“Scott…you have to understand that, at the time, I thought you had slept with Chelsea. I thought you’d cheated. I was hurting so bad, and he was hurting, and we both just wanted to forget…and…” I couldn’t talk anymore.
His head was down, so I couldn’t see his face. When he looked up at me, the hurt in his eyes was more than I could stand. When I started to walk toward him, he jumped up and held out his hand.
“What. Did. You. Do. With. Him?”
“Does it matter?”
He turned and knocked over the lamp on the end table. It crashed to the floor, causing me to jump back and scream.
“Yes! Yes, it fucking matters. You’re the one who brought it up, for Christ’s sake. I just made love to you all night long. Were you thinking of him while we fucked, Jessie?”
I started crying so hard that I could hardly talk. I began shaking my head frantically back and forth. “Scott…I love you…I only want to be with you.”
He walked up to me and grabbed me by the shoulders. “Tell me what happened, Jessie. Tell me!” he screamed.
“Um…he took off my clothes, and…and he touched me.”
His eyes filled with anger, and I felt my whole body shaking.
“Where? How?”
I closed my eyes and tried to erase the memory. “He…he kissed on my nipples…while he…while he…oh, Scott, please…I made him stop, and I felt so guilty afterward…even though I thought you had cheated on me. I made him stop!” I shouted out.
“Did he finger-fuck you, Jess? Did you come?”
I couldn’t move. I tried to open my mouth, but nothing would come out.
“Jessie!”
“Yes! Yes…he touched me with his fingers, but no…I didn’t come. I made him stop almost as soon as he’d started because I couldn’t do that to you. I love you, Scott. I love you so much, even when I thought you had hurt me. I still loved you too much to do that.”
Scott looked down at his hands holding on to my shoulders, and he quickly let go. He started to back up slowly. “He touched you while you were pregnant…with my child, Jessie. You let him suck on your nipples…while you were pregnant with my child.” He started to shake his head, and then he looked at me with disgust on his face.
“I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time! I would have never let me touch him if I had known, I swear on my life!” I cried hysterically.
Scott reached into his bag and grabbed a pair of jeans and then a T-shirt.
“Where…where are you going?” I asked in a panicked voice.
“I need to go for a walk. I need to clear my head.”
I started panicking even more. He’s going to leave me. “No…please don’t leave me. You have to believe me when I say that it meant nothing. I swear to God, it meant nothing. I just want to be with you.”
Scott turned and looked at me. “It all makes sense now—the way you were looking at him when I walked up, what you wrote to your dad on the postcard. It all makes sense.”
Wait…what is he saying? “No…” I whispered.
“Have you seen him since you told me you’re pregnant?”
“Yes. He was waiting for me at my cabana to make sure I was alright.”
“Did he ask you to stay with him?”
I shook my head. “He knows I love you and only you!”
“Oh yeah? Sure doesn’t seem like he cares if he’s fucking you with his fingers and sucking on your nipples, now does it?”
I felt like I was going to throw up. “Scott…we were both lost and hurting. I would have never…I didn’t…I stopped him. All I could think about was you and how wrong it felt, even when I thought you had cheated on me. Please, Scott. You have to know that I wish to God it had never happened.” I sucked in a breath of air as I sobbed. I tried to keep talking. “If I just hadn’t run away, none of this would have happened.”
The look in his eyes turned from anger to hurt. “You never even called…you just left. You left me to wonder where in the fuck you were and whom you were with. I was slowly dying with each day that passed.”
I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. “I’m so sorry! I’m so, so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I would never hurt you.”
I looked up and saw tears rolling down his face. I did hurt him though. I did the one thing I thought he was going to do to me.
He shook his head and walked past me. When he opened the sliding glass door, I jumped up and grabbed his arm.
“Wait! Where are you going, Scott? Please don’t walk away. Please don’t leave me.”
He slowly looked up at me, and the sadness in his eyes gutted me.
“I need to be alone for a while. I need to think, Jessica.”
I threw my hand up to my mouth and tried to keep the sick feeling I had down. “Let me come with you…please,” I begged.
“No. I just need some time to clear my head. I can’t even really think right now. Every time I look at you, I think of him touching the one thing that I value the most in this world. I think of you, pregnant, with him…” He stopped talking as he turned and walked out the sliding glass door.
I stood there, watching him head toward the beach. I quickly turned and ran into the bathroom where I began throwing up.
Scott had been gone for over thirty minutes. I walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. I found it stocked with bottled waters and every kind of beer I could think of. I grabbed a bottle of water and made my way out to the deck that was off of the main living room. The view was amazing. I looked up and down the beach, but I saw no signs of Scott. I quickly wiped away the tear I felt, and I tried my best to keep from crying.
I was starting to get cold, so I walked back in and grabbed a blanket. I headed back outside. I was so tired, and I fought to keep my eyes open. I was hungry also.
I placed my hand on my stomach, and for the first time, I talked to my child. “Daddy is upset with Mommy, and he has every right to be. I really screwed up…but I thought your daddy screwed up first.” I made a face and shook my head. “Not that it really matters who screwed up first. I love Daddy, and I know Daddy loves me and you, pumpkin. Mommy just needs to make him understand that I love him so much, and I would never, ever hurt him. Without your daddy, I’d be…I’d be…” I began crying again.
