I step toward her immediately; the small bit of my mind that still feels human draws me to her, as ever. As I approach her, I expect Mauth to pull at me or take over my body, as he did when I encountered the Shrike. But though I feel him there in my mind, still a part of me, he does nothing.
Laia has seen me. "Elias!" She runs to me, throwing herself into my arms, almost sobbing. As she does, my arms come up around her of their own accord, as if it's something I've done many times. I feel strange. No, not strange.
I feel nothing.
"It wasn't the ring," she is saying. "I don't know what the last piece of the Star is, but there might still be time to find out. Will you help me?"
Yes, I want to say.
"No" is what comes out of my mouth.
Shock fills her eyes. And then, just like in the Mariner village weeks ago, she goes completely still. Everything does.
Elias.
The voice in my head is not my own, nor is it the jinn's.
Do you know me?
"I--I don't."
Long have I waited for this day, for you to release the last shreds that bound you to the world of the living.
"Mauth?"
The same, Elias. Look.
My body remains before Laia, frozen in time. But my mind travels to a familiar place. I know this sallow yellow sky. This black sea that roils with unknowable creatures just under the surface. I saw this place once before, when Shaeva pulled me from the raid.
A blurred figure approaches, hovering just above the water, like me. I know who he is without him saying so. Mauth.
Welcome to my dimension, Elias Veturius.
"What the ten bleeding hells," I say shakily, pointing to the sea, "are those things?"
Do not concern yourself with them, Mauth says. They are a discussion for another day. Look. He waves his hand, and a tapestry of images unspools before me.
The images begin with the Scholars' war on the jinn and unravel from there, threads of darkness blooming like spilled ink, darkening all they touch. I see how the crimes of the Scholar king reached far beyond what he ever imagined.
I see the truth: that without the jinn in this world, there is no balance. They were the destined gatekeepers between the worlds of the living and the dead. And no one, no matter how skilled, can replace an entire civilization.
They must return--even if that means war. Even if it means destruction. For without them, the ghosts will continue to build up, and whether in five years or fifty or five hundred, they will escape again. And when that happens, they will destroy the world.
"Why can't you just set the jinn free? Make them . . . forget what happened?"
I require a conduit--a being from your world to harness my power. The amount of power required to restore a civilization would destroy any conduit I chose, human or wraith, jinn or efrit.
I understand then that there is only one path forward: freedom for the jinn. But that freedom will come at a price.
"Laia," I whisper. "The Blood Shrike. They--they will suffer. But--"
You dare to put those you love before all of humanity, child? Mauth asks me softly. You dare to be so selfish?
"Why should Laia and the Shrike pay for what a Scholar monster did a thousand years ago?"
There is a price for greed and violence. We do not always know who will pay it. But for good or ill, it will be paid.
I cannot stop what is to come. I cannot change it. Bleeding hells.
You can give those you once loved a world free of ghosts. You can do your duty. You can give them a chance at surviving the onslaught that must come. You can give them a chance to win, one day.
"But not today."
Not today. You have released your ties to strangers, to friends, to family, to your true love. Now surrender to me, for it is your destiny. It is the meaning of your name, the reason for your existence. It is time.
It is time.
I know the moment everything changes. The moment Mauth joins with me so completely that I cannot tell where I end and the magic begins. I am back in my body, in Antium, standing before Laia. It's as if no time has passed at all since she asked for my aid and I rejected her.
When I look down into that beautiful face, I no longer see the girl I loved. I see someone lesser. Someone who is aging, dying slowly, like all humans. I see a mortal.
"E-Elias?"
The girl--Laia--speaks, and I turn to her.
"The jinn have a part to play in this world, and they must be set free." I speak gently because she is a mortal, and she will take this news hard. "The world must be broken before it can be remade," I say, "or else the balance will never be restored."
"No," she says. "Elias, no. This is the jinn we are speaking of. If they are free--"
"I cannot keep the balance alone." It is unfair to expect Laia to understand. She is only a mortal, after all. "The world will burn," I say. "But it will be reborn from the ashes."
