At 11, still without customers, Hank told Wolf to take the boys into the shade afforded by a dozen wild apple trees in an irregular line about 30 meters from the road. Wizard offered to stay with Hank at the wagon and was perched comfortably on the top of the wood, a wide-brimmed Okanagan sombrero keeping the sun out of his eyes. The others were lying in the wild underbrush beneath the trees munching on apples. Soon, apple cores would be flying through the air. Then whole apples would fly. Hank began thinking of calling the day off. Had Hank acted on those thoughts, they wouldn't have been in Oliver when the putt-putt owners left the pub.
Villagers in the B.C. interior dressed pretty much the same. All clothes were homemade, of course. Herds of cows and local wildlife provided leather for shoes, belts, coats, and other such things. Clothes weren't restricted to the drab colours permitted by the DPS in Alberta, but there wasn't a huge amount of colour either. Men were usually clean-shaven, although moustaches were common; women wore their hair short, or if they liked it long, they wore it in a tight bun during the working hours. These people were essentially farmers but their crops were fruit. Their working day was long and arduous. Weaponry consisted of rifles. The communities had little need for short barrel guns or for law officials. If any villager became too rowdy for the taste of the majority, they'd just stake him out in the sun for a day.
Hank's instincts kicked in when he saw the putt-putt owners staggering out of the tavern and he issued instructions immediately. Parental controls were shared so that the lasers could be raised to full power. Wolf was put in charge of the boys in the underbrush who immediately spread out, and burrowed deep into the undergrowth under the stunted apple trees. "This is not a drill! This is not a drill!" Hank repeated.
# # # # # # # #
Hank was loosely surrounded by seven drunk, burly men, all but one dressed in farmer overalls. They also wore a grungy long sleeved shirt in an unidentifiable colour and stained with fluids that looked disgusting and are better left undescribed. To complete their fashion statement, they had clod-stomping boots and various hats or caps. All were bearded and reeked of beer and sweat. Six were heavily armed – an ammunition belt with two filled holsters around their hips, and a second ammunition belt with a third gun slung over one shoulder and under the opposite arm pit. Six wore at least one piece of clothing that did not fit their desperado, gunslinger image. A red silk bandana around a throat; a heavily jeweled necklace around another throat; a closed pink parasol secured inside a boot; a stuffed teddy bear peeking out of another boot, a black patch covering an eye, and a gold wedding band on a grimy pinky finger. The seventh man dressed differently from the others and carried a long antique rifle.
The giant towering over Hank was pressing the business end of a large pistol to Hank's left temple. Five of the other men were watching the big man terrorize the unarmed injun with the long black braid. The rifleman was keeping an eye on the kid who was sitting quiet as a mouse on the wood pile, his hands apart, bare palms revealing that he wasn't armed. Hank was reaching for the sky as ordered and was explaining why they were on the street.
"Being strangers to town, we couldn't wait in our homes to be robbed like you told the people of Oliver. We weren't trying to defy your orders. Why would we do that? How'd you convince the Oliver people to stay indoors, by the way?"
"Told them we'd burn any building to the ground that didn't have someone in the window waving real friendly-like to us if we wandered by."
"We also crammed all their women and children inside a locked church so that we could rob the men in the houses easier," the rifleman added.
"Did you come up from the States?" Hank inquired softly.
"Yup. Got a little too hot down there. Thought we'd take a little trip to gentle old Canada," the rifleman man admitted.
"You seen a gang like us up here before?" the parasol man asked.
"Can't say that we have. Those special things that you're wearing . . . Those are trophies, right? Reminders of places you've been, people you've met?"
"Could be that we take a trophy from you and your boy," necklace man snickered.
"Take-um a scalp-um off him-um while you watch-um," the parasol toting gunslinger had apparently seen one too many old westerns.
"You don't appear to be frightened," the rifleman observed. "You think we won't kill you if we feel like it?"
