Oh yeah, I’m gonna make sure my wife gets that warm and happy fucked feeling back tonight…and more than once.
“I’m about to lose my goddamn mind, Drake,” I said as I paced back and forth.
Christmas was in three days, and no one had heard from Jessie.
“Scott, I came over to tell you that I got a postcard from her today.”
I stopped dead in my tracks. “What? Where is she? Is she okay? Who’s she with? Did she say when she was coming home?”
Drake held up his hands and started to shake his head. “Scott…settle down. I know you want to know the answers to all those questions, so here you go.” He reached out and handed me a postcard.
I took it from his hand.
He said, “Read it for yourself. She pretty much just says that she’s fine.”
My heart skipped a beat when I recognized her handwriting. I looked at where it was stamped. Florida? She’s in Florida! I tried to keep the tears from falling as I began to read what she had written.
I slowly sat down on the sofa as I let the postcard fall out of my hand.
I’ve met a friend. He’s been a real support for me. He’s helping me get over Scott.
Oh my god, she’s met someone else. She’s with another man.
Drake sat down next to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Now, Scott, don’t go jumping to conclusions. She said he was a friend, that’s all.”
“Oh god, she’s with another man. She left me, and she’s with another man in God knows where.” I stood and started pacing.
My phone began ringing, and when I pulled it out of my pocket, I saw that it was Chelsea. She’d been calling for the last week.
Fucking bitch. I hate you!
I threw my phone as hard as I could against the wall. I looked around for something else to throw, and I saw a picture of Jessie and me. I walked over, picked it up, and threw it. I didn’t know what was happening, but I just snapped and started throwing everything I could get my hands on.
The next thing I knew, Drake and Aaron were both holding me back, and I felt my knees slowly giving out.
I lost her. I lost the only girl I’ve ever truly loved, and I never even had the chance to fight for her.
Oh god…I can’t live without Jessie.
I sat there in the middle of my living room…crying…as Drake and Aaron tried to tell me it was okay.
“It isn’t okay. It’ll never be okay. I lost her, and she’s moved on with someone else.”
Aaron bent down and hit me on the arm. “Damn it, Scott. Don’t…don’t give up like this. She’s gonna call Dad in three days. He can tell her everything, and she’ll be on the first flight back. I promise you.”
I felt tears falling down my face, but I didn’t even care. I just needed a drink. I needed to forget about Jessica Rhodes…like she’d forgotten about me.
He’s helping me get over Scott.
“Hey, Scott. Fancy meeting you here at the Wild Coyote. What are you drinking?”
I slowly looked up and saw Karen standing there. I couldn’t even remember her last name. She had been a friend of Jessie’s in high school.
“Why are you here on Christmas Eve, Karen? Shouldn’t you be at home with your family?” I asked as I looked her body up and down.
She certainly looks good. Not as good as Jessie, but who the fuck cares? Jessie has moved on with a friend. She doesn’t want to be found. Maybe they’ve been friends this whole time, and that’s why she hasn’t come home.
Karen sat down next to me and asked for a Bud Light as she nudged me with her shoulder. “I live in New Orleans now, but I’m home, visiting my parents. They were driving me crazy, so I came down here for a couple of beers,” she said with a wink.
I looked down at the cream corset-type shirt she was wearing. Her breasts looked amazing in it. I slowly moved my drunk eyes up and looked at her lips. The moment she licked them, I put my hand behind her neck and pulled her closer to me.
“What the hell are you doing, Karen?”
She let out a laugh. “Isn’t it obvious, Scott? I came out for a little bit of fun. When I walked in and saw you sitting here, I thought I’d come check you out and see if you’re still single. I heard about you and Chelsea.”
I watched as she slowly took her left leg off her right. She spread her legs open before crossing her right leg over her left.
I didn’t feel a fucking thing. Here was this beautiful woman flirting with me with her fucking tits just staring at me, and I didn’t feel shit.
“You married, Karen?”
