‘Why not, Theodora, it’s very humid, isn’t it?’
After she had given Ketti her cup of tea, Teddy doused the lights, drew back the heavy blackout curtains, and flung open the glass doors leading into the garden.
There was a high, full moon riding the dark crest of the clouds, and it silvered the apple tree, the rose bushes and the rockery filled with alpine flowers that was Ketti’s pride and joy. A slight breeze had blown up and it rustled the leaves of the old tree, and swept the heady fragrance of the last of the summer roses towards them on the pleasant, night air.
The two women sat in silence, looking out at the garden, beautiful now in the moonlight and uncommonly peaceful. Once more, the war seemed remote to them both, far, far away after the air-raid of earlier,—at this moment it might not have even existed. They sipped their tea, not talking at all, lost in the complexities of their own reveries.
It was Ketti who finally spoke first, when she said quietly, ‘Children know too much about too many things these days, and well before they should, in my considered opinion.’
‘I suppose they do,’ Teddy acknowledged. ‘It’s the times we’re living in, I’m afraid.’
‘That’s true, and between the wireless and the news-reels at the picture house and the newspapers, it’s not possible to hide anything from them these days, I’m sad to say,’ Ketti added.
Teddy was silent, and she did not speak for a while, caught up in her thoughts as she was, until she suddenly blurted out, ‘Where will I find the wisdom to raise him, to bring him up properly, Aunt Ketti?’
Ketti put her cup back in the saucer with a clatter, startled by these words which she found quite extraordinary. They literally took her breath away. ‘What ever makes you ask me a thing like that, Theodora?’ she demanded, her voice rising slightly to a higher pitch.
‘I can’t help asking it, when I think of Maxim and the way he is these days,’ Teddy replied. ‘He’s so clever, and he has such brain power. I don’t have to tell you that he’s a quite remarkable little boy, since you know that already. But I wonder if you’ve ever realised how much he is aware of?’ She did not wait for a response, rushed on, ‘His teachers at Colet Court keep telling me that he’s a brilliant student… and imagine, I used to think I was prejudiced because he’s mine and I love him so much, but I’ve discovered I’m not prejudiced at all. Maxim is unique, Aunt Ketti, and sometimes I think he knows more than I do. About almost everything, too. So who am I to bring him up…’ Her sentence trailed off and she sat back, staring at her aunt, looking glum in the dim light.
Ketti did not immediately reply.
She rose and went over to the glass doors, which she closed. After attending to the blackout curtains and switching on a lamp, she sat down again and examined Teddy closely through narrowed eyes. ‘This is the first time you’ve ever spoken so negatively, Teddy dear. You sound as if you think the Westheims won’t be bringing him up themselves.’ There was a moment’s hesitation on Ketti’s part before she leaned forward, clasped Teddy’s hand in hers, asked urgently, ‘Have you had bad news from Germany? Is there something you’re not telling me?’
Teddy shook her head, but nevertheless she sounded worried as she said, ‘No, I haven’t had any news, good or bad. You’d be the first to know if I had. However, I’m not stupid, and even if they weren’t arrested and taken away to one of those hideous camps and are still in Berlin, how could they possibly be alive? Berlin has been razed to the ground by British and American bombers. You know the raids have been far heavier than usual of late, and on a non-stop basis.’
‘The raids in London have been just as grim and we’re alive, aren’t we? So you see, we mustn’t give up on the Westheims. And even if they were taken to a camp, they may well be surviving.’ Ketti paused, took a deep breath, and finished emphatically, ‘Certainly I will not give up hope for them.’
‘I try to believe they’re alive, Aunt Ketti! I do! I have to, for the child’s sake. But it’s been so long since we’ve heard anything… years. And Arabella von Wittingen hasn’t been in touch for ages either. I can’t help wondering if that’s because she knows something new… something she’s afraid to tell me.’
‘Nonsense, Theodora! The princess is a true aristocrat, and as such she would never shirk her duty, even if that duty meant she had to be the bearer of bad tidings!’ Ketti exclaimed. She squeezed Teddy’s hand more tightly, and her voice was strong as she asserted, ‘I know in my heart of hearts that Ursula and Sigmund Westheim are alive. You must believe that too, Teddy dear. You must have faith, as I do.’
