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  "You know Im right," he said.

  "I know youve always opposed capital punishment. "

  "Absolutely," he said. "Unequivocally. "

  "Thats not how you sound this morning. "

  "I think its regrettable that a man like Severance could ever be released from prison. That doesnt mean I think the state should go into the business of official murder. "

  "I didnt think we were talking about the state. "

  "Oh?"

  "You want to apprehend him without involving the media or the police. I get the feeling youd like to see sentence passed and carried out in much the same manner. "

  "In other words?"

  "You want me to find him and kill him for you," I said. "I wont do it. "

  "I wouldnt ask you to. "

  "I dont want to find him so you can kill him yourself, either. How would you do it? Draw straws to see who pulls the duty? Or string him up and have everybody pull on the rope?"

  "What would you do?"

  "Me?"

  "In our position. "

  "I was in your position once," I said. "There was a man named… well, never mind what his name was. The point is that he had sworn to kill me. Hed already killed a lot of other people. I dont know if I could have got him sent to prison, but I know they wouldnt have kept him there forever. Sooner or later theyd have had to let him out. "

  "What did you do?"

  "I did what I had to do. "

  "You killed him?"

  "I did what I had to do. "

  "Do you regret it?"

  "No. "

  "Do you feel guilty?"

  "No. "

  "Would you do it again?"

  "I suppose I would," I said. "If I had to. "

  "So would I," he said, "if I had to. But thats not what I have in mind. I dont really believe in capital punishment whether its the state or an individual who imposes the sentence. "

  "Im lost," I said. "Youll have to explain. "

  "I intend to. " He drank some coffee. "Ive given this some thought," he said, "and Ive talked to several of the others. How does this sound to you?"

  I heard him out. I had a lot of questions and raised a lot of objections, but he had prepared well. I had no choice but to give him the verdict he wanted.

  "It sounds crazy," I said at length, "and the cost-"

  "Thats not a problem. "

  "Well, I dont have any moral objection to it," I said. "And it might work. "

  30

  The first week in August I got a call around one in the afternoon. Joe Durkin said, "Matt, Id like to talk to you. Why dont you come around the station house?"

  "Id be happy to," I said. "What would be a good time?"

  "Now would be a good time," he said.

  I went straight over there, stopping en route for a couple of containers of coffee. I gave one to Joe and he lifted the lid and sniffed the steam. "Thisll spoil me," he said. "Ive been getting used to squadroom coffee. Whats this, French roast?"

  "I dont know. "

  "It smells great, whatever it is. "

  He set it down, opened a drawer, took out one of the palm cards that had been circulating around town for a couple of weeks. It was on postcard stock and about the size of a standard postcard. One side was blank. The other showed James Severance as sketched by Ray Galindez. Beneath the sketch was a seven-digit telephone number.

  "Whats this?" he said, and flipped it across the desk to me.

  "Looks like a postcard," I said. I turned it over. "Blank on the back. I guess you would write your message here and put the address over here on the right. The stamp would go in the corner. "

  "Thats your phone number under the picture. "

  "So it is," I said. "But if the pictures supposed to be me, Id have to say its a lousy likeness. "

  He reached to take the card from me, looked at me, looked at it, looked at me again. "Somehow," he said, "I dont think its you. "

  "Neither do I. "

  "Whoever it is," he said, "I got a snitch tells me the guys pictures all over the street. Nobody knows who he is or why somebodys looking for him. So I figured Id call the number and ask. "

  "And?"

  "And Im asking. "

  "Well," I said, "its in connection with a case Im working on. "

  "No kidding. "

  "And the subject of the sketch might be an important witness. "

  "Witness to what?"

  "I cant say. "

  "What did you do, take holy orders? Youre bound by the seal of the confessional?"

  "I was hired by an attorney," I said, "and what was told to me comes under the umbrella of attorney-client privilege. "

  "Who hired you?"

  "Raymond Gruliow. "

  "Raymond Gruliow. "

  "Thats right. "

  "Hard-Way Ray. "

  "Ive heard him called that, come to think of it. "

  He took another look at the sketch. "Guy looks familiar," he said.

  "Thats what everybody says. "

  "Whats his name? That cant be confidential. "

  "If we knew his name," I said, "hed be a lot easier to find. "

  "A witness saw him and sat down with an artist, and thats where the sketch came from. "

  "Something like that. "

  "I understand theres a reward. "

  I looked at the palm card. "Funny," I said. "It doesnt say anything here about a reward. "

  "I heard ten grand. "

  "Thats a lot of money. "

  "It seems like a lot to me," he said, "when I think of what Ive done for the price of a hat. Whats funny is you never brought the sketch around here. "

  "I didnt think youd recognize him. You dont, do you?"

