She doesn’t mean it. Her voice is missing its usual snark.
“That isn’t the direction I hoped we were headed.” I drop our bags and step in front of her, this time taking her hands in mine to prevent her from turning away again.
She sniffs, and I realize she’s not angry, she’s crying. Her very restrained version of crying. I pull her to my chest and hold her against me. If I could, I would battle her demons for her. I can’t do much for her, though, if she doesn’t let me in.
At first she stands stiffly as if I’m holding her against her will. Then, she puts her head on my shoulder and trembles against me. Without raising her head, she says, “I don’t have a quiet place. There is no thought that calms me or brings me peace. When I put everything else out of my head—all that’s left is every time I failed.”
I could love this woman. “No one is perfect, Kylie. We all make mistakes.”
“Yes, we do. I shouldn’t have come here today, Ben.”
“You didn’t fail in there. I did. I thought it would be good for you.”
“Because there’s something wrong with me?”
“No, because everyone feels better when they take a break, or at least take a breath.”
“I don’t take breaks.”
“But do you want to?”
She raises her head and looks me in the eye. “I’m not going back in there,” she asserts, pointing back in the yoga studio.
“I’m sure we wouldn’t be welcome.” I smile. Come on, Kylie. You know you can’t resist me.
Her expression lightens. “Technically you’re the one who got us thrown out.”
“Your fault for looking so good in those pants.”
She rolls her eyes but she’s smiling. “I thought the goal was to empty your mind.”
“It wasn’t my mind I was having trouble controlling.” I pull her closer, not at all embarrassed by my body’s reaction to her. I don’t like the idea of her with another man.
She tenses. “You’re wasting your time. There’s nowhere this can go.”
“It’s my time. I’m between projects, so I have more of it than usual.”
She sighs and steps out of my embrace. “See, I can’t understand that. I’d be worried about what I’m doing next.”
I nod. Another piece clicks into place. She’s not judging me as much as revealing her own inability to turn off. “You said you don’t have a happy place to go to when you close your eyes—let me help you find that place.”
She puts a hand on her hip. “Seriously? That’s quite a come-on line.”
I laugh. “Oh, we can have sex too. As much as you want—but that wasn’t the happy place I was referring to. I do like where your mind is, though.”
She picks up my bag and hands it to me by shoving it into my chest. “It’s time for me to get back to the office.”
“So, you don’t want to hear about what I imagined every time I closed my eyes?”
She grabs her bag and starts to walk off. I have every intention of following her, but I take a moment to appreciate the way her ass pumps up and down in those skintight yoga pants. A man must have invented that particular apparel, and I can’t imagine a way to improve it.
She stops and looks over her shoulder at me.
All I can do is smile and think—Damn. This is what I’m missing.
CHAPTER NINE
Kylie
“I went to yoga today with Ben,” I announce as I stroll into Penny’s apartment. It’s not technically a lie. Her head snaps around and her eyes go wide.
“No you didn’t.”
I love that Penny looks perfectly content. She’s made the apartment shine with little pieces of her own style. What she’s brought adds a warmth to the place as well as Dalton to his knees. I respect that.
“Ask Ben.” I pour myself some of Dalton’s best Scotch. I know it’s his best because I gave it to him. God, I am competitive. “During lunch today we met at a yoga studio. Hot yoga.”
“How did you like it?” She absolutely thinks I’m lying. Her question is more of a quiz than polite conversation.
“It was terrible.” I admit. “It was unbearably hot. We left early.”
“You got kicked out of yoga?” Penny laughs as she pats the spot on the couch next to her.
“It was a mutual decision to part ways,” I counter with a smile. “Technically Ben got us kicked out. But at least I can now say I tried yoga.”
“Did you try anything else with Ben?” She nudges me with her elbow and winks.
“It’s like you don’t know me at all. Ben lives in the same building. There is no way I’d mess around with him and have to be his neighbor.”
“So, you’re not seeing him?”
I take a swig of the Scotch. “I’m not seeing him.”
“You’re just having dinner with him and trying out yoga together.”
“Don’t make it into more than it is, Penny.”
My phone pings with a message from Ben.
Ben: Breakfast tomorrow morning?
I type: No. And show it to Penny. “See. There’s nothing there.”
Ben: Dinner tonight followed by wild sex and then breakfast?
I laugh and shake my head, then type: Still no.
“What did he say?” Penny leans in to read the text but I turn the phone away.
“Nothing. He likes to joke around.” I check the time on a clock on the wall. “Where’s Dalton?”
“Working late.” Penny looks suddenly evasive and that makes me nervous. She is a horrible liar. “He’s having trouble with a client.”
“Which one?”
Penny moves away and starts to set the table. “I don’t remember.”
I put my glass down and follow her. “Which one, Penny?”
She pushes some hair out of her face. “If I tell you, you can’t say anything to him. Promise me.”
“I promise.”
“It’s a couple of his actual clients. He thinks someone in this building is pressuring them to drop him. Right now it’s not a big deal, but I can tell it bothers him. It’s not crushing his business or anything; it’s a matter of pride. It has me wondering if we should move, Kylie. I mean, is this place really worth it?”
