“It’s gorgeous, complete perfection,” I assured her.
“Thank God. There was a small snafu with the florist, but the roses look good, right?”
I nodded. Before I could say more, the other guests started arriving. Like Rob and me, people had certainly glammed up for the occasion, but in my admittedly biased opinion, we were the hottest couple here. For dinner, we sat with Stuart and his family; his dad stared at me until I could practically hear him thinking, Look, it’s bathrobe girl, but Rob took my hand, distracting me from what could’ve been a bad moment.
From then on, I focused on him, letting my mom chat with our soon-to-be relatives for both of us. The menu card in front of me promised green salad with vinaigrette, mushroom soup, roast chicken with rosemary potatoes and crème brûlée for dessert. We ate an hour after arrival, then the speeches started. A woman from my mom’s work was apparently her maid of honor, so she told some funny stories about Mom and Stuart, then his best man took over, warming up the crowd further with more jokes.
Once he finished, he glanced at Stuart’s brother, a guy I’d just met. “Time for the families to weigh in. You’re up, Randall.”
He pushed his chair out and strode to the mic, much more confident in his body language than Stuart. “When I found out my bro was getting married, I said, ‘Seriously?’ Because we’d all given up on the idea that he could find anyone to put up with him.”
Everyone laughed but I didn’t think it was too funny. From Stuart’s expression, he wasn’t superamused, either. His smile was stiff and frozen, and I wondered if he was like Rob—used to seeing himself as a disappointment. From what I recalled, he’d grown up in Illinois, so his family must be visiting for the party. Given how extravagant it was, they must’ve been planning it for months, maybe even before I came home. Pondering that, I stopped listening to Stuart’s brother.
So I was completely flummoxed when Randall said, “Now I’ll turn the floor over to Lauren, Miriam’s lovely daughter.”
Shit. You didn’t tell me I have to talk, Mom. I shot her a daggered look as I pushed back from the table. Rob shot to his feet as I stood, a gesture that prompted an approving smile from Stuart’s mother. I skirted the tables, heart hammering too fast. You can do this for her. You can. You’re the only family she has. Taking the mic, I felt sick to my stomach until I found Rob in the crowd. I’ll talk to him. Everyone else is invisible. My other hand curled into a fist, nails biting into my palms.
“I’m a little unprepared,” I said softly, trying to avoid feedback. “But it’s easy to see why my mom chose Stuart to share her life. She told me she practically fell in love the minute she heard him sing, and I can confirm that he’s really talented. He’s also kind, intelligent and hardworking. He’s such a sweet guy, and I’m glad to welcome him into our family.”
There, that’s long enough, right? Rob gave me a thumbs-up as if he could read my mind. I finally broke eye contact with him and glanced at Stuart, who was smiling much brighter now. “So does this mean I can borrow the car...Dad?”
Everyone laughed, as I intended, but it wasn’t the kind of humor that made him the butt. He grinned at me and called, “Maybe,” as I put the mic back and worked my way back to my place at the table.
Rob hugged me to hide the fact that I was shaking. He held me until I had a grip on the nerves I’d hidden the best I could. “You did great,” he whispered.
Afterward, they piped in slow, romantic music. The party room was compact, not big enough for a DJ or a band, but the speakers were good. As others coupled up, Rob led me onto the floor, a surprise since I didn’t peg him as the dancing type. Yet he was graceful, light on his feet as we moved together; he was big enough to make me feel delicate and dainty in his arms.
“I could kill my mom,” I mumbled.
She was dancing on the other side of the room, trying to catch my eye. Sorry, she mouthed. A tap on Stuart’s shoulder, and they circled toward us until we were close enough to talk. I considered ignoring her, but that would be childish.
“Evelyn and Chris came up with the idea for speeches,” she whispered.
“And Randall added himself to the program,” Stuart put in.
Yeah, given the impression he made, I could picture that. No point in ruining their big night. I got through it. So I smiled at them. “It’s fine. I was just a little nervous.”
Understatement.
Mom flashed me a knowing look as Stuart said, “I appreciate everything you said about me. We don’t know each other very well, but I’m looking forward to changing that.”
“Me, too,” I said.
“You’ll have the chance in September,” Mom said. “Stuart just listed his house.”
“When is he moving in?”
“We’re getting married in September, so definitely then, if not before.”
It felt a little weird that she was telling me this instead of talking it over with me, but she had lived by herself for two years before I’d come back. I couldn’t expect her to consult me, like I’d be sticking around forever. Still, I didn’t know how I felt about living with Stuart. They were both watching me, a touch anxious, so I dug for a bright smile.
“I hope you don’t have any trouble selling your place,” I murmured. “And congratulations again.”
Only Rob spoke fluent enough Lauren to sense I needed to get away from them. He spun me into an ambitious maneuver in time to the upswing of the music, twirling me out and back in, and the movement separated us from the other two. My mom didn’t try to follow; she only rested her head on Stuart’s shoulder with a dreamy half smile.
“How do you feel about that?” Rob asked.
“Don’t know yet. I need some time to process.”
