Dark eyes searched her face for signs of fatigue or pain, but he must have been satisfied with what he saw for he nodded slowly and said, “Will you walk with me?”
“Certainly.”
They were quiet until some distance outside the walls, and then Megan said softly, “I am sorry about the byre, Bracken. ’Twas never my intent to deceive you.”
“I realize that, Megan. I completely overreacted.”
“So, you’re not angry?”
“No. I did think it would be best to leave it where it was, but I can see now that our first location is a fine one.”
Megan was so relieved that for a time she fell silent. “When do you go again?”
“Go again?”
Megan looked at him. “Yes. I was under the impression that you would only be home for a short time.”
Bracken shook his head. “I know of no such plan. I will be here.” Megan nodded.
“Does that disappoint you?” Bracken tried to hide his dread of her answer.
“Oh, no, Bracken.” Her eyes were wide. “I missed you.”
“I missed you also.”
Again they fell silent. To be parted from a new spouse for weeks was no easy thing, but to return as they had, under such stress and strife, was very difficult indeed.
“I’m sorry about your sister.”
“Thank you, Bracken. I fear she will never change.”
“She is a vile woman.”
Megan had no choice but to agree.
“I am glad you are nothing like her.”
“She told me that you asked her to come to your room.”
Bracken turned and gripped her shoulders. “Did you believe her?”
“No,” Megan said softly. “She has always been full of lies, and I know you would not do such a thing.”
Bracken nodded and dropped his hands. Her words relieved him greatly.
“Was it difficult, your being away?” Megan asked.
Bracken began to share, his voice a bit quiet because he just realized how little they had talked, but he did tell Megan where he had been and the way they had lived. Bracken told how he had managed to visit his mother. He’d even seen Danella and her family for the first time in more than a year. Megan listened in silence to every detail.
“I met a man,” Bracken finished by saying. “His name is Trygve Osborn, Marquess of Overton. We worked and lived together all the time I was away, and I have come to greatly admire him. We spoke much of our families, and he said I was not treating you well.”
They had seated themselves under a tree now, and Megan’s eyes rounded. “But, Bracken, I do not know such a man.”
“I know, but he says he does not need to know you to know that I have treated you poorly.” Bracken hoped she would understand his meaning from these few words, but her look was as innocent as a child’s.
Bracken cleared his throat. “He and his wife, Ann, have been married for over ten years, but he also said that for months after the vows were spoken Ann would freeze at his touch.”
Bracken watched Megan’s eyes drop and her face flame. He opened his mouth to tell her he would try to be more understanding in the future, but she rushed in.
“I’m sorry, Bracken. Before we were married, I just didn’t know anything about the ways between a husband and wife, and oft times I am still not sure.”
Bracken’s pledge was momentarily forgotten. He stared at her bent head.
“Megan, what do you mean, you didn’t know anything?”
“I just didn’t. I think most girls talk to their mothers, but I was not with my mother, and the nuns never taught us. I am sorry I did not know and that I am still so ignorant.”
Bracken felt pain wash over him. She had been so innocent.
In truth, he was no more experienced than she, but he had had some idea of what marriage would bring.
“Oh, Megan,” Bracken said and reached for her hand. He felt her stiffen and watched as her eyes flew to his. He knew in that instant he was going to have to show and not tell her that he was ready to change. He could give her a promise right then, but without proof of his actions, she would never believe.
Bracken continued to hold her small hand as they talked, but Megan never did relax. Still, Bracken ignored her tension and kept his touch very light and tender. He wasn’t a man given to praying, but this was enough to make him want to drop to his knees and beg God to help him show Megan what was in his heart.
Thirty-Three
BRACKEN WAS BEGINNING TO FEEL like a spy. Since he had talked with Megan more than two weeks ago, he had worked at understanding women in general in order to gain a clearer picture of his wife. He had never studied the creatures before, and he was finding them fascinating. His greatest discovery was that they were so emotional. Bracken was a man of deep emotions, but he did not, as a rule, allow them to control him.
A few days past he’d watched a servant in the keep scolding a female underling concerning her shoddy work. What the servant said was true, but Bracken watched in amazement as great tears filled the young woman’s eyes and she went back to her task sniffing and blowing.
Bracken could only shake his head. It caused him to think about his own sisters and how remarkably different their interests had been from his own as they were growing up. Some of it had to do with age, but most of it was because of their gender. Bracken found himself asking why God hadn’t created women to be a little more like men.
It was at the moment that Megan sought him out, and Bracken found himself very thankful that they were so different. She had a question for Bracken, but he was so preoccupied with the woman herself that he could barely answer. Even without touching her, he knew her skin was like warm satin. The green velvet of her dress made her eyes the color of the forest on a spring day. Her sweetness and the very sound of her voice were like a web around him. He had managed to reply, but Megan had stared at him rather strangely.
Even though he desired to do so, Bracken had still not begun to show Megan his affection during the course of the day when she needed it most. Still, he was learning plenty. Fortunately, for Bracken, spring was around the corner, and love was in the air. It was affecting the whole castle.
