CHAPTER X.
AFTER these events, it was long before we were able to attain any degree ofcomposure. A moral tempest had wrecked our richly freighted vessel, and we,remnants of the diminished crew, were aghast at the losses and changeswhich we had undergone. Idris passionately loved her brother, and could illbrook an absence whose duration was uncertain; his society was dear andnecessary to me--I had followed up my chosen literary occupations withdelight under his tutorship and assistance; his mild philosophy, unerringreason, and enthusiastic friendship were the best ingredient, the exaltedspirit of our circle; even the children bitterly regretted the loss oftheir kind playfellow. Deeper grief oppressed Perdita. In spite ofresentment, by day and night she figured to herself the toils and dangersof the wanderers. Raymond absent, struggling with difficulties, lost to thepower and rank of the Protectorate, exposed to the perils of war, became anobject of anxious interest; not that she felt any inclination to recallhim, if recall must imply a return to their former union. Such return shefelt to be impossible; and while she believed it to be thus, and withanguish regretted that so it should be, she continued angry and impatientwith him, who occasioned her misery. These perplexities and regrets causedher to bathe her pillow with nightly tears, and to reduce her in person andin mind to the shadow of what she had been. She sought solitude, andavoided us when in gaiety and unrestrained affection we met in a familycircle. Lonely musings, interminable wanderings, and solemn music were heronly pastimes. She neglected even her child; shutting her heart against alltenderness, she grew reserved towards me, her first and fast friend.
I could not see her thus lost, without exerting myself to remedy the evil--remediless I knew, if I could not in the end bring her to reconcileherself to Raymond. Before he went I used every argument, every persuasionto induce her to stop his journey. She answered the one with a gush oftears--telling me that to be persuaded--life and the goods of life werea cheap exchange. It was not will that she wanted, but the capacity; againand again she declared, it were as easy to enchain the sea, to put reins onthe wind's viewless courses, as for her to take truth for falsehood, deceitfor honesty, heartless communion for sincere, confiding love. She answeredmy reasonings more briefly, declaring with disdain, that the reason washers; and, until I could persuade her that the past could be unacted, thatmaturity could go back to the cradle, and that all that was could become asthough it had never been, it was useless to assure her that no real changehad taken place in her fate. And thus with stern pride she suffered him togo, though her very heart-strings cracked at the fulfilling of the act,which rent from her all that made life valuable.
To change the scene for her, and even for ourselves, all unhinged by thecloud that had come over us, I persuaded my two remaining companions thatit were better that we should absent ourselves for a time from Windsor. Wevisited the north of England, my native Ulswater, and lingered in scenesdear from a thousand associations. We lengthened our tour into Scotland,that we might see Loch Katrine and Loch Lomond; thence we crossed toIreland, and passed several weeks in the neighbourhood of Killarney. Thechange of scene operated to a great degree as I expected; after a year'sabsence, Perdita returned in gentler and more docile mood to Windsor. Thefirst sight of this place for a time unhinged her. Here every spot wasdistinct with associations now grown bitter. The forest glades, the fernydells, and lawny uplands, the cultivated and cheerful country spread aroundthe silver pathway of ancient Thames, all earth, air, and wave, took up onechoral voice, inspired by memory, instinct with plaintive regret.
But my essay towards bringing her to a saner view of her own situation, didnot end here. Perdita was still to a great degree uneducated. When firstshe left her peasant life, and resided with the elegant and cultivatedEvadne, the only accomplishment she brought to any perfection was that ofpainting, for which she had a taste almost amounting to genius. This hadoccupied her in her lonely cottage, when she quitted her Greek friend'sprotection. Her pallet and easel were now thrown aside; did she try topaint, thronging recollections made her hand tremble, her eyes fill withtears. With this occupation she gave up almost every other; and her mindpreyed upon itself almost to madness.
