CHAPTER 19
Sabrina knew it was pointless to attempt escape, which was why she tried to sleep on the bench as soon as Marshall took the plunge. Apparently avatars can retain insomnia, however, so after half an hour she picked up Godly Simplicity to find the only refuge available now.
Its pages were mostly a blur of ink, though some lines that stood out in her memory were clear:
The degeneration of man starts when he ties himself to that which he could lose yet keep his identity.
If Christ found a way to live the most joyful, fulfilled life possible in a world devoid of robots and mind-altering methods, who are we to build our society around these unnecessary amenities?
The human mind can quickly acclimate to any material – but not spiritual – environment, thus it stands to reason that the wise human ought to aim for the bare minimum materially, the maximum spiritually.
All profound axioms for her new life, but what good did it all do her now? According to what rudimentary knowledge of the Gospel she’d gleaned from the book, Christ need never have feared an omniscient person because the only such person was his father.
She threw it at the floor and joined it there, supine.
It was obviously a test, but she was ignorant of which questions to answer in order to pass.
Grasping at straws, it briefly occurred to her to make a murderous attempt that Marshall wouldn’t know came from her if it failed. But that was futile, practically and ethically. She’d already tried lies and exploitation of lust. Violence, even if against something that might not be “real,” wasn’t likely to be any more efficacious, and it would cost her soul.
After a prayer that was one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent desperation, she got up to do what she normally did when reason failed her. Sabrina went to the spot Marshall had occupied near the wall, closed her eyes, and let herself fall through the barrier.
It worked.
She breathed without truly respiring, letting all the stress and fright float to the top. Still blinding herself, she swam for the first time in over a dozen years. Synthetic sea creatures brushed past her, and without worries of drowning it was like being in zero-g all over again.
This is absurd, she thought as she drifted alongside a shark after identifying it by touch, but it’s all I can do.
Eyes now open, Sabrina scanned in vain for Marshall. A minor trench to the east caught her eye – perhaps he’d retreated through it. She positioned her feet on a wall of the park and, scaring away a school of tiny fish, pushed off into the unknown.
Seeing no human life ahead, she figured it best to keep advancing blindly. She had always liked having some time to think in the water. Would the effects of pregnancy afflict her even in this dream world? Just what had happened in those hours before she met Uriah, if the sabotage was a lie? Was Uriah okay? Was there a moon in this universe?
At least I can answer that one. Sabrina changed her direction to skyward.
Dozens of thin spikes pierced her ankle.
As she turned to examine the source of the pain – and the cloud of blood that obscured it – Sabrina felt her air getting scarce. Water flowed in through her nose, intensifying the abrupt sense that she’d crossed the boundary between surreality and reality.
All the while a voice was whispering to her fading consciousness, “You failed.”