I trailed my mouth down her cheek to her neck, where I made sure to scrape my teeth along the delicate skin of her throat. Her amazing scent filled me, made me even harder than I thought possible. At first, I’d thought it might be lotion or body spray, but it hadn’t taken me long to realize it was just her. Everything about her drew me in. Her scent, her taste.
I practically tore her clothes off, uncaring of where they landed. As we moved to the bedroom, I yanked my shirt over my head, kicked off my pants, and still managed to keep kissing her. I couldn’t stop touching her. I cupped her breasts as I nipped at her throat, filled with the need to mark her, to make it so that anyone who saw her would know she was mine. I took her wrists again, and tipped the two of us back onto the bed, catching myself so that I didn’t crush her.
“You make me so fucking horny,” I said through gritted teeth as I released her wrists. “Don’t move your hands.”
Her eyes glowed at the command, twisting something new inside me. I filed away her reaction for future examination and then dropped a hand down between her legs.
“Wider, baby.” I bit her neck a little harder than I needed, but she simply moaned and obeyed.
Fuck. How had I not seen this side of her before?
My fingers found her wet and waiting. I brushed my thumb over her clit, then slipped a finger inside her tight heat. She whimpered, hips bucking up against my hand, but she didn’t move her hands from where I’d positioned them.
“Do you like that?” I asked.
“Yes,” she breathed.
“Tell me.” I stroked my finger along her inner walls, then added a second one, earning a moan. “Tell me you like it when I fuck you with my fingers.”
Her voice was barely intelligible when she spoke. It was heavy and thick with arousal. “I like it when you fuck me with your fingers.”
“What else do you like, baby?” I leaned down, teased her nipple with my tongue, then took the tip between my teeth.
“That,” she gasped. “Fuck, yes, that. More of that.”
I took her nipple between my lips, sucked hard. I twisted my hand and curled my fingers, searching for that sweet spot. She screamed, pussy clamping down on my fingers as she came. Her hands twisted in the bedspread, pulled it up before smacking her hands down again, face contorting in ecstasy. I kept up steady suction on her nipple, kept my fingers moving in even strokes, until one climax rolled into another.
Finally, as she gasped for breath, I couldn’t take any more.
I flipped her onto her stomach, pulled her onto her knees. I gripped her hips and buried myself inside her with a single thrust. I cursed as her muscles spasmed around me. She felt like liquid silk. Hot. Deep. I pulled out and thrust in again, felt her shudder. I leaned over her and grabbed both her hands, pulling them behind her back. I used them for leverage as I began to pound into her.
“You’re mine,” I told her harshly, needing her to know it.
Her hair fell across her face as she nodded. I could see how blissed out her eyes were and felt a burst of pride that I’d rendered her speechless. Still...
“You’re mine,” I said again, determined to make sure she never forgot it.
I lost track of how many times I thrust into her, how often she shook under me. All I knew was that she was perfect.
And that she was mine.
I bit down on her shoulder as I slammed home one final time. As I finally found my release, she came one more time, gasping out my name. I collapsed on her back, turned us so that I held her in my arms as we basked together.
“I like that side of you,” Jinx said as she rolled over to face me. She drew a circular pattern on my chest absentmindedly. “The aggressive side.”
A quiet laugh rumbled through my chest. “I like that you like that side of me.”
She went quiet, like she was thinking deeply about something. Then she looked up at me, and I was caught in her sapphire gaze.
“I’m worried about you, Drew.”
Fuck. I thought we’d sorted this out already.
She kept talking before I could form a reply. “I’m worried that you’re going to get yourself killed. I know that this is your dream, but there’s got to be something else you could do and still be happy.”
“You want me to quit?”
She hesitated but eventually nodded. “I just don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“It’s not a big deal.” I looked up at the ceiling. I couldn’t look at her when she was so sad. “The doctor was exaggerating. I’ll be fine.”
“But–”
“This is my life, Jinx.”
I didn’t like cutting her off, but I couldn’t stand to listen to this anymore. The more Jinx worried, the more I’d undoubtedly start to worry. And I couldn’t afford to. Not now that I had something new to tell her.
“I’ve been working toward this my whole life. I was going to wait for a good time to tell you this, but that Herman Kendell guy called. He’s flying me out to LA for a potential job in two weeks.”
She stirred in my arms, and her hand cupped my chin, tilting me down to face her again. “Really?”
“Yes.”
Jinx let go and settled back in the crook of my arm. “Congratulations.”
I knew that she meant it, but I couldn’t help but think it sounded just a little bit hollow.
22
Jinx
I’d been staring at the same empty Word document for the past ten minutes. I’d also started clicking a pen, which seemed contradictory somehow. But it didn’t matter what I did, the words wouldn’t come. Everything in my head was Drew. There was no room for local news pieces. Hell, there was barely even room for remembering to eat.
I was a mess.
After another minute ticked by on my computer’s screen, I blew out a sigh of frustration and reached for my phone.
Rhett picked up after a few rings. “Hey, Jinx. What’s up?”
