"Okay. But wow. I just assumed you 2 got all the chicks," I admit stupidly as they both laugh at me.
"Oh, Z and I did alright," Marty adds as I growl at him.
"Enough, Marty. You've never met my crazily possessive, jealous as hell little wife here, and I'd much rather you didn't," Z finishes by kissing my lips gently. "Forever in the past, love. You are it for me," he whispers against my lips as I lean into his chest exhaling the quick thoughts of Z and other women.
Standing on my tiptoes I breathe against his ear, "You. Me. Sex-couch tonight. So be prepared, Z," and as he moans against me I turn for the counter toward all the food Marty keeps touching, testing, and moving back and forth to the ovens or stove top.
➰➰➰➰➰
During dinner, the atmosphere is so warm and wonderful, I catch myself smiling often and tearing up sometimes. I'm never sad though, and nothing bad surfaces. I feel such happiness in my new life with my new family, I enjoy my new everything. It's a happiness I’ve truly never known, and a happiness I would have never thought was out there waiting for me.
"I'm really happy," I mumble out loud as Z takes my hand quickly on the table and squeezes it. Looking at him, I smile my best smile and continue eating the best Thanksgiving dinner I've ever had in my life, surrounded by tales of the 3 men, Kayla tales from Chicago, and even a few New York Kayla tales of being a gangly 6 foot teenager which she hated.
And throughout I listen and laugh and smile. I don't have any stories of my own, and no one even tries to ask me. I mean, they all know my life wasn't something you discuss over a happy Thanksgiving meal, and that's okay. I take in their pasts and enjoy our present together.
"Come here, Love," Z growls as I exit the bathroom. Pausing for only one second, I've been waiting for him to love me all night. Christ, I was almost anxious to get dessert over with so everyone would get the hell out I wanted him so badly.
"Where do you want me, Mr. Zinfandel," I ask shyly, and I swear I saw his arousal climb just from my words alone.
"Sit on the couch, Suzanne," he growls again until I move. Stepping around him, I make sure to brush against his naked side before sitting demurely in the middle of our special little sex couch. "Take off your nightgown, Suzanne."
Watching his eyes darken as his eyelashes lower on his cheeks, I do as I'm told. Lifting my black nightie overhead, I don't even have time to toss it aside before Z is on his knees in front of me. Spreading my legs wide, he pushes between them with his hips taking my face in his hands for a deep kiss.
"I love you, Suzanne. And I had a wonderful time today. You pulled off the best Thanksgiving dinner I've ever been to, and you made everyone love you a little more with your sweetness today."
"Thank you," I whisper against his lips wrapping my arms around his shoulders to pull him closer to me.
Desperately, I move against his body trying to get more of him. I need him so badly, and I want to feel him inside me so deeply I beg, 'please' before I can stop myself.
"Please, what?" He teases like a little shit, and I want to growl at him.
"Please, please me," I squeak feeling embarrassed but not really caring either.
Pulling away from my face, resting on his heels with his hands on my spread thighs, Z asks softly, "Don't I always, love?"
Exhaling with a little shiver at his dark, delicious voice I sigh, "Yes," as he looks down at my naked body. Wanting to quickly close my legs, I fight the urge and I'm rewarded by Z slowly moving his hands further up my thighs to lightly touch me. Staring at my eyes, Z touches me until I seem to move into his touch.
When Z's thumbs open my body to his sight I moan before he does. Wanting so much and nearly begging for more, Z smiles at me before entering me slowly with a finger.
"Oh, please..." I whine as my left leg starts shaking on the floor.
"Lift your feet on the couch Suzanne, and lean back," he breathes as I moan again.
Lifting my feet, I know what he sees. I know he sees everything, and still he stares like my body is beautiful to him. He stares at my opened body and the look he holds releases me once again from the horrors of my past.
Moving closer, Z bends until touching me with his tongue we both gasp together at the sensation. Feeling his mouth and fingers inside me, while feeling the tense buildup to all I've ever wanted with Z, I wait out my release. Crying and groaning with the pleasure, Z keeps me on the edge until my begging sounds more like a chant in our room.