She shook her head and smiled. I grabbed her hand and led her out to the dance floor. I pulled her to me and pressed our bodies close to each other. She started moving her hands up and down my back before she placed them on my ass and pulled me even closer to her. She looked up at me and smiled. I began to feel my dick coming to life.
She’s with another man. She’s forgotten about me.
I couldn’t pull my eyes from Karen’s lips. She was biting down on her lower lip so hard that I swore it was turning white. I backed her up into a corner that was fairly dark. I put my hand behind her neck and pulled her up for a kiss. The moment our lips touched, she let out a long, soft moan. I felt her hand on mine, and she moved it up her skirt.
“Touch me, Scott…oh god…please touch me.”
I quickly stopped my hand and moved it out from under her skirt. Instead, I started to feel her breasts. As badly as I wanted to touch her, it felt so wrong.
She threw her head back and whispered, “Yes. I’m so wet for you, baby. I’ve always wanted to be fucked by you.” She snapped her head straight and looked at me. “Fuck me, Scott. Right here…in your truck…in the restroom…I don’t care. I just want you to fuck me hard from behind.”
For one brief moment, I wanted to pick her up and take her to the restroom to do just that. I could fuck her so hard and fast that I would surely be able to forget about Jessie…at least for a little while.
“Scott…” She reached her hand over and squeezed my dick. “Take me. I’m yours for tonight, Scott.”
I closed my eyes, and all I could see was Jessie’s smiling face. No. I won’t do this. I can’t do this. I love Jessie. I’ll always love Jessie.
I pulled my hand away from her and took a few steps back. “Um…I’m sorry, Karen. I’m in love with someone else, and I won’t be unfaithful to her, no matter what.”
Karen’s face dropped. “What? You’re gonna feel me up and then tell me you’re in love with someone else? What would she think if she knew you were about to fuck me?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Probably nothing since she’s fucking someone to forget about me.” I turned and walked away.
I saw Jeff and Gunner walking in with Josh following close behind. I smiled, knowing they were only here to check up on me.
Thank God I came to my senses with Karen before they walked in and saw us.
I walked up and shook Josh’s hand. “Dude, what in the hell are you doing in Mason?” I asked.
Josh gave me a quick hug. “Heather and I decided to take Gunner’s offer to stay with him and Ellie, so we could celebrate Christmas morning with the Mathews.”
I smiled as I nodded. Gunner and Ellie had invited me to stay with them, but I’d turned them down.
“Scott, are you sure you don’t want to stay with us tonight? Ellie and Heather are in a baking mood, and I swear that we have enough baked goods to feed a small army,” Gunner said with a laugh.
I shook my head. “I appreciate it, Gunner, but I think I’ll just head home and go to bed. I was planning on asking Jessie to marry me on Christmas Eve at my parents’ anniversary party tonight, so I kind of just want to be alone.”
Jeff hit me on the back and smiled. “Come on, dude. Let’s settle up your bill, and I’ll drive you home.”
“Did you get a new phone yet?” Gunner asked as we walked out to the parking lot.
“Yeah, I got it, but I haven’t turned it on. I’m
not in any real rush to use it.”
“I am. I’ve been getting a ton of calls about a horse you wanted. I guess you gave them my number, Scott, and I knew nothing about it,” Jeff said.
“Damn…sorry, Jeff. It’s just…I can’t think about anything. I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. She’s gone, and she’s using some fucker she met to forget about me.”
Gunner let out a long sigh. “Scott, you don’t know that. She’s gonna call Drake tomorrow, and then we can get this whole damn thing settled. Just hang tight, dude. One more day is all you’ve got to wait, and then Jessie will know the truth.”
I shook my head. It felt like I had a hundred pounds sitting on my chest. I just needed to get home and go to bed. I felt so tired for some reason.
I held my hand out to shake Josh’s and then Gunner’s hands. “Thanks, guys. Thanks for having my back. I really do appreciate each of you and your friendship. I don’t know how I would have done this if I hadn’t had your support.”
