Part 3
The reason why I jumped was because I needed to be sure I’d be out of Death Drive’s sight and the only ways I could get to the floor on the side of the building he could not watch were by either breaking down locked doors to get access to the windows or doing what I did: he could not, in any way, see two KEN walking out the building door or the gambit would be ruined.
I used The Darkest in the same way I did inside Ryo’s dream-like subdimension on the first activation, by having the anti-flames in a layer enveloping my body instead of condensing it on a single spot. I guessed it would cushion my fall or at least let me heal faster than normal so I could move unnoticed by an alternative path Kouma had traced for me on a map of the school (and would possibly have hand-waved as part of her ability had I asked about it).
Frankly, my expectations were exceeded: in such short distance of four floors it actually reduced my terminal velocity to nearly nothing mid-air, making me not ‘land’ as much as ‘gently hover’ to the ground. Gravity found a new way to mess with me: just when I started learning about Physics in order to bend Space and Time properly, something like this happens…
It was out of my comfort-zone to say the least.
My first impulse was to look around and make sure that, despite what Kouma Yon told me, there was no one around at the exact time. It did not surprise me to see she was right again, although it was obvious she’d be considering the scripted phone call and all.
After placing the Bluetooth device on my ear I stretched just to be sure my body was okay, not for the first time after the ‘losing an arm’ incident, and started running through the route she drew to me. As I passed by trees and waited precise amounts of time to hurry to the next pre-marked stop while taking care not to slip or fall, as to ensure the timing would remain perfect and I wouldn’t be seen by anyone who didn’t see me in the first timeline which could unleash a chain reaction of magnificent proportions and hellish results.
Scouting to avoid others was easier with the enhanced awareness I had now that my Shugoshin was active: the less I focused on my vision the more I could sense the thermal levels around me and tell the difference, which explained quite a lot on the subject of how Ayaka’s could fight so viciously or the disorientation of the monster in Ryo’s dream-world when I got rid of that particular trace with The Darkest.
There was a lot at stake and I could only wonder if I still had the skill to make something like that happen or, if I didn’t, I could use the new acquired one to ensure the best outcome possible. Thus I began to ponder on it, because if Kouma, Ayaka and even that psychopath guy had somewhat complex ones I should get to consider its limitations to raise my chances of success, which meant saving someone’s life.
If I were to describe it based on appearance, I’d say it was just improbably malleable black anti-fire. Low damage but a lot of variety in possibilities of usage, along with unusual and unlikely sub-effect while being very exhaustive: it was hard to believe my power meant for surveillance alone or long-term fighting.
Don’t fool yourself, the purpose was clear.
It was made for you after all.
If you mean ‘assassination and deception’, I have to argue it’s only half right.
Like I said, don’t fool yourself: this is tailor-made.
Just strong enough to kill but not the kind of power you’d bring to a battle if you could help it in most forms, and visually flashy looking enough to keep others away and yourself concealed from the most dangerous enemies’ radar may their eyes not be on you.
So the reason why my attack power is so limited it’s because it’s a very broad ability?
Think of it this way: there’s a limit to a Shugoshin’s power and it is inversely proportional to the area it covers.
The broader your range is in reality warping, the less you will of this limited power spread over the span of it.
Still with me so far?
Yes.
Good, good.
Now consider that you have to fight others with the same growth potential, probably to death: in a situation like that, what do you think would be the obvious way to spend your points?
To focus on a particular deathly ability and raise it to its maximum potential compressing all of it on a single point: a better way would be with 80-85% on the specific ability and the rest on a sub-effect, like a ‘blade’ covering a particular area.
Correct: is your ability one of those?
No.
And why do you guess?
Because I don’t need 80% on the specific power: I just need to be strong enough not to be instantly killed by monsters and to overcome any human, so I can trick and defeat them because that’s how I fight. Therefore I can spend the rest on more valuable effects of it rather than in raw power, which would be a waste in my case. In comparison to the ‘blade’, mine would be more of a ‘bamboo with spikes’; in direct confrontation it would break, but the thing is I am not looking for a clash of weapons.
You aim for the opponent’s meat.
That’s exactly where it works just fine, because if I absolutely have to use something like that I’d rather hit just once.
You mean in battle or in life?
You know the answer already.
As always with you, ‘both’.
The phone I exchanged with Ryo for mine vibrated once and I did not need to pick it up because I knew it was Kouma making sure I was ready for the big halt. For the next 45 seconds I was supposed to stand by until the mass of people would pass and I could move again. Would have been an eternity of moments if I didn’t know that I would be able to see Ryo in action, as this was the one time in the route I was planned to follow when I’d ‘meet’ her.
I watched her walk and gesticulate with my phone in her ear, mostly as I would and sometimes as I should. Seeing her as a part of something like this had a certain appeal I won’t bother to deny even with the danger: it was like she was made for it, and I hoped she was feeling better by then. Sure there was a conflict in her life we did not have the time to talk about yet, but she finally made the transition from normal highschooler to girl with powers who cons criminals; as far as I was concerned, she dreamed about that day for years and envied me for it, although it’s arguable whether she honestly believed what I said or just appreciated the stories. Ironically as it might sound, I wanted her life too.
