“Honey?” Paul said, in wonderment as he took a seat.
“Mom, you okay?” Evan asked, mystified, sitting next to him.
“No, I’m not okay, and I’ll tell you why.” Mindy scrolled to the saved photos on her phone, held up her phone to face them, and started an XXX-rated slideshow for her son and her husband. “Evan. What in God’s holy name are these photographs doing on your phone? Who is Amanda? Why are there so many different ones? And are you texting the photos to anybody else, because if you are, Heaven help you, I am going to rearrange your very handsome face.”
“Oh no!” Evan’s eyes flew open.
“Oh no,” Paul said, aghast.
“Oh, yes,” Mindy corrected. “And Evan, before you answer, I also want to know who you’re buying presents for, and what you’re doing with the money, because you’ve withdrawn ten thousand dollars from your account over the past three months. So either you’re buying drugs, buying women, or buying tattoos—”
“I can explain, Mom—” Evan interrupted, panicky, but Mindy wasn’t finished venting yet.
“Evan, why are these girls sending you these photos?” Mindy stood above Paul and Evan, folding her arms, and she had never felt more powerful in her life. “Do you ask or do they offer? If you sent them to anybody, you’re transmitting child pornography, do you realize that? You can go to jail! Everybody you sent them to can go to jail, if they send it on. If you have an explanation, you better start explaining right now!”
“I can explain,” Paul interjected, his tone quiet, and Mindy wheeled around to him.
“Paul! Don’t tell me you knew what this is about! If you knew and didn’t tell me then you’re going to have more to answer for than Carole’s real birthday, because the one you told me was a lie!”
Paul grimaced. “Honey, I didn’t know about the pictures—”
Evan interjected, “Mom, Dad didn’t know about the pictures, he didn’t know about any of it—”
Paul shook his head. “I knew about the money, Evan. I can explain about the money—”
“Dad, you don’t have to.” Evan put a hand on Paul’s arm, and Mindy could see they were trying to protect each other. Boys will be boys, covering each other’s asses against Mean Mommy, The Disciplinarian, the Mother of Us All, the Boss Bitch.
“No more games, either of you!” Mindy barked. “I want the truth and I want it now.”
Paul sighed, then said, “Honey, as I started to say, I can explain about the money, it went to pay for—”
“I got a girl pregnant,” Evan said, finishing the sentence.
Mindy almost fell over. She wasn’t sure she had even heard him right. “You what?”
Evan reddened, flustered. “Mom, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. It was an accident. I always use protection, I do. I know you told me, I know all about it. But this one time I didn’t, she was drinking, and I was drinking, and it was legit consent, but we didn’t use protection, and then she told me she was pregnant and she wanted to, well end the pregnancy—”
“An abortion?” Mindy groaned, stricken. She had a million thoughts at once. An abortion, a baby. Evan got a girl pregnant. A baby had been aborted. Her son’s baby. Her grandchild. It was too much, and she sank into the couch opposite them, suddenly powerless, helpless, useless.
“Mom, don’t be upset, really, it’s all fine now, we took care of it, that’s what the money was for.” Evan leaned forward urgently. “When it happened, when she told me, I went to Dad and I told him that the girl didn’t want the baby. Believe me, I didn’t have a choice even if I wanted a baby, she wasn’t about to have it and neither were her parents—”
Mindy listened, appalled. Paul knew. Her parents knew. Everyone knew but Mindy. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t interrupt her son, who was talking a mile a minute anyway.
“—I went to Dad because I didn’t want to upset you, and he said I had to pay for it out of my own money because that’s my fault and I have to learn to accept the consequences and all that. So we took it out of my own account and we knew you never look at my statements, so we thought it would be fine.”
Mindy’s mouth had gone completely dry, and she turned to Paul. “You thought this would be fine? You paid for a girl to abort your son’s first child and you didn’t even tell me? And you thought that was fine?”