Jesus Christ. What is with me and all the crying?
“I’m so tired, pumpkin, so very tired.”
I leaned my head back and decided I was just going to rest my eyes for one minute. I didn’t want to miss Scott when he came back.
As I slipped deeper and deeper into sleep, I began dreaming.
Scott and I were walking in a field, holding hands and laughing. I heard someone calling out my name. I tried to ignore the voice, but Scott kept looking back over his shoulder. I tried to keep him walking straight.
Ignore it, Scott. Please ignore it.
Scott turned around and made a funny face. As I spun around, I saw Trey walking up. He reached out and began pulling me away from Scott. I started pushing Trey away, but he kept pulling me harder and harder.
Don’t let go of me, Scott! Please don’t let go of me.
Before I knew what was happening, Scott was fading away, and I stood there, crying out his name, as Trey just smiled. I turned to look at Trey, and he smiled bigger.
He said, “I won.”
I opened my eyes quickly and sat up. I was sweating, but I was so cold. I shook my head to clear out the dream. Shit.
I turned and looked at the clock in the living room. He’d been gone for almost an hour. I held my hand up to my mouth to keep from crying.
“Scott…please come back to me. Please…please come back to me,” I whispered.
I closed my eyes and silently began crying…again.
I wasn’t even sure how long I’d been walking for. I stopped and looked out at the ocean. I closed my eyes and thought about last night. I saw the look she’d had in her eyes. She loved me, and I knew she loved me. Her eyes had looked into mine so
many times last night, and they had been filled with nothing but love.
The baby…I can’t believe we’re going to have a baby.
I thought back to everything she had said.
I didn’t know I was pregnant at the time! I would have never let me touch him if I had known, I swear on my life!
I knew she had been hurting. I knew she’d thought I had cheated on her.
Can I forget that he touched her? Can I forget that she let him touch her? I had almost done the same thing in the bar, but I’d stopped myself.
“Fuck!” I yelled out. “Why? Motherfucker! Why did this happen? Why?” I put my hands on my legs and felt like I was going to get sick. I shook my head as I stood up and took a deep breath.
I loved her more than anyone on this Earth. I’ve always loved her, and I won’t let some fucking prick, who just walked into her life, take her away from me. She had come back to me last night, and there was no way I was letting her go. Ever.
As I looked one more time out over the vast ocean, a sense of calm washed over me. I turned to walk away, and that was when I saw the prick. He was walking up and stopped when he saw me.
My first instinct was to go up and pound the fuck out of him, but I slowly ran my hand through my hair and took a deep breath.
“Scott?” he asked.
I nodded.
He held out his hand. “Trey Walker.”
I just looked down at his hand.
He nodded and gave me a weak smile. “Where’s Jessie?”
“She’s not your concern. She’s mine, and so is the baby she’s carrying.” I balled up my fists and took a deep, slow breath.
He made a face, and his smile faded. “Alright. But just know that I was here for her when she needed a friend, and that’s what I was to her. I helped her for a little while, and she did the same thing for me.”
I let out a gruff laugh. “Yeah, you sure were a friend to her, weren’t you? Don’t know many people who suck on their friends’ nipples and finger-fuck them, dude.”
He looked shocked for a brief second. “She told you?”
“Yes, she told me, you fucker. That’s one of the things about our relationship—we’re honest with each other.”
He laughed. “Well, she certainly didn’t think you were honest when she thought you were fucking your ex…dude.”
Little motherfucker must want me to pound him in the ground.
“It might have taken her longer than I would have liked, but she figured it out, didn’t she?” I said.
His smile faded as he looked down toward the sand. He slowly nodded before looking back up at me. “I love her.”
“You just met her.” I felt the anger building inside me.
“I think I’ve loved her from the moment I laid eyes on her.” He let out a smile. “I only had one problem…she didn’t love me back. All she ever told me was how she just wanted to be friends. When I finally thought I had won her heart, she shut me out and told me she loved you…that she’d always loved…you. Then, when she was trying so hard to get to you the other night…hell, it about killed me to hear her tell you she loved you when she left you that voice mail. I think I knew then and there that I never stood a chance. But that didn’t mean I was just going to walk away. Then, she found out she was pregnant. When you walked up to us standing outside, she was telling me about how she’d loved you since she could remember. She was excited about telling you about the baby. Seeing the love in her eyes as she talked about you destroyed me, but I tried to be happy for her.”
I thought about walking up and seeing them. I remembered the look in her eyes. Was she talking about me when she had such love in her eyes?
“And then, right on cue, there you were, Prince Charming coming in to save her. I know she loves you, Scott. But I also know a part of her loves me as well, and I’ll always hold on to that hope.”
I wanted so badly to punch this guy. “Well, you’re going to be holding on to that hope for a very long time because I don’t ever intend on letting her go.”
He laughed and raised his eyebrows. “If she were mine, I’d be saying the same thing.”
