He drew back, searching her eyes for a long moment. “But I’ll blame myself. I want so much to make you happy—I’d do anything I could to keep you from pain. Anything.”
“Don’t. Don’t, Sylvan. I know.” Sophie kissed him again. “I have to go, Liv is waiting for me.”
He nodded. “Go then. I’ll be here if you need me.”
“I know.” She tried to smile but couldn’t quite manage it. She was still swiping tears from her eyes when she caught up to Olivia, who was hovering just outside the closed door of Kat’s room.
“I don’t know what to say.” Liv’s voice, so strong a moment ago, was wavery and uncertain.
“I don’t know either,” Sophie admitted. “I just…what can you say about something like this?”
“You could say, ‘Hi Kat, welcome home.’” The door slid open to reveal Kat standing there with one hand on her ample hip and a little smile on her face. Her long red hair was damp—obviously she’d just gotten out of the shower. Sophie couldn’t see a thing wrong with her except for a tiny green half-circle that looked like the start of a shamrock tattoo on her right cheekbone.
“Hi, Kat-woman.” Olivia looked at her uncertainly. “Are you okay?”
“Peachy, aside from the fact that I’m supposed to die in the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours.” Kat’s voice was perfectly calm but there was something wild in her eyes—a despair that Sophie could see even if their friend wasn’t willing to speak it out loud.
“Kat,” she choked, holding out her arms. “Oh, Kat…”
Suddenly all three of them were hugging and crying, right there in the hallway of the med center. Sophie held her friend tight, feeling like if she could just hold her close enough, she might never have to let go.
Surprisingly, Kat was the one to recover first. Sniffing, she pulled back from the little huddle of misery they had formed and blotted her eyes on the sleeve of the hospital gown she was wearing. The Kindred version of the gown was made of much nicer fabric and came in a variety of stylish colors but unfortunately still gaped open in the back.
“Okay, that’s enough of that,” she said, wiping her eyes one last time. “I don’t have time to waste getting all emotional.”
“Sorry,” Sophie whispered, blotting her own eyes. “I just…I can’t believe it. It can’t be true.”
“It doesn’t feel real to me either.” Kat lifted her chin. “But I guess it is. Sylvan’s the best and if he says there’s nothing they can do…”
“Don’t give up hope yet,” Liv said, sniffing fiercely. “We just saw Lock and he said Deep was on his way to Twin Moons to find Mother L’rin. She healed you before—I’m sure she can help this time, too.”
“Yeah, that’s what we were talking about on the way up here.” Kat frowned. “But should Deep be going such a long distance after the wound he got? I mean, you should have seen the knife he got stuck with. It was practically as long as my arm.”
“Lock said he felt he was healed well enough to travel,” Sophie said. “And Sylvan said something about the Twin Kindred having self healing or self sealing organs or something, I think. Anyway, Lock said they didn’t want to waste any time in case…well, you know.”
“I know.” Kat nodded.
“I don’t understand why Lock didn’t just go and let Deep stay here and recuperate,” Olivia said.
“He probably wants to apologize in person,” Kat murmured.
“Apologize? For what?” Liv said. “Was it his fault you…” She motioned to the tiny green mark on Kat’s cheek.
“Oh no, that was just bad luck.” Kat swallowed. “Really, really bad luck. But Mother L’rin was extremely angry at us the last time we saw her—especially at Deep because he was the one who insisted we cut our bond.”
“And did you?” Sophie asked. “Did you get it cut?”
“In a way.” Kat sighed. “Look, it’s a long story and I don’t want to tell it here. Hang on while I get dressed—I had Lock go get me some clothes. Just give me a second and then we can go back to my suite and talk.”
“Wait a minute.” Liv frowned. “You can’t just leave AMA, Kat.”
“Watch me,” Kat said grimly. “You think I’m going to spend my last day or days cooped up in here wearing a hospital jonnie? I don’t think so. If I’m going to die I need chocolate STAT. And I want to wear my favorite dress—you know, the green one I spent a fortune on and keep in the back of the closet? I’ve never dared to wear it out because it’s too low cut so I feel like my boobs are falling out of it. But I’m going for it now. And I also want to…to…” Her voice began to waver. “Oh hell, I want to talk to my Grandma. I think…I guess I’d better warn her what’s going on. What’s going to happen.”
