Then, she breaks the kiss. I see her cheeks are flushed, her lips swollen.
She runs the tips of her fingers across my overgrown stubble. “I can’t believe we’re making out on the beach.”
“Too much too soon?”
She stares into my eyes and shakes her head. “No.”
“Good, because I plan on kissing you anytime I get the opportunity.”
I want her, so fucking much. And it’s not just the kissing even though that rocks. It’s more than that. It’s her. I want to be around her, to talk to her, to learn everything I can about her.
I have a feeling, when it comes to Evie, nothing will ever be enough. I’ll always want more, need more.
“So, what do you want to do for the rest of the day?” I ask, threading my fingers through her hair. “Aside from making out.”
That earns me a giggle.
“I don’t mind.” She lifts her shoulders, looking right at me.
No one has ever looked at me like Evie does. It’s like she really sees me. And that makes me feel like a fucking king.
“So long as I’m with you, I’m good,” she says.
My heart skips over.
“The feeling is totally fucking mutual, babe.”
And it really is.
Two days, and I’m already crazy about her.
She’s hit me like a bulldozer. And I don’t even care. If anything, I’m happy about it because I have her, and nothing has ever felt better, or more right.
“Evie.”
The sound of Adam’s deep voice behind me has the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
Slowly turning around from the coffee machine I was cleaning, I face him.
He looks just as imposing in here as the last time I saw him, but at least he doesn’t look like he’s here to yell at me again. Well, that’s what I’m hoping.
Honestly, I’m surprised to see him here. I haven’t seen him since our talk a week ago. I know he’s been avoiding me. I thought I was the last person on earth that he would want to see right now.
But here he is.
Also, I was pretty sure I’d locked the door when I turned the Closed sign. Apparently not.
“We’re closed,” I say. I don’t know why I said that…unless he is actually here for coffee.
“Yeah, I got that from the Closed sign.” A small smile touches the corner of his lips.
A warm glow erupts in my chest. God, I’ve missed his smile.
“I’m not here for coffee.”
“What are you here for?” I put the cloth in my hand down on the counter.
“We need to talk.”
“About?” I’m probably being a little stern. I just don’t want a rehash of the other day. I know I deserve it, deserve whatever he has to fire at me, but I’ve only just recovered from our last encounter.
Well, recovered might be overstating it, but last night was the first night since our talk that I didn’t cry myself to sleep. I don’t want to start again.
He looks over his shoulder at the door, as though he’s expecting someone to come in, and then he looks back to me. “Not here.”
I cross my arms over my chest. I don’t miss his eyes going to my boobs as they get pushed up. Oddly, it brings me a sense of self-satisfaction. He might hate me, but he still likes my boobs.
God, get a grip, Evie.
“Why not? There’s only me here, and I don’t see a problem with us talking—unless you plan on yelling at me again, because that I could do without.”
His eyes flicker to mine. “It’s not me yelling that I’m worried about.”
“Me?” I let out a laugh. “Why would I yell? I’ve got nothing to yell about—unless you scratched my car, which I would be kinda pissed about—”
“We’re still married.”
My brain freezes.
“I’m sorry, what?” I let out an awkward-sounding laugh. “For a second there, I thought you said that we’re…still married.”
“I did. And we are.”
“I-I…what?” All I can do is blankly stare at him. “We’re married? I don’t understand.”
“I never filed the annulment papers that you so kindly left for me. So, yeah, that means we’re technically still married. I thought you should know.”
It’s right then when my head explodes.
“You thought I should know? We-we’re married. We’ve been married for the last ten years. Jesus Christ! I can’t…even…” I’m struggling to make sense as well as breathe.
For the last ten years, I’ve believed my marriage never existed in the eyes of the law even though it meant everything to me. And now, I’m hearing that’s not the case at all.
We’re still married.
My body and brain are jumping between confusion to elation to betrayal, which is funny coming from me because I betrayed him in the worst possible way.
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I take some deep breaths.
After a long moment, I look up at him. “You never filed the annulment papers?”
He slowly shakes his head, eyes fixed on me.
“Why would you not do that?” My words come out on a whisper of hope.
Hope for what? That he still loves me?
I almost smack myself in the face for that one.
Adam shrugs.
That sets me off again.
“Jesus, Adam! I’m really confused here! I know I left you, and I did a horrible shitty thing by doing so, but…hell! I’ve—we’ve been married all this time, and I didn’t know. There’s just something fundamentally wrong with that. What if”—I’m mentally searching around for something to throw at him—“I’d gotten married to someone else?” I have to stop myself from laughing at that one. I’ve been on exactly one date in the last ten years, so a second marriage wasn’t exactly on the cards, but that’s beside the point. And for some reason, right now, I want a reason to be mad at him. “You would have made me a freaking bigamist!”
“Look, I’m sorry—”
“You’re sorry? Well, that’s okay then!” I throw my hands up. “How could you have done this?”
I see fire light behind his eyes.
His palms slam down on the counter, and he leans close to me. “Apparently, as easy as you fucking leaving me without a word.”
