'Smother the old witch!' } Hedzoff, the ardent Smith, and
'Pitch her into the river!'} the faithful Jones.
But Gruffanuff flung her arms round the Archbishop's neck, and
bellowed out, 'Justice, justice, my Lord Chancellor!' so
loudly, that her piercing shrieks caused everybody to pause.
As for Rosalba, she was borne away lifeless by her ladies; and
you may imagine the look of agony which Giglio cast towards
that lovely being, as his hope, his joy, his darling, his all
in all, was thus removed, and in her place the horrid old
Gruffanuff rushed up to his side, and once more shrieked out,
'Justice, justice!'
'Won't you take that sum of money which Glumboso hid?' says
Giglio; 'two hundred and eighteen thousand millions, or
thereabouts. It's a handsome sum.'
'I will have that and you too!' says Gruffanuff.
'Let us throw the crown jewels into the bargain,' gasps out
Giglio.
'I will wear them by my Giglio's side!' says Gruffanuff.
'Will half, three-quarters, five-sixths, nineteen-twentieths,
of my kingdom do, Countess?' asks the trembling monarch.
'What were all Europe to me without YOU, my Giglio?' cries
Gruff, kissing his hand.
'I won't, I can't, I shan't,--I'll resign the crown first,'
shouts Giglio, tearing away his hand; but Gruff clung to it.
'I have a competency, my love,' she says, 'and with thee and a
cottage thy Barbara will be happy.'
Giglio was half mad with rage by this time. 'I will not marry
her,' says he. 'Oh, Fairy, Fairy, give me counsel?' And as he
spoke he looked wildly round at the severe face of the Fairy
Blackstick.
"'Why is Fairy Blackstick always advising me, and warning me to
keep my word? Does she suppose that I am not a man of
honour?"' said the Fairy, quoting Giglio's own haughty words.
He quailed under the brightness of her eyes; he felt that there
was no escape for him from that awful inquisition.
'Well, Archbishop,' said he in a dreadful voice, that made his
Grace start, 'since this Fairy has led me to the height of
happiness but to dash me down into the depths of despair, since
I am to lose Rosalba, let me at least keep my honour. Get up,
Countess, and let us be married; I can keep my word, but I can
die afterwards.'
'Oh, dear Giglio,' cries Gruffanuff, skipping up, 'I knew, I
knew I could trust thee--I knew that my Prince was the soul of
honour. Jump into your carriages, ladies and gentlemen, and
let us go to church at once; and as for dying, dear Giglio, no,
no:--thou wilt forget that insignificant little chambermaid of
a Queen--thou wilt live to be consoled by thy Barbara! She
wishes to be a Queen, and not a Queen Dowager, my gracious
Lord!' And hanging upon poor Giglio's arm, and leering and
grinning in his face in the most disgusting manner, this old
wretch tripped off in her white satin shoes, and jumped into
the very carriage which had been got ready to convey Giglio and
Rosalba to church. The cannons roared again, the bells pealed
triple-bobmajors, the people came out flinging flowers upon the
path of the royal bride and bridegroom, and Gruff looked out of
the gilt coach window and bowed and grinned to them. Phoo! the
horrid old wretch!
XIX. AND NOW WE COME TO THE LAST SCENE IN THE PANTOMIME
The many ups and downs of her life had given the Princess
Rosalba prodigious strength of mind, and that highly principled
young woman presently recovered from her fainting-fit, out of
which Fairy Blackstick, by a precious essence which the Fairy
always carried in her pocket, awakened her. Instead of tearing
her hair, crying, and bemoaning herself, and fainting again, as
many young women would have done, Rosalba remembered that she
owed an example of firmness to her subjects; and though she
loved Giglio more than her life, was determined, as she told
the Fairy, not to interfere between him and justice, or to
cause him to break his royal word.
'I cannot marry him, but I shall love him always,' says she to
Blackstick; 'I will go and be present at his marriage with the
Countess, and sign the book, and wish them happy with all my
heart. I will see, when I get home, whether I cannot make the
new Queen some handsome presents. The Crim Tartary crown
diamonds are uncommonly fine, and I shall never have any use
for them. I will live and die unmarried like Queen Elizabeth,
and, of course, I shall leave my crown to Giglio when I quit
this world. Let us go and see them married, my dear Fairy, let
me say one last farewell to him; and then, if you please, I
will return to my own dominions.'
