“Thanks,” she murmured. “And I’m sorry about all…that. Everything that happened.”
“What did happen?” Sylvan asked, sitting beside her. “Are you feeling all right now?”
“Much better.” She took a deep breath. “I think it was the dress. The tharp, I mean. But how can that be?”
Sylvan frowned. “What was it doing?”
“Tickling me. Making me itch unbearably. And the sleeves kept twitching too.” She shivered. “Do you think I’m allergic to the fabric, er fur it’s made of?”
“It’s not made of anything,” Sylvan said. “It’s a sentient being—well, semi-sentient, anyway. But I’ve never heard of anyone being allergic to one before.”
“What?” She looked shocked. “You mean I’ve been wearing something that’s alive all this time? Like…like some kind of animal?”
“Of course. An animal with somewhat limited intelligence, but very useful nonetheless.” He looked at the moss green tharp which still dangled limply from his hand. “This one seems brighter than most but still—”
“You let me wear an animal? A live animal and you didn’t tell me?”
“I don’t understand why you’re upset.” Sylvan shook his head. “Don’t your people wear furs too? I know they do—I’ve seen females wearing fur coats and the like.”
“But they’re dead.”
“So you’d rather wear a dead animal than a live one?” Sylvan was still trying to understand.
“A dead animal can’t hurt you or tickle you until you laugh uncontrollably like a maniac.” Sophie crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him, her eyes blazing. “Or spill a glass of…of woo on the person beside you. Or fondle the other person beside you. Or decide to come down in the middle of a very public function and flash your ta-tas to everybody in the entire room!”
Sylvan frowned grimly. “I wondered what in the world Lady Whitethorn and Magistrate Licklow were talking about. I knew you wouldn’t…” He cleared his throat. “Make advances to someone who didn’t care to receive them.”
“Of course I wouldn’t!” Sophie exclaimed, her cheeks turning bright red. “I don’t understand, Sylvan—why didn’t you tell me about the tharp? That was awful.” Her voice broke on the last word.
Sylvan felt terrible. “I’m so sorry, Sophia,” he said. “I thought Nadiah would explain to you while she was getting you dressed. She was supposed to be certain that you were matched to a tharp that was compatible to you.” He held up the tharp and frowned at it. “Which this one clearly is not.”
Sophie sniffed. “She did say something about it not being the right one for me but I thought she didn’t like the color. I had no idea it would do such appalling things.”
“A mischievous tharp can be a lot of trouble but I’ve never heard of one behaving as badly as this one.” Sylvan frowned at the now quiescent animal again. “It must really dislike you.”
“Well the feeling is mutual, I assure you! Get rid of it!” Sophie drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. “I just can’t believe this. I’ve never been so embarrassed in all my life.”
Sylvan sighed. “I’ll dispose of it immediately. Do you want me to kill it?”
Sophie bit her lip. “I…I don’t know. No, just…get rid of it.”
“Very well.” He nodded and turned to go. “It will die anyway once it’s away from you.”
“What? Hey, come back.”
Sylvan turned back to her. “Yes?”
“Why? Why will it die?”
“Even though you two are a bad match, it’s imprinted on you,” Sylvan explained. “Tharps live by choosing a single host and drawing warmth from their skin. In conditions of extreme cold they multiply it and give it back, keeping their host warm—it’s the reason we cultivate them here on Tranq Prime. This one…” He shook the moss green tharp. “Won’t be able to take warmth and nourishment from anyone else.”
Her eyes widened. “So you’re saying that without me that…that thing will slowly starve to death?”
Sylvan nodded. “Yes.”
“Oh my God.” She put her head in her hands. “This is just too much—too much.”
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “I didn’t mean for you to feel overwhelmed.”
She looked up, her eyes blazing. “Well then you should have told me about the tharp instead of assuming that someone else would. You should have told me I was picking out a lifetime companion and not just a dress to wear to a fancy banquet. Now I feel like somebody who picked a puppy up at the pound and decided to return it because it chewed up all my furniture and peed on my leg.”
