A sob rose in her throat. A sound of pure longing and loss and grief.
Gone…forever gone. Oh Deep…
Chapter Forty-three
Deep was so far past exhaustion he could barely feel. The power it took to keep the three of them at a spot so many light years from their physical forms, as well as the energy to dart around, keeping one step ahead of the AllFather, was draining him rapidly. He felt like he was running a race without oxygen, like his lungs were burning and the big muscles in his thighs were quivering with fatigue until he might collapse at any moment. But that was all right—as long as Kat and Lock got to safety. That was all he cared about, all that mattered.
When he felt the AllFather catch him, like a corpse-cold hand closing around his ankle, dragging him down to the bottom of a lake of darkness, it was almost a relief. Still, he tried to get away. Straining, he pulled with all his might. He wouldn’t leave Kat and Lock alone if he could help it. Couldn’t leave…And then the darkness erupted around him and he lost sight of the stars and planets and space. There was nothing but greasy black nothingness wherever he looked.
Sssooo, he heard a familiar voice whisper in his mind. I did not know you had sssuch ssspecial talentsss, Warrior. How fortuitousss, especially when I am ssso very hungry…
He’ll eat me, Deep thought with despair. He’ll suck down my spirit like a fine wine—he won’t even have to extract it from my body. I’ve handed it to him on a silver platter. That was an Earth vernacular saying which he had learned only recently but he’d never imagined he would be able to apply it to himself. Kat, he thought as the cold, oily tentacles slid around him, suffocating him, making it hard to breath. Lock, I’m so sorry. I loved you both so much. But if my death can set you free, it’s worth it.
Sighing, he released the tension inside himself, the psychic anchor which had held them all in place in this particular part of space. He thought he heard cries of sorrow as he let Kat and Lock’s spirits go, allowing them to slingshot back to their waiting bodies on the Mother ship. But they were so faint he couldn’t be sure. The AllFather didn’t seem to notice them at all—he was too busy preparing to devour.
So this is how it ends, Deep thought, feeling oddly at peace. I just hope it goes quickly.
Not quick, Warrior, the AllFather hissed in his head. Not too quickly at all. You helped my ssson to sssteal my bride. And sssince he is gone beyond my reach for the present, I want to sssavor your pain. Ssslowly…oh, ssso ssslowly… I—
No. You shall not have him. A sudden flash of light, like a stroke of lightening splitting the darkness, cut off the AllFather’s words. Deep was momentarily blinded. What—?
Not what, Warrior. Who. The voice in the darkness was filled with authority and distinctly feminine.
Who, then? Deep thought at it, feeling disoriented and confused. Where was the AllFather? What was happening to him? And who was this new entity he was speaking with?
Do you not know me? The voice was gentler now, almost laughing. The dark, oily tendrils suddenly shrank back at the sound and then disappeared altogether. You have worshiped me your whole life, the voice went on. Or pretended to, anyway.
Goddess? Mother of All Life? Deep could barely believe it. Like his brother and all other Kindred, he had been raised to show deep respect to the female deity they worshipped. But deep in his heart he had always harbored doubt as to her actual existence.
Doubt no more, Warrior. The light around him was growing. A soft glow that seemed to be the exact opposite of the AllFather’s evil black cloud.
I do not doubt, Deep sent, wishing he could see the being he was addressing.
To see my face is to die. No mortal can look upon my true visage and live, the Goddess sent gently. But I have provided a part of myself to you, Deep—a part you rejected.
To Deep’s surprise, out of the glowing white light stepped Kat. Or the image of her, anyway. She was wearing the deep green gown Lock had gotten her for the party on Twin Moons and her long auburn hair was loose around her shoulders. She was so beautiful his heart ached, yet he was confused.
I don’t understand. Are you saying that Kat is actually you? That’s she’s a goddess?
No, of course not. Musical laughter like chimes filled the air around him. But I place a little piece of myself in every female that I match with my males. That piece is what calls to you—what starts the dream sharing and causes the attraction between Kindred males and their chosen brides. Do you see now why fighting your love for Kat was useless from the start?