"Elias," she says. "How can you say this?"
"You should leave," I say. "I do not wish to welcome you to the Waiting Place--not yet. May the skies speed your way."
"What the hells has that place done to you?" she cries. "I need your help, Elias. The people need you. There are thousands of Scholars here. If I cannot get the Star, then I can at least get them out. You could--"
"I must return to the Waiting Place," I say. "Goodbye, Laia of Serra."
Laia grabs my face and peers into my eyes. A darkness rises in her--something that is fey, but not. It is more than fey. It is atavistic, the essence of magic itself. And it rages.
"What have you done to him?" She speaks to Mauth, as if she knows he has joined with me. As if she can see him. "Give him back!"
My voice, when it comes, is an unearthly rumble that isn't my own. I feel shoved to the side in my own mind, watching as I incline my head. "Forgive me, dear one," Mauth says through me. "It is the only way."
I back away from her and turn east, toward the Forest of Dusk. Moments later, I am through the masses of Karkauns ravaging the city, then beyond them, speeding through the countryside, at last one with Mauth.
But though I know I go now to my duty, some old part of me twinges, reaches out to whatever it is that I have lost. It feels strange.
It is the pain of what you have given up. But it will fade, Banu al-Mauth. You have endured much in a short time, learned much in a short time. You cannot expect to be ready overnight.
"It . . ." I search for the word. "It hurts."
Surrender always does. But it will not hurt forever.
"Why me?" I ask. "Why do we have to change and not you? Why do we have to become less human instead of you becoming more so?"
The ocean waves thunder on, and it is man who must swim among them. The wind blows, cold and brittle, and it is man who must protect against it. The earth shakes and cracks, swallows and destroys, but it is man who must walk upon it. So it is with death. I cannot surrender, Elias. It must be you.
"I don't feel like myself anymore."
Because you are not yourself. You are me. I am you. And in this way, we will pass the ghosts through, that your world be spared from their predations.
He falls silent as we leave Antium far behind. Soon, I forget the fighting. I forget the face of the girl I loved. I think only of the task ahead.
All is as it must be.
LIV: Laia
Cook finds me beside the stables moments after Elias disappears. I stare after him, disbelieving. He is not the Elias I left even two weeks ago, the Elias who brought me back from the Nightbringer's hell, who told me that we would find a way.
But then I remember what he said: If I seem different, remember that I love you. No matter what happens to me.
What in the skies happened to him? What was it inside me that lashed out at him? I think of what the Nightbringer said to me in Adisa: You know not the darkness that lies within your own heart.
Deal with Elias later, Laia. My mind reels. The city has fallen. I have failed. And the Scholar slaves--the
y are trapped here. Antium is surrounded on three sides. Only the north end, built against Mount Videnns, is not overrun with Karkauns.
That is where Cook and I entered the city, and that is how we will escape. That is how we will help the Scholars escape.
Because I know this feeling sweeping through me far too well, the feeling that all my effort, all I have worked for, means nothing. That everything and everyone is a lie. That all is cruel and unforgiving and that there is no justice.
I have survived this feeling before, and I will survive it again. In this fiery hellscape of a world, this mess of blood and madness, justice exists only for those who take it. I'll be damned if I'm not one of them.
"Girl." Cook appears from the streets. "What has happened?"
"Is the Mariner Embassy still clear?" I ask her as we head away from the sounds of fighting. "Have the Karkauns taken that district, or can we escape that way?"
"We can escape."
"Good," I say. "We're getting as many Scholars out as we can--do you understand? I'm going to send them to you at the embassy. I need you to tell them where to go."
"The Karkauns have broken through to the city's second level. They'll be at the embassy in a matter of hours, and then what will you do? Escape with me now. The Scholars will find their own way out."
"They will not," I say. "Because there is no way out. We're surrounded on three sides. They don't know there are escape routes."
"Let someone else do this."
"There is no one else! There is only us."
"This is a stupid idea," Cook says, "that's going to get us both killed."