Right now he was watching Stafford and Pen. The two had been married for six months, and Pen still eagerly ran to embrace the young warrior every time she saw him.
He witnessed as Stafford placed an arm around Pen’s waist and with his free hand tenderly stroked her cheek. Even from a distance he could see her eyes soften before she placed a hand on the back of Stafford’s neck and brought his lips down to hers. They kissed briefly, and when Pen turned away, Stafford gave her a playful smack on the seat. From where Bracken stood he could hear the girl’s laugh. Bracken then turned to find Lyndon watching him as he studied Stafford.
“What is it, Lyndon?” Bracken’s voice was curt, but Lyndon couldn’t stop his smile.
“Bracken, what are you about?” he asked good-naturedly.
The duke hesitated. Lyndon had recently become betrothed; maybe he could help. He also knew Lyndon would never gossip the matter over the entire keep.
“What do you do to make Gabriella know that you love her?” Lyndon, seeing his sincerity thought a moment.
“Sometimes I take her flowers from the meadow.”
Bracken snapped his fingers together. “That’s it! Tryg said something about flowers. I’ll do it!”
Bracken walked away then, looking more like a boy in love than a seasoned knight. Had he looked back, he would not have found Lyndon laughing, but instead would have seen that his friend’s eyes were filled with fondness and admiration.
Megan was in the kitchen working over some of her herbs when Bracken found her. She was measuring, pouring, and working so intently that it was a moment before she noticed him.
“Oh, Bracken,” Megan smiled. “I didn’t see you.”
“These are for you.”
Megan stared at the bundle of purple flowers in his hands. Some we
re a bit smashed and the stems on others were broken, but they were pretty nonetheless.
“Thank you, Bracken.” Megan’s voice spoke of her confusion. “I don’t recognize what herb they are. Were they for something special?”
“Nay,” he shook his head. “Just for you. For your bedchamber or salon.”
Megan looked at the flowers and then back at her husband, her brow still knit with bewilderment.
“Bracken,” Megan began. “I still do not—”
He cut her off. “I was only thinking of you and wished for you to know it.”
Bracken watched as understanding dawned. The transformation was amazing.
“These are for me?” Megan’s eyes began to glow. “You gathered these for me?”
Bracken cleared his throat, now wishing they were alone.
“Oh, Bracken,” was all Megan could say as she smiled up at him with shining eyes. “They are splendid flowers. Indeed, they are most wondrous. I’ll go right now and put them in water.” Megan turned away but came right back.
“Your brows are mussed,” she explained seriously as her soft fingers smoothed over his brow. As she turned away, Bracken pulled the wimple from her hair. He did this often, and normally Megan would have complained, but so taken was she with the flowers she didn’t even turn. All those in the kitchen who had witnessed the scene smiled as Bracken then made his way outside, a huge grin parting his beard.
By evening, the flowers seemed to be the talk of the entire castle. Megan heard little whispers here and there, but it was some time before she understood it was the flowers from Bracken about which they were speaking.
“You should’ve seen ’im agrinnin’ after ’e ’anded ’em to ’er,” Megan heard a woman say who was setting up for the evening meal. “It’s spring all right. I tells ya, ’e’s in love.”
Megan did not let on that she’d heard—it was all too fascinating to stop. The other women all agreed and Megan listened for a few minutes more before moving on in great thought.
Bracken was acting oddly but Megan didn’t really think that spring was involved. In fact, when Megan stopped to think on it, Bracken was coming for her less and less. With the thought came regret that she’d shared her true feelings with Bracken a few weeks back. She must have said something to make him think he was upsetting her.
In truth, the physical side of marriage was not something Megan enjoyed, but that was life; some things were pleasure and some were duty. Megan wasn’t certain, but it seemed to her that only women of loose morals found pleasure in such union. However, Evadne’s words at Windsor Castle still came to mind:
“Do not settle for endurance. ’Tis something to be enjoyed.”
Megan resolved to talk with Bracken. She never wanted him to think she was angry with him, and she did so want a child. The thought of bringing this up to Bracken caused her face to heat on the spot, but she knew it must be done. Megan could have used some time to calm herself, but Bracken suddenly appeared at her side. She watched his mouth open and shut as he changed his mind about whatever he was going to say. Megan stood quietly as he then took in her pink face.
“You’re blushing.”
Megan shrugged uncomfortably. “’Tis nothing.”
Bracken looked unconvinced, and Megan cleared her throat.
“May I speak with you after the meal, Bracken?”
“Certainly.” He watched her a moment. “Are you sure you don’t wish to speak now?”
“It can wait.”
“All right. In my chamber then?”
Megan shook her head. “You do not want us to quarrel there.”
Bracken’s brows winged upward. “You’re planning an argument?”
Megan looked helpless and finally admitted, “In truth, Bracken, I am not sure.”
Bracken weighed her words a moment before nodding and wisely let the subject drop. She was becoming quite anxious, and he needed to show her that he was more than willing to abide by her wishes.