“Kat…” Sophie and Liv reached for her again but she shook her head and took a deep breath.
“Nope, not gonna cry. I am not going to spend the time I have left whining.” She squared her shoulders. “Hang on, I’ll be out in a minute and then we’re going to paint the town red. Or the Mother ship. Or whatever.”
As the door shut behind her, Sophie looked at her sister. Olivia shrugged. What could they do but comply with what might be Kat’s last request? It’s so like her, Sophie thought, listening to the determined sounding humming coming from behind the door as Kat got dressed. Not to complain or waste time crying. She’s so much braver than I could ever be. It was one of the reasons she loved Kat—why she and Liv both loved her. But to see her friend’s courage tested in such an extreme way was almost beyond what Sophie could stand.
Liv must have seen the look on her face because she squeezed Sophie’s hand. “I know,” she whispered. “It’s hard.”
“It’s awful,” Sophie whispered back. “Poor Kat.”
“She doesn’t want us to pity her.” Liv sniffed and straightened her shoulders. “So we won’t. We’re going to make this the best time she ever had—however long we have to do it.”
“You’re right.” Sophie blotted her own eyes and tried to be brave. After all, how could they deny their friend’s request to have a little fun before she died? But please, God, don’t really let her die. Don’t take Kat away from us, she prayed fervently. Let Deep find the solution, let him bring back hope that everything is going to be okay.
Then Kat came out of her room, dressed and smiling and Sophie forced herself to smile back. Everything was going to be all right because it had to be. Losing Kat was unthinkable so she wasn’t going to think about it.
Not yet. Not until she had to.
Chapter Thirty-eight
“I am sorry, Warrior, but I can do nothing for you.” Mother L’rin stood wreathed in the pink and gold and green plants of the Healing Garden, looking almost like one of them herself. She had agreed to see him on short notice which was good since Deep hadn’t intended to wait for anyone. He’d folded space and gotten back to his home planet in record time—less than an hour from when he’d left the Mother ship. And now it seemed his entire trip had all been in vain.
“Please.” He struggled to keep his voice even. “Please, Mother L’rin, I’ll do anything. Anything. Look…” He tore off his shirt, baring his back for her. “Use the whip. Lash me until my skin peals from my body—I don’t care. Only please heal her.”
She spread her wrinkled hands. “I have already told you—I cannot.”
Deep wanted to tear his hair in frustration. “Please don’t punish Kat for my arrogance. I know I have been disrespectful and rude and foolish…”
“You have been all those things.” Mother L’rin nodded gravely. “But worse than anything else, you have blasphemed against the Goddess. It was she who put you and your brother together with the lady Kat. It was her will you broke when you cut the bond she had forged between the three of you.”
“Then I’ll go to the sacred grove,” Deep began pacing wildly. “I’ll get on my knees and I’ll pray for forgiveness.”
“You may do that if you wish and I am certain that the Goddess will forgive you—she i
s merciful in all things,” the old healer said quietly. “However, that does not mean she will heal your lady. Some things cannot be undone, Deep.”
“But there has to be a way. There has to.” He fell to his knees before her. “Please, Mother L’rin—you healed her before. I know you can heal her again. I am begging you.”
“I did not heal her,” she corrected him gently. “You did. You and Lock. By forging the soul bond with her in the first place.”
“And then we cut it.” Deep slumped back on his heels. “Or I should say, I cut it. Or insisted on having it cut.”
“That you did.” Mother L’rin nodded. “There is nothing you can do for soul poisoning but dilute the poison. If you and Lock both were still bonded to the Lady Kat, you might have been able to save her by completing the bond and each taking a little of the taint into yourselves.”
Deep felt like an iron fist was gripping his heart. “So…we might have saved her if I had not cut the bond between us?”
