You’re Still The One
By Cheyenne Barnett
Copyright 2015 Cheyenne Barnett
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Book Cover Made By Cheyenne Barnett
Stock Photo By: tmarsee530 / Foter / CC BY. Changes were made.
Contents
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Chapter One
Love [ luv ]
1. To feel tender affection for somebody: to feel tender affection for somebody such as a close relative or friend, or for something such as a place, an ideal, or an animal.
2. To feel desire for somebody: to feel romantic and longing for somebody.
Love has many more definitions, but the true meaning of love, for me, is learning to find the beauty in everything. That is love. I always thought it was just an emotion. An emotion you feel about someone or something, but really, love is the way you look at things.
After I lost my fiancé, Nick, I thought I had lost the love of my life. I couldn’t understand why I had to lose someone so dear to me. I kept thinking, ‘Why couldn’t it be someone else? Why couldn’t it happen to anyone but me?’ and now, I realize that was selfish.
Losing a loved one is just a part of life; I’m sure it happens to everyone at some point or another, but when it happens to you, you can’t help but feel like you’re alone, it’s just human nature. You have to have time to grieve and sometimes, you have to feel sorry for yourself, in order to realize that you’re not the only human being on earth. Everyone deals with this.
When I got the letter from the army that said Nick had passed away, I didn’t know what to do. I had spent months planning this beautiful wedding and then all of a sudden, all my plans vanished. It had never even once crossed my mind that Nick might not make it home from Afghanistan.
I was so caught up in my fairytale, I wouldn’t let myself think negatively. Nick and I were high school sweethearts, I urged him to follow his dreams and go into the army, and I never thought twice about it. I just knew he would come back and we would get married and eventually, have kids. But I quickly figured out that sometimes, life doesn’t like your plan. It has its own and it doesn’t care if you like it or not.
After I received the letter, I felt like I was trapped in a bad dream. Everything was happening so fast, I couldn’t keep up. First, the General of the Army flew in to meet me, then Nick’s body was transported to the U.S., then the visitation and funeral. You have to keep in mind, all of this was just in a matter of two days. I didn’t have time to sit and think. I didn’t have time to realize that this, this was my reality.
I didn’t realize this until after the funeral. I finally had time to sit down and think. It was then that I fully grasped the situation; Nick wasn’t coming home and I wasn’t getting married. I was alone, again.
I did what every human being would do, I felt sorry for myself. What was I supposed to do? I had to make up another plan for my life and I wasn’t too keen on letting go of the original.
My problem was, I didn’t have anyone else to lean on. I didn’t talk much to my parents and I didn’t really have any friends, so Nick was all I had. I needed someone to give me a push and turns out, the person I had least expected, helped me the most.
Logan Cook was Nick’s best friend in the army, and he was also his Captain. I first met him the day Nick’s body was transported to the U.S. The General told me that if I wanted to know exactly what happened to Nick the night he was killed, Logan was the one to talk to.
I had a meeting with Logan later that day and he told me all the details. I was angry with him at first, he didn’t save Nick from the burning building. He saved the children first, but afterward, I realized that that was what Nick wanted and Logan respected his wishes.
That wasn’t the last time I saw Logan either, he was assigned to be my grief counselor right after the funeral. He stayed with me until the General thought I was ready to be alone again. Turns out, the General’s time wasn’t the right time and I ended up moving to the military base with Logan, just because I didn’t feel like I was ready to be on my own and not only that, but I felt like Logan was my friend, my best friend. He listened when I needed him to, gave his opinion when I needed it, and once, he saved my life.
After we moved to Virginia and after I felt like I was ready to move on, we began dating. I felt like it was what Nick wanted and a few months later, he popped the question, of course, I said yes.
Two years later, we’re still together and I can honestly say, I love him with all my heart… Sometimes, when I’m alone, I think about Nick. I miss him, he was my first love, but like I said earlier, to me, love is finding the beauty in things. If I hadn’t have lost Nick, I wouldn’t have met Logan, and for me, that would have been another tragedy…
But on to the exciting part, today is Logan and I’s two year anniversary! It’s hard to believe it’s been that long, it seems like just yesterday we were getting married. I had planned the wedding for months and when the big day came, all my planning had finally paid off.
We held the ceremony on the beach behind the house where Logan and Julie had once lived. I had chosen white and turquoise as my colors and they reflected the scenery wonderfully. The aisle was lined with stepping stones and beautiful assortments of flowers on either side. The arch was simple, made of white wood, and covered in turquoise curtains.