My hands clench at my sides. “Does he have any idea who is going after him?”
Penny’s eyes widen. “Even if he did I wouldn’t tell you. Don’t get involved, Kylie. He can handle this. Maybe we don’t belong here anymore—any of us.”
And let them win? I don’t say it, but the question rocks through me.
“We should go back to talking about Ben. I think you two would be good together.” Her voice raises a few playful octaves. I let her off the hook and drop the conversation about Dalton because I know she won’t crack.
“Ben and I would be good, until we’re not,” I scoff. “Ben reminds me of dad. He doesn’t charge people for half of the work he does. He’s been between projects ever since I met him. That would drive me insane. I need structure. He and I would last a day.”
“But you do like him?”
“Mom liked Dad. She must have even loved him, but that wasn’t enough, was it?” I know this is a bad topic. Penny and I have never been able to see eye to eye on what happened between our parents. I think my father was selflessly selfish. It sounds like an impossible way to be, but he managed it. He’d give our last dollar away to someone who needed it, forgetting we needed it too. Penny admires that as heroic. No, heroic was our mother who found ways to pay the bills after he emptied her bank account. “They were two very different people. They had to know it wouldn’t work.”
“You are not Mom and Ben is not Dad.”
She doesn’t mean it as an insult, but it strikes me that way. I’ve always fallen miles short of my mother. She’s tougher than I am. Demands more of the people around her than I do. Her career trajectory blows mine out of the water. When Penny reminds me I am not our mother all I can think is . . . no, sadly I’m not.
We’re quiet
for a little while.
“Ben is a good guy, Kylie. Maybe you should let your heart take the lead—”
“Yeah, that works out well for me, doesn’t it?”
“This is different Kylie. You’re not a college kid anymore. Ben isn’t that guy either. Don’t make him pay for something he isn’t guilty of. It might be time to trust someone again.”
“I did yoga today, Penny. Hot yoga. For over five minutes. Baby steps.”
“It’ll work out, Kylie.” Penny pats my leg.
“Do you ever wonder what it was like between Mom and Dad before we were born? Was it ever good? It had to be good at some point, right?”
“I like to think it was.” Penny leans her head back the same way, and we’re both staring at the ceiling when Dalton comes in. “I wish we could have been there to see it.”
“Is the sky falling?” he asks as he walks in, looking up too.
I draw in a deep breath but keep my eyes fixed on the ceiling. “We’re trying to figure out how our parents ended up together. It’s like a tiger and a weasel decided to get married. Completely different species with no chance at a future.”
Penny shakes her head. “Neither of them were perfect.”
“But they should have known they would be bad for each other.”
“I see this is an upbeat evening.” Dalton pours himself a Scotch. “Penny? Kylie?”
I decline with a wave. I’ve already had a glass, and I don’t want to get mushy or emotional. Alcohol and I don’t mix well.
Penny walks over and gives Dalton a lingering kiss. When it ends, she hugs him and asks, “How was your day?”
He holds her to him and kisses her forehead. “Frustrating, but happily over.”
“Kylie went to yoga with Ben today,” Penny announces cheerfully.
“Should we put helmets on and duck because pigs are flying?” For all Dalton’s bluster he’s got a sharp sense of humor I can appreciate. He’s good for Penny, and that’s all that matters to me.
I stand and make my way toward the door.
“Where are you going?” Penny asks, sounding worried.
“Back to my place.”
“To stare at you know what?”
“My vision board.”
“Stay and have dinner with us.” Penny pouts, but I don’t give in.
Seeing Dalton with Penny reminds me why I started the wall. I knew the day would come when one of the egomaniacs in the building decided to take another swipe at us. It was only a matter of time. I played nice with them and waited, but that doesn’t mean my punch is ready to be delivered. All I need now is a name. Luckily, I can probably get it with one phone call. “You two enjoy dinner without me. No need to worry. I’m off to bed. Relaxing is exhausting.”
Dalton chuckles. “Say hi to Ben for me.”
“I’m not seeing him tonight.” Dalton opens his mouth to say more, and I wave for him to stop. “I’m not seeing him period.”
“He says you’re already smitten.”
“He’s delusional.”
“She likes him,” Penny assures Dalton as I walk away.
I leave that conversation alone. Penny’s happy. She won’t be if she knows what I’m planning. She won’t sleep a wink. It’s best she doesn’t know. It’s for her own good.
A short time later I end a call with my building mole—Alex has been very informative today, but we’ve decided no more phone calls. We need to be more careful. Tonight he has a good idea who might be messing with Dalton, and he’ll get back to me when he knows more.
I’m done waiting for confirmation on everything. It’s time for action. I take a push pin and jam it into one of the photographs, piercing one man in the forehead. Even if he isn’t the one who’s causing trouble for Dalton, it’ll send a message. These men think they are untouchable, that they can’t be taken down. They’re about to see how very wrong they are.
CHAPTER TEN
Ben
“Opal called me today.” My sister Bianca stands in her kitchen looking at me like she’s caught me with my hand in the cookie jar.
