Chapter 5
Double Sided Trouble
Sunday arrived to find Matthew entering the lounge to find Dawn on her hands and knees in the corner of the room. She was trying to glue the double-headed Llama back together as a surprise for him. So his unannounced entrance caught her completely off guard, with nothing to say or do. She wanted to hide what she had started, but that was totally out of the question. She rubbed a tickle on the end of her nose with the sleeve of the smock she was wearing, leaving a large white smudge right on its tip. The task she had tried to undertake had turned out to be harder and longer that she had thought. Added to this, it had also turned out to be a very messy and dirty. The smock was covered with white dust from the broken pieces of the statue, plus the odd globule, or to be more precise completely smeared all over with glue.
Matthew was the first to speak asking "What she was doing."
"Can’t you see," she replied to him sarcastically.
"I’m repairing your precious little statue for you?"
Matthew laughed "If you had not been playing around, you would not have bumped your head and smashed it."
Then pointing at the half completed statue on the carpet he laughed again and told her "It looks a little different to how I remembered seeing it."
"What’s that hump in the middle," he laughed again as he awaited her answer. Dawn was slow in answering telling him that,
"I could not remember where everything went."
"I can see that," said Matthew once more laughing but this time under his breath not wanting to hurt her feeling too much.
He left her in the middle of a big decision she had a large piece in her hand and was trying to work out which end to stick it. Unfortunately she was not aware that Matthew had included a few pieces of statue that he had found in the garden shed. At the time it had occurred to him that it might keep somebody busy for a couple of days, and anyway he was dying to see what she made of it, if and when she managed to complete the task.
Walking in to the kitchen he managed to bump in to Janice who was carrying a plate of toast towards the table. Unfortunately two pieces fell on to the floor landing with the buttered side down on to the tiles.
"I could have bet you that would happen," said Matthew, to the annoyance of Janice.
"What," she asking him to repeat what he had just said. Matthew went on to explain that it did not matter whenever you dropped the toast, it would always land with the buttered face down. Janice smiled at him starting to see the funny side of the incident that had just happened. She then added that it was a little like when you are in the shower, why is it that the conditioner always runs out before the shampoo. Both ended up laughing at each other as Matthew leaned over and kissed her on the cheek and to bid her good morning. It was only when she bent down to pick the toast up, that he noticed that she was wearing the scantiest baby doll nightdress he had ever seen. Wow! That’s a stunner, Matthew remarked referring to the nightdress. Janice looked up at him and said that she thought he had not noticed things like that lately. She went on to tell him off for not visiting her bedroom during the night, and that she had laid awake waiting for him. Matthew was quick to reply that he could not see why she bothered to wear anything under the nightdress, as it did not cover much. He said to her you don’t need an imagination looking at something like that when it is all laid out in front of you. He finished by saying that anyway they had to behave as Dawn was in the next room and it would not be fair on her. Since when did you care who was in the next room? I can remember a time when we were both in the same room, and that did not stop you one little bit. Anyway she said I thought after that fiasco the other night with Dawn that you preferred me. After all you said of the incident that it was not what it seemed and looked worse than it really was. Well last night you could have proved it to me couldn’t you she said with a wink and a smile.
Been in the lounge lately he asked trying to change the subject, looks like a pottery school is in progress, so if I were you I’d keep well clear. Janice answered him by explaining that Dawn had got up early to stick it all back together in an effort to surprise him. However, it had turned out to be a much bigger job than she had first thought. She also added that at least she had all of her clothes on, so she would not catch a cold, and as she was not playing about it was a good bet that she would also not bump her head again. After a cup of coffee and some toast, they both went in to the lounge to see if she was making progress. Both could not help starting to giggle at the sight that greeted them on the lounge room carpet. That does not look a bit like the one I had Dawn mine only had two heads, one at each end, this thing has three and one of them is in the middle. Poor Dawn finally had to admit that she was struggling and mainly because she did not have a picture to follow, even a jigsaw has a picture on the lid. As Matthew and Janice left the room he could not resist whispering in to her ear that he had added a few extra bits to the puzzle. Janice saw the funny side to what he had to say, as they returned to the kitchen for another cup of coffee.