Her aunt’s positive attitude seemed to have the right effect on Teddy, and she immediately brightened. ‘Yes, you’re right, Aunt Ketti, it’s ridiculous of me to be so pessimistic, I realise that,’ she said, ‘especially since I’ve nothing to go on. Besides, Ursula Westheim is a clever and resourceful woman. If anyone can survive under difficult and extreme circumstances, she can. I agree with you, I’m sure she and Herr Westheim are all right. And the rest of the family. She would see to that.’
‘Maxim’s grandmother might have passed on, God rest her soul,’ Ketti murmured softly.
‘She was frail, yes, and the stroke she had five years ago paralysed her…’ Teddy did not have the heart to continue.
Ketti inclined her head slightly, sat back in the chair, and sipped her tea.
A silence fell between them yet again.
Teddy, in particular, was lost in her thoughts, and an abstracted expression glazed her face as she drifted off, endlessly caught up in her concerns for the Westheims and Maxim.
Ketti cast a glance in her direction and then picking up the teapot she poured herself another cup, nibbled on a ginger biscuit and carefully observed her niece, reflecting about her. She’s a good girl, Ketti thought. The best. So straightforward and honest. There’s not a devious bone in her body. And she’s strong of heart. And loyal and kind and loving. She loves that child too much, though. Yes, she’s building a tragedy for herself, thinking that Maxim’s hers. He’s not, and his parents will come and take him away one day, and then where will she be? Heartbroken, I’ve no doubt. Oy vey is mir, such tsuris will we have when that happens, oh yes, trouble and then some. What she needs is to be married. That will help to soften the blow when the Westheims take him away from her, as they will once the war ends. After all, he is their child, not hers, whatever she might think. Yes, marriage is definitely the solution. Marriage, and babies of her own to love.
Ketti cleared her throat and ventured carefully, ‘Talking of absent friends, what about Willy Herzog? I haven’t heard you mention him lately.’
Teddy looked at her aunt swiftly, then lifted her shoulders in a light shrug. ‘I had a letter from him the other day. Opened by the British censor, of course, because of the foreign postmark. But they needn’t have bothered. There was very little in the letter, and Willy didn’t have much to say about anything.’ She let out a small sigh. ‘I’ll never understand why Willy left Palestine and went to Shanghai. I realise it’s an international city, but what can that possibly mean to Willy?’ She shook her head in bafflement and instantly answered her own question. ‘It means nothing to him, that’s what! His moving there has never made the remotest bit of sense to me.’
‘Nor to me, Teddy. It always seemed to be a meshug-geneh thing to do, a crazy idea, if you want the truth,’ Ketti said quietly, and added, ‘China is so very, very far away.’
‘So is America,’ Teddy muttered.
‘What do you mean, dear?’
‘You know very well Willy wants to live in America when the war is over.’
‘So you’ve told me. But I thought you were keen to go there too.’ Ketti gave her a questioning look.
‘I was, when Willy and I were in Berlin,’ Teddy answered quickly. ‘But it struck me tonight, very forcibly, that I don’t want to leave London. I’d like to spend the rest of my life here, Aunt Ketti. I feel comfortable with the English, and you’re here, and you’re the only f
amily I have. Besides, Maxim likes living in England. He loves Colet Court, and he can’t wait to go to St Paul’s when he’s thirteen, and later to Oxford when he’s old enough. So I couldn’t go to America with Willy anyway, because of Maxim.’ She paused and glanced at her aunt. ‘Well, I couldn’t, could I?’
Ketti stared at her, dumbfounded by her statements, and perturbed about her attitude towards Maxim. She said slowly, pointedly, ‘When the Westheims get here you can do anything you want, Teddy, since they will be raising their own child.’
‘Oh yes, I know they will. But look, don’t misunderstand me, Aunt Ketti, when I say this… but if something has happened to them, God forbid, then I am responsible for Maxim until he’s grown up. I promised Frau Westheim I would bring him up until he could take care of himself. And even looking on the positive side, and believing they will come to London eventually, I would still prefer to live in England. Aside from anything else, I want to be near Maxim, to visit him at school, and see him from time to time. That’s only natural, under the circumstances, isn’t it?’