“It is not certain but you would have had a chance. Now, I fear…there is none. No chance.”
“No chance,” Deep echoed. “Gods, what a fool I am! In trying to save her I have damned her instead. Oh, Kat…” Rage and frustration rose within him along with a grief too terrible to be born. He had condemned the woman he loved to die. Then he had a new fear. “But Lock still is bonded to her. Does…does that mean they both will die?”
Mercifully, Mother L’rin shook her head. “If what you have told me is true, the bond between them is not complete. And it never can be.”
Deep frowned. “Why not? Other than the fact of Kat being…being poisoned?”
“The poison cannot seep though an incomplete or partial bond,” the old healer said. “And a Twin Kindred cannot form a complete bond on his own without his brother. Be at peace, Deep—you will not lose your twin as well as your lady.”
“I’ve already lost him. As surely as I’ve lost Kat. Lock hates me now and I don’t blame him.” Deep looked down at his hands. “Gods, how could I have been so stupid? So…so…”
“Prideful,” Mother L’rin finished for him. “You chose to withdraw yourself from the will of the Goddess. You refused to trust her when she brought a new female into your life.”
“You didn’t see her lying there,” Deep said in a low voice. “Miranda. Just lying there, her eyes open, staring at nothing. Dead. And all because of me.”
“I know about your past.” Mother’s L’rin’s voice was unexpectedly gentle. “It was a tragedy. But far sadder is the fact that you have cut yourself off so thoroughly that you could not see the lady Kat for what she truly is—a courageous female who would never take her own life.”
“She may wish to if the soul poisoning progresses much farther,” Deep said grimly. “I’m told the pain can be intense.” He pressed the heel of his hand to his eyes. “And it’s all my doing. Don’t you see, Mother? This is why I wanted to cut her from me in the first place—to spare her pain. But my plan backfired and made things worse. So much worse.”
“I’m sorry there is nothing I can do for you or for that sweet child you and Lock both care for so much.” Mother L’rin touched his shoulder gently. “Go home and make your peace with her and with your brother before the end.”
“Neither Kat or Lock is going to want to make peace with me.” Lock took a deep breath and stood up. “I bring them nothing but tragedy and pain—as I have always done.”
“You are a dark twin,” Mother L’rin said. “Your path is not the easy one, Deep.”
“No, it is not.” Slowly he turned to go. “I have been the worst kind of fool. Truly, I should be the one who is dying—not my little Kat. If I could give my life for hers, I would.”
“It is not for you to say who lives and who dies,” Mother L’rin said. “That is a task for the Goddess.”
“Maybe so,” Deep murmured. “But even the Goddess must recognize justice when she sees it.” He knew now what he had to do. He might not be able to heal Kat or stop her demise, but at least he could make a proper atonement for the role he had played in her death. It was only right.
Chapter Thirty-nine
“I’m sorry, Grandma. Really sorry.” Kat wiped away a tear that she couldn’t help shedding. As much as she was determined to stay positive, it was impossible to tell the woman who had raised her that she was about to die without tearing up.
“And you’re sure you can’t come back to Earth and see me?” Her grandmother asked in a quavering voice. She was crying too but also oddly calm.
She’s still in shock, Kat thought. She can’t really believe it. Well that makes two of us.
“I’m sorry Mrs. O’Connor, I know you want to see Kat but she needs to stay here on the Mother ship,” Liv answered for her. “She needs to have access to the special drugs that will help when she…when the poison…drugs that help,” she ended lamely.
Grandma nodded her silver-haired head. “I understand. And if you truly have such a short time, I won’t keep you. But I will say this—I love you, Kat. More than I can say.”
“I love you too, Grandma. Thanks for always being there for me after Mom and Dad split up.”
“They love you too, you know—your parents,” Grandma said. “They just never knew how to show it.”
That’s because they were too busy hating each other to show that they loved me. But Kat didn’t say it aloud—there was no point in bringing up bad memories at this point. “You tell them what’s happening and that I love them, okay?” she said.
Her grandmother nodded. “I don’t know how but…yes, I’ll try.”