"Well I'm sorry. I'm trying to be frightened, but I can't quite get there yet. I mean vicious men robbing a town and then escaping on putt-putts? Crippled dogs can limp faster than a putt-putt. And what would you do with your loot? Putt-putt out of town with a sack of apples slung over your shoulder?"
"You making fun of us?" the giant put one of his meat hooks for hands around Hank's throat.
"No. Why would I do something that stupid?" Hank croaked. "I have a gun to my head and I'm trying real hard to be frightened, but I'm just not buying the fact that you're robbers. There's nothing here to rob. There never would be in a small town like this. If you told me why you were really here, that might make me scared of you."
The gang had a small meeting. Hank took this opportunity to lower his arms and rub his neck. "Wouldn't hurt," the rifleman said. "He's going to know soon enough."
The giant stepped forward again and put the gun back to Hank's temple. "We like to do a little target shooting when we come into small towns," he explained. "Livens up the day."
"Ah, that's better. Now I think I understand. So you come into a small town and tell the people to carry big target signs. They walk around town and you try to hit the bulls-eye in the targets? Where do you find the paper for this? Or do you make wooden targets?"
Another meeting had to be held. Several of the gunslingers looked at Hank and made twirling motions around their ears. One of them said, "Use small words" to the giant. Meanwhile Hank tried to look perplexed and a little frightened. A quick mind message later, Wizard put his hands together. An invisible weapon became visible but hidden inside Wizard's clasped hands. We may assume that the boys under the apple trees were similarly warned to get ready, but even in the dead heat of a summer day, no rustling sounds made it to the ears of the desperados.
Once again, the pistol was poised against Hank's temple. "You're just not getting it, friend. The people don't carry targets. They are the targets."
"Ah, now I understand. That is indeed a little scary. Only a bit though. You see, what I don't understand is this. With only seven of you, and with all the people in a village running around to avoid being shot, how are you going to stop them from escaping? You plan on chasing them down on these puny little putt-putts?"
The group meeting was now an automatic reaction. A snarly "You try threatening him if you think you're so smart," ended the meeting.
The rifleman now held the gun to Hank's temple. He was a thin man, clothed in a deer-hide fringed jacket, rawhide leggings, and a raccoon skin hat. His antique rifle was now leaning up against his putt-putt. The frontiersman look was ruined a bit by the motorcycle boots.
Hank took the opportunity to whisper out of the side of his mouth. "Are you dressed up to be Daniel Boone?"
Daniel Boone nodded his head and copied the whisper. "I won't wear the moccasins. They make me look like a dumb injun like you."
"You know that Daniel Boone was a good guy, right?" Hank whispered. "The boys let you get away with that?"
"They do what I tell them to do."
"Ah," Hank nodded in understanding and then began playing for the larger audience. He wanted his boys to hear this. "So how do you keep everyone in the village under control while you have shooting practice?"
"We take hostages and threaten to kill them if they don't do what we want."
"And then butcher everyone in the village one house at a time anyway. Were you the same gang that attacked that little village of pacifists and their children in, where was it, Nevada?"
"Yah. I had them all stuffed in their houses. One of the boys was in each house and when I gave the signal, the b
oys pulled out their guns and was going to shoot them right then. But the parents and their kids just went and flopped down on the floor. My boys shot each of them through the forehead like they was supposed to. People didn't try to run away or nutting, so it wasn't as much fun as we had expected."
"And now you've come to Canada?"
"We got seen. People spread our descriptions and we had to leave. Too risky with so many guns in the States. You don't got many guns. This will be our biggest village that we've done though so that should be fun. Are you frightened yet?"
"Yes, I truly am. Now you may have made one tiny miscalculation. I feel it's only fair to warn you about this because Canadians are known for being polite and I wouldn't want to ruin our image by killing you without warning you first." Hank started to walk towards Daniel Boone's henchmen, stopped, and said, "Are you coming, Daniel? You'll want to keep the pistol to my temple, won't you?"