Everything was going according to the plan.
Ryo had been following Kouma’s instructions; Akane operated with surgical precision the loop pedal with the necessary snippets of my voice; Megumi would stay assisting her and getting the calls from Kouma but she was actually our trump card as she would be our secondary field agent in case something went wrong; Kouma would walk around unnoticed too one step ahead of us every time and ensure the situation would follow the planned route at whatever cost.
However, the moment I realized I thought ‘everything was going according to the plan’ I knew I should have known better than this and got my heart more ready for a disaster than usual and this is coming from someone who lives by ‘prepare for the worst, hope for the best’.
So I stood by.
That’s when I saw Rin approaching Ryo and knew it would all go to hell because Rin did not know that was not me and she had a certain look on her face as she held her father’s hand and went towards the girl disguised as Koukishin Shinzou. I dreaded that face so much.
The ‘teehee, I’m going to introduce you to my parents’ face. And it’s not just girls who do that kind of stuff, acting mature and cold to hide insecurity or more specifically the fear of rejection, so I couldn’t really blame her. Regardless of gender, some people are just closer to our conceptions of ‘maidens’ at heart than ‘commanders’, although nothing says one cannot be both. But Rin was one severely repressed broken bird and I could tell the cathartic performance and sickly sweet talk with her father gave her and injection of positivism and endorphin rush.
Of all times, she had to act like a lov
e-struck teenager at that point: when lives are at risk, when I’m dealing with all sorts of trouble, when I had lost a very important thing to me, while she knew I had unfinished business with someone else. She had to pick today, because she was in a better mood than usual, to make her move. Rin had to choose this day to be like that. This only made me think of how Rin’s constant need to impose the mood was because she couldn’t just read it and that was the only way she’d know what was going on.
But what bothered me the most was to read her father’s lips from distance as they got closer and I could only try and predict what would happen at the moment she’d wonder why there was a girl wearing the clothes of her romantic interest and looking exactly like him while ruining the plan’s perfectly synchronized timing.
“…Rin, did you say Koukishin?”
Yeah, I should have considered that even in a smaller city, as long as I’m in Japan some people might know the name ‘Koukishin’. That could mean a lot of trouble.
While I was busy trying to figure out a way to get us out of that situation without making everything so far be a waste a flash of colors, albeit slightly less colorful than usual, passed by and did something that affected us all.
It is always a matter of perspective.
I saw Megumi kiss Ryo and ruin the plan in great scale while doing her best so it wouldn’t be ruined by someone else; Ryo’s eyes opening in complete shock, still too lacking in field experience to know that the fictional rule of ‘whenever there is a plan in sight something is bound to go terribly wrong’ actually applied to reality as well; Akane probably saw something that angered her in a way, but implied she’d have a chance in the future because Megumi did not seem entirely adverse to kissing girls; Kouma was bound to be murderously furious by now one way or another and in the most potentially damaging example of all, Rin saw a Shin-tsu she would approach being taken in the way she wanted the most by someone who could not rival her in class, leadership or guitar playing.
I guess rich people get heartbroken too.
Knowing just thinking that made me a horrible person inside, I watched her consternation-filled eyes with a similar look her father gave her. It was stupid of her to expect more when the boundaries were established; it was idealistic to think something that started so wicked and wrong could become a proper relationship despite its roots. No one said teen rebellion is all sweetness, and there is a reason why growth is necessary. I still felt bad for her to get that kind of shocking view but at the same time I knew she had it coming one way or another. Not a matter of ‘what’, but ‘how’.
Rin didn’t run away crying, instead just staying there and looking back as he guided her away on the opposite direction back to what was left of the festival. Megumi ran while picking up her phone soon after the kiss, like it was a hit-and-run operation. Ryo just stood there but picked up the phone when D.D. called ‘me’ once again.
And this, well, this is when stuff got really, really weird.
In case things went out of script, the calls should be transferred to the phone I was holding so I could improvise lines for damage control. No one eve worried about my talent to do so, and not just because I took pride in being able to perform impromptu whether the subject was music or life, but because when I said ‘it was just something I came up with at the spur-of-the-moment’ I meant ‘I pondered over every possible scenario ever beforehand like every good comedian or performer should’.
You don’t just go on a stage and play whatever is on your mind, you execute combinations of riffs and licks you trained for quite a while altering them to fit the musical scale and overall idea of the composition; if it truly was randomness they wanted, any member of the audience would do. Improvisation took a lot of preparation.
I was ready for anything Death Drive could throw at me and all Ryo had to do was make sure he wouldn’t notice her lips weren’t in synchrony with the voice as it was a three-way call with her end muted. Well, almost anything.
His scripted line didn’t change at all, as if it was pre-recorded.
I panicked and felt like hanging up immediately, but managed to keep it until the exact point where the conversation was supposed to break on the script. I knew for sure that was virtually impossible: Chaos Theory and the Butterfly Effect simply do not work that way. It was absolutely preposterous to consider things would go smoothly on track after Megumi’s intervention, to the point where only bad time-travel novels would ignore the change in pace.
