Chapter 11
Jason Singh
I was getting nowhere, and it was killing me. Stress hung off me like a shadow, haunting my every step. I couldn’t let it get to me – couldn’t let the sweat continually collecting between my fingers and shoulders distract me.
“You should try to relax,” Mason said as he walked by my side, “I’ve never seen you more stressed. Still don’t have a date for the upcoming E Club ball? Because you could ask any single person in the Academy, and I’m sure they’d say yes. Son of an Admiral, decorated lieutenant – what’s there not to like about Jason Singh?”
I could pick up a few faults in my character – primarily my inability to complete this mission – but I wasn’t going to share that with Mason. Instead, I muttered an uninterested, “Hmmm.”
“Is there somewhere else you’d rather be?” Mason asked perceptively.
We walked around a corner, and I suddenly stopped. There were a group of first-years waiting for a class. She was standing off to one side, her head angled to the sky as she stared through the windows. With her long neck extended like that, she looked regal. Not haughty, just noble.
I swallowed all of a sudden.
“Or is there someone you’d rather be with?” Mason continued, his voice descending into a low chuckle.
It took me a moment to follow his conversation. As soon as I got his point, I spluttered.
I didn’t defend myself, I just spluttered.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Mason said knowingly. “But, honestly, when I said you could have your pick of anyone at the Academy, I didn’t include her. You might be the bravest guy I know, but somehow I doubt you have the balls to ask her out.”
“Shut it,” I warned.
Em turned from the window and made eye contact with me, even though I was certain she was well out of earshot.
“Damn, she’s like a targeting drone – you don’t think she can hear us, do you?” He asked with a chuckle.
Technically, no – she shouldn’t be able to hear us. She was a fair distance away, and there was a sea of chatting recruits between us.
Then again, Em had a habit of surprising me.
“So, I suppose you can’t tell me what happened last night,” Mason changed topics as another surge of cadets crossed down the corridor, blocking our view of Em.
“That’s the first right thing you’ve said all day. I can’t tell you a word. So don’t ask,” I added quickly.
“There’s a rumor it had something to do with her.” Mason shrugged through the crowd toward Em. “There anything to that rumor?”
“Nope,” I answered.
“I thought you said you couldn’t tell me anything?”
“I’m not – I’m just confirming she wasn’t involved.”
“What else can’t you tell me?”
I decided it was best to ignore Mason. If I was lucky, he’d get bored and go away, or something else would walk along and distract him.
I shouldn’t have wished for as much.
Just as the crowd thinned as a group of cadets entered a classroom, I saw someone walk up to Em.
The last person I wanted to see anywhere near her. And no, it wasn’t a potential suitor – it was Hendra.
I pushed off through the crowd just as Hendra reached a hand out to Em.
By now news had traveled of the last time Hendra had approached Em. An expectant silence spread through the corridor as virtually every cadet turned to watch.
Hendra had a hand flat on Em’s arm. Fortunately, Em didn’t turn, yank it off, and throw Hendra out the window. In fact, as Em turned, her expression lacked all sign of emotion. I was ready for the same cold, barely contained hatred to spread across the Cadet’s features, but they didn’t.
She looked calm. No, maybe that wasn’t the right word – she looked as though she were concentrating.
“Cadet,” Hendra began as I reached them.
“Hendra,” I said, trying to keep my voice quiet so it didn’t reach the ears of all those listening cadets.
Hendra ignored me. “I may be overstepping my bounds, but I have a moral imperative to. I believe I can help you. Please, just hear me out.”
To my astonishment, Em didn’t walk off, snap, or do anything even remotely rude. Instead, she stood there and stared at Hendra impassively.
It was like I was staring at a completely different Em. The power of her reaction when Hendra had confronted her the first time still reverberated through my muscles. If had forced her to climb outside the safety fence. Yet now she looked entirely unbothered as she replied, “I’m listening.”
I was seconds from telling Hendra to get the hell away from Em. I knew she’d been given a direct order from the Admiral.
My words stuck in my throat as Em turned to me and said, “It’s alright, Lieutenant. As Hendra said, she only wants to speak to me. I’ll hear her out.”