It was late in the afternoon before Dawn finally gave up her mammoth task of trying to stick the Llama back together, and with no success. The monstrosity that she had created did appeal to Matthew sense of humour and he asked her to leave it as it was. Once he had sprayed it a different colour it would look like a modern art sculpture, something like Andy Wahol would conjure up and make a million dollars for him at an auction.
It was Monday morning and Matthew had decided to return to work. However, he had not realised that his reception was going to border on rock star status. Within just a few minutes of walking on to the shop floor he was mobbed by most of his fellow workers, all anxious to know how he was and what had happened to him. The news had spread around the works in double quick time of the beating that he had taken, with most people taking it for granted that he had been mugged. Matthew was still sporting a black eye but apart from that he had recovered quite well. As the majority of the workers had moved away to their assembly line positions ready for the siren that would announce the start of the line. Matthew was left in the middle of Peter, Sally and Maureen, who at the same time quizzed him about his health.
Matthew assured them that he was okay and just prayed that there would be no awkward questions for him to answer. Maureen was the quietest waiting for a lull she could ask him a couple of personal questions and Matthew knew it. Although just as she was about to say something up walked the supervisor and demanded that they take up their positions on the line. Yes Herr Hoss-Shite, said Peter before Matthew could get the same words out. Right away Herr Hoss-Shite said Matthew while looking at Peter. Who taught you that one he asked? Got it from you Matthew and if it’s good enough for you then its good enough for me, but I’d wish you would tell me what it all means. The supervisor once again ordered them to their positions only this time in a threatening manner, Matthew winked at Maureen and silently mouthed the words, see you at lunch keep me a seat.
They worked on opposite sides of the assembly line, just a couple of meters along from each other. Although by a stroke of luck their jobs allowed them to take the occasional glance in each other's direction across the conveyor belt, that was always moving with half assembled lawn mowers scattered all along its length. It was during these glances when they timed it right that their eyes met and they would just stare at each other. However, it was impossible to talk because of the machinery noise that was going on all around them at a deafening volume. Therefore they had developed a system of shaping words with their mouths virtually just saying the word but with no sound coming out. The system was in its infancy as they had only been at it for a couple of weeks. However, for them it was enough to get them by, with the basic words of a couple in love.
Most of the workers around them knew what they were up to and at times would make fun of them, by also mouthing words to each other. Although they were not usually words of love more a big joke amongst the workers. Matthew and Maureen had learnt to ignore them and they accept
ed it all in good humour. That is all accept the German supervisor who was always looking for an excuse to belittle Matthew. He did not like what Matthew was calling him, especially now that Peter was copying his example. If he had his way he would have Matthew sacked, but was unable to do this unless he had a very good reason, mainly because of the union bosses and also because they could not employ enough locals to do the tedious type of work that was required in the factory.
It seemed an eternity, but finally the lunch break arrived and they all headed to the canteen for a much-needed cup of tea. Maureen had saved Matthew his usual seat and was eagerly awaiting him to sit down beside her. No sooner had they got together and before they could utter one word to each other, Peter and Sally arrived and once again hit him with a barrage of questions. Like what had happened? Who had done it? Was he all right now? Did it still hurt? Maureen was sitting beside him and had both hands around his arm and was holding him tightly as if she was scared that he might move away and not return. Matthew went over most of the detail to them and gave them a fairly accurate account of what had happened. However, he did leave out the most important piece and that was the connection with John. He felt that it would serve no purpose in telling them and anyway Peters mother Eileen should be the person to tell him these sorts of details. After Matthew had finished they all made comments about his bruised and blackened eye, and remarked about how funny it looked. Matthew answered by telling them that he did not feel funny, in fact at times it still bloody well hurt.
When finally Maureen had her chance to get a word in, her first question was to ask him why he had not returned her phone call. Matthew did not want to lie to her but he felt he had to, just so there would be no bad feelings and maybe a possible scene in the canteen, and in front of most of the work force. He tried to explain that he was not feeling to good and was trying to get as much rest as possible so he could return to work. You could have just talked to me on the phone surely that would not take much energy. Well the other reason is that Ja… he cut himself off in mid sentence and then continued to say that the owner of the house had not given him the message for a couple of days.