‘Perhaps,’ Ketti said in a low voice.
She was thoughtful for a few seconds, and then she murmured in her most gentle and loving tone, ‘I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but from the way you’re speaking, bubeleh, it sounds to me as though Maxim means more to you than Willy Herzog.’
Teddy opened her mouth to say something and then, obviously changing her mind, she instantly closed it.
Ketti probed, ‘Don’t you love Willy?’
‘I don’t know,’ Teddy said after a moment, speaking the truth. ‘And I’m not even sure that I want to marry him any more.’
‘You told me he is a real mensh, and a good Jew who goes to shul regularly, that he is reliable and studious, and all these things seemed to please you. But if I recollect correctly, and I do, you have never actually used that most important word in relation to Willy. The word love, Teddy. You’ve never said to me that you love Willy.’
‘I was never entirely certain that I did, I suppose,’ Teddy said, sounding regretful. ‘I was young then, back in Berlin. Only nineteen, and I thought I wouldn’t find anyone who was nicer than Willy, better than he is, because he is a good person, and that’s why I said I’d marry him… I think.’
Ketti was quiet, but her mind was turning with great agility and rapidity. What I need is a shadchen. Ach! What good will a matchmaker do me, when all the nice Jewish boys are off fighting this terrible war? Never mind. I must go and talk to Rebecca Cohen. And Sarah Levine. Tomorrow. I’ll go tomorrow. Fine sons they both have. Fine sons their sisters have. All single. A fine Jewish boy I will find for my Theodora, my only niece, my brother’s only child. An English Jew to be her husband. That’s what I need for her.
‘Is something wrong, Aunt Ketti?’
‘No, no, why do you ask?’ Ketti cried, sitting up with a jerk, looking across at her niece, proffering her the sweetest of smiles.
‘You look troubled, that’s all.’
‘I’m all right, Theodora. Perfectly all right. I was just thinking about… er… thinking… Thinking that five years is a long time for you to have been separated from your Willy Herzog. And these past five years have changed you, Teddy. Living here has changed you, the war has changed you, being entirely responsible for Maxim and making all the decisions about his education has changed you. And you’ve grown up a little. No, I correct myself, you’ve grown up a whole lot. You’re twenty-five now, not nineteen, and Willy is also twenty-five, and I’m quite positive that he, too, has been changed by his experiences and the life he’s lived in Palestine and Shanghai.’
Ketti paused and gave Teddy a meaningful look as she finished slowly, ‘Why, you could say that you and he will be like total strangers when you meet again.’
‘Yes,’ Teddy said, her voice almost a whisper. ‘I’ve already thought of that.’
TWENTY-THREE
‘Can we go to Lyon’s Corner House for lunch?’ Maxim asked, looking at Teddy.
She returned his glance and nodded as she reached into her bag for money and their clothing coupon books. ‘Yes, we can, and I think we’ll have it next, before we look for that raincoat for you. As Aunt Ketti always says, I’m feeling a bit peckish. Aren’t you?’
‘Yes, I am.’
Teddy and Maxim stood together at the counter in the boys’ clothing department in Selfridge’s, waiting patiently for the young woman who was serving them to check if she had a third shirt in Maxim’s size. The girl soon returned, shaking her head and grimacing. ‘Sorry, madam, but those are the last two in your boy’s size. Would you like to look at some jerseys perhaps?’
‘No, thank you very much. We’ll take the two shirts and leave it at that for today,’ Teddy said, and handed her the clothing coupon books and a pound note.
The girl made out the bill, clipped the coupons out of the ration books, counted Teddy’s change, and gave it to her, along with the books and the bill. After putting the white shirts in a paper bag, she said, ‘Here you are, madam,’ and passed the bag to Teddy.
‘Thank you,’ Teddy said.
The girl grinned at Maxim and remarked, ‘Summer hols never seem to last very long, do they? Now it’s back to school, eh? Grim thought.’
‘I like school,’ Maxim told her.