So the Fairy kissed Rosalba with peculiar tenderness, and at
once changed her wand into a very comfortable coach-and-four,
with a steady coachman, and two respectable footmen behind, and
the Fairy and Rosalba got into the coach, which Angelica and
Bulbo entered after them. As for honest Bulbo, he was
blubbering in the most pathetic manner, quite overcome by
Rosalba's misfortune. She was touched by the honest fellow's
sympathy, promised to restore to him the confiscated estates of
Duke Padella his father, and created him, as he sat there in
the coach, Prince, Highness, and First Grandee of the Crim
Tartar Empire. The coach moved on, and, being a fairy coach,
soon came up with the bridal procession.
Before the ceremony at church it was the custom in Paflagonia,
as it is in other countries, for the bride and bridegroom to
sign the Contract of Marriage, which was to be witnessed by
the Chancellor, Minister, Lord Mayor, and principal officers of
state. Now, as the royal palace was being painted and
furnished anew, it was not ready for the reception of the King
and his bride, who proposed at first to take up their residence
at the Prince's palace, that one which Valoroso occupied when
Angelica was born, and before he usurped the throne.
So the marriage party drove up to the palace: the dignitaries
got out of their carriages and stood aside: poor Rosalba
stepped out of her coach, supported by Bulbo, and stood almost
fainting up against the railings so as to have a last look of
her dear Giglio. As for Blackstick, she, according to her
custom, had flown out of the coach window in some inscrutable
manner, and was now standing at the palace door.
Giglio came up the steps with his horrible bride on his arm,
looking as pale as if he was going to execution. He only
frowned at the Fairy Blackstick--he was angry with her, and
thought she came to insult his misery.
'Get out of the way, pray,' says Gruffanuff haughtily. 'I
wonder why you are always poking your nose into other people's
affairs?'
'Are you determined to make this poor young man unhappy?' says
Blackstick.
'To marry him, yes! What business is it of yours? Pray,
madam, don't say "you" to a Queen,' cries Gruffanuff.
'You won't t
ake the money he offered you?'
'No.'
'You won't let him off his bargain, though you know you cheated
him when you made him sign the paper?'
'Impudence! Policemen, remove this woman!' cries Gruffanuff.
And the policemen were rushing forward, but with a wave of her
wand the Fairy struck them all like so many statues in their
places.
'You won't take anything in exchange for your bond, Mrs.
Gruffanuff,' cries the Fairy, with awful severity. 'I speak
for the last time.'
'No!' shrieks Gruffanuff, stamping with her foot. 'I'll have
my husband, my husband, my husband!'
'YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR HUSBAND!' the Fairy Blackstick cried; and
advancing a step, laid her hand upon the nose of the KNOCKER.
As she touched it, the brass nose seemed to elongate, the open
mouth opened still wider, and uttered a roar which made
everybody start. The eyes rolled wildly; the arms and legs
uncurled themselves, writhed about, and seemed to lengthen
with each twist; the knocker expanded into a figure in yellow
livery, six feet high; the screws by which it was fixed to the
door unloosed themselves, and JENKINS GRUFFANUFF once more trod
the threshold off which he had been lifted more than twenty
years ago!
'Master's not at home,' says Jenkins, just in his old voice;
and Mrs. Jenkins, giving a dreadful YOUP, fell down in a fit,
in which nobody minded her.
For everybody was shouting, 'Huzzay! huzzay!' 'Hip, hip,
hurray!' 'Long live the King and Queen!' 'Were such things ever
seen?' 'No, never, never, never!' 'The Fairy Blackstick for
ever!'
The bells were ringing double peals, the guns roaring and
banging most prodigiously. Bulbo was embracing everybody; the
Lord Chancellor was flinging up his wig and shouting like a
madman; Hedzoff had got the Archbishop round the waist, and
they were dancing a jig for joy; and as for Giglio, I leave you
to imagine what HE was doing, and if he kissed Rosalba once,
twice--twenty thousand times, I'm sure I don't think he was
wrong.
So Gruffanuff opened the hall door with a low bow, just as he
had been accustomed to do, and they all went in and signed the
book, and then they went to church and were married, and the
Fairy Blackstick sailed away on her cane, and was never more
heard of in Paflagonia.
and here ends the Fireside Pantomime.
End Project Gutenberg Etext of The Rose and the Ring
William Makepeace Thackeray, The Rose and the Ring
(Series: # )
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