Sylvan frowned. “What?”
“Just give it back. Give it here.” She gestured at the tharp.
“But I thought you hated it?”
“I do.” Sophia’s eyes filled with tears. “I hate this whole damn place. I hate the fact that you have live toilet paper and that you eat dog crap and bug guts for dinner and drink woo that looks like blue Kool-aid and tastes like somebody lit a blowtorch in your mouth. I hate the fact that it’s so damned cold outside I can’t get away. So I’m trapped here with your aunt and uncle, who can’t stand me, because the live clothing they gave me to wear made a fool of me in front of their entire community. And now I’m stuck with a pet I don’t want for…how long do they live?”
Sylvan cleared his throat. “The average tharp can live as long as its owner.”
“For life.” Sophia threw up her hands. “I’m stuck with a horrible, badly behaved pet I don’t want for the rest of my life! I hate it, Sylvan. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. And I just…just want to go home.” The last word ended on a sob and she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking with the force of her tears.
“Talana…” Sylvan put a hand on her shoulder but she shrugged it off.
“Just go away and leave me alone,” she whispered brokenly. “Go back to Feenah—that’s where you want to be.”
“That isn’t true,” Sylvan said in a low voice.
“Of course it is.” She looked up, her eyes red from crying. “I saw the way you two were looking at each other. Not that I can say anything, I know. But still…still…”
“Still what?” Sylvan’s heart gave a strange little thump. Could it be that she was jealous? That she cared for him after all? Enough that he didn’t want him to see Feenah?
But Sophia only shook her head. “Never mind. Just…go. Leave the tharp and go.”
Sylvan wanted badly to stay and comfort her. To cuddle her in his arms and whisper that everything would be all right. But from the look on her tearstained face his comfort wasn’t wanted right now. In fact, he was fairly sure that Sophia wouldn’t want anything to do with him or any of the rest of Tranq Prime for some time to come.
“Very well, Talana. Maybe we can speak later.” Sighing, he dropped the tharp at the foot of her sleeping platform and left the room.
What else could he do?
Chapter Thirty
Sophie didn’t know how long she cried but finally her sobs tapered off to sniffles, and she lay quietly on the bed on her side. She was so worn out and emotionally exhausted that she didn’t even scream when the moss green tharp began moving toward her. It’s probably coming to suffocate me, she thought dully as she watched it inch across the sleeping platform. Not that I care at the moment. At least then I’d be off this horrible planet.
But the tharp didn’t try to wind itself around her neck or cover her face. Instead it slowly draped itself around her shoulders like a shawl. It wasn’t until she began to feel warm that Sophie realized she’d been shivering.
“All right,” she said aloud, stroking an edge of the furry creature. “I know you’re just being nice because I’m your only source of food but okay, you can stay.”
The tharp seemed to snuggle closer in response to her words and Sophie found that she was actually comforted. Now that she thought about it, having a living blanket that could cuddle with you and keep you warm, even in
the coldest weather, was kind of nice. She just wished she’d known about it before she’d agreed to wear it as clothing.
“Why didn’t anyone tell me about you?” she said as the tharp nuzzled her cheek. “If I had known what to expect I wouldn’t have been so freaked out.” She vaguely remembered Liv complaining about a live blanket that Baird had gotten from somewhere, but she had never made the connection between that and the tharps of Tranq Prime. Now, of course, she realized the live blanket and the tharp must be one and the same.
“You were very naughty tonight,” she told the tharp sternly. “You caused me a lot of trouble. I’ll keep you around but I’m never wearing you again—I just
want to make that clear.”
The tharp nuzzled her again and Sophie could’ve sworn that she heard a very faint sound that was somewhere between a hum and a rustle. It reminded her of the rusty sounding purr her cat, Miss Meow used to make when someone stroked her. “Maybe I should name you,” she said, stroking it again. “You remind me of my old cat, Miss Meow. How about if I call you Miss Meow Two? I know it’s not very original but you could go by MM2 for short. That sounds kind of science fiction-y and God knows that’s what everybody on Earth is going to think you are—if I ever get back there, I mean.” She sighed.