“Understandable. I can’t imagine my mom with anyone but my dad. Not that our situations are the same.”
“I know what you mean. But she’s definitely happy with him, and it’s not like I planned to live at home forever. I’d be an asshole if I pitched a fit over her finally having a life.”
He put his mouth close to my ear. “Doesn’t mean you want a close-up of newlywed bliss?”
Picturing that, I couldn’t help but grimace. “You make a sound point.”
“You could move in with me.”
Startled, I almost jerked out of his hold. “I could what now?”
“I’m serious. There’s plenty of room and I don’t need help with house payments.”
“I can’t mooch off you, Rob. I’d feel like a kept woman.”
He grinned. “Problem?”
“For my self-esteem, yeah. But if you let me buy groceries and pay utilities while you cover the mortgage, I might be okay with that.” Saying that, I waited for the panic to kick in, but for once, my brain was quiet. “Can I think about it? We don’t have to decide tonight.”
“Of course, beautiful. For you, there’s no limit on how long I’d wait.”
Stretching up, I kissed him. “Sweetness like that will get you underneath this red dress.”
He shifted his hand a touch lower, more on my hip than my waist. “I’m counting on it.”
That night, I made his secret, dirty fantasy come true.
* * *
A few weeks later, my phone rang in the middle of the night. I was at home because Rob had spent the evening with his parents; they’d wanted to talk about his dad’s condition, which I wasn’t supposed to know about. I groped for my cell, dropped it on the floor. “What?”
“It’s time. I need you to meet me at the hospital, Lauren.”
Oh, shit. “Krista?”
She moaned, breathing fast before she could reply. “You know someone else who’s having a baby?”
“I’ll be right there.”
Before heading out, I texted Rob, letting him know I’d be at the hospital with K
rista for who knew how long. He didn’t reply, unsurprisingly; he was probably asleep.
I was a shambles when I ran into the emergency room. Krista and her mom were already there filling out paperwork. Red-faced and sweaty, Krista was hunched over in a wheelchair, looking like she might pass out. I ran over to her, kneeling beside her. Her hand clamped onto mine, and she nearly broke all my fingers.
“Contraction?”
Note to self: adopt. Or get a dog. Anything else.
Before long, they had us in a birthing room, which didn’t look a whole lot different from a regular one. I expected a whole lot more action, but after they checked her dilation, the nurse said, “Get her some ice chips. It could be a while.”
“But it really fucking hurts,” Krista snarled.
Her mom stroked the hair off her head, and she smacked her hand away. Krista snapped, “I don’t want you in here seeing this, Mom. Any viewing of my vagina is off-limits to close family relations.”
“Fine. Send Lauren if you need me later.” Janet seemed sad when she left, but it was unwise to agitate a woman in labor.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I got the ice. When I got back, the nurses were doing things to Krista. To the best of my recollection, nobody ever told me how slow babies came into the world. On TV, it was always done in half an hour, but I sat there sympathizing with Krista for ten hours before things progressed. They gave her some kind of medicine to speed up the process and made her walk around, and then the party finally got started. Four hours later, her daughter was born. At that point, I’d never been so exhausted in my life, and all I did was hold her hand, let her yell at me and feed her ice chips.
“Isn’t she amazing?” Krista murmured, as the nurse set the baby in her arms.
“Did you decide on a name?”
“The last time I Skyped with Kenji, he said he likes the name Naomi.”
“That’s pretty.”
Tiredly, she nodded, tracing the baby’s tiny features with a fingertip. “Would you mind calling my mom in? She’s still here, right?”
Since I hadn’t been out of the room in five hours, I couldn’t be sure. “Be right back.”
Janet was asleep in the waiting room down the hall, so I woke her up with a gentle hand on the shoulder. “Your granddaughter’s finally here. Ready to meet her?”
“Oh, Jesus, finally.” Her spine popped as she staggered to her feet.
I steadied her and followed her back down the hall. Krista was sweaty and tired, but she beamed when she spotted her mom. “I did it. No epidural, no episiotomy.”
“Oh, honey, it would’ve hurt a lot less with pain meds.”
“If there’s a next time, I’ll try it that way. I just wanted to know if I could, that’s all.”
“You’re braver than me,” I said around a jaw-cracking yawn.
“You must be dying for some food and a nap,” Janet said. “I’ve had a whole pot of coffee on my own, so I can take it from here, if—”
“Thanks for everything,” Krista cut in.
“If you’re sure, I could use some sleep. I’ll come back tomorrow during visiting hours.” Luckily it was Sunday, so maybe I could get enough sleep so I wouldn’t be a wreck for work on Monday morning.
“Does Naomi need anything particular?” Krista hadn’t wanted a shower because she thought it was better to wait until the baby was born. That way she could be sure she didn’t end up with a ton of pink stuff for a surprise boy on the off-chance the ultrasound was wrong.
“We’ll have the baby shower when I get home,” she said with a grin. “I know, I do everything backward. Baby before wedding, shower after childbirth.”
Shrugging, I dismissed the idea that there was a right way to live. “I’m so happy for you. I bet you can’t wait to see Kenji and show him her little face.”