For my own part, since Adrian had first withdrawn me from my selvaticwilderness to his own paradise of order and beauty, I had been wedded toliterature. I felt convinced that however it might have been in formertimes, in the present stage of the world, no man's faculties could bedeveloped, no man's moral principle be enlarged and liberal, without anextensive acquaintance with books. To me they stood in the place of anactive career, of ambition, and those palpable excitements necessary to themultitude. The collation of philosophical opinions, the study of historicalfacts, the acquirement of languages, were at once my recreation, and theserious aim of my life. I turned author myself. My productions however weresufficiently unpretending; they were confined to the biography of favouritehistorical characters, especially those whom I believed to have beentraduced, or about whom clung obscurity and doubt.
As my authorship increased, I acquired new sympathies and pleasures. Ifound another and a valuable link to enchain me to my fellow-creatures; mypoint of sight was extended, and the inclinations and capacities of allhuman beings became deeply interesting to me. Kings have been called thefathers of their people. Suddenly I became as it were the father of allmankind. Posterity became my heirs. My thoughts were gems to enrich thetreasure house of man's intellectual possessions; each sentiment was aprecious gift I bestowed on them. Let not these aspirations be attributedto vanity. They were not expressed in words, nor even reduced to form in myown mind; but they filled my soul, exalting my thoughts, raising a glow ofenthusiasm, and led me out of the obscure path in which I before walked,into the bright noon-enlightened highway of mankind, making me, citizen ofthe world, a candidate for immortal honors, an eager aspirant to the praiseand sympathy of my fellow men.
No one certainly ever enjoyed the pleasures of composition more intenselythan I. If I left the woods, the solemn music of the waving branches, andthe majestic temple of nature, I sought the vast halls of the Castle, andlooked over wide, fertile England, spread beneath our regal mount, andlistened the while to inspiring strains of music. At such times solemnharmonies or spirit-stirring airs gave wings to my lagging thoughts,permitting them, methought, to penetrate the last veil of nature and herGod, and to display the highest beauty in visible expression to theunderstandings of men. As the music went on, my ideas seemed to quit theirmortal dwelling house; they shook their pinions and began a flight, sailingon the placid current of thought, filling the creation with new glory, androusing sublime imagery that else had slept voiceless. Then I would hastento my desk, weave the new-found web of mind in firm texture and brilliantcolours, leaving the fashioning of the material to a calmer moment.
But this account, which might as properly belong to a former period of mylife as to the present moment, leads me far afield. It was the pleasure Itook in literature, the discipline of mind I found arise from it, that mademe eager to lead Perdita to the same pursuits. I began with light hand andgentle allurement; first exciting her curiosity, and then satisfying it insuch a way as might occasion her, at the same time that she half forgot hersorrows in occupation, to find in the hours that succeeded a reaction ofbenevolence and toleration.
Intellectual activity, though not directed towards books, had always beenmy sister's characteristic. It had been displayed early in life, leadingher out to solitary musing among her native mountains, causing her to forminnumerous combinations from common objects, giving strength to herperceptions, and swiftness to their arrangement. Love had come, as the rodof the master-prophet, to swallow up every minor propensity. Love haddoubled all her excellencies, and placed a diadem on her genius. Was she tocease to love? Take the colours and odour from the rose, change the sweetnutriment of mother's milk to gall and poison; as easily might you weanPerdita from love. She grieved for the loss of Raymond with an anguish,that exiled all smile from her lips, and trenched sad lines on her brow ofbeau
ty. But each day seemed to change the nature of her suffering, andevery succeeding hour forced her to alter (if so I may style it) thefashion of her soul's mourning garb. For a time music was able to satisfythe cravings of her mental hunger, and her melancholy thoughts renewedthemselves in each change of key, and varied with every alteration in thestrain. My schooling first impelled her towards books; and, if music hadbeen the food of sorrow, the productions of the wise became itsmedicine. The acquisition of unknown languages was too tedious anoccupation, for one who referred every expression to the universe within,and read not, as many do, for the mere sake of filling up time; but who wasstill questioning herself and her author, moulding every idea in a thousandways, ardently desirous for the discovery of truth in every sentence. Shesought to improve her understanding; mechanically her heart anddispositions became soft and gentle under this benign discipline. Afterawhile she discovered, that amidst all her newly acquired knowledge, herown character, which formerly she fancied that she thoroughly understood,became the first in rank among the terrae incognitae, the pathless wilds ofa country that had no chart. Erringly and strangely she began the task ofself-examination with self-condemnation. And then again she became aware ofher own excellencies, and began to balance with juster scales the shades ofgood and evil. I, who longed beyond words, to restore her to the happinessit was still in her power to enjoy, watched with anxiety the result ofthese internal proceedings.