“Hey, who are you talking to?”
Sophie looked up to see Nadiah standing in the doorway. “Oh, hi.”
“I hope you don’t mind.” Nadiah bit her lip and shifted from foot to foot uncertainly. “I’ll go if you want me to. I wouldn’t blame you if you were really mad at me but Sylvan asked me to check on you.”
“Really?” Sophie sat up and swiped under her eyes. “Uh, where is he?”
“Back at the feast. Well, it’s almost over now. Pretty soon everyone will be going to the Snowdrop Dance.”
Sophie groaned and put a hand over her eyes. “Great. Just great. And I’m sure he’ll dance the night away with his ex—who probably won’t be his ex by the time the dance is over.”
Nadiah shrugged and came to sit on the sleeping platform beside her. “Well, it is kind of obvious that Feenah has decided she wants him back. I even heard her call him Tanar before I left.”
Sophie frowned. “I heard her call him that too. What does that mean? Is it just an endearment like ‘honey’ or ‘darling?’”
Nadiah snorted. “Hardly. It means ‘heart’s desire’. It’s what you call your male when you’re either mated or about to be mated.”
Sophie groaned again. “Ugh! She was being so superior and treating me like I was his pet or something! And then to call him that right in front of me…” She shook her head and then had another thought. “Nadiah, what does Talana mean?”
Nadiah’s eyes went wide. “Goddess, you heard him calling her that?”
“No. That’s what he calls me. He told me it was just a nickname like ‘baby’ or ‘sweetheart.’ Is it?”
Nadiah gave a long, low whistle. “No, not at all. Tell me, how many times has he called you that?”
“A lot,” Sophie admitted. “He started before we ever came here. Why, what does it mean?”
“Blood of my blood. It’s what Blood Kindred call their bonded brides. If he’s calling you that, Sophia, I don’t think you have to worry about Feenah.”
“Yes, I do,” Sophie protested. “Because she’s determined to have him back. And he’s foresworn himself of me. And…and…it’s all my fault.” She felt tears in her eyes again and blinked them away. “God, I feel so stupid. Even if he still wanted me I couldn’t have him.”
“Why not?” Nadiah stroked the moss green tharp absently, like one might stroke a cat.
Sophie sighed. “A lot of reasons. All of them seemed valid and important to begin with but now…now I’m beginning to wonder.”
“What reasons?” Nadiah asked.
Sophie sighed. “Well, at first I was afraid because I didn’t really know him and he’s such a big guy, uh, male. I…I was attacked by someone almost his size a long time ago and it never really left me.”
“Oh no.” Nadiah put a hand on her shoulder. “That’s terrible.”
“It was.” Sophie nodded. “I had a really hard time with it. But then I got to know Sylvan and I realized that he would never do that, never hurt me the way that other guy did.”
“Of course not!” Nadiah declared. “Sylvan is an honorable male. He would never attack a helpless female.”
“I know,” Sophie said. “And then he went after the guy who attacked me.”
“Well of course he did.” Nadiah put a hand on her hip. “That’s what Kindred do. They avenge any wrongs visited upon their females. Let me tell you, if any male around here had attacked a female or even spoken harshly to her and then she got bonded to a Kindred…” She shook her head. “He’d better move to a new grotto quick. Preferably one on the other side of the planet. Or he’s vranna meat—know what I mean?”
Sophie nodded. “I understand that now. But seeing the guy that attacked me brought everything back. It forced me to face what had happened in a way I never had before. And that made me upset—really upset. Because I didn’t want to face it. I just wanted to bury my head in the sand and forget it.”
“Are you still upset about it?” Nadiah asked quietly.
Sophie shook her head. “No. I realize now I should have dealt with it when it happened. Instead I tried not to think about it—it hurt less that way.”
“So if you’re not afraid of him and you’re not upset with him, then why aren’t you with him?” Nadiah asked. “Why aren’t you out dancing with Sylvan right now and showing Feenah that he’s taken?”