"I have never asked anything of you." I grab her hands, and she flinches, but I hold tight to her. "I never had the opportunity. I am asking you to do this for me. Please. I'll send them to the embassy. You lead them out."
I do not wait for her response. I turn and run, knowing that she will not say no--not after what I just said to her.
The Scholar's District is in a panic, with people packing and searching for relatives and trying to fathom how they will escape the city. I stop one of the girls I see running across the main square. She looks a few years younger than me.
"Where is everyone going?" I ask her.
"No one knows where to go!" she wails. "I can't find my mother, and the Martials are all gone--they must have started evacuating the city, but no one told us."
"My name is Laia of Serra," I say. "The Karkauns have broken through. They will be here soon, but I'm going to help you leave. Do you know where the Mariner Embassy is?"
She nods, and I heave a sigh of relief. "Tell everyone, every Scholar you see, to go to the Mariner Embassy. A scar-faced woman will take you out of the city. Tell them to go now, to leave their things and run."
The girl nods rapidly and runs away. I grab another Scholar, a man Darin's age, and give him the same message. Whoever will stop, whoever will listen, I tell them to go to the embassy. To find the scar-faced woman. I see recognition in the eyes of a few when I tell them my name, but the sounds of fighting draw closer, and no one is stupid enough to ask questions. The message spreads, and soon the Scholars are fleeing the square en masse.
I hope to the skies everyone in the district gets the message, then I plunge into the city. The girl was right--the only Martials I see are soldiers, all of whom are running toward the fighting. I think of the wagon trains I saw leaving when Cook and I were approaching Antium. The wealthiest of the Martials left here weeks ago. They gave up on their capital and left the soldiers and the Plebeians and the Scholars to die.
I spot a group of Scholars clearing rubble under the direction of two Martials who aren't paying attention because they are listening to drum messages. They discuss the messages in low, urgent tones, as aware of the sounds of nearby fighting as I am. I use the Martials' distraction to sneak up to the Scholars.
"We can't simply run." A woman glances at the Martials fearfully. "They'll come after us."
"You must," I say. "If you don't run from them now, you'll be running from the Karkauns, but by then, you'll have nowhere to go."
Another woman in the group hears, drops her pick, and breaks away, and that is all the other Scholars need. Three score of them scatter, the adults grabbing the few children, all disappearing in a dozen directions before the Martials can even understand what is happening.
I urge the Scholars on and stop to warn any others I see, asking them to pass on the message. By the time I reach the Foreign District, I see hundreds of Scholars streaming toward the embassy.
A fight spills into the streets in front of me. A group of Martial auxes battles a much larger force of Karkauns. Though the Barbarian steel breaks on the auxes' scims, the Martials are hard-pressed, overwhelmed by sheer numbers. If this is happening all over the city, then the Barbarians will be in control of Antium by nightfall.
I skirt around the battle, and when I get to the embassy, Scholars spill out the doors. Cook's grumpy, raspy voice is instantly recognizable as she orders everyone down the steps and into the tunnels.
"About bleeding time!" Cook says when she sees me. "Get down there. A few of these slaves know the way out. Follow--" Cook sees my face and groans when she realizes that I have no plans to leave--at least not until everyone is through.
Even as she speaks, more Scholars arrive. I see Martials now too, most of whom are Plebeians, judging by their clothing. They are drawn by the crowd, assuming rightly that there is a reason so many Scholars flock here.
"Bleeding hells, girl," Cook says. "Do you see what you've done?"
I gesture the Martials in. "I'm not going to tell a mother with a crying child she can't escape through here," I snap. "I don't care if she's Martial or not. Are you?"
"Damn you, girl," Cook snarls. "You're just like your f-f-f-fath--" She presses her mouth closed and turns away in frustration. "Move, you bleeding sloths!" She unleashes her wrath on the Scholars closest to her. "There are hundreds behind you who want to live as badly as you do!"
Urged on by Cook's threats, the Scholars slowly make their way through the tunnels, and the embassy begins to empty--but not swiftly enough. The Karkauns are closing in, pouring through the streets. The Martials are overcome.