“Always, Scott. We’re always here for you,” Josh said.
Gunner told Jeff he would follow him to my house since Jeff was driving my truck for me.
As I made my way to the passenger side of my truck, I felt sick to my stomach. It didn’t even matter that she was calling home tomorrow. In my heart, I felt like she was already gone. She’d met someone else.
He’s helping me get over Scott.
“Scott, she’s gonna call. She wouldn’t let her dad down by not calling, and I know she still loves you. It’s almost over, dude. It’s almost over,” Jeff said with a weak smile.
I leaned my head back against the headrest and tried to smile. “I hope you’re right, but I have this sick feeling that everyone is wrong. Jessie has spent the last five weeks moving on. I feel her in my heart, but she’s slowly fading away.”
I looked over toward Jeff. He was just staring at me. He turned and started the truck before pulling out of the lot to take me home.
I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath as I pictured her in the arms of another man.
Jessie…please come back to me, baby.
Trey and I had been dancing for the last five songs, and now, we were dancing to Britney Spears’s song, “3.” The more his hands moved across my body, the more I yearned for Scott. I knew Trey wanted to take our friendship to another level, and I was starting to wish I was going home tomorrow instead of on New Year’s Eve.
“Oh god, Jessie…your body drives me crazy,” Trey said as he pushed his erection into my stomach.
The twists and turns of emotions were driving me crazy. I enjoyed Trey’s friendship so much, and he’d helped me so much the last few weeks.
Do I want more than friendship with him? No…at least, not now anyway.
Everything was so raw, and the hurt in my heart was still so strong. The last thing I wanted or needed was to fall for someone else. Plus, I was still in love with Scott…even though I tried to fight that feeling with everything I had.
“Don’t Let Me Be Lonely” by The Band Perry began playing. Trey pulled me closer to him, and we began to slow dance. My head was spinning, and I felt so sick to my stomach.
“Trey, I think this is my last dance. I’m not feeling very well, and I just really need to rest.”
He reached his hand up and ran his knuckles down the side of my face. When he touched me, I couldn’t deny that I felt something. It was nothing though compared to when Scott had touched me…or smiled at me…or told me how much he loved me.
Scott…why did you have to hurt me again?
“Smile, my love. I hate it when you have such a sad look in your eyes,” Trey said with that sweet smile of his.
I looked into his green eyes, and I couldn’t believe his fiancée could ever walk away from such an amazing man. I returned a weak smile. “I’m just not feeling well.”
“Is it your stomach again? Maybe you’re eating something here that doesn’t agree with you.”
I shrugged my shoulders. I knew it was most likely just nerves. I had been such a nervous wreck and so stressed out that I hadn’t even had my period in two months.
Trey leaned down and lightly kissed my lips. I wanted so badly to open myself up to him more. I just wanted to be held in someone’s arms tonight. But what I wanted most was to be in Scott’s arms.
“Jessie, don’t spend Christmas Eve alone. Stay with me tonight. Please. I know you’re leaving in a few days to be home by the New Year, but please…let’s just spend this next week together.”
I let out a small laugh. “Trey, we’ve pretty much spent every waking moment together. I don’t think we could spend any more time together.”
He shook his head and kissed my lips again. This time, he gently bit down on my lower lip and pulled it with his teeth. I couldn’t control myself, and I let a small moan escape from my lips.
“Trey.”
“I don’t mean, hang out like friends, Jessie. I want to be with you. I want to know how you feel and what you taste like. I want to touch every inch of your body and cover you with kisses.”
Oh god…I want that, too.
But I want it from Scott. Only from Scott.
“Once we leave this island, if you tell me that this is it and there could never be anything else, I promise you that I will totally respect that. It’s just…I’ve never felt this way with anyone…not even with Renee. I was going to marry her, and I never wanted her like I want you right now.”
A part of me wanted to go back to his cabana. I could just close my eyes and dream I was with Scott, but I’d never hurt Trey that way.