Let me say this once and for all: there is no such thing as a clean and easy time travel plot, under no circumstances. The moment you act outside of what was supposed to, the whole scenario is bound to change sooner or later because of cause and effect, like dominoes falling one by one. Hell, even having anyone who didn’t help me in the first timeline collaborate with us now was bound to affect the scenario quickly, for they would not be where they were and that would affect the actions and reactions of other persons as a direct consequence shaping the world into something unpredictable.
To have Death Drive say the exact same line despite all that change made this whole thing entirely unbelievable.
While a ripple in the water takes a while to affect something in large scale, no one with a brain could deny a disturbance like that had to make things go off script, because a) he saw something he didn’t in the first timeline, which would alter the course of information on his brain and b) the timing of the plan was done for and unless he had a script of his own to follow. Yet such an impossible ‘coincidence’ took place therefore it was safe to assume the game had to be even more rigged than I initially thought. Whom it was supposed to help… now that was an absolute mystery.
It’s times like this I hate mystery even without capital letters.
No matter how much I didn’t like the idea of even pondering on the subject, Kouma could have easily set me up. It made sense. She could have been sided with Death Drive to begin with or even planning to catch the two of us, killing two birds with one stone. A two-way trick; I trusted her to some extent, but they don’t call it a ‘confidence game’ over nothing.
But the silliest thing I could do at that point was to quit.
“Kouma, he’s cheating.” I said when she picked up after two and a half rings. Guess she didn’t see this one coming. “He might be really killing her and getting ready to escape right now. Hell, she might be already dead.”
And it would be my fault.
“How do you know?”
Naturally a lie came to mind.
“Feedback.”
“What?” Kouma’s voice was getting breathy. “What do you mean?”
“I heard feedback from the noise that happened by my side on his end. He’s not holding the phone anymore; it’s on speaker mode now. It wasn’t before so I take it Death Drive probably got his hands busy.”
Such an obvious perversion of the truth yet if she outright denied its possibility it would be like she walked with a shirt with ‘traitor’ written all over it. Her reply was unimpressive.
“There was no feedback whatsoever, what are you talking about?”
A creature with no creativity could not do much other than try and buy time. I would not let her, especially if Reikoku-sensei’s life was in danger.
“I’m going in.”
“Shin-tsu, don’t! You’ll ruin everything! Stick to the pl-”
But I hung up and ran fast enough to feel my lungs burning before she could say anything else. I knew it would ruin her plan that was supposed to protect us all, but I’d do it. I’d walk into his trap. Why?
Because ‘me finding out the scheme’ was certainly not in her calculations one way or another, but there was a possible outcome that would save Reikoku-sensei even if Kouma was actually being honest. It was simple, crude and effective.
All I needed to do was to assassinate Death Drive.
“GUH!”
The taste and texture of bile filled the inside of my mouth and escaped it a millisecond before I could cover my
lips with my crossed hands. I burned feverish and felt excruciating pain in every muscle or joint I had, my mind wavering and heart pulsing like a collapsing temple. As I watched the world spin around me I knew it was hopeless; if that was how broken I was, if that was how I got whenever I just considered murdering someone not possessed by an entity…
…I would only have one shot.
Waiting for your command.
“Huh.” I spit the vomit on the ground and bit my inferior lip hard enough to feel my canines pierce it. “SET ME ABLAZE, THE DARKEST!”
Halfway the growl the body of the young man some knew as Koukishin Shinzou was entirely embraced by the ghastly absence-of-flames and, as if watching someone else, I saw the position of my hands turn from wide open to claws. Anatomically speaking, my body contorted to an aerodynamically improbable wolf-like stance before I let myself run like the predator I needed to become for that sinister task I knew I wouldn’t be able to perform without losing my sanity over it.
The psychosomatic effects never stopped afflicting me and every step was grief, but I had the strength to keep on moving in me; where I was getting it from, I had not the faintest clue. And even without Kouma I could have found out on my own exactly where the egomaniac monster would hide and that was where I was heading. The room in the school he’d claim was made for him. The room that belonged to a club that was no longer.
The one with a plaque that had ‘d.m.c.’, the initials of both his birth name and our club, written on it.
An unpleasant coincidence, very much like me getting there and realizing the plaque was no longer there. He saw it, knew I’d look for it and probably took it somewhere else in the building to make sure I’d follow him.
Which I would instantly if I didn’t have to get Megumi out of my way for her own good.
“Bro, what the heck is going on? When that Kouma girl called I thought she was going to chew my… but yeah, she just wanted me to come here and meet you. She said you needed help.” No, Megumi, Kouma wanted you to delay or stop me. “What can I do?”
Kouma knew it was too dangerous for Megumi to come along. Of all of us Megumi was, against all odds when it came to looks, the most ‘normal’ and defenseless one: even without powers, Akane was paranoid and sneaky enough to be dangerous. What could Megumi do, really? Annoy the guy with bass music she didn’t use the correct nomenclature for? It was just electro house, for Heaven’s sake: adding wobble bass and random samples does not change the genre.
“That’s right, I need your help.” Denying it would only make it harder for me. “Do you still have that golden paper clip?”