“You will?” I couldn’t keep the disbelief from shaking through my tone.
Hendra smiled with relief, the emotion so strong, you could feel it lapping off her in waves. “I knew you would come around. My race is renowned for their abilities to heal mental wounds. You will benefit so much from my help.”
Em smiled. Or at least I think she did. She moved her mouth muscles in all the correct ways, but there was no warmth in her move. “Yes, I know about your race,” she answered. “I am well aware of your capabilities, and I accept your help.”
Hendra looked ecstatic, her beautiful lips rounding into an incredible smile. Though the smile wasn’t directed my way, it still made me feel giddy. Not for very long – after a few seconds my gaze was magnetically drawn back to Em.
Why was she doing this?
Should I be worried about her sudden change in behavior? Should I let the Admiral know? She’d gone through a hell of a lot recently – especially considering what had happened last night. Her erratic behavior could be down to stress, or worse – a pending mental breakdown. Yet as I gazed at her face more critically, I couldn’t see any sign of strain. Just that same determined concentration.
She looked like she was trying to catch something. Or was that an emotion I was transferring onto her? I was trying to catch a spy, and yet all I was doing was standing here and staring at her.
“I have classes until the end of the day,” Em volunteered. “Perhaps we can arrange something for this evening?”
“Yes, that will be perfect – I’ll be waiting in my office.”
Em tilted her head to the side. It was her signature move. I’d watched her do it enough times to realize it was a sign of her calculating something.
What?
Why was she accepting Hendra’s offer?
Before I could ask, a teacher bellowed from behind us that class was about to start. All the waiting cadets, spell-bound by Em and Hendra, all scurried off.
Hendra bowed low, smiled at both me and Em, and walked away.
It gave me a few seconds to stare questioningly at Em. I didn’t know if I had the kind of relationship with her where she’d confide in me, but that didn’t stop me from leaning in and asking, “What was that about?”
“I have changed my opinion. I am interested in seeing what Hendra can do,” Em answered plainly.
I opened my mouth to ask her what had changed, but she nodded low and walked off, leaving me staring at her in surprise.
“You look like you’re trying to park a cruiser in that big wide-open mouth of yours,” Mason noted as he reached me and patted a hand on my shoulder.
I pressed my lips closed and ignored him.
What was Em doing?
I knew I shouldn’t be letting her distract me, but I couldn’t help it.
It was more important than ever for me to track down that spy, but instead I was standing here staring at her.
What was wrong with me?
…
Axira
I moved. I let myself go. Not completely, but more than I usually did. It felt good to push the energy thr
ough my muscles – to spring and jump and roll.
To pull off the shackles that usually bound me.
I leaped over another obstacle, just as it formed underneath me. I was in the training circle – a specialized track studded with holographic generators that could throw obstacles and enemies at you with all the speed and control of the Academy’s best computers.
A hole formed under my left foot, but I pivoted, placed weight on my free leg, and rolled to the side. Just as I did, an enemy formed above me, the snarling face of a Xerk appearing centimeters from my nose.
I jerked forward with my foot, slamming into its stomach as I brought up my gun and shot it in the chest. The hologram blinked out, only to be replaced with two more.
It was frantic, or would have been for an ordinary recruit. Objects and enemies flashed in and out of existence with such rapidity and speed, it would have left a normal, soft-fleshed race with a headache for a week.
“Work with your fatigue,” Lieutenant Ma’tovan suddenly counseled me from the sidelines. He was standing with his arms crossed, his massive chest puffed out, his black scaled skin catching the sun.
The training zone didn’t have a roof – though weak shields could be turned on if the weather turned inclement. Considering the size of some of the enemies the training zone could conjure, you couldn’t afford to have a roof. Right now that meant glorious midday sunshine was streaming in from above. Bright and warm, it lit up the zone, glinting off me and the track, but not interacting with the holograms – they were made of light, after all. The fact the sun couldn’t shine along the holographic Xerk’s armor, or glint along the barrel of my holographic gun gave this scene a dreamlike quality.
“Respect the tiredness in your muscles,” Ma’tovan continued.
I was measuring my effort, slowing down at intervals to make it appear as if I were weakening through fatigue, when in reality I could do this non-stop for a month.