She sighed softly. “I can’t wait for him to come home.”
“How much longer?”
“Ten months or so. Give or take.”
Bending down, I kissed her cheek and touched the top of baby Naomi’s pink hat. Then Janet hugged me and I stumbled out of the room. Though I couldn’t put my finger on it, that experience changed me. Maybe it would sound stupid if I said it out loud—and shit, Krista would laugh at me—but what I’d just seen was...inspiring. Krista was now essentially a single mom, but she wasn’t panicking, even though the guy she loved was across the world. It made my problems seem small by comparison.
More to the point, her faith resonated in me, making me want to be stronger, better—and to believe in happy endings, even if I’d never really seen any. If my mom could take another crack at one, maybe I could stop seeing the world as such a dark place. Wearily, I climbed into my Civic and looked at the time.
Not quite five.
My eyes burned, and I had a headache clamping around my temples, a combination of exhaustion and lack of caffeine. The obvious solution to both those problems? Crawl into bed; don’t get up until tomorrow. Instead, I drove to Rob’s. At some point—and without my realizing it—he’d become my home, not the house I grew up in. And right now, for reasons I couldn’t articulate, I really needed to see him. There was a tightness in my chest like something terrible had happened, only it wasn’t that way at all. Could be the fatigue, but I felt like crying for no reason, and I didn’t want to do it alone.
I texted, Krista had her baby. Be there in ten minutes.
Rob: im here.
As the dusk pooled in purple shadows between the trees, Rob opened the door as I pulled into the drive. He was waiting in a pool of golden light, arms opening to pull me in before I even realized how bad I needed it. I love you, Rob. I love you so fucking much. Throat clotted with too much emotion, I turned my cheek against his chest, eyes closing.
“How’s Krista? Is the baby okay?”
“Yeah, they’re both fine. She had a little girl, and I think they’re naming her Naomi.” Seeming relieved, he cupped the back of my head in his big hands and went to work on the knots at the base of my skull. I nearly melted into a puddle. “Thanks.”
“And how are you? You look beat.”
“I am. But I wanted you more than sleep.”
His smile was like sunrise over the ocean, banishing all shadows and bathing me in a gorgeous shimmer of blue and gold. “I’m glad you came.”
Taking a second look, he seemed exhausted, too. “What’s up?”
He hesitated before admitting, “My folks talked to Nadia this week. About Dad.”
That must be why his parents wanted him to come over.
“How did she take it?” God, I was turning into such a shitty long-distance friend, like out of sight meant out of mind. I’d lost contact with Krista when she moved, too. Though we’d been emailing regularly, Nadia and I needed some face-to-face time soon.
“Well enough, I hear. I guess, based on how they started the Serious Talk, she thought he was dying of cancer, so Parkinson’s didn’t seem as bad.”
“I’ll call her.”
“Okay,” he said. “Come on, I’ll make something to eat.”
I shook my head, arms tightening on his waist. “Can we stay like this for a bit longer?”
“As long as you want,” he promised. “I’m not going anywhere.”
And like an idiot, I believed him.
CHAPTER TWENTY
In early June, I started my online classes.
The lack of classroom attendance made it much easier for me to focus, and as I’d hoped, the day job didn’t offer enough stress for me to worry about work when I wasn’t at the car lot. I got a sympathy bouquet from one of the office ladies, and when I gazed at her blankly, she dropped her eyes. I had no idea what this was about, until she touched me gently on the arm.
“I’m friends with Avery Jacobs’s mother,” she
whispered. “I know. Avery mentioned it to Margaret, and she knows I work with you...I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Oh.
I felt even worse, but since I made up that story and Rob came in, Davies had been the most professional butthead in the world. “These are beautiful. But if it’s all right, I’d rather not talk about it.”
For so many reasons.
“I’ll let the other girls know.”
“Thanks.” Feeling like a jackass, I got back to work, greeting customers and answering phones.
June melded into July in a flurry of work, school and Rob. That night I did some programming for the first time in ages, other than what I did on a regular basis on Rob’s site or promoting his channel online. It was crazy how popular “At Home with Rob” had become. Obviously people got famous on YouTube, but usually it wasn’t a guy talking about building tables or refinishing a floor.
Yeah, but look at Rob.
At this point, I could hardly stand to read his comments. He laughed at the sexual propositions and girls who were like, Rob, I think I love you. But the subscriptions kept ticking up, though he didn’t get more orders than he could handle, despite the impressive number of women who liked watching him build things. The longer we dated, the less I liked imagining countless women gawking at my boyfriend. But fuck it, I’m happy he’s got a following. Maybe we can parlay it into sponsorship money somehow.
Too bad more people weren’t willing to spend money on his beautiful furniture, and I had no idea how to rectify it. He was still doing construction full-time, making tables and things on nights and weekends. Between that extra work and my classes, we didn’t spend as much time together as I wanted. At the end of June, Stuart’s house hadn’t sold, and I was three months away from living with him and my mom, still considering Rob’s suggestion about moving in together.