“Wait, dude, that was months ago.”
“Do you?”
She quickly searched her bag and it didn’t surprise me that someone as obsessed with oddities (because even though the story about her eyes is probably true, it’s obvious she developed a taste for the weird over the years) would keep an object like that around.
“Here; what are you going to do, pick a lock?”
“Kind of. Give me your phone too. Don’t have the time to explain.” Cutting her way of communication with Kouma would help me avoid undesirable surprise, but even when she handed me the phone I made sure to check if it was set to vibrate and held it on my back so she wouldn’t hear or see it in case our common friend called. “Need you to make a fuss to get people distracted. Biggest you can without getting caught, ok? Do not get in trouble.”
“Alright but-”
“Megumi, now!”
The colorful girl muttered something under her breath and stormed off clearly infuriated which was expected and understandable: I knew how she hated being ordered but I also knew I needed her to be safe. While I could be sure she was not to take this to heart in the long run, it didn’t make the task any more pleasant. If being an adult meant knowing when to do what you must rather than what you want to, I had been an adult for quite a while and it was absolutely nothing special.
I knew what I had to do then so I reactivated The Darkest to remain as concealed as I could.
As I began to run through the building’s floors looking for the plaque, since finding would probably lead to finding the maniac who took it, I fell the phone vibrating and the moment I saw the name on the screen I pressed the ‘end call’ button to make sure Kouma would know she couldn’t reach Megumi even if she wanted to. Next, I looked at the on-screen clock and decided to do my best to reach Ryo by calling her the exact moment her next synchronized call from Death Drive disconnected to warn her in a way she would know it was really me instead of having Kouma act as an impersonator through text without wasting too much time and gathering unneeded attention not to avoid ruining the plan but to keep the farce to Kouma.
After a disturbing moment of rising desperation the time her line would become free finally came.
The phone in my hand vibrated again as I tried to call Shiina Ryo, but it was Akane this time; the moment I was about to punch ‘end call’ I heard the beep on my Bluetooth ear device and from then on I only had one thing in my mind.
Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon. Damn you, Kouma Yon.
Like a mantra it resonated in me as I saw through her improvisation, once again, derivative; as used in an episode of a certain American television show with a conman as a main character, her tactic now was to stop me from reaching Ryo by cluttering my available phone lines. Most if not all modern phones have the poorly thought, albeit occasionally useful, custom of just making calls pop-out on screen even when you’re doing something else, like dialing a number. The problem, at least in my case, lies in the fact I could not block these calls even if I knew how to in this phone specifically because of the nature of this attack. At that point I could not tell whether she was using both hands to control the phones or tricked Akane into desperately calling Megumi out of concern with emotional blackmail of some sort.
My greatest fear, however, was that Kouma would see an even simpler solution.
Since I had Megumi’s phone, which I was sure Kouma knew by now, she assumed it was in her best interest to clutter both lines with calls I wouldn’t pick up. It was wrong of her to think so and the reason why is that, considering how badly the ‘plan’ had failed and was pointless at this point whether she was an ally to Death Drive or not, she could just go and instead call Ryo, who would pick up promptly. It would make her unreachable to me by any means that weren’t text, and even so it could be said Death Drive took control of the phone lines I had in my possession or had some fake message software or similar. It would make her worry but would keep her under Kouma’s domain.
I needed to save her.
My mind was splitting into several sections as I kept running around the building looking for the plaque and fending off Kouma and Akane’s calls while trying to connect with Ryo until the moment I came across the two of my targets at once: at the same time I found the right door I also heard Ryo’s voice through the earpiece.
“Hello?”
There was so much I needed to say, but I didn’t have the time. The enemy that held Reikoku-sensei hostage was in front of me and for all I knew she was dying a little more every second I wasted; on the other hand, Kouma was bound to look for Ryo or me and my main concern was that Ryo wouldn’t take me seriously and walk straight into whatever trap Kouma Yon laid, whether it was for just me or not.
What if Ryo is involved in this scheme too?
“…”
“Hello?” She tried again. “Who is this?”
…isn’t it obvious? Then I’ll gladly die by her hands.
“Abort mission. Stay away from Kouma. Hide now.”
“Shin-tsu. It is really you.”
Savvy or not, to get to that extent she probably got text messages already.
“Trust me.”
Considering whom I was, that sentence sounded absolutely ridiculous. I was a con, a lying demon, a manipulator, a trickster, the last person you should trust especially when on the other side of the fence you have a friend you grew with, who has been there for you when you were sick, who had always loved you one way or another; I was just the other person, the guy from the internet, a glorified stranger who was probably faking it whenever the two of you would talk about any subject and had matching views. I was no one.
“I will.”
I could feel my heart beat everywhere in my body. Sure, Ryo could have said that and then betray me: I wouldn’t blame her. She made me happy at that time, like I really belonged somewhere. Like I finally had someone even if I had nothing else I could truly call mine.
I felt loved.