My eyes widen. “You did this for revenge?” My words come out on a gasp.
I see a muscle pop in his jaw as he works it.
“Nice. Good to know what you think of me, Evie. No, it wasn’t for fucking revenge. I was hurt and in denial that you’d left me. I searched everywhere for you, hoping that you’d come back to me. So, filing those papers was the last thing on my mind. By the time I realized what I’d done, the time had lapsed to allow me to file. I had no fucking clue where you were, so it’s not like I could call you up and let you know, was it?”
He’s got me there. I don’t know what to say to that.
I look at the floor, shifting on my feet, feeling instantly shitty again. I wrap my arms around myself. “I guess…that makes sense.”
He lets out a humorless laugh. Then, I see his hands lift from the counter. By the time I look up, he’s on his way to the door.
“You’re leaving?” I hear the panic in my voice. I really hope he didn’t.
Stopping, he turns back to me. He looks suddenly weary.
My heart aches for him. Well, everything in me aches for him.
He rubs his forehead with his hand. “I came to tell you about the mistake I’d made. I needed to be honest with you.” Those words feel so incredibly pointed, and that’s probably because they are. “I’ve done that. Now, I’m going home.”
“You don’t think we need to talk about this? Discuss what we’re going to do.”
“Yeah, we probably do. But not right now. Right now, I just want to have a drink and go to fucking bed.” He moves the distance back between us, pulling something from his inside jacket pocket. “My cell and office numbers.” He places a business card on the cou
nter and slides it toward me. “Call me tomorrow, and we can talk.”
Then, he’s gone.
And I’m still married.
Adam and I are still married.
Holy. Shit.
I lift the card from the counter, looking down at it.
ADAM GUNNER
CEO, GUNNER ENTERTAINMENT
I already knew he worked for the studio.
One time, about five years ago, I looked up his profile on Facebook, using Casey’s profile. I couldn’t see much as he had it set to private, but I did see his work info, showing that he worked for the studio. I remember how sad I felt at the time. I knew how much he hadn’t wanted to be a part of that world. I had been his reason to stay away, and my leaving had sent him straight back.
I had always hoped that he would fight back, stay away.
But he didn’t.
And I was to blame for that.
The choice I made was to blame for that.
But we weren’t supposed to still be married.
Honestly, I don’t know how to feel about that.
We’re still bound by marriage.
I guess I’m terrified and…thrilled.
I’m still Evie Gunner.
Well, legally anyway. But in my heart, I always have been. It’s why I could never move on.
But I know I’m no longer in Adam’s heart. He let me go years ago.
I guess it’s time for me to let him go now.
I’m so done for.
The way I feel about Adam, after knowing him for such a short amount of time, can’t be good for me. I mean, it feels good, but it’s definitely dangerous.
We’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now, and I’m smitten, totally smitten. I’m a smitten kitten. And clearly a massive geek.
We’re at the beach. It’s early morning, and I have to be at work in a few hours. But we’re all here this morning, surfing at the beach just outside Adam’s house. Max is out there with Grady, Base, Tad, and Paige. Adam and I quit surfing a while ago. We’re sitting up on my rock, and I’m sketching a picture of them all surfing.
Adam is here, with me. He’s wrapped around me from behind, his chin resting on my shoulder, while he watches me draw.
His lips skim over my shoulder, and his teeth graze my skin, making me shiver. His fingers trace over the skin on my stomach where they’ve made their way under the hem of my tank top.
We haven’t done anything more than kiss.
He knows I’m a virgin. I told him that on our fourth date. We were making out, and it was getting pretty heavy. I didn’t want to lead him on, to think he’d be getting sex, which I wasn’t ready to give to him, so I was honest with him. And he was really cool with it. He told me he’d wait for when I was ready. I don’t know when that will be, but trust me¸ if I’m going to lose my virginity to anyone, it will be with Adam.
But my inexperience in that department does worry me a little because I know Adam is very experienced. He hasn’t told me that, but I just get the feeling that he has been around the block a few times. I’m not surprised. Looking like Adam does, he could have his pick of girls. So, knowing he’s choosing to spend his time with me, sans sex, makes me feel pretty damn special.
And seeing the way Max is with girls also leads me to believe that, prior to me, that was how Adam was spending his time. In the last few weeks, I’ve seen Max with four different girls, each one exiting his bedroom.
But, man-whore aside, I like Max. He’s cool, and even though I’ve come in and invaded his and Adam’s time here together, he has had no issue with it.
I’m not precious when it comes to my virginity. Just right now doesn’t feel like the right time. I want to spend more time with Adam, get to know him more, before I go all the way with him. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to do other stuff with him. This past week especially, all I’ve been able to think about is taking things a little, or maybe a lot, further.
And the way he’s touching me right now with the heat of his breath on my skin has me tingling in all the right places, making me want his mouth in other places than just my shoulder.
Putting my pencil down on my paper, I lift my hand to his face, scratching my nails over his scruff, until I’m cupping his cheek. I tilt his eyes up to mine.