To his relief the supervisor came over to the table and started to make fun of his black eye, by calling him One Eyed Jack, (the title of an old western movie). Matthew let his temper do the talking by jumping to his feet and saying, yes Mr Hoss-Shite, no Mr Hoss-Shite, three bags full Mr Hoss-Shite. The supervisor in a very deep German accent asked. But why do you call me Mr Hoss-Shite, my name is Herr Hossriete. Peter joined in, yes why do you call him Hoss-Shite, I’d like to know that as well. Matthew was quick to answer, Hoss-Shite, Horse-Shit don’t you get it Horse-Shit, Horse-Shit that’s about all he talks to us, especially when he is using his authority to order us around. After a few seconds of complete silence Sally perked up and said that her mother once knew a German barber by the name of Herr Kut. Everybody just turned and looked at her, and once again there was complete silence. Sally just did not come out with jokes like this or at least she hadn’t in the past, so it was so out of character for her. Suddenly the silences was broken as somebody on the next table joined in and said aloud that his father had a friend in Holland with the name of Hans Ohff, with that the whole table burst in to laughter, as did a few other people around the canteen who had all been straining their necks in an effort to hear what was being said. Then somebody else shouted out that they knew of a Scottish dentist with the name of Phil McCavity, once again there was more laughter. Most of the workers hated the supervisor, but not many of them had the courage to answer him back, so when an opportunity came their way to have a laugh at him and to his face, well they took the invitation with open arms. Hossriete turned away and made a quick exit from the canteen before he was belittled by more of the workers. Matthew would have to wait and see what fate had in store for him, and if indeed he still had employment at the local lawn mower factory. Then the siren blasted informing them all that it was time to return to the assembly line and the hard grind of a day's work. As they were leaving Matthew made arrangements to pick Maureen up and to take her out after work.
That night he took her for a big slap up meal in a top nightclub in Ipswich. This was the first time that they had been on their own for some time, and Maureen was soaking up the company that Matthew was offering. They kissed and cuddled at every opportunity it was as if nothing had happened over the past couple of weeks. That was until she asked him how he was getting on with the statue that she had bought him. Oh, he said being caught off guard and wondering if he should tell her the truth of what had happened to it. He deciding to say nothing, it has pride of place in the lounge he told her, in that special spot where it cannot help to be noticed. What did your landlady think of it? Matthew went on to tell her that she loved it and thought it suited the room, she even made the remark that it would be nice to have a pair to balance up the room. The minute he finished saying that, he knew he’d done wrong and that it could cause trouble. So he immediately changed the subject and told her of a road sign that he had seen a few days before. It read 'Taylor Pies' and underneath it had the words 'Crematorium' and under that it said, 'Rosie’s Transport Café'. Matthew laughed and started making all of the usual jokes about using the crematorium ovens to cook the pies, and even that maybe the meat might be coming from the same source. He finished off by adding that you could then go down the road to 'Rosie’s' and enjoy eating as many as was possible. You could have used the sign as a slogan he said, something like 'We make then,' while under that it could have said that 'We cook them,' followed by 'We sell them'. Maureen laughed but told him off for talking like that and that one day it would get him in to trouble. Anyway Matthew thought it was hilarious and continued laughing and adding more jokes about it.
Matthew noticed that she was wearing a very nice gold locked on her wrist and asked her what it was. She quickly replied that it came from Romford. Romford said Matthew only football players come from Romford. Maureen jumped in by telling him that her favourite Aunt had come from Romford. Matthew with equal speed asked what team she had played for. Matthew was quick to get off of that subject and find something totally different to talk about. She had left some of her vegetables on the side of her plate so Mathew made the remark that his parents had always got on to him about leaving them and that there were millions of starving people in India. So for years he had eaten bloody tons of the fowl tasting things, and that it had not helped as there was still millions of starving people in India.
After the meal Maureen got up to go to the ladies room, Matthew thought it was a good idea and went to the men’s. But not before he asked her would she like a drink, and he would meet her in the bar.