So I hung up, held Ayaka’s knife by the blade with my right hand and got myself ready to open the door and throw it at Death Drive giving priority to the head but would be okay with settling for the heart. Due to my own issues, I would probably lose my mind the moment I saw someone be killed by my own hands and, in case I ever did, would probably wake up in a hospital only to be either sent back to the Koukishin clan or a juvenile council if grandpa was finally done trying to give me chances to actually live my life the way I want. Couldn’t say I had no regrets, but it was beyond the point.
“Here goes nothing.”
I slammed the door open with my left arm and walked in the classroom ready to give up my sanity to kill a man who murdered many. I was not, however, ready to see my teacher on a chair covered in irregularly placed barbed wire and something metallic on her head that even before full comprehension made me lose hope and the ground under my feet. When faced with her body tainted in red I realized the anti-flames were gone along with my concentration and whatever resistance to gravity my body could have by standing up.
My knees faltered and I felt to the floor as the bastard laughed.
“Nyahahaha~~!”
In front of me, trepanation; her perforated cranium still had the drill he used in it. Blood everywhere and it was hard to pinpoint where the dried ended and the fresh began. She remained a perfect portrait of still-life, too beautiful in her peaceful sleep that I could only imagine would be eternal.
We were too late to save her to begin with.
His sadistic laughter seemed to echo inside my brain again and again in a multitude of hellish undecipherable noise. Chalk dust floated visibly because of the light coming across the window. I could not move once again. Insanity rose. One more person died because of me. As I saw Reikoku-sensei’s body I remembered Kouma’s words once again: ‘What if you can’t save her?’ she said regarding Ryo, but the one needing to be saved was someone else. And I failed her. I failed them all and above that I failed myself.
Reikoku-sensei was seriously injured.
My legs trembled, the knife in my hand wavered, I as a whole collapsed.
“…”
The murderer tilted his poorly-shaven head while grinning, looking just as much as a half-Japanese Nosferatu as he did one year ago.
“Hey, you’re cross-dressing again! Is it a hobby of yours I didn’t hear of or something?” He said, regarding the time when he chased after Shiina Ryo. “Will we ever meet with you in male clothing?”
“…”
“What’s the matter, where are your usual snarky retorts? Cat ate your tongue? The so called ‘greatest of all liars’ can’t handle a little manslaughter?”
“…”
“Right, you can’t just kill another person: your little Chinese friend was kind enough to give me the information for free, along with where you were now. She must really, really hate you; can’t blame her, so do I. But to think you’d be stupid enough to tell your location to someone who feels this way about you… Is this all penance to you? You think getting killed will erase the sins you committed? How many lives do you think you ruined so far, you bloody fool? How many times do you think you need to die to make up for it?”
“…”
“Me, I’m a criminal: I kill for money or vengeance and it set me aside from modern society because our values differ. My victims, however, are all done with. With my methods, it usually happens while they are already buried so they have time to reflect and despair over what brought them there because I never in my whole life did it without having a reason to, although whether you’d call it a good reason or not is up to debate. They wake up with no hope and I’m sure that after the screaming and trying to claw their way out of it like in the movies they just calm down and realize their mistake. After all, what is a coffin other than a confessional you stay in for a long time?”
“…”
“But you, you won’t change despite knowing how bad you are. You really think you are the hero despite all you’ve done to so many; was it just me, I’d be perfectly okay with just killing you and be done with it. When it’s personal I tend to do things quicker because, you see, I don’t get paid extra. I have no illusions over the matter of what I do being evil, but to think that despite your actions you’d walk away unharmed because of your family’s influence while I, a plebeian, would rot in jail for what anyone with a brain would consider smaller penalties... this is what is wrong with this country, no, this world. I know you can be a bastard when you want to, but it was just because of your family. And no, it is not fear I have of you: I despise you as a fellow human. If the rumors are to be believed, you are the most disgusting creature in existence.”
“…”
“Well, I’m no hero, but since no one stepped up a scum like me has to do the job. You and your little girlfriend messed with the wrong person because I have no problem putting my life on the line just to set things right according to my standards and while I have the power, my word is the law. She ruined her life the day she crossed my path. You ruined your life the day you crossed my path. The two of you will pay and under these circumstances, I’ll give you special treatment. Be grateful.”
“…”
“I will dismember, no, that would be too good for you; what I’m going to do first is render your arms and legs useless surgically so you can feel them and know they are there but not be able to move them. Then I’m going to find Ryo and take the two of you to a room with only a clock covered in duct tape so you will hear it tick but never know the time, and do you know what I’ll do next? Hurt her in every way I can while you watch, and boy, you will watch all of it even if I have to shove caffeine down your throat, cut your eyelids and fill the room with mirrors so you can’t close your eyes or look away. Other than making you a cripple, I won’t lay a finger on you; I’ll give her everything I prepared for both her and for you, including acts that will put me in a different class of criminals.”
“…”
“Then, when I break her mind, only then I will give her the chance of killing you for her freedom: the you who watched her pain but didn’t move a finger to help her, the one who is at fault for her suffering this much for countless days. The death she would have gotten if she was alone when she messed with me would have been way cleaner if you weren’t around, and you can be sure I’ll let her know that. It is all on you.”