He smiles at me, and my heart clenches, as do a few other parts of my anatomy.
The way I feel about him…I’ve never felt anything like it before. In a short space of time, he’s become beyond important to me, and I’m struggling to remember my life before him.
But I do remember that it was gray. Now, with him in it, it’s filled with color, all varying shades of brightness illuminating my days.
I press my lips to his, giving him a soft kiss.
“So, I’ve been thinking…”
“About?” he murmurs over my lips, his eyes closed.
“Well…I’m still not ready to have sex, but…I was thinking that maybe…we could do, you know, other stuff.”
I feel his body stiffen, and his eyes open to meet mine. “Define other stuff.”
A blush creeps onto my cheeks. I feel a little embarrassed, talking about this. To be honest, I can’t believe I brought it up.
“I don’t know…just…all I do know is, when you kiss me…I want more.”
“More,” he echoes.
“Mmhmm…more.” My gaze flickers down.
“When? I mean, there’s no rush—”
“We could…now.” I bite my lip, suddenly feeling a little more than nervous.
Adam is up on his feet before I even get a chance to blink.
“Um, where are you going?” I stare up at him.
“You said now. And, well, I’m not doing more with you now, on this rock, with an audience.” He gestures out to the surf. “I thought we could go back to the house. Max will be out here surfing for hours, so we’ll have the place to ourselves.”
A thrill runs through me. “Okay.” I shove my sketchpad and pencil in my bag.
Adam climbs down the rock. I follow, loving the feel of his hands on my waist as he helps me down the last part. His hand grazes my ass.
“Copping a feel?” I smile.
“Totally.” He grins at me.
Linking his fingers through mine, he leads me on the short walk to the beach house.
By the time we reach the house, my body is a riot of nerves.
We’ve just gotten through the door when Adam has me backed up against it, his mouth on mine.
My bag drops to the floor. My hands go to his hair.
God, he smells amazing, like the ocean. I can taste the salt on his lips, and it just fuels me, making me want him even more.
This kiss is so different, compared to our others. There’s a need and urgency that hasn’t been there before, and I love that he wants me so badly.
His hands find my ass, and he lifts me. I wrap my legs around his waist.
He carries me upstairs to his bedroom.
It’s not the first time I’ve been in here, but somehow, this feels different…because things will be different. We might not be about to have sex, but we’re going to reach a whole new level of intimacy.
He lays me down on the bed, coming down with me. Between my legs, his hips press to mine.
Holy hardness. I can feel how much he wants me, and from the feel of this thing, it’s a lot.
He’s still kissing me, less ragged but still needy. His fingers find the hem of my top.
“How far do you want to go with this?” he asks, sounding breathless. “What is more? Are we talking second or third base here? I need to know because I don’t want to make a mistake with you, and screw this up.”
I press my hand to his cheek. “You could never make a mistake. And, honestly…I’ve never…” I bite my lip, lowering my eyes. I slide my hand from his face. “I’ve never done anything but kiss before, so I don’t know. And I know how lame that makes me sound.”
His fingers go under my chin, bringing my gaze back to hi
s. I stare into his eyes, and the look in his is intense.
“It doesn’t make you lame, babe. It makes you mine.”
He takes my mouth again, kissing me as intensely as the look was in his eyes.
His tongue seeks entrance, so I part my lips. He groans into my mouth, and I feel it low in my belly.
Taking my face in his hands, he starts to press soft kisses over my lips. “Evie…have you ever made yourself come?”
“Oh my God!” I blush. Pushing away, I turn my face from him.
“Hey…don’t be embarrassed.” His hand forces my face back to his, but I still can’t look at him. “It’s me, Evie. Just you and me here, and there isn’t anything you can’t tell me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I breathe out, face still flaming. I run my hand through my hair, feeling all kinds of awkward. “And, to answer your question…no, I haven’t ever done that…to myself.”
He’s silent for so long that I have to look at him, worried that he’s disgusted with me because I’m sure most girls would have done that by now.
But he doesn’t look disgusted. He looks…well, he looks like he wants to devour me. I take that to be a good thing.
“You’ve never come?” he asks, his voice sounding rough.
I shake my head.
He groans. Those intense eyes of his darken further.
He runs his thumb over my lower lip, which I’m apparently biting again, and frees it from my teeth.
“Do you want me to make you come?” His voice is husky, and as sexy as hell.
I squeak, and his lips lift into a heartbreaking smile, leaving me spinning.
My stomach is practically doing backflips.
“I guess…yes. I mean, only if you want to.”
He dips his head to mine. “Oh, I want to. I want nothing more.”
He brushes his lips over mine, and I feel his fingertips run along the sliver of exposed skin between my top and shorts.
“But you have to tell me to stop if you don’t feel comfortable.”
“I will,” I breathe.
His hand slips under my tank top. Moving up my stomach, he reaches my breast. Then, he’s cupping it over my bikini top.
I’m breathless, and I can’t imagine that I’ll be telling him to stop anytime soon.
His hand feels so very good there. His finger is now tracing a path around my erect nipple through the fabric of my bikini.