“Yes, I’m sorry, honey.” Paul kept his surgeon’s demeanor, experienced at delivering bad news. “I thought it would be the best way to handle it, just Evan and me. I didn’t want you to get upset, and we knew that you would. So we took care of the problem ourselves.”
“The problem?” Mindy shouted. “It wasn’t a problem, it was a baby, our grandchild, and I had a right to know that baby existed. You didn’t tell me because you thought I would say no, because I could stop you, so you just ignored the fact that I exist. How could you? How could you keep it from me?”
“I thought it was best, considering, that last year was so difficult—”
“Ha! Oh, I get it! So, because you kept your affair a secret, which almost ended our marriage, you also decided to keep this a secret, too. Which therapy session did we cover that in? Because I must’ve missed that one!”
Paul frowned, glancing at Evan. “Honey—”
“What?” Mindy knew Paul didn’t like that she’d just let Evan know about his affair, but she was beyond caring. “Yes, Paul, you had an affair, and now Evan knows it, too. Our son is not a child anymore, since he made a child of his own. The jig is up, wouldn’t you say, Gramps?”
Evan said nothing, without looking over at his father.
Paul sighed, contrite. “I’m so sorry, honey. I should’ve told you. I just wanted to make it easier on you, and that may have been a mistake, but I own that.”
“Oh you own that?” Mindy hated that Paul used therapy-speak but had learned zero in therapy. “Don’t you think that’s wrong, that that’s terrible, that your son got a girl pregnant? When did you buy him the BMW, before or after?”
Evan made a little hiccup, his eyes suddenly brimming with tears. “Mom, I’m really sorry, I really am. I would never do it again, and if I could take it back, I would—”
“Evan.” Mindy felt unmoved, turning to him, shaken to her very foundations. She felt as if she were seeing him with new eyes, as if she had been sleepwalking through her own life. “Evan, I don’t know what to say to you. I don’t know what to do about this.”
“Mom, you don’t have to do anything, it’s over now.”
Paul nodded. “Honey, it is over. I swear to you. It’s over. We dodged a bullet, and we came out fine.”
“You don’t even know how bad it got,” Evan added.
“No, I don’t, why don’t you tell me?” Mindy realized that she had never disliked her son before, and now she hated him. Hated her own child. Hated the man he was growing into, or had already grown into. Hated her son and her husband. Hey Facebook, how do you like the Kostis Klan now?
“Mom, she started to ask for more money because she wanted to get the abortion in New York so nobody would know, and we said yes, because we were worried that everybody at school would find out—”
Paul interrupted, “And at the club and the hospital, too. We didn’t want it to get around.”
“Oh God.” Mindy moaned. Her phone rang in her hand, and she glanced down to see who was calling, but it was a number she didn’t recognize, so she pressed the screen to send it to voicemail.
Evan was saying, “Dad took care of it. We gave her as much money as we could, and she took, like, two weeks off from school. She stayed at a hotel in New York, it cost a lot.”
Paul nodded. “I cut her off at ten grand in cash, and she accepted it, and so did her parents, and it’s over. They don’t want it to get around, either. It’s a terrible chapter in our lives, but it’s over.”
“It’s not over for me. It’s just begun for me.”
“What do you mean, Mom?” Evan asked, his voice cracking. He wiped the tear from his cheek.
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“What’s this girl’s name, Evan? Is it Amanda, the girl sending you the naked pictures? Excuse me, one of the girls sending you—”
“Mom, no, it’s not Amanda.”
“So it’s a different girl? You got one girl pregnant, and another one’s sending you naked pictures? You told Amanda you love her, and she said she loves you!” Mindy couldn’t even follow. “What’s the name of the girl you got pregnant?”
“Mom, what’s the difference? She’s not from here. She goes to a different school.”
“How dare you! You answer this question! What is her name? Which one is she?” Mindy reached for her phone. “Is she one of the girls in this phone?”
“No, I said, I don’t see her anymore.”
“Evan, what’s the matter with you?” Mindy exploded. “What are you, a sex addict?”