“…”
It was like every little word that flew out of his mouth was handcrafted to make me furious and bring the worst of me to the surface.
“And I win either way, as the disfigured Shiina Ryo marches towards you: if she kills herself you won’t be able to bear with the guilt, and if you are the one who is killed well, then I can just shoot her in the legs before I aim for the face. She did annoy me, so there’s absolutely no way I’ll let her walk away from this just because she cooperated: as everyone in the criminal side, I believe in reduction of penalty only when it applies to me not being behind bars. Those who were wronged know.”
“…”
Letting him talk as I recovered from the shock was a good idea. In a few seconds I would get up and end this once and for all. He couldn’t match me in close combat
, especially with The Darkest on me. The environment was favorable. He didn’t bring a gun or such, while I had a room full of weapons even if you ignore Ayaka’s knife. The chairs, the chalk, the floor, the desks, the windows, the curtains, the wood corners, the walls, Megumi’s golden paperclip, cell phones, hair extensions barbed wire, Reikoku’s body, my own body, The Darkest, oxygen, carbon, gravity, the world and everything in it I could reach for: humans saw most of them as objects, persons or immaterial concepts, but when I was like that they were all tools and weapons and all mine on top of that. It would not be a fight: I hated the idea of fights deep down. It would be one-sided murder and I would make it happen even if I had to use my beloved teacher’s corpse as a human-sized club to beat him to a pulp.
If the room was ‘all weapons’ there was only one target to destroy.
“I won’t let you forget it’s all because of y-”
A brick came flying, piercing through the window and landed along with shards of glass right between Death Drive and me, intrusively coming from the side very much like a ball in a foosball table. Ironic, as I felt the game was set a long time ago.
I looked out the freshly-made hole in the glass window and saw the not-so-distant sniper hanging from a tree, raising her fist against the sky like the world’s most accomplished pitcher and I knew exactly what Megumi could do.
The unpredictable action took us both by surprise and distracted the maniac for long enough to someone I knew to come inside the room through the door, crouch by my side, run, step on a chair and then a table, kick it rather than merely jump, propel herself like a falling star and reach the killer with the speed of lightning and an unidentified object in her left hand that made my gaze go to the floor searching for the knife I dropped.
When I heard the fizz I understood why Kouma had a second phone and the violent convulsion Death Drive had when it landed on the side of his neck.
The model was unknown to me but not the concept so it was easy to recognize an electroshock weapon (also known as ‘stun gun’) disguised as a mobile device. One could argue she was not using it to its original purpose, or at least the one the fabricant claims is theraison d’être in order to avoid federal eyes: to me it was absolutely obvious she did not buy the object for self-defense. Hell, she knew martial arts well enough for that purpose; this was another weapon of hers, which concerned me even more as I wondered about the effects of electricity on the foe that was now twitching on the ground.
He had a pacemaker.
“Rest assured, Shin-tsu, I read studies on this: pacemakers don’t seem to be affected by stun guns. It amazes me how deep your personal issues go, to worry about the life of someone who performed trepanation on your beloved teacher even though you were considering sacrificing your mind in order to kill him yourself.” Reading my mind not for the first time that day, Kouma Yon looked at me and spoke carelessly. “I told you I would save you. I just didn’t tell you it would be from the killing instinct within yourself and the consequences it would have on you because of your childhood trauma.”
“…she’s dead.”
“No, his ability is very similar to thanatosis: it’s slightly more complicated than I am currently willing to explain but he basically feigns death as in ‘playing possum’, his or someone else’s as long as they are at touch range. Not entirely unexpected, considering his history and even his Freudian nickname. Based on animals that use the technique I can see a few possible defensive and offensive applications for it, which apparently he couldn’t. Such a waste of potential is unforgivable; what other creatures could do with that skill is left to imagination. According to you, I have absolutely none, but even I can comprehend a naturally passive-aggressive predator would benefit greatly from the possibility of being able to both mimicry and render the prey defenseless.”
“Kouma, listen to me. She’s been out of his touch range for a moment now.” It was ridiculous how quickly I could find myself pressured rather than merely willing to get others out of denial when I didn’t have the strength to do anything for my own life. “She’s dead.”
I felt absolutely ridiculous. The boundary of not being able to withstand the sight of murder, despite of being strong enough to incapacitate me immediately and for days on its own, could easily be overcome by the craving to save others? No, not even save; just wanting to get Kouma out of denial was enough, but it shouldn’t be. Was this what my late teacher was talking about, on the whole Messiah complex topic? Morals, traumas and stigmas could be just thrown away amidst the worst conflict to avoid having someone get hurt on a much smaller scale than I was?
At some point I became everyone’s peon.
“She’ll wake up. Poison dripping off the small needles that he materialized on his fingertips is how he did it, which is more realistic and understandable than applying hallucinatory effects to a paper card. It should be off her system soon so don-” Kouma’s speech was interrupted by a single cry from the woman I assumed was dead, followed by feverish shivering that worried me greatly because the screw was still inside her head and could damage her further if she moved too much. The kung fu fighting fashionista just looked at my teacher who stopped altogether to move but still breathed loudly enough to reassure me of the fact she remained alive. “There we go. That should stir up anyone nearby so we can count on some more police and hospital calls, which shall be beneficial to us.”