When Maureen finally arrived at the bar to Matthew relief, thinking that she was in trouble and was considering sending out a search party for her. They sat at a table near the window, not that there was much to see outside, as it was dark. Maureen was bubbling, hey you should see what it's like in the ladies she said, it's all very modern, with gadgets to do everything. You know when you wash your hands and then you don’t like opening the doors because there are germs on the handle, well even the doors open automatically, it was amazing. What were the gents like she asked, oh pretty much the same, but we did have a girl zipping up our trousers for us, so our hands did not get dirty. There was suddenly a dead hush as Maureen looked at him not knowing what to say next. Matthew thought for a moment thinking that he should not really tease her like this, as she was so sweet and innocent. She was just not on his line of comedy, one of these days he was going to say something that he would regret later. Matthew decided to cool it down a little so they went in to the dance area where they had a few more drinks and enjoyed a cuddle on the dance floor. With soft music and dimmed lights it was time to catch up on some romantic atmosphere. They both milked it to the limit and were disappointed when they suddenly realised that they should be heading home, both needed a little sleep before work the next day.
On the way home
Maureen cuddles up as close as possible to Matthew although it was awkward. Sitting in a bucket seats and tied in with seat belts was no joke and very restricting. Matthew was thinking of the times that he had been driving with Eileen. In those days the cars had bench seats and no seat belt, you cuddle up so close that she was almost on your lap. Plus it was great once you parked for the night, the bench seat was almost like a single bed.
The sound of a Police car siren and the sight of a blue flashing light in front of him suddenly brought him back to reality. He had been flagged over, but for what he had no idea. The police officer approached his car asking where had he been that night and did he know that he was wandering about in his lane. He then produced a breathalyser kit and asked Matthew to blow into it, taking one long breath and not to stop until he said so. When finally he was told that he could stop Matthew gasped for air. He could not resist making a comment asking if the officer was looking for possible candidates to blow up the balloons at the next policeman’s ball. The policeman retaliated telling him not to be smart, and that he was over the legal limit to be driving. He then proceeded to write him out a ticket telling him to pay it at his nearest Police station. Once again Matthew could not help himself, and asked how much he would get off if he paid cash. Although by this time the police officer was starting to lose his temper, and announced that it bordered on the line of bribery and that if he did not watch his step he would be further charged. Matthew finally got the message and kept his mouth shut as the officer told him that if the lady had a licence she could drive him home. Lucky for them both, she had not been drinking alcohol, otherwise they would have been stranded for the night.
Once they were on their way again and to break the pregnant pause around them Maureen out of the blue again asked Matthew if he was telling the truth about the girl in the gents toilet who was zipping up the men’s trousers. Yes he told her and we were not even charged for the service either. Poor innocent Maureen she was really being lead astray by Matthew, if ever she was to find out that she was the brunt of his jokes it was certainly going to be interesting. However, Matthew he did not see it that way, he just thought that if people laughed then they were having a good time, even if it was at their expense.
The next evening Matthew found himself unannounced knocking on Eileen’s front door, and as she opened the door she received her biggest shock of the day. What are you doing here she asked, just thought I would come round and have a little chat with you, he said. I think you have left that a little too late haven’t you, the last time I saw you, you were having a romp on the floor with my best friend's naked daughter, and in her house of all places. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, like I said it was not what it seemed, she was just chasing me around the room. What naked, Eileen said, what sort of mug do you take me for, where were her clothes? Matthew hesitated, Eh in the bathroom, in the bathroom Eileen butted in. Well you see without me knowing, she had got in to the shower with me. What, say no more Matthew it just gets worse by the mouthful, I’d hate you to incriminate yourself further. Oh come on Eileen give me chance you know I think the world of you, just let me explain. Eileen butted in and told him that he wouldn’t know the truth if it bit him on the backside. Well at least I thought that you would ask how I was and if Id fully recovered, or even what happened to me. You look fine to me Matthew you do not have to rub it in to gain some sympathy. How about a cup of tea Matthew asked, you know when I used to visit my Aunt at Stowupland I used to have to take a flask with me as she never ever offered me a cup of tea, hope you're not going to treat me like that. He finished off by saying that he thought they were friends and that they had something going between them. I don’t know any more Matthew, I just don’t know. I’m hearing so many stories from different people. I just don’t know whom to believe. He told her that she should not believe rumours as they were never true, and hadn’t he told her that he loved her only a few days ago prior to his mishap.