  "No. "

  "So there wouldnt have been much point in showing you the sketch. "

  He gave me a long look. He said, "When theres that much of a reward for somebody, its generally somebody who doesnt want to be found. "

  "Oh, I dont know," I said. "What about that little boy who disappeared in SoHo? There were reward posters all over the place. "

  "Thats a point. There arent any posters with this fellow, are there?"

  "I havent seen any. "

  "Just cards you can tuck away out of sight. Nothing on the lampposts or mailboxes, nothing tacked up on bulletin boards. Just a lot of cards circulating quietly around the neighborhoods. "

  "Its a low-budget operation, Joe. "

  "With a five-figure reward. "

  "If you say so," I said, "but I still dont see anything here about a reward. "

  "No, neither do I. This is good coffee. "

  "Im glad you like it. "

  "Last time we talked," he said, "you were looking into all these old cases. That painter and his wife, that gay guy who got more than he bargained for, that cabbie who picked up the wrong fare. Remember?"

  "As if it were yesterday. "

  "Ill bet. This guy here tied in with them?"

  "How could he be?"

  "Why do you always answer a question with a question?"

  "Do I have to have a reason?"

  "Fucking smartass. Whats the status of those old cases, anyway?"

  "As far as I can tell," I said, "theyre all still dead. "

  * * *

  The waiting was hard to take.

  We got the word out on the street a good ten days before I heard from Joe Durkin. I started with a few people like Danny Boy Bell who are professionally adept at spreading and gathering information, and I gave each of them a sheaf of palm cards bearing Severances likeness and my phone number. TJ went to work on Forty-second Street, spreading the word among the people he knew on and around the Deuce and working the cheap hotels and SRO rooming houses in the neighborhood. Gruliow made a few phone calls and sent me off to see various criminals and political outcasts hed defended over the years. Of one he said, "This one hugged me after the trial and said to call him if I ever wanted somebody killed. Ive been tempted a few tim
es, believe me. Its a good thing I dont believe in capital punishment, not even for ex-wives. "

  I was pretty sure hed go to ground in Manhattan. If hed ever lived outside the borough, I didnt know about it. In all the months hed stalked Alan Watson, patrolling his streets in a Queensboro-Corona uniform, even (if he was telling the truth) having an affair with Watsons wife, hed chosen to live in Manhattan. He could have found a cheaper and more comfortable room a few blocks from the Q-C offices, or within easy walking distance of Watsons Forest Hills home. But hed moved instead to East Ninety-fourth Street. Hed have had to take two trains to get to work, and two more to get home.

  So I centered the manhunt in Manhattan, and I put the most energy into those parts of town where someone like Severance wouldnt stick out like a white thumb. I hit the places that called themselves hotels or rooming houses, and I went to lunch counters and drugstores and asked if they knew where I could find a room for rent, because every neighborhood has some SRO hotels that dont hang out a sign.

  And we left palm cards in delis and bodegas, too, and in shoeshine parlors and ginmills and numbers drops. And then it was time to sit back and wait, time to be home in case the phone rang, and thats when it got difficult.

  Because its easier when youre doing something. Sitting in my room at the Northwestern, watching a ball game or a newscast, reading a book or a newspaper, staring out the window, I couldnt avoid the thought that it was all misplaced effort, all a waste of time.

  He didnt have to be in Manhattan. He could be lying on a beach in California, biding his time, waiting for the New York heat to die down. He could be in Jersey or Connecticut, stalking one of the clubs suburban members. While I sat here, waiting for the phone to ring, hed be sighting his target and making his kill.

  The day after I spoke to Durkin, I picked up the phone and called Lisa Holtzmann.

  I didnt even think about it. I had the phone in my hand and was dialing her number without having made any conscious decision. The phone rang four times and her machine picked up. I rang off without leaving a message.

  The following afternoon I called her. "I was thinking of you," I told her, but I dont even know if that was true. She told me to come over, and I went.

  Two days later I went to the 8:30 meeting at St. Pauls. I left on the break and called her from a pay phone on the corner. No, she said, she wasnt busy. Yes, she felt like company.

  In her bed that night, she lay beside me and told me that she was still seeing the art director for the airline magazine. "Ive been to bed with him," she said.

  "Hes a lucky man. "

  "I dont know why I bother planning conversations in my head. You never say what I expect you to say. Do you really think hes a lucky man? Because I dont. "

  "Why not?"

  "Because Im such a whore. I saw him the night before last. You came over during the afternoon, and then I went out to dinner with him that night. And brought him home and fucked him. I was still sore from the afternoon but I went ahead and fucked him anyway. "