Death Drive started getting up.
“Ju…just who are you?”
“I see you know Shin-tsu and Ryo, but we haven’t been introduced yet: within my boundary I am the god of possibilities.” Her eyes were expressionless but at that moment she emanated a force so overwhelming I felt my legs shake. Kouma really was something else. “My name is Kouma Yon and more important than Kung Fu, I know Psychology.”
“And who cares? You got in my way too, so you’re dead no-”
“I also know you are trying to bait KEN into killing you over what, soon after doing it, he’d realize out was nothing. The moment when this ability of yours becomes no more a disability has come, for unlike the other times you used it to coerce someone into something the third element knows how the magician’s hat trick works. This was meant to be a masterpiece, wasn’t it? To fool the lying demon who caught you in a way he could never get back at you even if there was a way he would recover from needlessly killing a human being once more. A sick joke funny only to yourself, right? You could not expect anyone to see through this, right? But now he knows too much for it to work. He might not be able to see the whole picture but he won’t kill you now and that’s all you wanted of him in the end. Even I have a considerably bigger chance of getting killed by him right now than you do.”
“…how do you know all that?”
She took a deep breath.
“Well planned time travel and analytic skills alone. You could have done it: you actually made it the first time and it got him insane just like you wanted to. In the first timeline, he almost killed me after going berserk and that was how I learned about my own power. You were going to win against him but you didn’t. You lost once again: your will is meaningless because like I said, I am god within these boundaries. Fighting me is futile, I will defeat you every time and cheat whenever you get close to win. Every movement and idea of yours are mine. So try me. Come at me if you think you’re fast enough to attack before I travel back in time once again with the information of the precise kind of blow you will try to land or cunning trick you’ll play, other than how to get to it by triggering all the right flags once again. At this point, I am invincible. You think you’re going to mess up with the mind of my favorite test subject?” Kouma Yon gave him her grimmest grin. “Not on my watch.”
Death Drive was stunned and he was not the only one.
“You… you little piece of… you ruined everything, goddamn bi-GAAARGH”
Just like that, Daisuke Miyamoto-Chevalier, also known by the self-imposed nickname of Death Drive, died of a heart attack in front of our eyes.
Which was ridiculous and ironic but also definitive and undeniable.
Therefore I crashed for good.
In a moment that could easily have lasted forever in my altered perception I stood there not doing a thing until Kouma set my body in movement forcefully. She slapped me across the face so fast I took a moment to comprehend what exactly had happened and as I fell to the floor she ran back to Reikoku-sensei’s side in order to provide her primary care.
Her attention did not waver as she lectured me.
“Cut it out. You cannot blame yourself for this: it’s not your fault that he followed you here and attacked us, and it’s not your fault he died. You didn’t do this. However, if you waste our chance of saving this woman because of that trauma of yours instead of manning up and taking care of an innocent person who has done nothing but try and reach out for you when you were down, in my eyes and yours you will be a murderer.” Kouma Yon finally managed to stop or at least limit the hemorrhage a good 4 seconds after she was done talking. Her eyes were serious and tender simultaneously, raw and alive as an animal’s; whether it was my altered perception or her own growth, I couldn’t tell. “So don’t give in, Shin-tsu. Stay with me. I need you.”
And there it was: the line before the bass drop, the growl before the breakdown. A conman’s hook.
I bit and licked my inferior lip hurting it once more and felt the taste of blood acting not for the first time as a reality check for me.
“…tell me what I have to do next.”
Kouma’s confusion didn’t show in her face but in her taking five seconds to give me a reply.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You need me to do what? You’re talking to me in simpler terms like you learned to do to connect with me whenever you want me to do something for you, whether it’s answering questions about my psyche or morals or something else. I don’t care whether I’m an experiment to you at this point, just tell me what you want or leave me alone.”
“This isn’t about you.”
“I said I don’t care about your excuses right now, save them. You saw a void I can fill somewhere and now you want me to get up and fix something for you. Spill it.”
I grabbed Ayaka’s knife and got up.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“Doesn’t matter; just tell me what I have to do.”
Walking towards the girl enveloped by the newborn sunset that came through the crack she made in the glass.
“I don’t expect you to forgive me.”
“Tell me what you want.”
When she looked me with her once again cold eyes I clenched my fist tighter on the weapon’s handle by reflex.
“I really love you.”
The last straw she needed to pull.
“Say that one more time and I’ll kill myself in front of your eyes. I’m tired of being told that and then be left alone: no more. Is this what you wanted from the start? Was this part of your plan, you godforsaken beast? Because if yes, go on, I dare you. Hell, I want you to do it. I’m right on the edge here. It’s all on you, girl.” Knife against my throat, my breathing so hard I felt my chest tremble as air moved and emptied my lungs like life was already leaving me every second. I trembled like I was falling apart and was bound to cut myself deep even before she had the time to say anything if I kept unstable like that. “Say it, I beg of you. Give me one last reason. End me.”
Patiently I waited for her to give me my final command.
“I’m sorry.”
