Chapter 19
“Where is our book?” Will asked Private Lukas who was propped up on gray pillows and blankets.
The hospital was bleak with only a few oil lanterns to light the room along with the afternoon’s faded yellow rush of sunlight from an open door. The private’s broken arm was in a sling, close to the lad’s thin chest, covered in a muslin shirt. The covering may as well have come off, for the fabric was all but translucent. Will noticed how thin the private was, mayhap not owed to a lack of food, but to his age, since he was merely a large child. Lord, why did it seem the army recruited younger and younger men during times of crisis, like now? Will didn’t think Lukas was even ten and seven. He wished he could whisk the young private far from the war, far from what he’d probably already borne witness to—the savagery of battle.
Private Lukas smiled widely through Will’s dark thoughts. “Can’t read our book, sir. The doctor has it. So I suppose you’ll have to tell me about Lady Ferguson.”
“Do I?” Will couldn’t help but grin back.
The private cleared his throat and looked down at his limp hand. “I...I’ve heard she’s the most handsome lady the doctor has ever seen.”
Will arched a brow.
“An-and she is a wicked good shot. Pardon, sir.”
Will laughed. “Her aim is most amazing, yes.”
“Do you find her bonny?”
Will lost his grin, finding that talking about Erva’s beauty brought about a serious edge to his face, his soul. He wasn’t grim as he had been about Private Lukas’s condition. No, he was rapturously serious, as a priest would be in a cathedral. He didn’t mean to worship her or put her on a pedestal, for he knew how utterly human she was, had seen it when she’d run from him last night. That vexed him now. Granted, at first he’d thought he had charged at her too fast, too furiously. But now...he couldn’t help wonder if something else was interfering with her wanting to be with him. Perhaps she was over thinking things. Then again, mayhap he wasn’t thinking enough.
Will nodded. “She is so beautiful...it makes me stop breathing sometimes when I catch sight of her.”
The private leaned farther into his pillows, looking as if, had he the ability, he’d stretch both hands behind his head. With another wide smile he looked up at the ceiling of the army’s hospital, Will thought, to fantasize about beautiful women, as Will had been prone to do at his age. Ah hell, Will still loved to do that, especially so when considering Erva.
Glancing at the roof himself, Will noticed how shoddy of a building it was. It seemed that army hospitals became rickety all too fast, as if the buildings themselves groaned and decayed under the weight of the dead, dying, and suffering. In the large chamber the private occupied, there were many men lying on straw pallets, or cots, if one was lucky, like Lukas. The room where the young private lay was full of men with other broken limbs and one with a broken skull who lay in a daze. But the next room over was full of men with smallpox. Will had had it when he was a young lad and somehow survived. The only proof was a few small scars along his neck. Still, he remembered being deathly sick, and now tried to visit the infected men often. However, it always brought sadness when he did, for the men died daily from the disease.
It was part of war, he’d been told. The casualty rate of the infirmed was just another part of war. But he hated it. He realized he hated all of it now. There’d been only one reason why he’d wanted to join the fight, and now that plan no longer seemed valid. It had been stupid and thoughtless and...
By God, but Erva saved his life, saved him. He hoped she would talk to him, let him apologize for his behavior, or mayhap she could explain why she left, anything just to let him close to her again.
“I want to find me a wife like that,” Private Lukas said, interrupting Will’s thoughts once more.
Will wished to have her as his wife also. Mayhap it was too soon to think of marrying. Then again, in matters of the heart was it ever soon enough? Will sighed, trying to explain the poetry of his sentiments. “As beautiful as she is, Private, it is her heart that...” he trailed off, yet again words seemed a tad beyond Will’s control.
Private Lukas turned back to him with a happy smile. “Captures you?”
Will grinned himself and nodded. “Aye.”
The private sighed. “So when will you marry her?”
Will glanced up at the sound of Dr. Goodfellow’s suddenly loud voice, booming something about a surprise. There, more than twenty feet away, she stood. Good Lord, he wasn’t sure if he’d ever breathe again. In the one open doorway the sun shifted and flowed happy, sunny beams down upon Erva in a bright red uniform coat with a wide, black, and masculine hat that Erva made extraordinarily feminine. She appeared simultaneously wildly female and strong. A lovely combination he’d never seen before. She was going to break his heart, and he knew it. For why would such an exotic creature ever love him?
Still, he had to see if she could. Love him, that was. Hopefully not the former.
She walked in as if gliding. He stood, feeling nervous as a boy, even while his mind raced back to images of her naked before him, bathed in silver moonlight and gasping in pleasure. His cock instantly tightened. His own pleasure exploded through his stomach, down his thighs.
Her smile seemed a tad forced, and Will tampered his own grin, hoping not to make a complete fool of himself. He did have an ounce of dignity. Well, truth be told, it had been she who had given him that ounce. Trying to slowly walk to her, he met her at the foot of the private’s bed. He took her hand that she hadn’t quite offered and kissed it.
“My lady, what a pleasure to see you here,” Will said, surprised his voice sounded so low and raspy.
“Aye, this is most extraordinary, my lady,” said Dr. Goodfellow right behind Erva. “For we’ve never had a lady visiting our troops before.”
