it.”
Brie giggled, imagining the little hellion Rytsar must have been.
“But as often as I hung around Titov, I never really noticed his little sister until she turned sixteen. I’d been invited over for dinner one evening, and she greeted me at the door. It was then that I was confronted by those dangerously arched eyebrows and blossoming curves.” He grunted with pleasure at the memory. “It was as if a light bulb had suddenly been switched on and I was consumed by only one thought: MINE!”
Brie smiled to herself, imagining that moment.
“However, Tatyana told everyone she was saving herself for the right man. She purposely ignored me, inviting the chase. But I was content to bide my time, in no particular hurry to settle down just yet.”
He growled under his breath. “It wasn’t long after that Titov started running with a different crowd—people I refused to associate with. I warned him, but he was young and foolish, full of ambition. He and I went our separate ways, but I never forgot about Tatyana. I knew she was waiting for me to claim her.”
“On her eighteenth birthday he came banging on my door, shouting that Tatyana had gone missing. We looked everywhere for her only to discover that one of his new ‘comrades’ had amassed a huge gambling debt. The boy had needed to turn a quick profit or lose his life as payment. Rather than face his fate, the maggot kidnapped Tatyana and sold her to a foreign buyer. The two of us beat the shit out of him to get the information, only to miss rescuing her by mere minutes—minutes!”
A tear ran down Brie’s cheek at the thought of the young woman being kidnapped and raped repeatedly, believing she’d been forsaken, never knowing how close she’d come to being saved…
“We were forced to spend the next five months playing a perverse game of cat and mouse as we tracked her from owner to owner.” Rytsar’s tone became more subdued when he told Brie, “She was broken, just skin and bones, huddled in a corner, high on heroin the day we finally caught up with her. When Titov approached Tatyana, she offered herself to him, begging her brother to be gentle. We foolishly thought we’d saved her when we brought her back home, but what did we know?”
“But you did save her,” Brie insisted.
“Nyet. We failed to understand how shattered she was. Her family and I bought her smiles and assurances, and took heart when she forced herself to start eating again. The reality was that she was appeasing us, just biding her time—whether she knew it or not.”
Brie felt chills when she heard his next words. “I’ll never forget the day she killed herself. I’m not a man for sentimentalities, but I bought her yellow flowers. It was a national holiday and I was in a rare mood to celebrate.” He paused, his voice becoming bitter. “Now I only associate yellow with blood… I hate flowers.”
“Why did she do it when she had so much to live for?”
“Tatyana told me once that she was tainted beyond repair, and it made me furious. I swore to her that anyone who dared tell her that would answer to me personally. I failed to listen, radost moya. She was not talking about other people’s perceptions of her, but her own.”
Brie heard the heartbreak in his voice when Rytsar confessed, “You cannot fix the broken, no matter how much you want to. She was the one—my mate and the future mother of my children. When that maggot took her, he not only stole her future, but mine and that of generations to come.”
Rytsar pounded his chest, howling in rage, the sound of sickening thuds carrying over the phone line. Tears rolled down Brie’s cheeks as she listened, knowing there was nothing she could do to ease his suffering or the unbearable loss he felt.
When the terrifying sounds stopped, an eerie silence followed.
“Rytsar?” she cried out softly.
His hoarse voice cut through the darkness like a beacon of hope. “That’s why this girl is important. Titov and I need her. We need her not only to survive—but to live.”
Those words haunted Brie after they hung up. She put her computer away, no longer able to work. Instead she folded the blanket, laying it on the arm of the couch before heading off to bed. Just as she flicked off the lights, she heard the ding of the elevator in the hallway.
She didn’t know what possessed her, but she jumped into bed and pretended to be asleep.
Sir lingered out in the hallway for an unusually long period of time. Finally his welcome footsteps started towards the bedroom and she buried her head in the pillow. She heard him step inside the threshold, but then stop.
After several long, agonizing moments, Brie snuck a peek to see what was going on. Sir was standing in front of her, looking down with a knowing smile on his lips.
“Just wake up?”
She looked up at him guiltily. “No, never fell asleep.”
