When Jack and I came in from a morning ride, Jericho was awaiting us in the library. Jericho was not dressed in livery, but in his leisure clothing, as he had already been out that morning searching for George.
When the door was closed, I approached him. “Have you discovered something?” Please, let it be so.
“Unfortunately not. If there were ever a trail, it has long since been covered. I fear that until we force Levitas to disclose his whereabouts, we will not find him.”
It was as I feared. Levitas had not met again, nor had there been any word that they knew about our capturing their assassins.
When Jericho was seated across from us, I watched him closely. From the way he clasped then unclasped his hands; I knew he was worried over something.
Jericho had long been a favorite of mine. When we were children, he had given me my first kiss. It was done on purpose, but it was a memory I cherished. We had been training in the art of seduction. As my father was wont to say, “Seduction is not restricted to one sex. A person who can seduce can reduce their mission time in half.”
We were each given a card and told to tuck it somewhere on our person. The object was simple. The first person to retrieve the card from their partner was declared the victor. Jericho and I had been teamed together, and while I toyed with my fan and batted my eyelashes, Jericho went straight for the win. He had been twelve to my thirteen, but he was the tallest of all the boys. His arms wrapped around my waist, and the next thing I knew he was kissing me. I was so stunned that I never noticed his retrieving my card until he released me and bowed. Since then, I knew never underestimate him, and that his kisses were a power all their own. We had grown to be a family, and my girlish fancy had changed into a deep respect.
His jaw was tight, and his lips were compressed. When he met my gaze, there was a strong will in his brown eyes. “There is something that I must ask,” Jericho said, and as he nervously shifted his weight foreboding moved inside me.
“I would ask your permission and your blessing on my marriage. To Mariah.”
Jack and I stared at him, each with our mouths agape. Surprise, astonishment, and fear all coursed within my body. Surprise and astonishment I understood, but the fear was unsettling. As the leader of the Phantoms in Philadelphia, it was my permission that had to be gained if someone wished to marry. That brought thoughts of Ben into my head. Ben had had to gain my father’s permission to marry me, not only as my father, but as my leader. That must have been where the fear stemmed from. Ben had died in our line of work.
“Am I,” I cleared my throat, “to understand that you love Mariah?” Jericho nodded, holding my gaze. “Does she return your regard?”
A smile crept slowly to Jericho’s lips, and he was again the little boy whom my father had brought home all those years ago; the wild boy with the free spirit who knew how to protect himself. I had always been secretly impressed and a little in awe of Jericho. He possessed an inner strength to rival my father’s. When Jericho donned the wolf mask, he became a wolf, but he never struck against someone until they made the first move. He was just.
“I can think of no other man who would be better for Mariah,” I said, and Jericho released a puff of air. “I will give my blessing, but you must wait to wed until after this mission with Levitas, and George is found.”
Jack and I stood, and Jericho threw his arms around Jack and hugged him, picking him completely off the ground.
“Put me down, you wolf,” Jack said with a laugh. Jericho dropped Jack to his feet and came toward me. I took a step back in funning, but he only took my hands and stared down into my eyes.
“I swear on all the stars in the sky you will never have cause to regret this decision.”
Somehow, I knew I never would. I had never thought about it until that moment, but there had been looks passed between them for months, and Jericho was always the one who helped Mariah into the carriage or onto her horse or to escort her when I sent her on an errand. Mariah would marry a great man, which she mightily deserved.
“When shall you ask her? Is it to be kept secret?”
Jericho looked sheepish as he ran a hand through his fair hair. “I would like to ask her immediately, but not here.”
“Most definitely not here. Take her on a picnic,” I said, and both Jericho and Jack stared at me. “I can be romantic when the occasion demands.”
Jericho laughed then planted a kiss on my cheek. I went out with him, and as he went to saddle their horses, I told Mrs. Beaumont what was afoot, and she scurried off to see to a basket lunch. I found Mariah in my chamber and told her she and Jericho were being sent on an errand, one that would require she not wear her maid uniform.
After Jack and I had seen them off, there was another pang in my heart. It was like a void, a cavern of emptiness, dark and daunting. We went back into the library, and Jack shut the door then leaned against it with a frown fixed on his lips. I leaned back against my chair and closed my eyes. Andrew came to mind, but he was immediately replaced with Ben’s image. I knew that what I was feeling was guilt and shame. Somehow over the years, I had become bitter, clinging to a memory. It was that memory which drove me on day after day, mission after mission. A need for justice that I could never possibly acquire.
“Bess, what is going on in your mind?”
Jumping at the sound of his voice so close, I raised my gaze to his. He was standing before my chair, staring at me with concern etched in his frown. For a moment, I considered lying, shrugging his question away, but I needed to speak with someone before I burst.
“Do you believe I am betraying Ben,” I swallowed the lump rising in my throat, “by allowing Andrew’s attention?”
Jack sat in the chair across from mine, leaning forward to rest his arms on his knees. I looked away from Jack’s intense stare.
“Did I ever tell you that Ben came to see me on the day he died?” Jack asked, and my gaze instantly flew to his. I could not speak, so I shook my head.
Jack clasped his hands, staring at them. “He arrived at the camp, insisting that he was my brother and had to see me. My commander knew Father, so he allowed me to meet with Ben in his tent.” Jack rose and moved to lean an arm against the fireplace mantle. “Ben was more than my closest friend. He was my brother.” Jack looked at me, and I saw the same turmoil in his eyes that I had felt for three years. “Not many people knew how much he truly loved you, Bess. He was good about hiding his feelings. We all are.” Jack ran a hand through his hair. “He extracted a promise from me, should anything happen to him I would do my utmost to see you away from a life of danger. I am ashamed to say that I have failed in my promise.” Jack knelt beside my chair and took my hand, pressing it tight. “I know that you carry guilt for what happened to Ben. It is why you work so hard for justice. Believe me when I say, no one understands that more than I, but he would not want you to blame yourself for what was never your fault. You know what his motto was.”
“No revenge, no regrets,” I whispered, blinking away the moisture building in my eyes.
“I believe it is time for us both to put the regrets of the past to rest. Ben loved you, and he would want—no, demand—that you accept the happiness that is being offered to you.” Jack gave a small laugh. “And you know how adamant he could be when something riled him.”
Ben, Jack, and Ben’s brother Henry used to tell me daily that I was high-handed in my demands, but on the rare occasion when any of them was angry, there was no way but theirs, and God save the fool who tried to argue.
“Ben wanted your freedom and happiness more than anything else in the world. So lay Ben to rest, and marry Andrew, if that is what you want. Live out the rest of your life free and happy, knowing that Ben’s blessing is upon you because it is, for now and for always.”
Inhaling a long breath, I knew that everything Jack said was the truth. I knew it deep in my soul. It was time for me to lay the past, the guilt, and the regrets to rest. It was time for me not just to exist, but to live.
&nbs
p;