Then trying to change the subject, something Matthew was getting good at just lately, he asked where Peter was. Eileen was quick and just muttered that he was out with Sally. There you go reminding me of the incident once again. It was Janice’s daughter Dawn that we all wanted to go with Peter, see you have messed that up as well. Matthew was quick to tell her that he did not think the relationship would have been a good one and that he did not think they were suited. Well you would know, wouldn’t you, you have sampled the goods or tried them out as they say.
Trying to once again change the subject he asked where old big ears was. Then quite by a flute of nature the front door opened and in walked the man in question. What’s this about big beers John asked, oh nothing said Eileen Matthew was just leavening. Good job for that honey I thought for a moment that I was going to have to throw him out for you. Matthew was straight in asking whose army he was going to employ to do the job. While John came straight back at him with, boy looks like you ran in to the back of a Double Decker Bus, judging by the state of your face, or do you always look like that. It became evident from the way that the conversation was heading that Eileen did not know that John had been one of those to attack him. Matthew could see nothing was to be gained by staying especially now that John was in the house. It did not take a brain surgeon to work out that within a short period of time they would be at each other’s throat, and a big fight was going to be the end result. This was the last thing that Matthew wanted and especially at Eileen’s home, here he was still trying to seduce her not put her off for life. He had convinced himself that he was protecting her from a lesser-known evil and that was John.
He took his time going home by stopping off for a drink at the Queens Head Hotel, leaving it quite late before he finally departed and headed for home. He had decided that it would be a good idea if he let the ladies of the house go to bed before he arrived. However, he was wrong, when finally he did arrive home he found Janice still waiting up to greet him. Her first words were, look what I have for you lover boy, and with that she unveiled another double-headed Llama. She then went on to explain that Maureen had been to the house earlier in the evening to see him, and had left another present to match the first. Janice had not let her into the house afraid that she would see the frail condition of the first, that Dawn had left it in. She might have asked too many questions about the hump in its middle that stood out like a sore thumb to anybody that was likely to see it. Now we have two of the damn things, what are we going to do with this one Janice asked. Bookends said Matthew, Yes that’s it Bookends. But they are a meter high and they can only sit on the floor, we haven’t any books a meter high said Janice. Matthew continued in his usual way of cracking all sorts of jokes and funny one-liners in a vain effort of coming up with a solution. Although it was all to no avail and he finally admitted defeat and told her that he was going to sleep on it. To which Janice got a joke in by saying that she would like to see that and asking if he would be comfortable. She then left the room and returning right away with a blanket in her arms saying here I’ll tuck you in.
Unbeknown to Matthew when John walked in on him at Eileen’s he had sensed the hostility that Matthew had shown towards him. He had also realised that Matthew knew it was him who had been one of his attackers. He was also very worried that while he was still on the scene he was not only a big threat to his relationship with Eileen, but also a threat to him, and this threat had to be dealt with, and dealt with right away. John had always considered himself as a bit of a fighter but he knew that he had no chance up against Matthew on a one to one basis. So he had contacted his mate known to Matthew as Cheetah and had told him to have another crack at Matthew and if possible get him out of town only this time for good.
For the next few days whenever Matthew was moving around the town whether on foot or in his car, he was constantly seeing Cheetah. So it did not take much imagination for him to work out that once again the man was targeting him. However, this time Matthew was going to call the shots. This time he was going to choose the k
illing field and it would be at a time and place that suited him.