He chuckled as he started loosening his tie. “I noticed the blanket was still warm in the other room, and you don’t usually sleep with your face smashed into the pillow.”
She pulled back the covers and invited him to bed. “How was the opera with your sister, Sir?”
The sparkle in his eye said it all. “It went far better than I’d hoped. Tell me, how was the party?”
“It was wonderful, Sir.”
“Since neither of us feels like sleeping, why don’t we fill each other in on the night’s events? Waiting until morning only ensures we’ll forget a detail or two.”
“Did you hear about Rytsar and the girl?”
Sir nodded. “Durov texted me. I’ll be watching the situation closely, but for now all we can do is wait, trusting it will blow over without incident.”
“Rytsar told me about Tatyana.”
“Such an unfortunate loss,” Sir stated, a sad look in his eyes. “Although it spurred him to come to the States as an exchange student, it’s sobering to think that his loss became my gain. I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t met Durov in those early college years.”
“Life is a strange journey.”
Sir grunted his agreement.
Brie wanted to lighten the mood, so she fluffed up the pillows and propped herself against the headboard, snuggling against Sir when he joined her in bed. “Why don’t you tell me all about Lilly?”
To her delight, he shared everything. Not only what they’d discussed, but his thoughts and impressions throughout the evening. Any concerns Brie had had about being left out disappeared as Sir detailed the entire night. What struck her most was how excited he seemed. Sir radiated energy, as if he were riding on an emotional high.
“Until tonight, I can’t say I would have understood when you shared Miss Wilson’s assertion that one could feel whole again. But it seems, for a brief moment, I experienced that this evening.”
Although Brie found that admission surprising, she was completely unprepared for Sir’s next revelation.
“Brie, in the spirit of feeling whole…” He pulled her closer. “I have a serious question for you.”
“Of course, Sir. You can ask me anything.”
He cupped her chin and smiled. “For this conversation, call me Thane.”
Brie’s interest was piqued, and she leaned in to kiss him. “My pleasure…Thane.” She loved the way his given name rolled off her tongue when she said it—so sexy and romantic.
“There’s something that my grandfather did on his wedding night. He spoke of it as if it was the greatest experience of his life. One not to be missed.”
“Oh! You have my mind spinning now. I can’t even imagine what you’re about to say.”
&
nbsp; Sir gently stroked her cheek, causing tiny, tingling jolts of electricity to run over her skin. “My grandfather said the most beautiful moment of his life was when he made love to my grandmother on their wedding night. He said it was knowing they might conceive a child from the union that made it so singular.”
Sir continued, tracing her lips with his fingertip. “My father hinted at the same thing. It’s tradition for our family—no contraception allowed on the honeymoon. Simply a man and his woman, committing their lives in the most intimate way.”
He gently pressed her head to his chest, stroking Brie’s hair as he looked down at her. “You’ve mentioned you want children, Brie.”
She nodded, but added softly, “When you’re ready.”
“Durov was not wrong to point out I’m not getting any younger. I feel, if this is truly the direction you want to go, we should start a family sooner rather than later. There’s no sense in putting it off.”
Brie lifted her head. “While I can appreciate what you’re saying, S—Thane, I have my documentary to think of, and you’re still building your overseas business.”
“True enough, which is why you must be absolutely certain this is the path you want to take. I’m willing to have children, but only if we begin now.”
The reality of what he was suggesting was both thrilling and frightening to her. “Now?”
“If we conceive quickly, which is no guarantee, I will still be in my mid-forties by the time the oldest is barely ten. It’s now or never, Brie.”
She bit her lip, adrenaline flowing through her veins as she seriously considered his proposal. “A family when I’m still just a kid myself?”
“My grandmother was nineteen when she had her first child, and my mother…only twenty-two.”
Brie took a deep breath as reality began to sink in. “I would have to put my career on hold.”
“Probably, at least for a few years once you get pregnant. If we do this, I want you to take care of yourself and the baby. No late nights, and no last-minute deadlines.”
She shook her head in disbelief. “I have to admit, when you started the conversation tonight, this was so not the direction I thought it was headed.”