“She’ll never be yours.”
He nodded and gave me a cocky smile before turning and walking away.
I could have sworn I heard him say, “We’ll see.”
I watched him for a few minutes before I spun around and quickly started running back to the house. The whole way there, I kept replaying everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours.
We just need to get off this fucking island and get back to Texas.
I stopped running and pulled out my cell phone and sent a text to Lark.
Scott: I’ll pay you double what I paid you before if you take Jessie and me back to Austin today.
Lark: Let me get rid of the girl I’ve got here, and we can leave in thirty minutes. Shit…give me an hour. She’s got strawberry-blonde hair. You know how I love blondes. Plus, she gives good head.
Scott: Dude, too much information. Forty-five minutes, and we’ll be up at the main house.
I started jogging. Shit, I really walked a long way. Jessie was probably going crazy. I’d been gone for over an hour. As I picked up my jog to a run again, I was more determined than ever to prove to her how much I loved her. I just needed to keep telling myself that she’d stopped him. She’d stopped him because she still loved me, even when she’d thought I had done the worst thing imaginable.
Our love is too strong to let some little pretty boy prick tear it apart.
As I walked up the stairs to the deck, I saw Jessie sleeping in one of the chairs. I smiled, looking at her all wrapped up in a blanket. Damn…she’s so beautiful with that blonde hair. There wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for her, and now…now, it wasn’t just her. It’s our unborn child also.
I dropped to my knees and gently pushed her hair back. She looked like an angel while she was sleeping so peacefully. My heart began hurting when I pictured her standing here, crying, as I’d walked away from her earlier.
“I’ll never leave you, baby. I promise, I’ll never leave you. It’s me and you, always and forever.”
She moved a little and opened her eyes. She smiled. “How much do you love me?”
I let out a small laugh and kissed her nose. “To the moon and back, then back to the moon, and back again.”
“That’s a lot,” she said with a giggle.
I gave her wink. “Yeah, it is.”
“Scott…”
I shook my head and put my finger up to her lips. “I love you, Jessie, and I’ll always love you. You’re my whole world, and there is no way I’m going to let this thing come between us. I want to make love to you, baby. I just want to hold you in my arms.”
She nodded and started to get up.
“Not here though. I want to get you home. I just want to leave and go home.”
She bit down on her lower lip. “Me, too,” she whispered.
“Lark has got some girl with him, but he should be ready in about forty-five minutes or so,” I said as I rolled my eyes.
“Okay. Can we just sit here for a bit? Will you just hold me for a while, Scott?”
I stood, and she started to slide over. I crawled into the chair next to her. I pulled her close to me and silently thanked God for bringing us back together.
“Scott?”
“Yeah, baby?”
She turned and looked at me, tears filling her eyes. “I love you. I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
My heart broke in two. The last thing I wanted was for her to be stressed or worried, especially with her being pregnant. I kissed her forehead and pulled her closer to me.
“I love you, too, baby, and I’m sorry for getting angry earlier. I need to be honest with you as well, baby.”
She looked up at me, and I saw the fear in her eyes.
“At the bar one night, I kissed another girl, and I touched her breasts when I was drunk, but that was all I did. I swear to you…all I could see
was your face, baby, and I couldn’t do it.”
She swallowed and gave me a weak smile. “Can we just forget that the last five weeks ever happened?”
I kissed her forehead. “Let’s just get home and share our good news with everyone, okay?”
She gave me a weak smile and nodded as she snuggled in closer to me. As I looked out over the ocean, I thought about Trey and what he’d said. I was pretty sure that was not going to be the last time I ever saw him.
As we got closer to Austin, I looked down at a sleeping Jessie in my arms.
Lark had been on the radio with someone, talking about a mission or something. When I realized he was talking about a girl and not his job, I rolled my eyes. He glanced back at me and winked. I couldn’t help but laugh. I’d met Lark in college, and we had quickly become friends. I swore that we’d done everything together. Lark’s father was in the Secret Service, and Lark seemed to have followed in his footprints. Whatever Lark did for a living, it sure as hell was a secret.
I woke Jessie up when Lark said we were about fifteen minutes out.
“Are we stopping for fuel again?” Jessie asked.
“Nah, we’re fixin’ to land in Austin, baby.”
Her eyes lit up, and she smiled so big that it caused me to laugh.
“Glad to be almost home?” I asked.
She nodded her head and put her hand on her stomach. “I’ll be glad to land, too. I feel sick.”
Lark snapped his head around and looked at Jessie. “There’s a puke bag, doll, right there if ya need it,” he said with a wink.
By the time we landed and made it through customs and all that bullshit, Jessie was practically running to the restroom. I felt so bad. I watched her as she almost plowed over a poor old lady.
Lark came walking up and slapped me on the back. “Thanks for the mini vacation, dude,” he said with a grin.
“Pesh, I paid you good enough for that quick little trip.”
His crooked smiled spread across his face, and he nodded his head. “Yeah, ya did. Boss man said anytime you need the use of the helicopter again, just let him know.” Lark threw his head back and laughed.