As I watch, I see an aux squad go down, blood and viscera spraying the air red. And despite the fact that I know the Empire's evils firsthand, my eyes grow hot. I will never understand the savagery of war, even when it is my foes being destroyed.
"Time to go, girl." Cook appears at my shoulder and shoves me down the steps to the cellar. I do not protest. No doubt there are Scholars still left in the city. But I have done what I can.
"Help me with this." She bars the cellar door, her hands steady. Above, glass breaks, followed by the harsh barks of the Karkauns.
Cook fiddles with something in the door, eventually pulling out what looks like a very long candle wick. Moments later, it is sparking.
"Take cover!" We run to the door that leads to the tunnel, pulling it shut just as the ground begins shuddering. The tunnels groan, and for long moments, I worry that stones above us will collapse. But when the dust clears, the passageway has held, and I turn to Cook.
"Explosives? How?"
"The Mariners had a stockpile," Cook says. "Musa's little friends showed me. Well, girl, that's it. Tunnel's sealed. Now what?"
"Now," I say, "we get the hells out of this city."
LV: The Blood Shrike
The Karkauns flood Antium, breaching gate after gate, the screams of their warriors chilling me to my core. Their ghost-possessed fighters are gone, thanks, perhaps, to Elias.
But the damage is done. They have decimated our forces. Marcus was right. The Empire's capital is lost.
My rage is a pure, glowing flame that drives me to tear through any Karkaun I see. And when, in the distance, I spot a familiar blonde figure making her way through the city with a handful of soldiers at her back, my anger burns white-hot.
"You treacherous bitch!"
She stops w
hen she hears me but takes her sweet time turning around.
"How could you?" My voice breaks. "Your own people? Just for the throne? What is the point of being Empress if you have no love for those you rule? If you have no one to rule over?"
"Empress?" She cocks her head. "To be Empress is the least of my desires, girl. Why stop at Empress? Why, when the Nightbringer would offer me dominion over the Tribes, the Scholars, the Mariners, the Karkauns--over all the world of man?"
No--oh bleeding hells, no.
I lunge for her then, because I have nothing to lose now, no Paters to placate, no orders to follow, just a bolt of wrath that possesses me like a demon spirit.
She steps easily to the side, and in moments her men, all Masks, have me pinned. A knife gleams in her hand, and she runs it lightly down my face, tracing my forehead, my cheeks.
"I wonder if it will hurt," she murmurs.
Then she turns around, leaps onto her mount, and rides away. Her men hold me until she is long gone, before casting me to the side of a road like offal.
I do not chase them. I do not even look at them. The Commandant could have killed me. Instead she left me alive. Skies only know why, but I will not waste this chance. I listen to the drums, and soon enough I am racing toward the men of the Black Guard who still live, along with a few hundred soldiers, as they hold off a wave of attackers from a square in a Mercator district. I search the faces for Dex, hoping to the skies that he's still alive, and nearly crush his ribs when he finds me.
"Where the bleeding hells are our men, Dex?" I shout over the cacophony. "This can't be all that's left!"
Dex shakes his head, bleeding from a dozen wounds. "This is it."
"The evacuation?"
"Thousands make their way through the Augurs' caves. Thousands more are still in the tunnels. The entrances have been collapsed. Those who could get through--"
I hold up a hand. The drum tower closest to us thuds out a message. It is almost lost amid all the noise, but I just make out the end of it: Karkaun force approaching Pilgrim's Gap.
"Harper has our people coming out just beyond the Gap," I say. Livia, my mind screams at me. The baby! "The Karkauns must have scouts up there. If those bastards get through the Gap, they'll slaughter everyone Harper has evacuated."
"Why follow us?" Dex says. "Why, when they know they have the city?"
"Because Grimarr knows we won't let him keep Antium," I say. "And he wants to make damn sure that while his men have the advantage, they kill as many of us as possible so we can't fight them later." I know what I must say, and I make myself say it.