Forever it seems I move and cry out to Z's mouth taking me. Pushing against him, pulling him deeper inside me, I'm almost there when he suddenly pulls away to enter me slowly with his body leaning over me for a kiss as I suddenly release.
Grunting and moving awkwardly against him, Z holds my hips in place as he continues his slow impalement through the shudders wracking my body. Kissing the breath from my lungs, he speeds up his movements as my own slow down until we match rhythms. Slow and securely we move against each other as I open my eyes to his dark eyes watching me always.
"I love you," I groan as he kisses me again, and then I have no more words.
Lifting my right thigh around his back, Z continues to enter me deeper as I speed up our rhythm with my own. I need to feel him inside me, and I need to feel his release.
I want all of Z tonight. I want everything he can give me deep inside me to keep me surrounded and protected by his love.
"Come inside me, Z," I whisper as he speeds up his movements again. Pushing the back of my thighs up against my chest with his hands, Z thrusts into me everything I know of his love. He is here and I am free, and there's nothing between us anymore.
There is only us in our room and in our marriage now. There is nothing but this love between us.
"Are you ready, love?" Z groans as he thrusts into me harder and deeper.
"Always," I smile as I push faster against his movement.
This is where we go together. Z touches me and I know the build and the climb, and the end to all I've ever wanted. I know the plans and the future, and I know the life and love we're going to share together.
We are US... and I love us.
"Look. At. Me," he grunts with each thrust. And just as my eyes focus on him, the wave washes over me into Z as he returns the tide back into my body. We are free floating and I never want to resurface. I am floating in a sea of Z and I never want to reach the surface without him.
Leaning his forehead against mine as we both breathe our recovery, I wrap my weak arms around him and pull him down to my chest.
"Just stay with me like this," I beg as Z exhales on me.
"This is where I'll always be, Suzanne," he whispers.
Holding him tighter to my chest, I return the only words I have left for Z. "I believe you."
And that's all there is between us in this moment. Z's words and my acceptance of his life and love in my arms, always.
CHAPTER 23
"Suzanne..." Kayla cries when I open the door. "I'm sorry, but-" running for the bathroom, I just catch the tray she was handing me before Mack starts to follow.
"Here," I push the tray back at him. "Let me," I squeeze his arm as he huffs a nod.
Following closely behind Kayla she just makes the toilet in my master bath before throwing up. Again. For like the 10 thousandth time in the last 4 months. Trying desperately to hold in my own gag, I realize once again I could never be a nurse.
God, everything bodily grosses me right out, and I have NO idea how doctors and nurses handle sickness all the time.
"What can I do, Kayla?" I ask gently behind her as she stretches right out beside my toilet.
"Nothing," she cries which breaks my heart. Grabbing a facecloth to wet with cool water, I drop down beside her and take her into my arms for a hug.
"Um, you look lovely," I try for anything.
"Seriously? I'm still Barfy McWhatthefuck? And I'm dying here. Plus, it's official. I have hyperemesis gravidarum, or severe morning sickness in layman’s terms which means I have t
o take medication and be monitored closely because I'm so dehydrated from this little bastard."
"It's not actually a bastard, Kayla, considering you were married when you got knocked up," I grin as she laughs then lifts quickly for the toilet again.
Bracing myself behind her, I rub her back and fight my own gags with each horrible wrenching sound she makes. God, her pregnancy is ugly. "Thank god I was in a coma for the early stages of mine," I say out loud before realizing it and that's it. Kayla calls me a lucky bitch and starts gag-laughing into the echo of my toilet bowl.
"What can I do?" Mack asks behind us and as we turn, Kayla's eyes fill with tears. "Please, Kayla? Let me take you home," Mack begs but she shakes her head no.
"Do you want to lie down on my bed for a few minutes? It's nothing. No one’s even here yet. And who gives a shit anyway?"
"You don't mind?" She asks with the saddest voice ever, and I actually laugh a little.