Arriving at the giant properly threatened again, Hank told his captor. "I'm going to turn your giant a bit to the right. There. Now Mr. Giant, look towards that stand of apple trees and would you be so kind as to tell me what you see?"
"A flashing light?"
"Yes. Well done. It is indeed a flashing light. I was going to say, No flies on you, but that wouldn't be true, would it. Now Daniel, what do you see on your giant's forehead?"
"A flashing red light. Laser sighting?"
"Yes indeed, it is a laser sighting for a type of gun that can fry your giant's brains before he can twitch a finger. I'd stay perfectly still, if I were you Mr. Giant. Try not to scratch." Indeed, the giant might find that advice hard to follow since his clothes were inhabited by so many biting little varmints.
Daniel placed the gun so that it was physically touching Hank's temple and put some pressure on it.
Hank continued undeterred. "Perhaps you'd be good enough to tell your other boys to turn towards the trees and look for their own personal flashing lights. Mr. Boone, you can tell them if a laser light is shining on their foreheads. Oh by the way, the man on the end of the line has a gun pointed at the back of his head. He should turn towards my firewood wagon if he wants to see who's going to fry his eyeballs until they pop."
Daniel and the man at the end turned as one. There was Wizard, a bright red light shining out of his clasped hands and splattering itself on the man's forehead. The other men facing the trees had similar lights – all focused dead center on foreheads and not wavering a bit.
"Can't see no gun. How do we know you got more than flashy lights?"
"That's very smart, Daniel. Perhaps we do. Perhaps we don't. A demonstration is in order. Seeing as how you are the smartest man in your gang, you must also be the bravest. So we'll do the demonstration on you. Now you keep that pistol snug against my head. I'm going to take my left hand and raise the tail of the dead raccoon sitting on your head. OK. The tail is up in the air. You ever think of curing this hide? It would probably reduce the reek. You're sure that this tail was fastened securely to the raccoon's body, right?"
Daniel nodded hesitantly.
"Captain Wolf, would you oblige?"
Hank handed Daniel the seared end of a raccoon's tail. "It's not attached any longer. As you have seen, our guns make no sound. Unless you're looking at the man next to you, you might not realize that his brains had just evaporated."
Eyes started to wander right and left.
"You forget that I have this gun at your head and there ain't no red light flashing on my forehead. You're out of men, ain't you?"
Well in truth, Hank was out of sons. But one man was left who could take care of the situation.
"Daniel, Daniel, Daniel. You have miscalculated badly again. A laser sight has been on you the whole time. You just haven't been facing the right way. Now you keep that gun tight on my left temple. I'm going to turn you around so that you can see your personal laser light." Hank gently turned Daniel Boone so that he was facing into town. "Now I’ll stand aside a bit so that my man has a clear shot. There's the red light, right on your chest. See it?" and Hank prodded Daniel's chest with his forefinger.
Daniel looked down at Hank's finger on his chest and was just realizing that no light was there when Hank's left hand swept the gun away and his right fist made a bloody, excruciating mess where Daniel Boone's nose used to be.
"I can't believe that old shtick still works after all this time,” Hank muttered to himself.
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Chapter 17
"The court is called to order," Hank announced in a somber tone. All seven gunslingers were sitting on the ground and leaning up against a wheel or the side of the firewood wagon. The would-be desperados were tied securely together and to the wagon, their arms bound behind their backs by one of Wizard's tree hauling ropes. Hank's boys were sitting cross-legged on the ground opposite the bound men but well away from them. Wizard and Wolf were responsible for keeping the gunslingers under control but after Wizard had finished with the ropes, laser sighting beams were no longer needed. They had searched the gunslingers though and had removed wicked looking knives from under the coverall leggings of each of them. Those had joined the guns that were in a large pile behind Hank. With the boys to his right, and the prisoners to his left, Hank was standing at the third side of what could be an imaginary square. Or in this case, an imaginary court room.
