This time, though, it was different, because the thought of walking away from Trick and never seeing him again made her heart hurt.
She was in deep trouble.
Chapter Nine
Stella got into position and waited for the music cue, her body tense, but her entire being focused. When the music started, she felt it enter her soul, her limbs moving in time to the strains of the recorded orchestra. Her body had memorized every note, her soul embedded in this role.
This was what she loved the most about dance, the way she could embody a role, letting the music carry her away. After months of practice, she could dance this part with her eyes closed. She knew where she needed to be. She knew every movement, every leap, each turn, and where her partner was going to be so when she threw herself into the air, he would be there to catch her. Because dance was always about trust, especially when you were relying on someone else to be there for you. They had all been working so hard, and it was finally coming together, especially this oh-so-important opening scene. She felt this scene in her bones, dreamed about it at night, made each step in her head when she stood in line at the grocery store.
The dance was fluid, each of them moving seamlessly around each other. It was a breathless feeling, and she wished she could be on the outside looking in. Even though they weren't in costume, she felt the perfection of it all, and when it ended, she lay on the floor in her partner's arms, the two of them looking up at each other and grinning.
"Good, huh?" Nevin said.
"Fucking perfect, if you ask me." Stella grinned back at him, then Nevin pulled her off the floor.
"Well, that was okay. You all can do better. Take ten, then we'll move onto the second scene," Lawrence said, then headed off the stage.
Lisa walked over. "He said it was okay."
Stella found her water in her bag and took several swallows. "I know, right? High praise coming from our esteemed choreographer."
"It's almost like he thought we were good," Nevin said.
Stella laughed. "Now don't go thinking that. You know he thinks we all suck."
Nevin nodded. "Alas, so true. Why he chose us, I'll never know."
They spent several minutes going over the next scene while also rehashing how very awesome the opening was. Stella didn't care what Lawrence said. She'd felt that dance deep inside. They'd nailed it. She'd nailed it.
"I need to make a call before he wants us up for round two," Nevin said. "Catch you all in a bit."
Nevin wandered off.
"I need to do the same," Lisa said.
"Okay." Stella just longed to sit down for a few minutes, so she went to the edge of the stage, figuring she'd let her legs dangle and rest.
She skidded to a halt on the stage when she saw Lawrence in deep conversation with a very tall, extremely good-looking man she recognized right off as Trick.
What the hell was he doing at the theater? And why was he talking to Lawrence?
"There's Stella now," Lawrence said. "I'll let you go. Nice talking to you, Trick. And thanks again."
"It was my pleasure, Lawrence. Say hi to Jonathan for me."
"I definitely will."
Trick and Lawrence shook hands--like they were old friends. For Christ's sake, Lawrence even smiled.
That man did not smile. Ever.
What the ever-loving fuck was going on? Had she fallen and bumped her head? Because this had to be some kind of dream.
She walked off the stage and met Trick.
"What are you doing here?"
"I sat in the back and watched your rehearsal."
"What--how? Rehearsals are closed. Lawrence is a monster about that. No one gets to watch. Hell, he wouldn't let his own grandmother watch a rehearsal."
His lips curved. "Well, I don't know about that, because I just did. You're incredible, by the way. The way you dance, Stella? I never knew you were that good. I'm really impressed. But I can see why you complain about Lawrence. He's really hard on you. On all of you."
Ignoring his compliment, her head spun at the information pouring into it. Not only had he watched the rehearsal, but--
"Oh, God, Trick. Please tell me you didn't say anything to Lawrence about him being hard on me." She'd die. She'd not only die, she'd get fired.
"Of course not. This is your job, Stella. I'd never interfere in that."
"And yet here you are. At my job. Don't you have your own job to go to? You have a game tonight."
He gave her a warm smile. He was obviously happy about being here, while she was not. It unnerved the hell out of her.
"Warm-ups aren't until later. I had some time, so I thought I'd drop by and see you dance. Is that a problem?"
"Yes, it's a problem. It's a big problem."
"I don't understand why."
She didn't know why, either, other than she knew he wasn't supposed to be here. Something just wasn't sitting right with her. "How did you even get in here?"
"Let's just say I know people who know people."
She laid her water bottle down on one of the seats and crossed her arms. "Explain that to me."
"I found out Lawrence's boyfriend Jonathan is a big hockey fan. So I might have pulled some strings and said I could get them season tickets if Lawrence would let me pop in this morning to watch some of your rehearsal."
Stella knew it was really damn hard--if not nearly impossible--to get Travelers season tickets. "It was that important to you to watch me sweat on stage during a rehearsal?"
"It wasn't that big a deal, honestly. You're blowing this way out of proportion. I wanted to watch how hard you were working--which is very hard, by the way. I saw an opening and I took it. Lawrence was happy to let me watch. It's not like I'm in here with some camera taking pictures that I'm going to sell to competitors or to the paparazzi, and he knows that. I wanted to see my girlfriend dance, and he gets to surprise his boyfriend with season tickets to the Travelers games. It's a win/win."
There were so many things wrong with what he'd just said, but she'd zeroed in on the one word that made her sweat more than all the grueling hours of rehearsal she went through.
