***
Thankfully my boots fit well. We walked and walked, climbing over rock and shale mountain slides where walking wasn’t probable. Ducking under fallen trees and leaving the faint game trail when overgrowth refused to allow us to pass, we pressed forward, following John’s lead.
We didn’t speak much. I’m not sure when silence with those men became comfortable. It wasn’t the norm for me, to be comfortable with just anyone. Maybe the circumstances forced us, or the promise from John had torn down all walls that would have kept me at bay.
Stopping under a boulder overhang, we all took a seat on the moss-covered rocky ground and closed our eyes. Soon the sun would set, minutes really, and the shadows didn’t give any hint as to the direction we traveled.
I slid the bag off my back, careful to check the pack clipped around my waist for Mom’s guns and Bible. I pulled out the book, longing to touch something of hers she’d held so dear.
Opening the cover, I stared at the family picture we had taken weeks before Dad and Braden had gone south. Mom had taped the photo inside the Bible and covered it with clear packaging tape to protect the surface. In blue ink she had written the date and our names, looping the Ls. Tracing her script with my forefinger, I couldn’t ignore the choking sensation in my throat and chest or the sadness filling my eyes.
No one else cried. No one else lost their control. John and Bodey had no idea where the rest of their family was. That would be worse. Bad was what I had. Worse is what they had.
I didn’t want to know what worst could be.
Swigging from the canteen, I licked my lips. The water had been in the aluminum container a while with its stale aftertaste and metallic bite. But I didn’t stop. I needed more. A fine sweat covered me and an ache in my muscles griped at me for walking so far, over-working muscles not completely rested from fleeing with Mom.
Bodey panted, wiping his forehead. “I haven’t run in a while. Good pace, Dad.”
John laughed. He clapped Bodey on the upper shoulder. “Struggling to keep up with your old man, huh? That makes me feel good, even if you are exaggerating.”
I lowered my water and watched their easy rapport. I never had ease with my mom, even when the rest of our family had been around. We always acted like a ruler separated us and we could never get closer than twelve inches or so.
The three of us fell into silence, the dark slipping over us.
“Are we going to have a fire?” I couldn’t help asking. Not knowing what we were doing and leaving it in someone else’s hands was harder than I’d thought.
John shook his head. “No. It brings too much attention. We’re not stopping here longer than necessary. We need to get to a more stable shelter.”
Guilt overcame me. I had to apologize again. “I’m sorry. They were there for me. Nothing would’ve happened to your place, if I stayed away.” We wouldn’t be looking for shelter, or they wouldn’t.
“Stayed away? Do you think they knew you were there? I guarantee they had no idea.” John shook his head, cradling the canteen in his hands. “No, they were looking for trouble. Bodey and I saw that guy at another place. We were able to get out. It was only a matter of time before they’d head up toward our place.”
Yeah, I understood what he was saying. Charlie and his gang looted. They didn’t have an original idea in their heads. They stole the camp and the investors as well as the things to run it with.
Where would we go, though?
“Take a few more minutes, you two. Then we need to get going again.” He leaned his head back against the rocky wall and held his water in his empty hand. A dad was there – he wasn’t my dad, but he was a dad and he had our safety in mind. I hadn’t been comforted like that in a long time.
Bodey dug into his pack and pulled out a granola bar. Holding the snack toward me, he smiled. “Dad’ll sleep for a little bit, if you want to try and get some rest. I never do because naps always make me more tired.” He smiled and it was like the last few days hadn’t happened as a flush of warmth covered me. He used to smile at me in track, too, and my insides had gone all mushy then as well.
I took the treat and looked at my hands. “I don’t nap very well, either. Thank you.”
A stocking hat pushed the shaggy ends of his dirty blond hair down around his face, framing his strong jaw and brilliant blue eyes.
He’d passed the awkward adolescent phase his junior year – my sophomore year. I remember the first time I saw him after summer break when he came in for a cross country meeting. My friend had pushed my arm because my mouth had fallen open and I stared.
Broad shoulders atop a wide chest had tapered down into a tight waist. My cheeks had flamed too warm for me to look further. Okay, I peeked, but that’s all I’m going to comment on. He’d turned from talking to the boys’ coach and met my gaze. Dark lashes had mesmerized me and when he grinned and waved, I’d lifted my fingers but hadn’t smiled or anything. I froze.
He inclined his head and then turned and joined the boys.
I pretty much avoided him the rest of the season out of sheer embarrassment.
Bodey bit into his bar, watching out the overhang entrance. Forearms resting on his knees, he lost all expression in his face and the skin around his eyes tightened. “I’m sorry about your mom, Kelly.”
I didn’t want to talk about my mom. Not yet. “Thanks.” He already said that anyway. I bit into my own granola bar and stared in the same direction as him. For once, I wanted him not to talk to me. Sitting in silence with him would be perfect. I wouldn’t be alone, but I also could lose myself in my thoughts.
He seemed to read my mind and together we watched the darkness fall completely and the stars peek above the tree line.
Kind of a crazy first date. I would never tell him I was going to count it as a date. He’d probably think I was insane. He’d be right.