“More than that, respect the tiredness in your mind,” he counseled in a booming voice. “That’s the first thing you need to watch for. Your limbs know when they can’t continue – they tell you. They get heavy, hard to move. The mind can’t signal its fatigue like that. I’m not talking about headaches or lack of attention – you know what I’m talking about.”
I did. This was not a training session to test the capabilities of my endurance – it was meant to teach me to listen to my moral compass.
I didn’t think it would work. How could fighting possibly teach me how to learn when not to fight?
“You need to learn to temper your strength, to learn when to fight and when to stop. Most of all, you need to learn when to let go. If you can’t master that lesson, then you’ll be nothing more than a pit of rage carrying a gun around.”
I appreciated what he was doing. Despite his blustery nature, Ma’tovan was one of the few people on campus I could relate to. He hadn’t shared with me his exact life story, but I knew it mirrored mine. He’d once been a mindless soldier following orders too. The extent of his enslavement couldn’t truly compare with mine, but the similarity was enough that I was receptive to his help.
“Most of all, Cadet, I want you to learn to trust yourself. Not just your battle instincts, but your moral ones. Only when you learn to trust yourself will I trust you.”
His words echoed around the training ground.
I trusted myself. I knew how to move my body, knew it would never let me down.
But my mind? Could I honestly learn to trust that?
I was happy for the Lieutenant’s help, but deep down I was doubtful it would work. The only thing that would ever truly assuage my guilt and soothe my moral conscience would be to defeat my master. Only when the galaxy was free from his insidious influence would I rest in peace.
…
Jason Singh
I leaped over an obstacle, just as it formed in front of me. I grunted, the noise echoing around the small training ground. I would have liked to be in one of the larger grounds, but the main one was currently being used.
I needed to let out steam. I needed to feel effective, even if it was only for a few minutes.
I punched to the side, pitching my body to the left and rolling heavily as a projectile slammed past my shoulder.
I let another grunt rip from my throat. Sweat dripped down my brow. I’d only been pushing myself for ten minutes now, but it had been nonstop. My body pumped with so much adrenaline, my hands would shake and my teeth would chatter if I had the time to stand still.
An enemy suddenly formed in front of me, the hologram flickering here and there as dust particles passed through the light matrix.
I threw myself forward, just as the Xerk warrior rushed toward me. He opened his perpetually snarling mouth, his beady eyes glinting like far off stars.
I shoved my shoulder hard into his gut, using my momentum to drive his massive form backward.
The Xerk stumbled, but almost immediately spun around with a backhand, walloping his huge arm across my shoulders.
I absorbed the force by ducking down, but the arm still impacted hard – so hard it would have left a massive contusion and a few broken bones, if this weren’t a holographic fight.
I couldn’t be injured during this simulation, not unless I was dumb enough to trip over and skin a knee. That or push myself too hard and strain something. The holographic enemies couldn’t shoot, maim, stab, or beat me to death. Instead, any damage they did was registered with the computer, showing my virtual life rapidly dwindling with each blow I received.
I only had a few bars of health left, and I had to use them wisely.
Pivoting on my foot, I shunted backward, falling to the ground and angling my feet up as the Xerk rushed me again. I pushed my feet together and punched them forward, striking the Xerk in the knees.
It was enough to make the holographic alien stumble, enough to give me the time to roll to the side and follow my move up with a well-placed kick to the back of the knees.
The Xerk stumbled. Before he could get up, I grabbed the gun in his holster and turned it on him.
“All enemies defeated. Your score for today’s training program is below average.”
I swore. So much for making myself feel effective. Even the computer thought I wasn’t up to much at the moment.
Dropping the holographic gun and watching it disappear before it could strike the ground, I wiped the back of my sweaty hand over my even sweatier face. Pressing my fingers into my lips, I forced several calming breaths.
Enough training. It was time to find that spy.
I glanced up at the afternoon sun above. A few more hours until evening, I realized.
A few more hours until Em would voluntarily accept Hendra’s help.
I let the thought distract me as I exited the training ground and got cleaned up.
What was Em really up to? Had she changed her mind? Or was this erratic behavior evidence she was at the point of breaking?