Logan had always said he wanted a small ceremony and I agreed. Logan had two groomsmen, his brother, Alex, and the General. I had two bridesmaids, Andrea, my old realtor, and Katie, Logan’s secretary. Both of them had become very good friends of mine and for the first time in a very long time, I actually had some girlfriends to go out and shop with.
As for our guests, some of Logan’s family came, including his mother, aunt and uncle, and a few of his cousins. A lot of his friends from the army also showed up, even some of the guys that were in the unit when Nick was killed.
My parents didn’t show, mostly because I hadn’t talked to them but once since I had moved. They had sold my old house and wired the money to my bank account and that was the last time I had heard from them.
Since my father didn’t come, the General gave me away. I walked down the aisle alone, well kind of. I say that because, I strongly believe Nick was there, in spirit. I started down the aisle on my own and I swear on my life, as soon as my feet touched the first stepping stone, a slow, calm breeze guided me to where the General stood. I had made it clear that I wanted the General to give me away, but I wanted him to wait beside the last row of chairs.
Even though Nick and I weren’t getting married, I felt a need to honor his memory on my wedding day. I wrapped his dog tags in my bouquet right before I walked down the aisle. When the wind started to blow, I stopped momentar
ily. Logan knew by the look on my face that Nick was there and within a few seconds, he felt it too.
I muttered a thank you to Nick before I continued down the aisle. The General met me at the end and gave me away to Logan before he took his place as a groomsmen.
It didn’t take long for the ceremony to wrap up and then we headed down the beach a little ways for the reception. The food was excellent and the décor was just as I had placed it earlier that day. All in all, the night was perfect; it was everything I had dreamed of.
The honeymoon lasted a week, and Logan and I had planned on just staying at the beach house until we opened the General’s wedding gift that is. He had arranged for us to fly to Hawaii and stay at the Hilton’s honeymoon suite. It was something neither of us were expecting, but I had to admit, that was definitely the best wedding gift ever!
Now, two years later, we’re spending our anniversary at the beach house. I have a feeling that Logan will remember this day for a very long time. I’ve been waiting almost two weeks to tell Logan the big news and today’s the day…
“Logan, what are you doing in there?” I ask, trying to peak around the living room door.
“Don’t you dare!” He says, placing his hand over my eyes. “Now, I have a surprise for you…” He leads me about ten steps forward before stopping. “Open.”
He removes his hand as I look up at the pale blue wall. It used to be lined with pictures of Julie and Logan, but now it’s all different. To the left side is a collage of pictures. Above it, a banner painted In Loving Memory of Julie Cook & Nickolas Vaughn.
Below the writing is the collage of photos. The first row is at prom, Julie with Logan and me with Nick. The second is of graduation, the third row is the last. In two matching black frames, is one of Julie and Logan on their wedding day and the other of Nick and me when he had proposed.
To the right is a quote, “Loved you yesterday, love you still. Always have, always will.” I smile as I look below at all the pictures of Logan and I. There’s pictures of us back in Kentucky, when we first met, pictures of our first date, his proposal, and our wedding. “Absolutely beautiful, Logan. Thank you.”
I hug him as I continue to look at all the pictures, “So, now that I have received my surprise, I suppose it’s time for yours.”
He looks at me questioningly, “Oh, really?”
“Yep, but I think you’d better sit down…” He does as I say then watches me as I sit in front of him, trying to figure out the best way to break the news.
“Well, what is it?” He asks, anxiously.
“Okay, so here’s the thing... You don’t really get your surprise right now, but you will.” He cocks an eyebrow, “When will I get it?”
“This is an estimation, but probably in about nine months or so…” I trail off as he tries to figure out my hint.
“Nine months? What happens in...” His eyes go wide. “You’re… You’re pregnant?”
I nod, “Congratulations, Mr. Soon-To-Be-Dad. You remember that guest room you decorated when I first bought the house? I think it’s going to need some major redecorating…”
He smiles, “I have to call my mom… I have to tell her she’s going to be a grandma.” He finds his phone and starts to dial her number. I’ve haven’t seen Logan smile this much since we got married…
We’re having a baby.
Granted, I was told I was pregnant almost two weeks ago, but saying it allowed for the first time makes it so real… Logan and I were going to be parents!