But man is a strange animal. We cannot calculate on his forces like that ofan engine; and, though an impulse draw with a forty-horse power at whatappears willing to yield to one, yet in contempt of calculation themovement is not effected. Neither grief, philosophy, nor love could makePerdita think with mildness of the dereliction of Raymond. She now tookpleasure in my society; towards Idris she felt and displayed a full andaffectionate sense of her worth--she restored to her child in abundantmeasure her tenderness and care. But I could discover, amidst all herrepinings, deep resentment towards Raymond, and an unfading sense ofinjury, that plucked from me my hope, when I appeared nearest to itsfulfilment. Among other painful restrictions, she has occasioned it tobecome a law among us, never to mention Raymond's name before her. Sherefused to read any communications from Greece, desiring me only to mentionwhen any arrived, and whether the wanderers were well. It was curious thateven little Clara observed this law towards her mother. This lovely childwas nearly eight years of age. Formerly she had been a light-heartedinfant, fanciful, but gay and childish. After the departure of her father,thought became impressed on her young brow. Children, unadepts in language,seldom find words to express their thoughts, nor could we tell in whatmanner the late events had impressed themselves on her mind. But certainlyshe had made deep observations while she noted in silence the changes thatpassed around her. She never mentioned her father to Perdita, she appearedhalf afraid when she spoke of him to me, and though I tried to draw her outon the subject, and to dispel the gloom that hung about her ideasconcerning him, I could not succeed. Yet each foreign post-day she watchedfor the arrival of letters--knew the post mark, and watched me as I read.I found her often poring over the article of Greek intelligence in thenewspaper.
There is no more painful sight than that of untimely care in children, andit was particularly observable in one whose disposition had heretofore beenmirthful. Yet there was so much sweetness and docility about Clara, thatyour admiration was excited; and if the moods of mind are calculated topaint the cheek with beauty, and endow motions with grace, surely hercontemplations must have been celestial; since every lineament was mouldedinto loveliness, and her motions were more harmonious than the elegantboundings of the fawns of her native forest. I sometimes expostulated withPerdita on the subject of her reserve; but she rejected my counsels, whileher daughter's sensibility excited in her a tenderness still morepassionate.
After the lapse of more than a year, Adrian returned from Greece.
When our exiles had first arrived, a truce was in existence between theTurks and Greeks; a truce that was as sleep to the mortal frame, signal ofrenewed activity on waking. With the numerous soldiers of Asia, with all ofwarlike stores, ships, and military engines, that wealth and power couldcommand, the Turks at once resolved to crush an enemy, which creeping on bydegrees, had from their stronghold in the Morea, acquired Thrace andMacedonia, and had led their armies even to the gates of Constantinople,while their extensive commercial relations gave every European nation aninterest in their success. Greece prepared for a vigorous resistance; itrose to a man; and the women, sacrificing their costly ornaments, accoutredtheir sons for the war, and bade them conquer or die with the spirit of theSpartan mother. The talents and courage of Raymond were highly esteemedamong the Greeks. Born at Athens, that city claimed him for her own, and bygiving him the command of her peculiar division in the army, thecommander-in-chief only possessed superior power. He was numbered among hercitizens, his name was added to the list of Grecian heroes. His judgment,activity, and consummate bravery, justified their choice. The Earl ofWindsor became a volunteer under his friend.