The girl gave him a glance that was entirely sceptical, and raised an eyebrow rather expressively. With a small smile she moved along behind the counter and began to attend to another customer waiting with her young son.
Teddy winked at Maxim conspiratorially, put an arm around his shoulders and hurried him through the boys’ clothing department, across the main hall of the large store, and out into Oxford Street.
The two of them walked towards Marble Arch, where Lyon’s Corner House was located, not talking as they hurried along, dodging in and out between the other pedestrians. It was a Saturday morning at the beginning of September. The sky was a radiant blue, without a cloud and shimmering with pale sunlight. It was a soft day, balmy, and unusually warm for September, a day for the garden rather than the hard city streets.
Teddy wished they were sitting in the shade of the old apple tree, sipping a cool lemonade and reading. But there had been no avoiding this shopping expedition, since Maxim had to return to school in a few days, and certainly he needed the extra shirts and a new raincoat. He was growing so rapidly, sprouting every day. All arms and legs, or so it seemed to her; he was tall for ten.
Maxim suddenly said, in a slightly indignant voice, ‘That girl who served us in Selfridge’s didn’t believe me when I said I liked school.’
Teddy looked at him through the corner of her eye. ‘Not everyone does, you know. Unlike you,’ she said, and started to laugh.
The laughter instantly froze on her lips and abruptly she stopped walking and looked up at the sky fearfully. Maxim did the same thing, as did the other people hurrying along both sides of Oxford Street.
The high-pitched roaring noise was only too familiar and frightening to Londoners. It was a flying bomb, one of the pilotless aircraft, and it was zooming across the blue sky towards them at a relatively low level. The air-raid siren was already wailing in unison, and the combined noises were obliterating the sound of the traffic.
For a moment Teddy and Maxim were mesmerised as they stared up into the clear, wide arc of the sky. The bomb was flying at a level so low they could easily see the insignia of the swastika painted on its fat underbelly.
People began to scream, and they scattered in all directions, running in search of shelter or some form of protection.
Teddy grabbed hold of Maxim’s hand, shouted, ‘Come on!’ and dragged him out into the middle of the road, as far away from the store fronts as possible. The bomb was now casting a giant shadow over Oxford Street and the crowds, and then its engine cut out, which always happened before it started to fall. Reacting with her typical alertness and presence of mind, Teddy instinctively pushed Maxim down onto the ground and flung herself on top of h
im, shielding his body with her own.
Other people were also dropping to the ground in a similar fashion, hoping to protect themselves as best they could from the flying bomb. A bus screeched to a standstill; passengers jumped off, along with the driver and the conductor, all of them seeking to take cover, or to at least minimise the risk of injury by lying prone.
A taxi swerved, and came to a halt close to Teddy and Maxim, and braked. The cabbie leapt out, flattened himself on the road next to Teddy, and shouted to her, ‘Crikey! It’s a bleedin’ Jerry buzz bomb, an’ right over our bleedin’ heads!’
The cabbie wrapped his arms around his head and hissed at her, ‘Do the same as me with your arms, ducks. Protect yourself, as well as your lad. Against the glass. It’s the shattering glass from the store windows does the most bleedin’ harm. Folks get slashed to ribbons by the flyin’ glass.’
‘I know,’ Teddy yelled back, and took the cabbie’s advice, covering her head with her arms.
‘Look after yourself as well as me,’ a muffled voice from underneath her body instructed, and she replied, ‘I’m fine, Maxim, don’t worry.’ But her words were drowned out by the sound of the crash and, a split second later, a terrific explosion.
The cab-driver was the first to raise his head and look around. He stood up, briskly brushing down his trousers as he did so. ‘We was lucky, ducks,’ he said to Teddy. ‘It could have come down right on top of us. But the bleeder fell somewhere behind the Cumberland Hotel. Down Edgware Road. Poor buggers, whoever it was that got it.’
Teddy looked at him speechlessly, willing the shaking in her limbs to stop, and for a moment she was unable to get up off the ground so shaken was she.
In the distance there was the sudden roaring sound of another flying bomb, and like the first it was heading in their direction. Everyone looked at the sky, immediately anticipating further danger, and the screaming started all over again.