Chapter 10
Jerked awake by some nameless fear, Willy sat up in bed. Disoriented and panting, she looked around her. She saw the children still peacefully asleep and Max's head showing at the top his sleeping bag. It was just barely getting light and she thought of her last memory of the night. She must have fallen asleep in his arms and Max had put her back in her bed, covered her then crawled into his own bed. Warmth spread through her heart at his thoughtfulness. Try as she might, she just couldn't avoid the feelings she was beginning to have for him. She knew she could trust him with her life and she treasured the knowledge. He wouldn't take unfair advantage of her weakness as so many others would have done.
Settling back into her warm blankets, Willy remembered the fear she had felt just a few hours ago. She knew the kids would be upset that they had missed such an exciting event as having a bear in camp, but was glad they had been spared from witnessing her terror. It would have scared them immensely to see their mother so upset. Willy smiled as she thought what Aggie's reaction would have been. A lover of all animals, she would have wanted to pet the bear, no doubt.
As the sun arose and the new day began, first one then another sat up and looked around with sleep-filled eyes. Max was the first out of bed.
"What are you doing in here, Mr. Bell?" asked Allison. "Did you get too cold outside?"
"No, I didn't want to have to share my sleeping bag with a bear," he answered, smiling at her. "We had one visit us in the night. He must have been looking for marshmallows to roast."
His comments sparked immediate interest and he was bombarded with questions. When the whole story had been told, leaving out the part about their mother's panic attack and her valiant and warm-armed rescue by the resident ranger, they dressed and went out to find the bear tracks. There were several left in the dust of the road and around the fire pit. The children were thrilled. "Why didn't you wake us up so we could see it?" Jeffy wanted to know. "I always have to miss the best things."
"I didn't want to disturb you," Willy told him. "Let’s make our trip to the bushes and get cleaned up. I'll fix some breakfast. I'm starved!" She was happy to realize that her backside was no longer burning and all the hive bumps seemed to be gone.
After they had eaten, Max got on his CB and called the ranger station. They told him that the trucks were on their way to clean up the wreckage. He asked about any fire spottings and was told that everything looked fine. He instructed them to call him if he was needed and then signed off.
From the back of his well-stocked jeep, Max pulled out a fishing pole and announced his intention to see if any fish were biting today. Inviting them to join him, he walked the short distance to the river and found a likely looking spot to throw in his hook. He soon had everyone turning over rocks to find some juicy bugs to use as bait. When they had collected several fine specimens, Max instructed them on the importance of being very quiet so the fish wouldn’t hear them and be frightened away.
“Where are the fishes’ ears?” Allison wanted to know.
“They mostly just feel the vibrations of our voices and our feet,” Max told her. “They have really good eyesight also so they can watch us moving around. It’s good if we can stand close to some bushes and hold very still so they can’t spot us,” he explained.
The kids were enthralled and jumped up and down with joy when he pulled a fish out of the water after only a few minutes. "I'm going to see if he has a brother in there," he whispered to Jeffy. Sure enough, another fish was hooked and joined the first one in the grass.
Max cut a forked willow stick and made a fish carrier. Gingerly, Allison picked it up. The fish suddenly wiggled and startled her. Squealing, she dropped them and ran to her mother. Willy was almost as squeamish, but Aggie picked up the stick.
"Mr. Bell," she said in an injured tone of voice, "these fish are still alive. Can't you put them out of their misery? That's so cruel to let them suffer like that."
"You're right, Aggie," he answered. He took the fish off the carrier and one by one hit their heads hard against a rock. They didn't move anymore.
"Gross!" cried Aggie, astonished at his offhanded cruelty, her hand over her mouth.
Jeffy and Allison were shocked and looked at Max with big, sad eyes. "Did you have to kill them like that?" Allison asked. "Those poor fish."
Max laughed at her. "Well, I don't know how anybody can eat fish that are still alive. It was either that or let them die slowly from drowning in the air."
He let Allison try fishing but she wasn't too enthusiastic. Jeffy was willing and anxious to try, but he spent most of his time winding the line back in that Max or Willy extracted from willows, tree branches, or tufts of grass where it got tangled. He finally gave up and let Aggie have a turn.
She managed to land the hook in a good spot and with lots of expert advice, actually reeled in a fair-sized fish. Willy wasn't much for fishing and didn’t have a license anyway, so Max threw his line in a few more times. By the time they heard the rumble of an approaching truck, he had caught six more fish and invited himself for a fish fry lunch. He even volunteered to do the cooking.