Paul interjected, “Mindy, you don’t need to know her name.”
“Why, Paul? Because you don’t want me to look her up, to call her? You better tell me her name or I’m going to divorce you on the spot. You can go up and pack right now.” Mindy pointed upstairs again. “Right now.”
Evan answered, “Okay, her name is Cynthia Caselli. She goes to Rocky Springs. But, please don’t call her. You’re just gonna make everything worse.”
Paul chimed in, “Honey, he’s right. I dealt with these people. The Caselli’s are lowlifes. Let it go.”
“The hell I will!”
“Mom!” Evan jumped up, as tears spilled from his eyes. “You shouldn’t’ve been in my phone in the first place! You invaded my privacy! How do you even know the passcode? Why do you have to stick your nose into everything? Why can’t you just let it go?”
“How dare you!” Mindy rose, squaring off against Evan. “I can’t let it go because you’re my son. Don’t throw a tantrum about me not trusting you—if you’re not worthy of trust!”
“Mom, you didn’t know that when you went in the phone. You were just snooping around in things that aren’t your business.” Evan started to move toward the door, and Mindy went after him.
“You’re my business, and everything you do is my business!”
“I’ve had it with you! I’ve had it with you both.” Evan stormed out the door, letting it slam behind him.
“Don’t walk out when I’m talking to you!” Mindy started to go after him, but Paul appeared at her side, holding her arm.
“Let him go, honey. He needs to cool down. Let him think it over.”
“Oh, what do you know?” Mindy wrested her arm out of his hand as if he were a complete stranger, which was exactly how she felt. “He can’t walk out on me when I’m talking to him. That’s rude and disrespectful, and he needs limits. When are you going to figure that out? When he gets another girl pregnant? How many BMWs can you buy him, Dr. Kostis?”
“Min—”
“He’s sick of the two of us? I’m sick of the two of you!” Mindy turned and ran upstairs to her bedroom to figure out whether the Kostis Klan could be saved.
Or should be.
Chapter Thirty-nine
Susan went downstairs as soon as she heard Ryan come home from therapy and head into the kitchen. She’d called and postponed her and Raz’s session until later this afternoon because the situation needed to be dealt with immediately, not by a therapist, but by her. She had the gun wrapped in a pink towel from her bathroom, without really knowing why. She didn’t feel angry anymore, only sad, and underneath that, she had a renewed sense of purpose. To put the Sematovs back together, however reconstituted, after Neil’s death.
Susan entered the kitchen, and Ryan was standing in front of the refrigerator with the door open, staring at it like it was a television. He’d been doing that since he was little, and she used to yell at him for wasting electricity. Not today. He looked predictably drained, his skin pale and his blue eyes washed-out. He looked so much like her, with her dark brown hair, which he wore short, and he had a longish nose with thin lips, which right now were pursed.
“Ryan, hi.”
“Hi,” Ryan answered, without looking over. He was very tall, six-foot-four, but he hunched rather than stood, his head slightly forward. He’d lost weight since Neil’s death, which emphasized his bad posture, or maybe he’d just been downcast since then.
Susan set the wrapped gun on the kitchen table. “You hungry?”
“Just thirsty. I did a drive-through on the way home.”
“Oh, good,” Susan said, not sure she believed him. She’d have to stop herself from second-guessing his every move. It wouldn’t be productive right now. “Why don’t you grab a soda and come sit with me? I want to talk about something.”
“Really, Mom?” Ryan sighed. “I’m kind of talked out.”
“I’m thinking there’s no such thing. Grab something to drink and come on over.”
“Fine.” Ryan closed the refrigerator door without getting anything to drink, making a point, but Susan didn’t remark on it. He was so much like her it wasn’t even funny.
“What is it?” Ryan flopped into the chair and pressed it away from the table with an annoying scraping sound. Behind him, a small strip of sunlight came into the kitchen through the narrow window over the sink, and Susan felt bothered by that, for the first time. The kitchen was large, but it was dark, with walnut cabinets that made it seem darker. It needed more light. More windows. Maybe she could renovate and blow out a wall, later.