"Are you kidding me? After all you've done for me, you really think lying on my bed is a big deal? Pu-lease..." I say in her tragic accent and as she smiles we both start to slowly move to stand up. Leaning into me, Kayla uses Mack's outstretched hand and my side for support.
Turning to the mirror, she sees her pale, make-up smeared face but before the upset can hit her, I flip up my hair from my scars, and whisper, “I still beat you,” as she smiles sadly with a nod before scrubbing her face and hands in the sink.
Collapsing on my bed, Mack crawls in beside her and takes her into his arms so gently, I flip a throw blanket over them and stand captivated by their love.
When I hear Kayla whisper she's sorry for ruining dinner to Mack his voice is calm and beautiful when he shushes her before whispering, “Never be sorry for carrying my baby inside you as best as you can.”
Nearly crying, they are so sweet together, and that was such a private moment between them, I will never forget seeing their love as long as I live. So walking away and quietly closing the door, I leave them to their struggle together.
"Is she really bad?" Kayla asks as I nod and try to blink away my tears.
"She's pretty sick but Mack's with her, so we'll see if they join us later or not. She may just need to rest a little."
"Okay. Merry almost Christmas, Suzanne. You look gorgeous. And dinner smells amazing and I'm starving," she smiles with a dirty grin and I know immediately why she's starving. Marty.
"Where is your stud anyway?"
"At the restaurant. He promised he wouldn't be long, but most of his staff took Christmas Eve off, and surprisingly there were more customers than he thought or planned for. He said we could start without him though and he'd get here as soon as he could."
"Sounds good. What do you want to drink?"
"Anything. Where's Z?"
"The kitchen I think," I turn surprised myself Z isn't entertaining Kayla.
"He's not actually. I started for the kitchen first," she grins pointing to a plate with some roast beef on it.
"You ate some roast?" I laugh shocked as I start pouring her a drink.
"I told you I was hungry."
Calling Z ten minutes later, I can't understand where he would possibly go. Everything is ready, except for our guests at this point, Kayla just keeps helping herself to dinner, and Mack and Kayla are still in my bedroom.
"Hi, love. I'll be back in 10 minutes."
"But where did you go?"
"Christmas..." He says with his smile-voice. Oh.
"Can I have a hint?"
"Not a chance. I'll see you in 10 minutes. How is everyone?"
"Well, the MacDonald's are still hiding in our room, Marty hasn't arrived yet, and Kayla's stuffing her face with dinner," I grin as she flips me off.
"Huh. Sorry I snuck out but it'll be worth it, I promise. Love you," he says sounding excited which naturally excites me more. I'm dying to know what made him leave, and I'm almost bouncing with the need to know what his surprise for me is.
"What's he up to?" Kayla asks walking back to my kitchen for more food.
Following her, I laugh when she just jumps up on the counter beside the warming grills. "I have no idea, but he's excited, so I think it's gonna be good," I giggle. "Christ Kayla, stop picking and just make a plate already. Dinner is kind of off anyway so you may as well fill a plate for yourself."
"Join me?" She begs already hopping off the counter to make a full plate.
"Sure, but can we at least sit at my dining room table? Did you see how beautiful it is? I spent hours decorating the table to match the world’s best Christmas tree, outside Rockefeller, of course," I laugh as she does.
Sitting down at my table, Kayla switches out the name tags so we can sit beside each other but I don't really care anymore. The formality of my Christmas Eve dinner is off anyway, and at this point I'm so hungry I wish I could just throw on my yoga pants and dig in.
"Can I have my present?" She asks with a mouthful of potatoes.
"Sure." Already running for my tree I practically throw myself under it towards the back. Sliding out her 2 beautifully wrapped boxes I dance back to her laughing at my excitement.
"Yay! I love presents." Ignoring the bows and perfect wrapping completely she tears them open quickly. Ugh... If she only knew how long I spent making her gifts look perfect.
Opening the smallest box, she smiles when she sees the jewelry box until she opens it and honest to god, gasps. Yay! Pulling out the necklace, I lift my own from my chest so she understands what I had made.