"I'm not your girlfriend."
"Oh, I see. So I should have said 'that chick I'm fucking'?"
She rubbed the side of her head. "You're giving me a headache."
"And I don't get why this is a thing. What's wrong with me watching you dance? I told you the other day I hadn't seen you dance yet, and I wanted to. I figured this was a great opportunity. I'm sorry it freaked you out."
It had freaked her out. For so many reasons it made her head spin.
He pulled out his phone. "Listen, I gotta go. You looked amazing up there--like you were born to be on the stage. See you at the game tonight?"
She nodded mutely, and he turned and left.
No good-bye. No kiss. No . . . anything.
Then again, she'd been the one to rain on his parade, hadn't she? So what did she expect? Flowers and him bending her over backwards with a swooning kiss? He'd tried to surprise her with something sweet, and she'd been a major bitch about it.
She was a moron.
A moron who didn't know what she wanted.
***
"I don't understand women."
Trick sat in the locker room after an intense late afternoon practice with his team.
Drew was sitting next to him and nudged him with his shoulder. "Dude. We're not supposed to. That whole mystery thing is what's so fun about them."
Trick shook his head and stared down at his skates. "I don't know. This whole thing with Stella is about as mysterious as waking up after an all-night bender with one hell of a hangover, cotton mouth, and no memory of the night before. Only you know you had a shitty night and not a good time."
Drew gave him a look. "That bad, huh?"
"Yeah."
"Wanna talk about it? Maybe I can help."
He gave Drew a look. "I don't know. Stella gives me mixed signals. She's with me, but it's like she doesn't reall
y want to be."
"Carolina would likely say that maybe Stella's scared of commitment."
Trick snorted. "Wow, you've learned some things."
"I pick stuff up here and there. Living with a woman will do that to you. But seriously, have you talked to her about it?"
"She's not really into talking about the deep shit."
Drew's brows rose. "And you are? Since when?"
"I don't know. I guess since Stella."
"Huh. Big admission for you, since you were always such a player."
Trick shrugged. "Maybe I don't want to be a player anymore. Now I just have to convince Stella."
Drew laughed and slapped Trick on the back. "Try talking to her, and keep talking until she hears what you're saying."
"I guess."
"Now, enough about women. We have a big game tonight and you need your focus."
Drew was right about that. He had to shake off thoughts of Stella and put them where they belonged.
On the game, where they were supposed to be.
They needed this win tonight.
After they kicked Detroit's ass, he'd turn his attention back on the woman who was currently tying his stomach up in knots.
Chapter Ten
Stella met Carolina in the club suite.
"You look hot, as always," Carolina said.
Stella looked down at her black skinny jeans, her knee-high boots, and her green sparkly top that she'd covered with a leather jacket. "I thought I was dressed kind of average tonight."
Carolina looped her arm through Stella's. "Honey, you are anything but average. You look gorgeous."
"So do you. I'm in love with that cream jacket. The strategic placement of those zippers is killing me."
Carolina laughed. "Of course. It's always about the zippers for you, isn't it?"
"All the time."
They wandered over to the buffet and found something to eat and drink, then grabbed a seat with a prime view of the guys during warm-ups.
"How's it going with the design stuff?"
"Actually, pretty good," Carolina said. "We're on schedule, I have amazing models to walk the runway for me, and we just finished a fitting for everyone this morning. Fingers crossed, because I don't want to jinx anything, but it looks like everything's going smoothly."
"I'm glad to hear it. Is Drew going to walk for you this year?"
Carolina laughed. "Unfortunately, no. He claimed that was a one-time thing last year, so he refuses to be a model for me again. Though the ad campaign he did on the ice was incredibly successful."
"Of course it was. Hot hockey player wearing Carolina Designs underwear? How could it not be?"
"He did look spectacular on those billboards, didn't he?"
"I'll say."
Carolina's gaze strayed to the ice, where Drew and Trick were passing the puck back and forth. "Maybe I could convince Trick to model my underwear this year."
"I'm sure you could convince Trick to model naked for you."
Carolina laughed and turned her attention back to Stella. "And you wouldn't mind that?"
She shrugged. "I don't own the man, or any part of his body. He's all yours."
"Hmm, that sounds a lot like you two might have had a fight."
"We didn't fight at all. To fight means we have a relationship, and you know I don't do that."
Carolina took a sip of water and leaned back in her chair. "Okay, spill. What's going on?"
"Nothing, really."
"Stell, I know you. You're always so free and easy about the men you see. There's clearly something more going on with you and Trick."
That was the problem with best friends--they knew everything about you. Or, almost everything, anyway. "Fine. We've been getting closer and it's unnerving me."
"Unnerving you in what way?"
She gave her friend a pointed look. "Mainly that I've allowed it to happen at all."
"Ah, I see. Because that goes against your standard MO of fuck 'em and leave 'em."
"Exactly. What's wrong with me? We hooked up last year, and that was fine and all. Okay, it was more than fine. It was great. But then we drifted apart, and here we are again. I never do this. I never see a guy twice."
"But, like you said, here you are. Why is that?"