"It is well," said Adrian, "to prate of war in these pleasant shades, andwith much ill-spent oil make a show of joy, because many thousand of ourfellow-creatures leave with pain this sweet air and natal earth. I shallnot be suspected of being averse to the Greek cause; I know and feel itsnecessity; it is beyond every other a good cause. I have defended it withmy sword, and was willing that my spirit should be breathed out in itsdefence; freedom is of more worth than life, and the Greeks do well todefend their privilege unto death. But let us not deceive ourselves. TheTurks are men; each fibre, each limb is as feeling as our own, and everyspasm, be it mental or bodily, is as truly felt in a Turk's heart or brain,as in a Greek's. The last action at which I was present was the taking of----. The Turks resisted to the last, the garrison perished on theramparts, and we entered by assault. Every breathing creature within thewalls was massacred. Think you, amidst the shrieks of violated innocenceand helpless infancy, I did not feel in every nerve the cry of a fellowbeing? They were men and women, the sufferers, before they were Mahometans,and when they rise turbanless from the grave, in what except their good orevil actions will they be the better or worse than we? Two soldierscontended for a girl, whose rich dress and extreme beauty excited thebrutal appetites of these wretches, who, perhaps good men among theirfamilies, were changed by the fury of the moment into incarnated evils. Anold man, with a silver beard, decrepid and bald, he might be hergrandfather, interposed to save her; the battle axe of one of them clovehis skull. I rushed to her defence, but rage made them blind and deaf; theydid not distinguish my Christian garb or heed my words--words were bluntweapons then, for while war cried "havoc," and murder gave fit echo, howcould I--
Turn back the tide of ills, relieving wrong With mild accost of soothing eloquence?
One of the fellows, enraged at my interference, struck me with his bayonetin the side, and I fell senseless.
"This wound will probably shorten my life, having shattered a frame, weakof itself. But I am content to die. I have learnt in Greece that one man,more or less, is of small import, while human bodies remain to fill up thethinned ranks of the soldiery; and that the identity of an individual maybe overlooked, so that the muster roll contain its full numbers. All thishas a different effect upon Raymond. He is able to contemplate the ideal ofwar, while I am sensible only to its realities. He is a soldier, a general.He can influence the blood-thirsty war-dogs, while I resist theirpropensities vainly. The cause is simple. Burke has said that, 'in allbodies those who would lead, must also, in a considerable degree, follow.'--I cannot follow; for I do not sympathize in their dreams of massacre andglory--to follow and to lead in such a career, is the natural bent ofRaymond's mind. He is always successful, and bids fair, at the same timethat he acquires high name and station for himself, to secure liberty,probably extended empire, to the Greeks."
Perdita's mind was not softened by this account. He, she thought, can begreat and happy without me. Would th
at I also had a career! Would that Icould freight some untried bark with all my hopes, energies, and desires,and launch it forth into the ocean of life--bound for some attainablepoint, with ambition or pleasure at the helm! But adverse winds detain meon shore; like Ulysses, I sit at the water's edge and weep. But mynerveless hands can neither fell the trees, nor smooth the planks. Underthe influence of these melancholy thoughts, she became more than ever inlove with sorrow. Yet Adrian's presence did some good; he at once brokethrough the law of silence observed concerning Raymond. At first shestarted from the unaccustomed sound; soon she got used to it and to loveit, and she listened with avidity to the account of his achievements. Claragot rid also of her restraint; Adrian and she had been old playfellows; andnow, as they walked or rode together, he yielded to her earnest entreaty,and repeated, for the hundredth time, some tale of her father's bravery,munificence, or justice.