I placed my hand on his chest and smiled at him. “Trey, I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t feel a connection to you because I do. I feel it when we touch and when we kiss, but—”
He started shaking his head. “No…don’t say but, Jessie.”
I took a deep breath in and quickly blew it out. “But it’s not fair to be with you when I’m still in love with Scott. I can’t change what my heart feels, and yes, I know, he hurt me. Please don’t keep reminding me.”
“I’m sorry, Jessie, but he did hurt you, and that bastard doesn’t deserve your love.”
“Trey, I keep having this dream. It’s about Scott and a little girl, and she keeps telling me that I didn’t even give him a chance to talk to me before I ran away. She told me I killed him.”
Trey rolled his eyes and let out a sharp breath as he shook his head. “A dream? That’s what has you so upset? Jesus Christ, Jessie. It’s a damn dream that doesn’t mean anything. You didn’t kill the asshole.”
“I haven’t even talked to my father in over a month. I gave the lady I met at lunch one day a postcard I’d bought in Texas to mail to my father. I’m hiding from my own family and friends, but mostly, I’m hiding from Scott. I have to keep asking myself why. Why am I so afraid to talk to or see him?”
“Because you know the moment you see him, you’ll forgive him, Jess. You’ll fall right back into his arms, just waiting for the next time he hurts you.”
I shook my head and turned to walk off the dance floor. I went back to our table and had to put my hand up to my mouth. Oh god, please don’t let me get sick here. Shit!
I grabbed my purse and headed for the door. I need fresh air. I can’t breathe. As soon as I got outside, I took a deep breath and felt the cool, crisp air hit my lungs. Then, I noticed the wind. Holy shit. It was so windy that it almost knocked me over. I felt dizzy, and I tried to get my balance when I felt Trey grab my arm.
“Jessie, don’t run away from me like you have with everyone else.”
I spun around and looked at him. The anger began building, and all I wanted was my father right now. I need to get home.
“How can you stand there and say that to me of all people? Did you not run away with your best friend and come here after Renee left you at the altar? You’re not going home because you don’t want to face everyone asking you what happened, right? How dare you say that to me.”
“J
essie, you deserve to be loved and taken care of. I can do that. I would never hurt you. You would never have to run away from me.”
Oh god. I never even gave Scott a chance to talk to me before I just ran away from him. What am I afraid of? Finding out the truth? What if I was wrong all along?
Then, something hit me like a brick wall.
“What if it wasn’t him?”
Trey just looked at me. “What? Who in the hell else could it have been, Jessie? You’re talking crazy.”
“No…I’ve been fighting this sick feeling in my stomach since I got on that plane. It was like…like I was making one of the worst mistakes of my life. There’s a reason my love for him is so strong still.” I shook my head. “I need to get back to my cabana.”
As I started practically running, Trey ran up and grabbed me.
“Jessie! Listen to yourself. You didn’t imagine seeing him screwing his ex.”
I closed my eyes and thought back to the night I’d been trying to push out of my memory for the last month and a half. I opened them quickly and looked at Trey. “No…I don’t think it was him. The more I think about the voice calling out after me…the more I realize that it wasn’t Scott’s. I know it wasn’t Scott.” My heart started pounding. “I’m going to call him.”
Trey threw his head back, and I knew he was upset.
“Fine. Let me walk with you then since it’s dark.”
I nodded and began to run back to the cabana. The wind was getting worse, and it was starting to sprinkle now. Just before we got to the door, a bolt of lightning struck somewhere close by. I screamed, and Trey took a hold of me.
“Holy shit! That was close. Is there a damn tropical storm coming in this late in the year?”
The wind was blowing so hard that chairs were flying down the beach.
Where in the hell did this storm come from?
I ran into my cabana and went straight to the phone. I picked it up and started telling the operator that I wanted to make a call to the U.S. I reached into my purse for the calling card I had bought.
“Jessie, please don’t do this right now. It’s Christmas Eve.”