Erva turned back toward the doctor, her eyes round and wide, blinking. Will still held her hand and wondered if he felt her anxiety.
“I’m sorry—” she began.
But Will interrupted, never wanting to see such tension on her face again. “I think the doctor means to say that it is truly an honor and pleasure you are here.”
“Oh, yes, yes.” Dr. Goodfellow nodded.
She turned back to Will, a timid smile blooming, illuminating her cheeks into golden-pink perfection. Lord, he wanted her, wanted to take her in his arms, wanted to kiss her, take her clothes off and perform what he’d done last night all over again. But this time...he’d sink into her. He’d savor how she felt. He’d—best pay heed to the woman while she stood before him, looking perhaps more timid than ever before.
He hated seeing her shy, and worried he had something to do with her reaction. Of course, he had something to do with it. He should have told her his intentions. Courting...well, he didn’t know the steps to take. After all, he’d never truly courted his Julia. After encountering her, she’d asked him to meet her in secret. He’d thought her forward and loved it, but she had taken him on adventures through small villages, stealing bread and cheese along the way, sipping wine on the cuff, and all the while laughing. It was more than three months of dark adventures, running and chuckling uncontrollably at midnight, then Julia had taken him by the hand and shown him physical intimacy, actually teaching him exactly where to touch and how, like a schoolmarm would. But, heavens, the lessons were thrilling! They wed the fortnight after that first instruction.
Will would never forget how much fun he’d had with Julia, but all the while he’d worried he’d get caught, she’d get caught, or something untoward would happen. And it did. Just not when they were running wildly through the countryside. After they were married Will never stopped worrying.
Even now, standing with Erva, he thought of consequences. Damnation, he should have told her his intentions. He should have explained himself. No wonder the woman was shy with him now. But Will knew she was timid beyond not knowing what lay in his heart. She was such an odd dichotomy of stre
ngth and vulnerability, musical talent beyond compare and lack of assuredness, intelligence yet not knowing how commanding she was. Well, if it took him the rest of his life, he’d show her her strengths and power.
“My darling,” he caught himself whispering, before clearing his throat. “I’d like you to meet Private Gabriel Lukas.”
He turned to the private, trying to sit up with the use of his good elbow.
The lady curtsied and rushed to the young soldier, helping him prop up more, then fluffing his pillow. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you, Private Lukas.”
For several beats the private said nothing as the lady moved beside him, smiling down. His face was painted in red almost the same color as his hair. He kept swallowing and finally nodded. “P-p-pleasure’s all mine, my lady.”
She smiled widely. “You wouldn’t happen to be the same Private Lukas who knows how to shoot a rifled musket, would you?”
The young man blushed even more.
“He is one and the same,” Will answered.
Erva glanced at him, her smile shifting into something...wistful? Or was that pain that crossed her eyes. She blinked and stared at him for a heartbeat more, then turned back to the private.
“Have you joined the Queen’s Rangers then?”
Will’s chest puffed with pride when his lady spoke so learnedly of his army.
Lukas shook his head. “No, ma’am.”
But then it suddenly occurred to Will that he’d just sent a letter to Howe, wanting Lukas to be transferred to the Queen’s Rangers upon recovery. He wrote the letter only a week ago. How would Erva know that?
Lord, could she be a spy after all?
He inhaled, thinking fast. If she were, then he’d convert. Lord, he never thought himself a turncoat, and as much as he prided himself on his English blood, he didn’t believe in this war. He didn’t support it. The only reason he’d been here...
Mayhap he could convert Erva?
But what the hell was that odd glass box that lit up? A spy gadget? Or, perhaps, something more...magical?
It was time to get to the bottom of who she was. It was time to tell her his intentions that no matter what she told him, he wished to marry her. If she’d have him.
As Will and Dr. Goodfellow watched silently, Erva and Lukas chatted for a few minutes about rifled muskets, breach-loading rifles, and ammunition. She knew so much. More than any woman he’d met before. But then again, she’d said her father had been in the military. Perhaps her father had taught her all she knew. Perhaps someone else had.
Jealousy stung through his body like ice sliding down his back. This was new for him. Oh, he’d guarded Julia. He’d loved Julia, yes, but there hadn’t been enough time or opportunity for this emotion.
Now, watching his golden beauty chuckle at something the private said, he wanted to know about any man who might have loved her. No, that wasn’t quite the truth of it. He wanted to know if she had loved anyone else. At the same time, he didn’t want to know. Afraid he’d try to seek out the man and smash in his jaw.
Yes, it was time for answers.
“My lady,” he said when both the private and Erva had quieted. “Several officers and I are expected for tea at Lady Anne’s—the usual quest for money or men for the cause. Poor woman. Thus, I’m sure the lady would greatly desire your company. I hate to leave the private—”
“Well, the private’s had enough activity for one day, General,” Dr. Goodfellow said.
Private Lukas’s eyes had darkened with small half moons under them. But he stared at Erva in wide-eyed wonder all the same. Will didn’t blame the private. He’d done the same many a time.
Erva took the one healthy hand of the private’s. Giving it a squeeze, she said, “I hope to see you again, Private. And I hope you recover very soon. Perhaps in nine days. Or sooner.” She gave Will a mischievous grin then as if she knew something.
Well, it was time to find out.