“How you feeling?” Susan asked, testing the waters.
“Okay.”
“How was your session?” Susan liked the way he met her eye directly. She was pretty sure that he hadn’t been drinking today. She realized how much she had missed the steadiness of his gaze, and the intelligence there. He was the rational one, and she’d always been able to talk to him. Even though he was closer to Neil, he was of her.
“It was okay. I liked it better than yesterday.”
“Good.” Susan peeled aside the corner of the pink towel revealing the silvery metallic barrel of the gun. “I just found this in your brother’s room.”
Ryan’s face went white, and he sighed again, audibly.
“I’m not mad, I just want to understand. Did you give it to him?”
“Yes, I did.”
“When?”
“After Dad died, like a month or two.”
“Where did you get it?”
“I don’t know, Mom.” Ryan shook his head, newly impatient.
“Ryan, you have to know where you got it.” Susan softened her tone, nonaccusatory.
“Honestly, I don’t.”
“Did you buy it in a gun shop?’
“No, from a guy.”
“What guy?”
“I don’t know.” Ryan averted his eyes. “I don’t remember.”
“Ryan, you bought a gun and you don’t remember who from?” Susan maintained her calm tone, for which she deserved an award. She didn’t have to be a detective to know that he was lying. “Okay, when did you buy it?’
“Like, a month after Dad died.”
“How is it that you remember that, but you don’t remember who sold it to you?”
“Because.” Ryan hesitated, returning his focus to her, with a frown. “I was at a party, Mom. I drank too much. I blacked out, and I bought the gun.”
“How much was it?” Susan asked, incredulous.
“Like I say, I don’t know.”
“Who was at the party?”
“A lot of guys I don’t know, mostly guys, some women, I just didn’t know the crowd.”
“Whose party was it? Where was it?”
“Just some people I met at this bikers’ bar, in Rocky Springs. They said you want to come over and party, and I went to some house, I don’t remember where it was. All I know is that I got drunk and I bought the gun.”
Susan tried to understand. “But a gun has to cost a couple hundred dollars. You never have more than twenty dollars on you. You weren’t working then, either. Who’s going to sell you a gun for twenty
bucks?”
Ryan blinked. “I don’t know, I don’t remember.”
Susan bore down. “Honey, I love you. I just don’t feel like you’re telling me the truth. It doesn’t make sense.”
Ryan fell silent, and she could see him going inward, which was his way. Her way, too. She got that from her father. Her side of the family kept it all inside, until they exploded.
“Ryan, just tell me. I won’t be mad. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things and we are going to make a lot of changes here for the better.” Susan hesitated, then tried to explain, the way she had with Raz. “We’re all hurting since your dad died, and we’ve lost our way, as a family. Me most of all. I think I delegated so much to him, he was the true head of our household, and without him, well, there’s been kind of an emptiness, a power vacuum.”
Ryan seemed to be listening, and Susan realized that he was probably unused to her taking the time to sit down with him this way, not to mention being so vulnerable, so she continued.
“You know, there’s an expression, ‘nature abhors a vacuum.’ That means when there’s a power vacuum, things go wrong. The world gets out of whack. Well, I think our world has been out of whack. I haven’t stepped into that power vacuum yet, but I’m going to now. I have to be the head of this household. I made a lot of mistakes, but I’m going to try to get it right from now on. So please, tell me where you got the gun and why?”
“I stole it,” Ryan answered, after a moment.
“You stole it?” Susan asked, unable to keep the incredulity from her tone. Ryan was her mild child, the rules follower, the one who never did anything wrong—until his father had died. She arranged her face into a mask of calm, but inwardly, her emotions were all over the map. “How did you steal it? From where? From a store?”
“No, from a guy. I mean, everything I just told you about the party was true, and we all drank too much and I didn’t know those people, but there was this guy and he fell asleep and I saw the gun sticking out of his jacket pocket, and I just took it and I left.”