“…”
“Shin-tsu, I’m sorry you feel this way.”
“But not for acting the way you did, do or will do. Which implies you honestly believe you are not in the wrong. And I know you for a fact don’t care about good or evil, but rather about but concepts. Damn.” Gently as I could I lowered the weapon to waist level. The time for my melodramatic act was over as I assured the fashionista was still the creature I thought her to be. It made me aware it was serious business we were dealing with or she would not have gone so far, as it would be too bothersome to do so for the world’s laziest multi-talented being. "Sometimes, just sometimes, I really hate you, Kouma Yon.”
“Thankfully, just sometimes. I can live with that in mind, like I shall do regarding the fact you would have done it if I said ‘it’ again yet won’t do it now just because I just ruined the moment for you. Double subversion would feel less gratifying to you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“For such a long-time liar, sometimes it feels like you’re not even putting enough effort in it. You too are a disappointment.”
“Did you learn my craft yet? My so-called ‘art’?”
“There is no such thing as ‘art’, just ‘art admirers’. And yes.” She nodded as if words were not enough to express the depth of comprehension she achieved. “You can stop pretending you’re not shaken up inside now.”
“Thank you.” My hands finally dropped the knife.
I knew I was way too mentally exhausted to make decisions when it got to the point I considered relying on Kouma Yon of all creatures as a moral compass. But when life gives you lemons and they are deathly sour…
“No need to play that role in front of you, good.” The stern look on her face showed no approval, however. “As the few paramedics tried to save me in the first timeline, just before I lost consciousness, I heard a report about the situation on an exploded inter-city bus through their radios: it was supposed to happen around 5 minutes from now, and there were heavy suspicions of terrorism. We won’t get the attention and primary care we need if this happens, and the lack of media coverage for this story might lead to further questioning too. I need you to stop the bomber on the inter-city bus while I focus on keeping Reikoku-sensei alive and setting up the scene to make this look like an isolated incident: having you around could ruin the latter up too.”
Then it hit me.
“You were going to just let those people die if we managed to stop Death Drive before he caught Reikoku-sensei.”
“Not now, Shin-tsu. I have priorities and so should you.”
More lives at stake and now that I knew about it, it was on me. She set me up real good, she did not know for sure I would not be able to reject it yet she bet all her chips on me going out and doing it. I hated myself for not being able to prove whatever unrealistic expectations she had of me wrong, for not being capable to let her down.
Still, I ran.
Fast as I could I advanced, much faster than I could before the Shugoshin was in me but it did not feel fast enough to me: no matter how much I tried, I no longer could bend space and time on command. The Darkest did not need to explain it to me, as I realized how give-and-take the situation was on my own; in exchange for more power I sacrificed potential and there was no easy way to change it back again.
As I ran towards the great fence that separated the eastern area from outer buildings I recognized something that made me stop for a while. Near a small, cabin-like janitor room, there were cameras were different than the ones you saw at schools and hospitals and much more akin to the ones you’d see in secret spy movies: that model was activated by heat, so I could use my skill to pass through unnoticed if I used that area, which would help in case I needed an alibi in the future for I could just say I was still at school while some sort of disaster happened, that is, if I failed.
Awfully convenient, except it was a nightmare in disguise of saving throw.
Pondering over all I knew regarding Reikoku-sensei’s backup plan, it was obvious where she stored that dreadful item of hers. I wanted to scream at myself and say it could not be, but it was just too likely to deny it no matter how high were the regards I had her in. To even consider she’d possibly keep something like that near her students made me severely nauseous; I was actually glad I had only found out about it because otherwise chances were I would have doubts about going so far for the sake of saving her life.
When I found myself standing up on the top of
wall close enough to reach the one pertaining to the next building I got my body ready for jumping higher and climbing because for once during that day I knew exactly what I needed to do to reach my goal.
I was going for Parkour, the art of not just moving around obstacles but use them to your benefit for maximum efficiency. Critical thinking was a must. A wall was not there to block my way, just to be my stepping stone: it was all terrain, a world made purely of it. No more limits: it was time for me to stop thinking of common, linear paths to walk in and start running in vectors.
“Traceur, on.”
A jump into nothingness that ended abruptly when my fingertips touched the walls and from that moment on I was one with everything; a single layer of the flames enveloping my hands and foot, so thin it was not much more than pitch black contour wavering like ink but never leaving for real. It made me feel like I was moving on vacuum, which was probably not far from the truth.
By both using it and deactivating it I alternatively propelled and glued myself on the terrain composed of all things over the houses and buildings of that developing town. At the apex of the nearby constructions of concrete picking the ones closer to touch the skies in altitude in order to avoid being seen I moved but instead of feeling as a hunter I was free like an unparalleled, unleashed beast albeit constrained by the time limit: I was simultaneously carefree and worried sick; I loved being alive and I hated myself; I was a being and I was not.
During that moment I got the same impression I had during the fight against Ryo’s Shugoshin, that it all had been preparation for this. Lately I’ve been getting this feeling quite a lot… every little thing feels like build-up to something else, and it’s supposed to be huge.
Very much like the strength of the wind blowing my skirt.