I see. Deep nodded respectfully. Forgive me, I beg. Truly, I have misused your gift to me most shamefully, Goddess.
You certainly have. The voice was stern. For that willful misuse you deserve to die, Deep. As well you know.
I know. He bowed his head submissively.
But there are others who would miss you if you were gone. Your brother Lock, for instance. Though you have treated him cruelly, still he loves you. And Kat, of course. She too would grieve your loss, though you have done your best to turn her against you.
Kat…Deep almost couldn’t continue. Forgive me, Goddess, but Kat will not have long to miss me. She has soul poisoning. I fear she hasn’t long to live.
I am aware of the situation with your lady, Deep. The voice was gently reproving. Tell me this, would you trade places with Kat? Would you take her pain and the certain death that comes with the wound of the kusax if I allowed her to live?
In an instant! Deep felt a surge of hope. Please, Goddess, I know now that you’re capable of all things. Please, if I could give my life for Kat’s, how gladly would I do so.
I feel the sincerity of your words. The voice sounded approving now. And so I will honor them in the spirit in which they are spoken. I will give to you, my errant son, what I have given to few others.
What do you give? Deep asked after a moment when the voice appeared to have finished speaking. Do you mean you’ll allow me to switch places with Kat? Please, Goddess, please, let it be so.
Remember my words, the voice whispered, not answering his question. Listen carefully that you may hide them deep in your heart. A war is coming—a conflict that will make the battles you have had with your enemy thus far seem like the battling of children at play with their toys.
Am I to play a part in it? Deep’s heart sank. Does that mean you won’t allow me to die in Kat’s place?
Many will have a part to play. Not least of all this one. The image of Kat melted away to be replaced by one of Xairn.
Him? Deep couldn’t help feeling doubtful. But he’s one of them—a Scourge.
Has he not conducted himself as a true Kindred would? the Goddess demanded. I tell you, Deep, this male is close to my heart. Much grief and pain has he bourn, yet he remains bowed but not broken.
He did seem to revere Lauren as a proper male should his female, Deep admitted grudgingly. Still, I don’t see—
His heart is in conflict, the Goddess continued. Though I have planted light within him, there are seeds of darkness as well. The outcome of the conflict I spoke of will hang upon his will. Her voice grew stern again. I charge you, Warrior, that you give him aid if he asks it of you. That you help him in any way you can. And that you not speak of this until the time is right. Do you understand?
I understand. Deep wanted to ask how he would know when the time was right but he had a feeling the question was unnecessary. The Goddess would let him know when it was time to reveal what she had showed him. Until then, for however long he had, he would keep the secret in his heart.
A long, lonesome time, he thought, feeling an ache when he thought of Kat. An eternity without my Kat. Unless I am given the opportunity to speak at once and then I die in her place. Anything was possible, he supposed. He only hoped he wouldn’t have to live without the woman he loved and the brother that was still so dear to him—even if the emotional bonds between the three of them were cut.
It is time for you to return, the voice murmured in his ear. Remember all t
hat I have told you. Remember that I give to you what few others receive.
But what…What
“Is it?” he finished aloud.
“Wh-what’s what?” Kat was sobbing uncontrollably and Lock was holding her in his arms with a look of pure misery on his face.
“Forgive me, my lady,” he murmured. “But I said nothing.”
“Yes you did.” She looked up at him, sniffing. “You…you said ‘what is it?”
Deep cleared his throat. “Actually, I said that.”
The expressions on their faces when they looked at him made Deep wish he had a recording device. Shock and dismay were followed by fear, disbelief, and finally, burgeoning hope.
“D-deep?” Kat whispered, her voice scratchy from crying. “Deep, is that you?”
“It certainly looks like it.” Glancing down at himself, Deep saw that he was still nude, though he and Lock were no longer fused or joined to Kat.
“Are you all right, Brother?” Lock’s voice sounded strained and hoarse. He put out a hand as though he could scarcely believe it. “Are you…really all right?”