Max cleaned the fish at the edge of the river to the accompaniment of many comments about blood and guts and other equally unappetizing things. Jeffy wanted to try using Max’s cool Swiss army knife, but his mother agreed with Max about the danger of such a sharp thing in little hands. Aggie ran back to the camper for a plastic bag and the fish were placed on ice in the cooler.
Meanwhile, a tow truck and another logging truck had arrived. Max joined the other men who began walking around the wreck looking it over and discussing the best way to get it back on its wheels. They could see that the logs would have to be moved out of the way first, so the next several hours were spent in winching them back from the river. They would be loaded when a log crane truck arrived later in the day.
Max took a break from helping the men when they stopped for lunch and, true to his word, cooked a most delicious pan full of tender trout for Willy’s family. Those who had watched the killing and gutting of the fish were reluctant to taste any at first, but Max persuaded them to try just a morsel. Even Aggie loved it when she had been challenged to give it a taste. When every last bite was gone, Jeffy asked Max if he would live with them all the time and catch fish for supper every night. Everyone laughed, but Max answered in a serious voice, his eyes on the little boy but glancing at his mother.
"That would make me very happy, little man," he said. "I can't think of anything I'd rather do."
Dismayed and confused by the look in his deep eyes, Willy turned red and changed the subject, pointing to the tow truck operator who was just beginning to connect the cables to the tipped over truck. "Look," she said. "They’re hooking it up to pull the big truck back over."
The rest of them went outside to watch the action. Max offered to stay and wash the dishes, but Willy shooed him out with the others. She needed a little time to get composed.
"Just what did he mean by that?" she asked herself. "How could he want to live with us all the time when he just met us three days ago? I couldn't tell from the look in his eyes whether he was kidding or not. He didn't sound like he was."
Willy thought about it for a long time. He couldn't have meant it like it sounded, she decided. She was disturbed by the continued impact the man kept having on her emotions. Searching through the drawers, she pulled out Ryan's picture and looked at it for a long time. "I won't break my promise," she said to the smiling face in the picture. "You'll never be replaced in my heart."
It wasn't long before she heard the grinding and straining of the winch on the tow truck. She looked out the door in time to see the big rig flip back over onto its wheels in a cloud of dust. The tractor had been hauled upright first and now the trailer was righted.
It took a while to move both out of the roadway. The men climbed under the bridge to check it for damage. It appeared to be sound and Max told Willy it was safe to drive ove
r. "I have to leave now to take care of some business back at the Grey's Ranger Station. Are you going back to Cottonwood soon?"
"Yes, I've got a little straightening up to do so we'll leave in a while. I know the way," Willy assured him. She was relieved at his leaving. She had decided that the more distance there was between them, the less danger of her thoughts and emotions going places they didn't belong.
"Willy?" Max said her name softly. She looked up at him. "I really meant what I said about joining your family. I like being in your company." He reached out a hand toward her, but she turned, pretending not to notice. "Last night was really unique for me. I've never held a quivering woman in my arms quite so long before."
"How long did you have to stay up?" she asked, embarrassed. "You must have been cold. I'm sorry I'm such a nervous wreck around animals."
"Don't be sorry!" he insisted, "I enjoyed every minute of it. I would have been willing to sit there and hold you all night but your skin felt cold so I put you in your bed."
Dismayed by the look in his eyes and by the increased tempo of her own heart, Willy turned away again. She knew she owed him thanks but instead decided to be heartless and cold. "Well, I'm sure you've got things to do, so I won't keep you any longer." Turning back to him, she lifted her chin with determination and gave him the set-down he didn't deserve, but that she felt was her duty.
"Mr. Bell,” she began, avoiding his eyes. “I don't want you to touch me anymore, please. Even if I’m scared, please just leave it. I’ll be fine. It isn't right and I don’t want to keep imposing on you. Now leave and go about your own business. I've got plenty to do and I can take care of myself. I'm grateful for your help, but just leave us alone from now on."
Finally lifting her eyes to his and firmly keeping them steady on his face for a few seconds, Willy turned on her heel so he couldn't see the sudden tears that had started to her eyes. She had seen the crestfallen and bewildered look in his eyes and it almost broke her heart. She knew it was unfair to be so mean, but she just couldn't afford the feelings he kept stirring inside her. It wasn’t right for her, a wife who had promised a dying husband her complete fidelity, to encourage any advances from other men, attractive and good hearted though they might be.