I rubbed my stomach, willing the sickness in it to abide. I wasn’t normally the type to get sick from stress, but when I did, I didn’t wear it well. I needed a distraction, pronto, or else I’d just continue spiraling. Fortunately, Rhett was perfect for that.
“I need a distraction,” I said. “Do you want to go out tonight?”
The work day was almost finished, not that I’d gotten any work done. Sure, I’d done a little bit of editing during the morning and had a crack at the Gazette’s social media, which I’d been revamping, but other than that I may as well have not shown up.
“Of course!” Rhett exclaimed. “I’m bored out of my mind out here since you left me for your hottie.”
I smiled. “Great. Do you want me to come out there?”
“No,” Rhett answered just a little too quickly. “I’ll come to you. I heard that seafood bar on the main street is sensational.”
He’d been avoiding going out in Holmwood since those guys attacked him, and his offer told me that they still hadn’t the assholes yet. I just hoped for Rhett’s sake that the cops were at least trying. No one deserved to feel afraid like that in their own town.
We arranged to meet about an hour after work, which gave me just enough time to go home and freshen up. It didn’t give me much time to stew in my own worries, which was why it was ideal.
I tried to focus on my date with Rhett so I wouldn’t think about Drew. So I wouldn’t worry about him.
But who was I kidding? I felt like I’d only ever be able to think about him. I was screwed.
Rhett looked gorgeous as ever in a navy polo shirt and khakis, like he’d just walked off the cover of one of those professional men’s magazines. He greeted me outside the bar with an enthusiastic hug before we went inside and grabbed a table.
“So, what’s going on that you need distracting from?” Rhett asked, cutting to the chase as soon as we’d given our drink orders. “Don’t tell me things haven’t been going well with Mr. Wonderful.”
I pinched my lips like I was wincing in pain. “What would
you like me to tell you then?”
Rhett’s eyebrows dipped in together, and he grabbed my hand over the table, a protective expression on his face. “What’s happened? Are you okay?”
“Of course,” I said. “I’ll always be okay. But Drew...maybe not.”
I proceeded to fill Rhett in about the brain abnormality and about the near argument the day before. He listened patiently, nodding along even as his face grew increasingly concerned. I felt better as I talked. I’d never been able to go to my parents with this sort of thing, so it was refreshing to be able to share it with Rhett.
“Why the hell would he want to keep doing stunts if he’s only one hard knock on the head away from dying?” he asked. “Is he an idiot?”
“It’s his dream,” I said. “He doesn’t want to give it up. He’d be giving up all the hard work he’s put into it so far, and then he’d have nothing.” I sighed. “I suppose I can see it a little bit. I can’t imagine it would be easy for anyone to give up their dream even if their life was on the line.”
Rhett’s lip twitched. “You gave up yours.”
The words hit me like a ton of bricks. I stared at him in wide-eyed alarm. “No, I didn’t.”
“The Boston Globe.”
It was all he needed to say.
“That’s different.” I straightened my back and crossed my arms. “I just postponed my dream. And I’m still technically doing it.”
He raised his hands in a calming gesture. “Relax, Jinx. I’m not trying to criticize you. You weren’t ready to leave North Carolina, so you made the choice to settle for a lesser paper in the meantime. I get that.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Then what are you trying to say?”
Rhett let out a deep sigh as he settled back into his chair. “Dreams are malleable, is all I’m saying. The future isn’t set in stone, so how can a person’s passion be?”
I didn’t quite follow. Or maybe it was that I didn’t want to follow, because if I truly understood the meaning of what Rhett was trying to get across to me, then I’d have to start looking at some things I didn’t want to look at.
“Passion doesn’t just go away, Rhett. And I don’t think it’s fair to try to make it go away.”
Even as the words came out of my mouth, I knew I was defending Drew’s decision even though I’d made a different one when it came to him. And maybe that was part of it. I’d compromised on my dream career to be with him, but he wasn’t willing to do the same to stay alive. To stay with me.
“Maybe it’s not about the passion going away,” Rhett said, a knowing gleam in his eyes. “Maybe it’s just that when we find something else that we’re more passionate about, we can...shift our attention.”
Rhett was right. I’d discovered a new passion in Drew, which was what had made it so easy to take a hiatus in my career. It really did come down to whether or not Drew felt the same sort of draw when it came to me. I told myself it wasn’t a big deal if he didn’t, that I didn’t expect him to mold his life around me. But if he didn’t feel that way yet, would he ever? And if he didn’t, then what would I have?
As much as I hated to admit it, the facts stood for themselves. Drew thought nothing of going to LA for a potential job, but he’d been uneasy about me going to Boston for the same reason. He wanted me with him, but it seemed like it was only on his terms. Would he up and move across the country if the people in LA asked him to? And would he even consider what I wanted or if I’d go with him before he accepted? Would he even want me to go?
Suddenly, going out for drinks with Rhett seemed like a bad idea. Now I had a whole new layer of worry to see the world through.
23
Drew
My mom insisted on Jinx and I coming over for dinner. I wasn’t in the mood for it, and I doubted Jinx was either. Neither of us had been much in the mood for anything since she’d asked me to quit doing stunts a couple nights ago. I’d been so busy practicing that I’d barely seen her. And when I had, she’d been quiet and distant.