The meal was plentiful that night and enjoyed by all, but both duke and duchess were preoccupied; Megan, with regret for setting up an audience with her husband, and Bracken, with speculation as to what she might say. Indeed, he didn’t intend to wait long. As soon as Megan was through, he asked her to join him in the war room.
Megan agreed readily enough, but it took a moment for her to get started. She paced the room some and then started to sit on a chair. Bracken motioned to her, however, bidding her to join him on the long settee. Megan did so, but she was clearly not relaxed. In fact, when she began to speak, it was with her eyes on a distant spot across the room.
“Have I angered you, Bracken?”
“No,” he answered as he studied her profile. “Do I seem angry?”
“Not exactly,” Megan said softly. “Just different.”
Bracken had hoped she would notice, but it was supposed to bring pleasure, not confusion.
“This is a problem?”
Megan knew then that she was not explaining herself well. She made herself shift so that she could face Bracken and look into his eyes.
“Since we talked outside the walls, Bracken, you do not touch me as much.”
Bracken leaned forward so his face was on her level. He whispered, “You could touch me.”
Megan looked horrified and would have moved from the settee, but Bracken gently captured her hands.
“Nay, Bracken, I could not!” Megan’s voice was breathless as she pulled to free her hands. “ ’Twould be a sin.”
Bracken’s smile was very tender, but he did not release her. “Oh, my little Megan, no, ’tis not a sin. My mother is a woman of God, like yourself, and I know she delighted in my father’s touch.”
“But, Bracken,” Megan knew she might hurt him, but it had to be said, “with her commitment to Christ, she is different now. I do not think she would feel the same way.”
Bracken only smiled. “I know all about my mother’s belief, Megan, but it was her who told me to court you.”
“Court me?”
“Yes. She said to woo my wife gently. I did not fully understand her at the time, but now I see that this way you will know what is in my heart, and our union will bring happiness to you.”
Megan was more confused than ever. She so admired Joyce and would have loved to talk with her. Could Bracken really be right? Is this what God had for her? Megan felt something stir within her. Bracken had been unspeakably tender with her in the last two weeks, and it seemed she cared for him more every day.
Megan was still thinking on all of this when Bracken pulled her close. Megan held herself still as he put his arm around her, but there was nothing to fear. Bracken began a gentle dialogue, meant to soothe and make Megan feel cherished.
“I’m planning a tourney.”
“You are?” Megan’s voice was slightly breathless with her anxiety.
“Um-hmm. Next month. In honor of my wife’s eighteenth birthday.”
Megan turned her head to look up into his face, her apprehension forgotten. He was serious!
“Bracken, why did you not tell me?”
“I just did. All of my family is coming; yours, too, I hope.”
“Oh, Bracken,” Megan’s joy was so complete that she laid a hand spontaneously on his chest. “You are too good to me.”
“You are my wife, Megan,” he replied, staring down lovingly into her eyes. “How else am I to treat you?”
Megan could only smile in absolute serenity. After kissing her gently, Bracken pressed her head onto his chest. Megan was uncomfortable at first, but soon the beat of Bracken’s heart came to her ear. Suddenly she was back atop his horse, Warrior, safe in his arms as they returned from the Stone Lake abbey. It wasn’t long before she had relaxed completely. They talked for another hour, and when they finally rose to take the stairs, both were bathed in tenderness and contentment.
Thirty-Four
BRACKEN’S TREATMENT OF MEGAN over the next week was unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
Something wonderful was happening between them, and Megan had never known such joy or peace.
“Come to me, Megan,” Bracken had bid one night early that week. The day had been long and Megan was tired, but she complied. When she had joined him, however, he had simply put his arms around her and pulled her close. After a moment, Megan had said, “Bracken, are you angry with me?”
“No.”
Still he did not move beyond settling her a little more securely beside him.
“Are you certain?”
“Yes, I’m certain. Go to sleep, Megan.”
“In here?”
“Yes, Megan,” Bracken had answered, and she did not miss the laughter in his voice. It had done nothing to help her relax, but she tried to do as she was told. It had been a busy day, and after a moment Bracken’s heartbeat came to her ear. Megan sighed hugely when she heard that sound, and although Bracken had never let on, he felt her relax against him. Within ten minutes she had gone to sleep.
Bracken then relaxed as well and thought about his relationship with his wife.
At one time all I did was take from Megan. I never knew how remarkable it would be to give to my wife.
On this contented thought, Bracken had joined Megan in sleep until morning.
Now some four weeks later, things were still going well. Megan’s birthday was upon them, and she had the entire castle cleaned and ready for their expected guests. Bracken’s family had sent word of their arrival, and the day had finally arrived. Megan was so excited that she could hardly remain still.
“By the time they arrive, you’re going to be dead on your feet,” Bracken warned her, pulling her close for an instant. Warmly accepting Bracken’s embrace, Megan only smiled, smoothed his eyebrows, and sailed on her way.