Each vessel in the mean time brought exhilarating tidings from Greece. Thepresence of a friend in its armies and councils made us enter into thedetails with enthusiasm; and a short letter now and then from Raymond toldus how he was engrossed by the interests of his adopted country. The Greekswere strongly attached to their commercial pursuits, and would have beensatisfied with their present acquisitions, had not the Turks roused them byinvasion. The patriots were victorious; a spirit of conquest was instilled;and already they looked on Constantinople as their own. Raymond roseperpetually in their estimation; but one man held a superior command to himin their armies. He was conspicuous for his conduct and choice of positionin a battle fought in the plains of Thrace, on the banks of the Hebrus,which was to decide the fate of Islam. The Mahometans were defeated, anddriven entirely from the country west of this river. The battle wassanguinary, the loss of the Turks apparently irreparable; the Greeks, inlosing one man, forgot the nameless crowd strewed upon the bloody field,and they ceased to value themselves on a victory, which cost them--Raymond.
At the battle of Makri he had led the charge of cavalry, and pursued thefugitives even to the banks of the Hebrus. His favourite horse was foundgrazing by the margin of the tranquil river. It became a question whetherhe had fallen among the unrecognized; but no broken ornament or stainedtrapping betrayed his fate. It was suspected that the Turks, findingthemselves possessed of so illustrious a captive, resolved to satisfy theircruelty rather than their avarice, and fearful of the interference ofEngland, had come to the determination of concealing for ever thecold-blooded murder of the soldier they most hated and feared in thesquadrons of their enemy.
Raymond was not forgotten in England. His abdication of the Protectoratehad caused an unexampled sensation; and, when his magnificent and manlysystem was contrasted with the narrow views of succeeding politicians, theperiod of his elevation was referred to with sorrow. The perpetualrecurrence of his name, joined to most honourable testimonials, in theGreek gazettes, kept up the interest he had excited. He seemed thefavourite child of fortune, and his untimely loss eclipsed the world, andshewed forth the remnant of mankind with diminished lustre. They clung witheagerness to the hope held out that he might yet be alive. Their ministerat Constantinople was urged to make the necessary perquisitions, and shouldhis existence be ascertained, to demand his release. It was to be hopedthat their efforts would succeed, and that though now a prisoner, the sportof cruelty and the mark of hate, he would be rescued from danger andrestored to the happiness, power, and honour which he deserved.
The effect of this intelligence upon my sister was striking. She never fora moment credited the story of his death; she resolved instantly to go toGreece. Reasoning and persuasion were thrown away upon her; she wouldendure no hindrance, no delay. It may be advanced for a truth, that, ifargument or entreaty can turn any one from a desperate purpose, whosemotive and end depends on the strength of the affections only, then it isright so to turn them, since their docility shews, that neither the motivenor the end were of sufficient force to bear them through the obstaclesattendant on their undertaking. If, on the contrary, they are proof againstexpostulation, this very steadiness is an omen of success; and it becomesthe duty of those who love them, to assist in smoothing the obstructions intheir path. Such sentiments actuated our little circle. Finding Perditaimmoveable, we consulted as to the best means of furthering her purpose.She could not go alone to a country where she had no friends, where shemight arrive only to hear the dreadful news, which must overwhelm her withgrief and remorse. Adrian, whose health had always been weak, now sufferedconsiderable aggravation of suffering from the effects of his wound. Idriscould not endure to leave him in this state; nor was it right either toquit or take with us a young family for a journey of this description. Iresolved at length to accompany Perdita. The separation from my Idris waspainful--but necessity reconciled us to it in some degree: necessity andthe hope of saving Raymond, and restoring him again to happiness andPerdita. No delay was to ensue. Two days after we came to ourdetermination, we set out for Portsmouth, and embarked. The season was May,the weather stormless; we were promised a prosperous voyage. Cherishing themost fervent hopes, embarked on the waste ocean, we saw with delight thereceding shore of Britain, and on the wings of desire outspeeded our wellfilled sails towards the South. The light curling waves bore us onward, andold ocean smiled at the freight of love and hope committed to his charge;it stroked gently its tempestuous plains, and the path was smoothed for us.Day and night the wind right aft, gave steady impulse to our keel--nordid rough gale, or treacherous sand, or destructive rock interpose anobstacle between my sister and the land which was to restore her to herfirst beloved,
Her dear heart's confessor--a heart within that heart.