“Thanks, Grandma.” Kat felt like she was about to burst into tears and she was afraid if she really started bawling, she wouldn’t be able to stop. She didn’t want to spend her last two days having a pity party. “I, uh, think our time is up,” she lied gently. “There are other people waiting to use the viewing room.”
“Of course.” Her Grandmother blew her a kiss. “Remember, Kat, I’ll always love you, no matter what.”
“Thanks Grandma. Goodbye.” Kat watched as her grandmother’s image faded to a single bright dot in the middle of the viewscreen and then went completely black. Olivia, sitting on her right hand looked grim and Sophie, on her left, was openly sobbing. “Okay, guys, come on,” she said with an effort. “Let’s get going. We can’t paint the town red of we’re crying our eyes out.”
“I’m sorry,” Sophie whispered brokenly, trying to control her tears. “I just…don’t want to lose you, Kat.”
“I don’t want to lose me either,” Kat said grimly. “But I’m not lost yet so if you don’t mind—”
Suddenly the viewscreen popped back to life. “Forgive me for interrupting your privacy,” said the Blood Kindred warrior, whose face had appeared on the screen. “But there is an incoming call for Miss Waterhouse from a woman who says she is your aunt. Do you care to accept it?”
“Oh my God! Aunt Abby! That detective must have told her what we said about Lauren.” Sophie turned to Liv. “Should we take it?”
Liv frowned. “It’s likely to take a little while and we might not have much time to, er, have fun. Maybe we should ask her to call back later.”
“No.” Kat swiped at her eyes and shook her head. “Take the call. I want to talk to her.”
“All right, if you’re sure…” Liv looked up at the Blood Kindred communications officer. “Fine, we’ll take it.”
“As you wish.” His image disappeared to be immediately replaced by the distraught face of Liv and Sophie’s Aunt Abby.
“Detective Rast told me that Lauren’s been taken by the Scourge,” she said without preamble. “He said you knew all along. How could you lie to me, Olivia, Sophia? How could you?”
“We didn’t want to,” Sophie said at once. “But we thought it might be easier for you to just think she was missing rather than to know…to know…”
“That the Scourge had her,” Liv finished for her. “Aunt Abby, we’re sorry, really we are.
We thought not knowing would be better than, well, knowing.”
“And you’re sure they have her?” Aunt Abby looked almost wild. “Truly certain?”
“Beyond the shadow of a doubt,” Liv said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“They don’t have her any more.” Kat spoke for the first time, stepping forward. “At least, the AllFather doesn’t.”
“What do you mean? What do you know?” Liv and Sophie’s aunt demanded wildly.
“I don’t know exactly where she is right now but I saw Lauren just a few hours ago and she was fine,” Kat assured her. “She hadn’t been molested or abused in any way—just held prisoner.”
“But where? Where are they holding her?”
“She was on the Scourge home world when I saw her.” Kat shifted uncomfortably. “But I think she escaped.” She wished again that they could have made a more thorough search for Lauren before leaving the deserted planet.
“You think? So then she’ll be coming home soon?” The hope in Aunt Abby’s eyes—the same clear amber as Lauren’s—nearly broke Kat’s heart.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I do know she had a protector—one of the Scourge was taking care of her, making sure she was safe and no one hurt her. We…had to leave the planet in a hurry but we saw another ship take off right before we went. I think he and Lauren must have been aboard.”
“But will he bring her home? Will I see her again?” Aunt Abby demanded.
Kat bit her lip. “I wish I could answer your questions but I really can’t. All I know is that Lauren seemed safe and well when I saw her and she did say that Xairn—the Scourge who was keeping her safe—had promised to take her home.”
Aunt Abby took a deep breath and nodded. “All right, thank you…”
“Kat,” Kat supplied.
“Thank you, Kat. At least I know she was well and healthy a few hours ago. If only I knew where she was and if she was heading home…” She blotted her eyes and looked at Sophie and Liv. “If you find out anything else will you please, please let me know, girls? Lauren is my daughter, I’d like to be kept in the loop.”