“Of course she did.” I grab a soda from her fridge and lean in to look at my nephew on the video baby monitor, fast asleep. “I can only imagine what she told you.” Once a week I pick one sister and have dinner at her house. Bianca is by far the best cook but also the pushiest. I’ll get something delicious served with a side of unsolicited advice.
“Who in the world was that woman you brought with you? I checked with the girls; none of them know her.” Bianca stirs the pasta sauce, fills a spoon, and offers it to me for a taste.
“More oregano.”
“That’ll be the only bite you get if you don’t start spilling the beans. You got kicked out. That’s not like you. Opal said the woman is really high strung.”
“It’s none of Opal’s business.” I know before Bianca replies. My response was too quick and firm. It gave me away.
“Where did you meet her?” Bianca stares me down. It’s a large kitchen, but suddenly it feels much smaller.
“We’ve known each other a little while. She’s the sister of that girl Penny I told you about. She’s a CFO of an international company. Very successful.”
“No, no, no,” Bianca replies, shaking her head vehemently. “You aren’t getting involved with a woman like that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You make enough money on your own. You need a woman who—”
“Who I have nothing in common with?”
“Someone who will take care of you.” She adjusts the collar of my shirt the same way she would with her son.
I know she loves me. That’s what makes setting boundaries hard. “You are an incredible mother. I’ve seen you at soccer games. When Lee scores you light up. The game finishes and you’re there with orange slices and juice boxes. That boy runs into your arms, and I’m shocked you don’t burst with pride. You love staying home, and I respect that.” She blushes and waves me off, but I keep going. “Bridgette teaches like she’s holding the future of the world in her hands and maybe she is. She walks around humming those songs, and she celebrates when a kid in her class goes up a reading level. She doesn’t want to stay home with her children, and I also respect that.”
“I can’t see you with some cold-hearted businesswoman.”
“I can’t either. Does she have to be cold-hearted to be successful?”
“I’m not saying that.”
I put an arm around her shoulder. “You are, without even realizing it.” I make my way back to the pot of sauce on the stove and give it a stir. “I was blessed with four sisters. Four shining examples of how different women can be and somehow still be happy. Becky trains horses. You hate horses. You’re different, but equally wonderful.”
Bianca the lecturer does not like being lectured. She folds her arms across her chest. “I don’t know this Kylie, but do you really want a woman who will constantly put her career before you?”
“I want a partner—one I connect with—whatever that ends up looking like. But Kylie is so much more than her job. When she’s ready I’d love for you to meet her. Who knows, you might actually like her.”
“Opal didn’t.”
“Would you expect her to?” I grin and give her my best little brother puppy dog eyes. “Have a little faith in me. I’m not twelve.”
“Just tell me why. Give me a good reason why a woman like Kylie is a better match for you than anyone we’ve set you up with.”
“Because she challenges me. She’s smart. She’s funny—sometimes. I love her wit and now that I’ve started to get to know her, I want to know more. It’s really that simple.”
“I get that,” she huffs and rolls her eyes. “But I still think you’re wrong. You’d be so much happier with—”
“I appreciate your opinion, but it doesn’t change how I feel. So please don’t do that thing you do.”
“What thing?”
“When you have a four-way call with the o
thers and gang up on me. Don’t make your plans. Don’t conspire. Sit this one out and trust me. Tell them to do the same. They’ll listen to you.”
“You really like this one?”
“I do.”
A cry sounds from the baby monitor. “Charlie will be back with Lee soon. Could you check on the baby?”
“Absolutely.”
“He’ll need a diaper change.”
“On it.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Kylie
I liked playing dominos when I was little. Not the game but setting them up in intricate patterns and then tipping the first one and watching them fall. The satisfaction of knowing one small movement could have such a big impact resonated with me. Instant gratification that made the work I did all worth it.
This wall, this masterpiece I’ve created, is just another set of dominos. It took an enormous amount of setup but I’ve already tipped over the first piece, and tonight I got word that everything fell as planned.
Judge Byron Snyder has left the state. He’s fled. I’m sure he’s not on the back of a produce truck heading to some shack. He probably has a mansion in the Catskills he’ll hide comfortably in. But the comfort will end there.
It started with just a rumor. Judge Snyder was a dog. His wedding vows were as solid as Jell-O. Pair that with power and the combination becomes dangerous. A woman coming before his court would be offered a way out. A lifeline. The details of the exchange were never clear. What was clear was the astronomical amount of money paid to intimidate her. So why wasn’t it public? Because power can silence one woman. And if that woman believes she’s alone, the odds that she’ll stand up are even lower.
It came to me after a meeting at work. There were rumbles of a class action suit that might impact one of our competitors. It got me thinking, one woman probably wouldn’t out the judge unless she knew how many other people had dealt with the same thing. There truly is power in numbers. That’s where the hard work comes in.
I pull up the news bulletin again and smile. Of the thirty-six packets I anonymously mailed to the women I identified as potential victims of the judge, it looks like sixteen came forward and joined forces. Included in the packet was the name of a lawyer I knew would chomp at the bit to take on their cases. Judging by the quotes in this news article she’s on board already.