Matthew decided to fight fire with fire and to go on the attack, why wait for the trouble to come to him and catch him off guard and in a situation that he could not control. With this in mind he started stalking Cheetah, and it only took a short time for him to choose the place. Matthew had watched his movements and found that he lived near the recreation grounds so knowing a time of night that he would be walking in the area Matthew positioned his car so that Cheetah would walk past him but on the other side of the road. Sure enough just as it was getting dark along came Cheetah, heading straight towards him. Matthew waited until he was almost level with the car and wound the window down, and then to the surprise of Cheetah, Matthew beckoned him over. Cheetah walked across the road but approached the car curiously, swearing and cursing under his breath by the sudden realisation that it was Matthew who had called him. As he was about to poke his head through the window to hear what Matthew had to say to him. Matthew thrust his left hand across his body and at Cheetah, grabbing him by the throat in the area of his collar and tie. The grip that Matthew had on him was like a vice, on one side of his Adams apple Matthew had his thumb and on the other his index finger and both were digging into his flesh. It was as if he was squeezing the living daylights from his body by choking him. This caught Cheetah totally by surprise and off balance, which made it easy for Matthew to pull his head inside the car. As his head passed by the window frame, Matthew produced a violent sideward head butt landing it right on the bridge of his nose. The blow brought blood streaming from his nose immediately, he then pushed him back out of the car. Once again being off balance as the grip on his throat was released, he fell on to his back in the middle of the road, where he lay for a few moments while his eyes became badly swollen and closed on him. He was not only left laying in the road semi conscious and bleeding but he was losing his sight at an alarming rate. Matthew decided that it was not in his interest to serve the man any more punishment. So he got out of the car and dragged him to the walkway where he dumped him in an untidy heap. Before he walked away he threatened him, that if ever anybody ever came after him in the future, he would be the one that Matthew would sort out, to once again repay the debt, from now on it was between him and Matthew.
Matthew headed straight to Eileen’s house, at first she would not let him in. It was only after a lot of persuasion and Matthew’s persistence in telling her that it was John that he wanted to talk to, that she finally relented and let him in. Matthew went straight up to the guy and immediately a slanging match started. John felt quite strong in his belief that he was safe in Eileen’s house and that Matthew would not start a fight in front of her. However, that was a false sense of security that he had misjudged. Matthew tore in to him about sending a child to do a man's job and that he had just left him in a heap lying on a footpath. It was now John’s turn to receive a few bumps and bruise, and that Matthew was going to spread him round the room.
Eileen who had been listening to what was being said realise that it was John who had lead the first attack against Matthew, and suddenly felt discussed by the whole situation. She now ordered both men from her house immediately, but when both refused to leave she threatened to involve the police. The situation started to get nasty and both men were by now throwing pretend blows at each other, while Eileen was shouting at the top of her voice trying to break them up. When in walked Peter and was amazed to find the turmoil that was going on. He immediately tried to help his mother in parting the two men. As he pulled John away from Matthew, John turned and said that’s it take your father's side. There was suddenly a dead hush within the room nobody moved or said a thing, you could hear a pin drop. What was that he asked, could you repeat it to me? Yes I know he’s your father, it did not take much for me to put two and two together and to come up with three. Peter turned to his mother asking if it was correct. She nodded her head and said yes, I wanted to tell you, but I needed to pick the time and the place. Peter asked why she had waited all of these years. She tried to explain that it had not been relevant until Mathew had turned up out of the blue after 20 years. Since his arrival just a few weeks ago it had caught her off guard and that she was just waiting for the right time, as far as she knew only Matthew had been told and that was on the night of his party. Peter then turned to Matthew asking why he had not told him, he thought he was his friend. Matthew just stood there in silence and for the first time in his life decided that now was not the time for one of his stupid jokes that he had been renowned for.
Peter turned and ran out of the room and out of the house, leaving the three adults all staring at each other. Eileen then ordered John to get his belongings and to get out of her life for good. As John left the room she turned to Matthew and told him not to be so smug and that he could also get out of her life before she did something that she would regret for the rest of her life. She went on to tell him that he had been nothing but trouble ever since he arrived back in town, and that he was doing his best to wreck a lot of people's lives. Stowmarket had been a quiet little town before he had decided to tear it apart in his pursuit of the fairer sex.
Matthew followed John out of the house even helping him with one of his suite cases. However, out on the pavement once again they both stated arguing and blaming each other for the position that they now both found themselves.
Eileen now completely alone, her son had walked out on her and god knows where he had gone or if he would ever return. Her so called wedding was now off and at her age she doubted that she would ever find another man who would be prepared to marry her. Matthew had been what she thought would be her saviour, he had been her childhood sweetheart he had been the only person in the world that she wanted to live with for the rest of her life. He had walked out on her over twenty years ago. Upon his return she really thought that they could pick up the pieces and start again and that it would lead to a beautiful and fruitful life together. Finally he could become Peter's father and by god he deserved it, having grown up without a father figure in his life. Eileen was once again all alone and there seemed to be no light at the end of the tunnel.