But Ivy Mikelson was not an easy woman to dissuade, so Jinx and I arrived together at the house just before six.
Derek answered the door first, chewing on a half-eaten French fry. “Hey, bro, come on in.” He slapped me on the back, then extended a hand to my girl. “Jinx, lovely as always.”
I grabbed Jinx’s hand before he could and pulled her into the house. I wasn’t in any mood for my little brother’s flirtatious antics. He could charm any other woman he wanted, but not Jinx. She was off-limits.
“Jinx!” Delaney peeled out of the living room and tackled Jinx in a tight hug. “It’s so good to see you!”
“You too!”
“Derek, have you heard from your brother?” Mom asked, coming out from the kitchen brandishing a pair of barbecue tongs.
“Right here.” Derek pointed to me with another fry.
She rolled her eyes. “Other brother. He was supposed to be bringing buns, but he hasn’t gotten here yet.” She finally looked over at Jinx and me. A smile grew on her face the moment she set eyes on Jinx. “Darling, you look so beautiful. Has my boy been treating you well?”
Jinx opened her mouth to answer, but Derek cut in first. “Doubt it. Dallas says Drew’s been spending more hours at the track than he has home.”
“What?” Mom glared at me, brandishing her tongs. “You’ve been neglecting the poor girl? What will she think about how you were raised?”
Jinx opened her mouth to speak, but this time Delaney interrupted, “If I had a girlfriend like Jinx, you bet your biscuit I’d spend every spare second I had with her.”
I bristled at the accusing look my little sister sent my way. “I have to work,” I reminded them. “I’m going out to LA in a couple of weeks to talk to some people about a job. I have to be prepared.”
The door swung open behind me, and Dallas strolled in. He raised the bag of buns he was carrying in mock salute. “I have arrived. Do not fear.”
Mom completely ignored him as she took a step toward me, eyes narrowing. “You’re going to LA? Is Jinx going with you?”
Jinx seemed to shrink in on herself, as if she was trying to disappear. Clearly, she didn’t want to have this discussion any more than I did.
“No,” I answered succinctly. “Can we go eat?”
Derek put a hand to his heart dramatically. “The lovers parted? That’s horrible!”
Dallas was more blunt. “You’re an idiot, Drew.”
“It’s really not a big deal,” Jinx managed to pipe in.
Derek wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her over to him. “Don’t worry. We’ll look after you while your mean boyfriend’s gone.”
“Enough!”
I had to resist the urge to snatch Jinx back, like some spoiled toddler. I was furious with my brothers, with all of them, but I had to keep it together. This was my life, and they had no right to interfere. What happened between Jinx and me was our business.
I sighed and closed my eyes. “It’s been a long day. Do you think we could just go eat and talk about someone else’s life for a while?”
Delaney grinned. “I got a job at the Sephora in town.”
“Congratulations!” Jinx said, shaking out from under Derek’s arm.
“We can do this over dinner,” Mom decided. She craned her head back and yelled toward the living room. “Tobias! Dinner’s ready.” Then she shooed us toward the patio.
It was simple fare – burgers, fries, and salad, with peach cobbler for dessert – but I enjoyed it immensely. Once the conversation turned toward Delaney and how she was doing, some of the tension in my shoulders eased.
I liked that my family was so concerned for Jinx. Well, sort of. I mean, it was annoying as hell, but the fact that they clearly liked her was great. I’d never brought anyone around before, so I didn’t know how they’d take it. I supposed this was better than them disliking her, but I didn’t like them being so nosy.
And they weren’t the only ones. Before we’d come over, Jinx h
ad asked if I was going to tell my parents about what the doctor’s diagnosis. She disagreed when I said no, but I thought she’d dropped it after that. Through the whole meal though, she kept shooting me “say something” glances.
I wished she would leave it alone. Her concern had been touching at first, but now it was starting to grate on me. I was my own man, and I could make my own damn decisions about my future.
“So, how did things go down in Florida?” my dad asked as we were clearing up. Jinx and Delaney were chatting by the sink as they did dishes, and Dallas and Derek had gone off to do something, leaving me to clean up.
“Things were fine,” I said. “The show went well.”
“And that’s how this manager guy found you?”
I nodded.
My dad finished picking up the napkins and other assorted mess from the table, and I started wiping it down. He let out a long exhale, and I knew my torment was far from over.
“She’s a good girl, that Jinx,” Dad said.
“I know.” I couldn’t help the tick in my jaw.
Dad smiled at me. “I know you know. Just like I know you know something has changed in her since you last brought her here.”
Shit. I’d tried not to notice the change, but it had been slowly creeping into our relationship since she’d found out about me taking those drugs. It’d just gotten worse after I’d told her the doctor’s diagnosis. I wished she would just let it go like I had. I was the one in danger, after all, and I was getting on with my life just fine.
“She’s just stressed out because of work,” I lied.
Dad didn’t look like he believed that for one second, but he didn’t press for the truth.
“Just remember that there are always opportunities in life, kid.” He clapped me on the back. “Some are rarer than others, but there will always be more of them for those who deserve them.”