"I don't know. I mean beyond the sex, we're going out and doing things. He took me to the park and we went ice-skating. We bought a tree for his place and decorated it together. And then he showed up at the theater today and watched me dance."
"Horrors."
Stella slanted her a look. "Seriously. Rehearsals are closed, and yet Lawrence welcomed Trick with open arms. I didn't even know he was there until we had a break."
"Maybe Lawrence is a big hockey fan."
"His partner is, and Trick snuck in there by promising Lawrence season tickets to the Travelers so he could surprise his partner."
"Awww, that's sweet. He cares enough about you that he wanted to see you dance, Stell."
Stella shrugged.
"And all the other things, like shopping for a tree, and going ice-skating together? That sounds like two people who enjoy each other going out and having fun."
"It sounds like a relationship," she shot back, then realized her voice had a little more force and venom than she would have liked.
"You're making it sound like a bad thing, when in fact, it sounds to me like the man is in love with you."
Stella took a long swallow of her water and sighed. "That's what I'm afraid of."
"So you don't return his feelings."
"I do. That's the problem. The big, huge thing that keeps me up at night. I think I've fallen in love with him, Carolina. Do you know how awful that is?"
Carolina shook her head. "No, honey, I'm sorry, but I don't." She reached over and smoothed her hand over her hair. "What are you so afraid of?"
She'd never talked about it. Not to anyone. Greta knew about the breakup, but Stella hadn't even told her sister the real story. At least not what had kept her from committing to anyone all these years.
"I was dating this guy--Vernon--about eight years ago. I was eighteen when we met and we were together two years. It was so intense. We were in love. Living together. Planning a future together. We were both dancers. It was great, you know? He really understood me since we had the same career."
Carolina nodded. "Makes sense."
"I thought it was forever. Until he got a job offer to dance in Los Angeles. And he took it."
"Without talking to you about it?" Carolina asked.
Stella nodded.
"So he broke up with you?"
"No. He just assumed I'd give up my career here and move with him. He figured I'd get another job at some point out in L.A. Like my job at the time didn't even matter at all."
"That's insane."
"I agree. When I told him I wasn't moving, he got mad at me and complained about me not loving him. I did love him and I wanted to figure out a way to work things out, but with him there was no compromise. He'd made a unilateral decision without consulting me. I was heartbroken. I love New York, I had a great gig at the time, and I wanted to stay here. He said if I really loved him, I'd move with him. It was so black-and-white to him, when it was anything but to me."
Carolina shook her head. "Men can be so stupid and egotistical sometimes."
"Right? I told him I wasn't moving. I loved New York and intended to stay here. You would have thought from the way he looked at me that I'd cut off his right leg or something. He had the nerve to act like he was the one who'd been hurt."
Carolina rolled her eyes.
"The breakup was ugly. I thought I was going to marry him, and instead, he moved away. I lost trust in men after that."
"He hurt you. Badly. And no wonder you've been relationship-shy all these years. But all men aren't like Vernon, honey."
"Logic tells me that. My heart tells me something different. I just couldn't risk falling so deeply in love and letting someone hurt me like that ag
ain. Or maybe it's me. Maybe there's something broken inside of me."
"You're not broken, Stell. You were hurt, and when someone breaks your trust like that, it's hard to get over. I went through something similar with Drew, if you recall. It was hard for me to trust in him again."
Stella nodded. "I remember. And if I recall, my advice to you was to fuck him and dump him. Some sage advice that was. Drew's a great guy and he loves you. You love him. It all worked out for you, and clearly I had no idea what I was talking about. See? I don't think I can be trusted where men and my emotions are concerned."
Carolina laughed. "You were just trying to protect me. You were being a friend. And now I'm going to be one to you. Don't judge all men by how Vernon treated you. If you love Trick, maybe you should give him the benefit of the doubt. At least talk to him about your fears."
Maybe she should. She'd never told anyone about Vernon. And now she'd told Carolina, who hadn't made her feel stupid about it. "I guess. I'll try."
Carolina squeezed her hand. "See? Progress."
Chapter Eleven
They were tied two to two after the end of the second period. Trick's frustration level was high, but he was trying to keep his focus. They all were. It was intermission, so they sat in the locker room, attempting to figure out a strategy so they could win this goddamn game.
"They're killing off our power plays," their coach said. "We have to do better there."
Coach was right about that. They weren't taking advantage of the power plays. They'd had three so far and hadn't capitalized on any of them.
"Their goals have been lucky shots. We can beat these guys. Our strength and stamina are better, so let's go show them what we can do."
They stood, and raised their sticks in the air, touching them together.
"You guys are the best team I've ever coached," the coach said. "Now, let's kick their butts."
They took the ice to the cheer of the crowd, something that always fired up Trick. With the home crowd behind them, he knew they could win this. Now they just had to prove to their fans they were as good as the applause they were getting.
Drew took the face-off and Trick clutched his stick, ready for the puck. When it sailed away from him, he took off after it, only to skid to a halt when Drew scooped the puck up and shot it toward him. He was right by the net, so he took the shot.
It bounced off the right side of the goal and into the net, lighting up the lamp.