Sophie bit her lip. “Because I am still afraid of him. Well, part of him.”
Nadiah leaned forward and lowered her voice. “Is it his shaft? Is that what you’re afraid of? I mean, I’ve heard that the Kindred are really well endowed, so I can understand you being scared.”
Sophie felt her cheeks getting hot. “No, it’s not that. Although it is, uh, pretty impressive. It’s his fangs.”
“His fangs?” Nadiah sat back frowning. “Why are you scared of those?”
“Because he wants to bite me, of course. And I have a phobia of anything sharp that goes into a vein.” Sophie thought of her childhood blood transfusions and shivered. “I just…just don’t think I could let him. That horrible piercing pain…”
“But it doesn’t hurt!” Nadiah grabbed her hands. “It doesn’t, honestly—or only for a minute anyway and then it’s pure pleasure.”
Sophie frowned. “How would you know? Have you been bitten by a Blood Kindred?” She was pretty sure Zeelah would not approve of that.
“I wish.” Nadiah rolled her eyes. “But no, of course not. I know because it’s in all the novels. The heroine offers the hero—the Blood Kindred I mean—the gift of her blood. She bares her neck to him and he bites her. She feels just the tiniest little pinch of pain but then he immediately begins to inject her with his essence. After that it’s all pleasure.”
Sophie shook her head. “That sounds really nice but you can’t believe everything you read in books. Especially when it comes to, uh, sex.”
“In this case you can. I know someone who’s been bitten,” Nadiah said triumphantly. “Or I know her sister, anyway. And she said that her sister said the minute you feel the essence it’s absolutely incredible. In fact…” She dropped her voice and leaned in again. “She said the Blood Kindred’s essence is like an orgasm in liquid form. It’s that good.”
“Really?” Sophie didn’t know what to believe. It would be nice if she could count on the bite hurting only for an instant before turning into pure pleasure. But could she trust a second hand account from a teenaged girl, who had obviously read one too many romance novels?
“Really,” Nadiah said firmly. “So were there any other reasons you thought you couldn’t be with Sylvan?”
Sophie shook her head. “No, that was it. But look, Nadiah, even if Sylvan still wanted me and didn’t care about Feenah, I
don’t think he’d be willing to…to bond me to him. He doesn’t want to hurt me or cause me fear or pain and he thinks biting me would cause me both.”
“And would they?”
“I…I’m not sure anymore,” Sophie admitted. “But I just got finished telling him I hated him for not telling me about the tharp. And I pretty much told him I hated his entire planet too. Sorry…” She gave Nadiah a sidelong glance. “I didn’t mean it. I was just overwhelmed.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Nadiah said cheerfully. “I hate it here too. In fact, the minute I’m of age, I’m leaving. I’m going to get called by a Kindred warrior and fold space out of here so fast my parents won’t know what hit them.”
“You shouldn’t get married, er, bonded, just to get away,” Sophie said. “Can’t you, I don’t know…go away to college or something? Like a school that’s far from your home town…er, grotto?”
“Maybe.” Nadiah didn’t look too concerned. “Anyway, back to your problem. You think Sylvan wouldn’t bite you even if you asked him to?”
“I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t,” Sophie admitted. “He swore an oath to leave me alone.”
Nadiah made a shooing gesture. “Oh, all that foreswearing stuff is so stupid. He only said that because he thinks it will cause you pain. If you can convince him you’re not afraid of a little pain and you want him to bite you—”
“I do want him to,” Sophie said, lifting her chin. “I don’t care about the pain any more—I want him.”
“Well you’d better let him know in a hurry if you don’t want him biting Feenah instead.” Nadiah made a face. “Ugh, I can’t stand her. I’ll just die if I have to have her as a relative.”
Sophie smiled. “We can’t have that. Tell me how to make him bite me and help me get dressed for the dance. But I want to wear something that’s not alive this time. Okay?”
Nadiah clapped her hands. “Oh good! So you’re going after him?”
Sophie nodded. “If he still wants me after all the awful things I said to him.”