Deep seized his hand and squeezed it tightly. “I feel fine, Brother. Never better.”
“Yes…” Lock looked at him in wonder. “You do feel fine. I feel it in my bones—your wellbeing. Your happiness to see us again.”
“What are you talking about?” Kat asked uncertainly.
“The bond. The emotional bond between us,” Deep said slowly. “I don’t know how it’s possible but it’s back. It’s been restored.”
“I…I think I can feel him too,” Kat said hesitantly. “Only I can hardly tell if it’s just me or both of you. I feel…I’m so filled with joy. And gratitude. Oh, Deep!” She threw herself into his arms and he caught her and held her tight. “You’re back. You’re really back and all right!” Her voice trembled with emotion.
“Yes, I am.” Deep stroked her shining hair gently, so filled with joy he could barely speak. But then he had a new thought. If he was back in his physical form with not a cut or a scratch on him, did it mean that the Goddess had decided not to let him trade places with Kat?
Surely she wouldn’t be that cruel, he thought, carefully shielding his thoughts. To bring me back and let me hold the woman I love and then take her away again. Oh, please Goddess…
Kat, who had had her face buried in his chest, pulled back to look up at him. “You’re upset now. What’s wrong?”
“Yes, what is troubling you, Brother?” Lock leaned forward, frowning.
“This.” Lifting Kat’s chin, Deep brushed his fingers over her right cheek…and then realized that it was smooth and unmarked. Had he mistaken which cheek had been wounded with the kusax? Quickly, he turned her chin to look at the other cheek—nothing. So the Goddess had honored his request. Knowing what he would see, Deep turned to look at the viewer which was still humming beside the bed. He examined the angular planes of his own cheeks and found…nothing.
So he wasn’t to trade places with Kat after all. Instead, they were both to live. The soul poisoning was gone. Healed. And the Goddess had restored their bonds. Oh thank you, Mother of All Life. Thank you so much!
Lock, who had been watching him and Kat in the viewer, seemed to realize what was going on at the same time. “My lady…” His voice trembled with joy and disbelief. “Kat, your cheek.”
“What?” She put a hand to her right cheek, frowning. “Has it spread some more?”
“No,” Deep brushed her hand aside and pointed at her reflection in the viewer. “It’s gone, little Kat. It’s completely gone.”
“Oh my God. What does that mean?” She examined her unblemished cheek in the mirror. “Has it moved somewhere else?” She looked down at the rest of her body and then examined herself in the viewer, looking for the green spiral of the soul poison.
Deep already knew she wouldn’t find a thing. A puff of air so soft that no one but him could hear it blew gently against his ear. I give to you what few others receive, Deep, it whispered. A second chance. Use it wisely and well. Love your lady and your brother and treat them with respect and kindness as a true Kindred should. And do not forget your promise.
I won’t, Deep sent, his heart filled to overflowing with gratitude. Thank you so very much, Goddess. I won’t forget.
“You won’t forget what?” Lock was frowning at him and Kat was still searching her body uncertainly.
“Stop.” Deep, lifted her chin and kissed her gently on the forehead. “Stop looking, little Kat. You’re not going to find anything—you’re cured.”
“Cured? Are you sure?” The light of hope shone in her eyes. “But how? By who?”
“By the same one who sent me back to both of you.” Deep hugged her tightly and then beckoned with his free arm to Lock. “Come here, Brother.”
Lock joined their embrace with tears in his eyes and they held Kat tightly between them in the way of the Twin Kindred when they find their true bride.
You’re ours now, little Kat, Deep sent her through the new and very permanent bond that had been formed in their joining. Mine and Lock’s forever.
You mean…we’re bonded? Completely bonded this time? She looked up at him, uncertainty filling her lovely blue eyes.
I hope you don’t mind, my lady, Lock sent anxiously. But it’s true—feel the depth of the bond between us. This connection is to the soul bond we shared previously as a rope is to a thread. It binds us tightly and permanently together.
Lock’s right, Deep told her. I’m afraid there’s no going back.