"My name is Hank" and Hank then terminated the sentence with what sounded like a coughing sound. "I am a member of the British Columbia detachment of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. You have all seen my badge. That badge gives me the authority to detain suspected criminals, question them, determine if they have broken any laws, and apply justice as required within the Aboriginal Nation. By treaty, my authority also extends to B.C. I will now call my first witness, Wizard. Stand over there, son."
Wizard rose and walked to the fourth side of the imaginary courtroom where he shifted his weight nervously from one foot to the other, not sure what was going to happen next.
"Wizard, did you hear Daniel Boone describe how he and his boys had entered a Nevada town and how they had confined all of the citizens of that town to their homes?"
"Yes Dad, I did."
"What did you hear Daniel Boone say next?"
"That he had put one of his boys in each of the homes, and when he gave a signal, they all shot the people through the forehead."
"Were the people of the village threatening them in any way at the time?"
"No. They were just lying on their backs in their houses."
"So why did they shoot them?"
"I believe that they were trying to amuse themselves. Daniel Boone said that they didn't enjoy the killing as much as they had expected to."
"You may go back to your brothers. The prosecution rests. Do any of you men have anything to say in your defense?"
Some frantic whispering followed. Daniel Boone spoke for them all.
"I was just funning you when I told you that story. We wasn't there when those villagers got shot. We didn't do it. We came across the village by accident a week or so after they had gotten themselves shot. Stopped to find out what the smell was. Saw all the dead rotting bodies. Thought we could take credit for it. I was just lying. Ain't no law against lying."
"The court will now call a rebuttal witness. He'll be here in a minute or two," and Hank pointed to the solitary figure walking towards them along the dusty trail.
# # # # # # # #
"State your name."
"Will."
"Did you enter a town of pacifists in Nevada last year only to find something disturbing?"
"Yes. All the people in the village, including the children, had been shot through the forehead. They were just lying on the floors of their homes."
"Please describe everything you saw and did in that village as fully as you can."
Will did. Wolf and his brothers were disturbed to hear the story. Daniel Boone and his gang were downright vexed.
"So as I understa
nd you," Hank began the court's summary, "you buried all of the dead people in that village and left."
"Yes. We put them all in one big grave and said some words. We left as soon as we could."
"And when you found them, the bodies hadn't started to rot. There was no stench. Chickens were still there. The cows weren't in distress."
"That's right. We must have entered the village only a day after they were shot."
"So if I were to tell you that these seven men have claimed to come across this village, and saw the rotting, smelly bodies of the citizens lying in their homes, what would you say about their account?"
"They're lying. Those rotting bodies wouldn't have been in their homes to find."
"The court will now issue its verdict. I find that the seven men sitting before me are guilty of murdering six pacifist families in cold blood. From Wizard's testimony, I have heard how the leader of the gang described in his own words how he and his partners had killed these people. From Will's testimony, I have heard convincing details that the murders occurred as Daniel Boone had indeed described and that the gang could not have arrived at the scene weeks later. That was their defense and it was a lie. This trial is now adjourned. Justice will be administered shortly."
# # # # # # # #
Wizard had recovered his rope, Lucas and Reese had hitched the horses to the wagon, and all of the youngsters were now on the dusty trail out of town. Hank had sent them off with a little speech.
"You all have acted as men today. You captured a gang of cowards who have terrorized many villages and killed many people for their own entertainment. You have participated in a court of justice. That experience doesn't come along too often these days. Our family believes in standing up for what is right even if doing that can be dangerous and perhaps a little scary. I hope that you also will stand up for what's right when you're adults. The public part of justice is now complete. A guilty verdict has been announced. But the administration of justice is generally done privately and so you are no longer required to be here. Wizard is in charge. Move into the mountains as soon as it's safe to do so and Wolf and I will meet you at the usual spot."