"Oh, Suzanne..."
"So the middle black diamond circle is me, and you are the diamond circle on the side, and I made one for Kayla, as well. Um, the 3 circles are linked together, like my darkness and both of your light, or like me in the middle in my black," I smirk, "And you two in your white around me, or something like that," I fade out feeling a little embarrassed.
Lifting her hair quickly, she practically yells at me to put it on her, which I do jumping from my chair. Once on, Kayla pulls away and grabs me in a hug so tight, I can't breathe, and I don't want to. This is the best kind of suffocation, I giggle.
"Suze... This is the most beautiful, thoughtful, best present I've ever received. It's just awesome. Thank you," she says choking up which makes me choke up until we both just laugh at each other. "You made one for Kayla?"
"Yes. Um, you two are very special to me," I mumble as she takes my hand for a little squeeze.
"Right back atcha. Holy shit! I love getting diamonds," she yells making me laugh.
Turning when we hear Z walking in, he shakes his head at me. "You couldn't wait?" He smiles knowing I've been dying to give my Kaylas their gifts for the last 2 days.
"She begged me," I defend myself lamely as she nods.
"Hey handsome. Merry Christmas," Kayla jumps up as Z joins us. "Isn't it beautiful?" Kayla asks lifting her necklace up to Z.
"It is. I couldn't have designed it better myself," he laughs like an arrogant bastard. When I told him what I wanted to do 2 weeks ago, he pulled out the Mr. Zinfandel card at the Jewelers to make sure the 3 necklaces would be finished before Christmas for me.
"Where were you?" She asks with a glare.
"Out. How was dinner?" He pushes her back.
"Good. But it isn't half as good as Thanksgiving was," she laughs returning to the table.
"Well, if people stopped messing with my wife's dinner plans, it would've been perfect, I'm sure," he leans down to kiss my head. "Are you going to open the other gift?" Z smirks at me as I swat his ass for teasing me still.
Smiling, Kayla quickly rips open the second box to find the scarf and mittens I knit her. Hot pink and black, and exactly what she would love, she holds them up and actually sticks her finger through the ONE hole at the side of the scarf that couldn't be helped. Bursting out laughing, I shrug at my almost perfect scarf for her.
"Much better, Suzanne," she grins wrapping the scarf around her neck, but making sure the necklace isn't hidden. "Thank you so much for everything."
/> "You're welcome," I kiss her head rising to pull Z into the kitchen by his hand.
Once inside, I push Z against the counter, stand on my tiptoes, and growl, "Spill, Mr. Zinfandel."
"Can we wait?" He kisses my lips quickly.
"Do we have to?" I counter kissing his lips just as quickly.
Smiling against my mouth, Z nods. "It would be better if we did, just for a little while so you don't have to explain yet," he says so cryptically, I'm dying to know what the hell he’s talking about.
"Argh... Fine. Do you want dinner now? There's really no point waiting for Marty."
"Please," he agrees already reaching around me for a plate. "You?"
"I'm full. Kayla made me eat with her. Everything?"
"Yes, please."
Walking out of our kitchen just minutes later, Kayla is lounging on the couch, whining about over-eating as I laugh at her and sit beside Z. Smiling at her, Z digs in with a moan which I love.
"Don't moan like that," I whisper as he grins his dirty sexy grin.
"Why? You don't like it when I moan?"
Blushing, I actually play along. "I love it when you moan, but this isn't the time or place for those kind of moans, Z." Waiting for his dirty reply, I continue. "Do you have any idea how dark and delicious you are?"
"Dark and delicious?"
"Yes. You're very dark, and everything about you is delicious," I whisper looking down at his pants like a dirty girl suddenly.
Leaning into me, Z asks, "Would you like to see how dark and delicious I can be against the bathroom counter for a quickie, Suzanne?" And as I gasp, he takes the opportunity to kiss me hard, wiping the shock off my face with another moan.
"Gross. At the table?" Kayla asks holding Mack's hand as they walk toward us.