No going back? You idiots! Kat was laughing and crying at the same time as she pulled them both close again. I don’t want to go back! I just want to spend the rest of my life with the two most wonderful guys in this or any other galaxy.
Oh? Deep raised an eyebrow at her. And who are they? Have we met them?
You…Kat shook her head, still laughing through her tears. I swear one of these days I’m going to kill you, Deep.
I’ve already died. He made his mental voice serious as he looked into her eyes. But I came back for you, little Kat. You and Lock. And to keep a promise.
“A promise?” Lock said aloud, frowning. “A promise to who?”
“Never mind.” Deep shook his head. “I’ll tell you when the time is right. And it isn’t yet.”
“I know what the time is right for.” Kat’s eyes were suddenly half-lidded with desire as she smiled up at him and Lock. “It’s time for another session of bonding sex between the three of us. I want to feel both of you in me again.”
Deep smiled. “You want to ‘renew our vows’ as they say on Earth, already?”
“Absolutely.” She smiled. “And do you think this time we could manage to do it without anybody being dead for a couple of minutes and giving the rest of us heart attacks?”
“I think that can be arranged, my lady.” Lock smiled and stroked a strand of silky red hair out of her eyes. “And this time I want to be in front.”
“You can both take turns being in front and back all night long.” Kat smiled and gave them each a long, slow kiss. “I drank a whole glassful of that bonding juice, remember? I don’t think the effects will be wearing off any time soon.”
“I hope not, little Kat,” Deep murmured as he and his brother lowered their bride gently to the bed and prepared to bond her to them all over again. “I certainly hope not.”
Epilogue
“So Sylvan gave you and Deep both a clean bill of health?” Olivia chose a homemade soft pretzel from the tray and added a tiny dollop of horseradish mustard before taking a big bite.
“Yup. We’re good to go—not a trace of soul poisoning anywhere.” Kat smiled happily.
“But how?” Sophie asked. “What healed you?”
“Mother L’rin told Deep that if the three of us had a bond we could dilute the poison. We didn’t think a bond was possible when we, ahem, had bonding sex, but apparently we formed one anyway. So that’s the official theory. But Deep seems to think
there’s more to it.”
Like what?” Liv asked
“I don’t know and he’s not telling. I guess the important thing is that we’re all healthy and together.” Kat sighed happily. “I’m just so glad everything’s okay. And I can even act as their focus as often as I want—now that we’re bonded it’s safe. So it looks like I have a whole new career in front of me.”
“I thought you wanted to go to law school,” Sophie said.
“Nope. Having hot three-way sex in order to find missing persons is way more fun than torts and tax law.” Kat grinned.
“My, my. You’re grandmother will be so proud,” Liv said dryly, adding more mustard, a splash of soy sauce, and some creamy peanut butter to her next bite of pretzel.
“She’s just happy I’m not going to die,” Kat said seriously. “I don’t think she cares what I do for a living as long as I live.” She made a face as Liv added even more condiments to her pretzel. “Uh, don’t take this the wrong way, hon, but that looks disgusting.”
“It may look awful but it tastes like heaven.” Liv smiled.
“She’s been craving salty instead of sweet lately,” Sophie explained taking a dainty bite of her own soft pretzel. “I swear I’m going to become a master baker just trying to keep up with her pregnant whims.”
“You’re the best sister ever.” Olivia smiled at her gratefully. “And you’re the best friend,” she told Kat. “Although you should have told us the minute you knew you weren’t going to die instead of spending the rest of the night having wild three-way sex with your men.” Her gray eyes filled with tears. “Sophie and I sat up all night talking about how much we were going to miss you. And…and…” She sniffed. “Sorry. Hormones again.”
“Aw, Liv, I’m so sorry. Really I am!” Kat leaned over and hugged her. “I know it wasn’t very nice of me but I was so happy that Deep was back from the dead and I wasn’t going to die. Plus, I drank like a whole glass full of horny juice—you know, from the bonding fruit? And it kind of…clouded my judgment.”