“And you feel too perfect to be real.” Lathering more bubbles, his large hands worked over my shoulders, under my arms, over my breasts, and down my belly.
“Kneel,” he ordered, pushing my body deeper into the water so I switched from floating to kneeling. “Turn to face me.”
There was something so erotic about following his curt commands.
Once I faced him, he rubbed the soap once again, then trailed his hand through the water to the curls between my legs.
I jolted as he washed me gently, the slipperiness of soap washed away by the river, leaving me so much wetter than before.
Never looking away from me, he spread me apart, then inserted two fingers inside me.
I froze and tightened and quaked and liquefied.
He might’ve only given me two fingers, but it felt like two pieces of his soul. Two pieces that Cassie had bemoaned she would never have. Two pieces that no one else would ever own.
Just me.
Only me.
My mouth fell wide as he sank deeper. He hooked his touch inside me, pressing, rubbing, igniting the fuse that would eventually explode into a toe-curling orgasm. He didn’t give me a moment to breathe, analyse, or decide if I wanted to fight back, submit, or melt into a puddle in his hand. All that mattered was I was his, and he was touching me in ways I’d always begged him to.
“Ren,” I breathed as he gathered me closer.
“Shush.” Never looking away from me, he studied my every twitch and sigh as if learning exactly what made me simmer.
And he found it with his thumb on my clit.
My back bowed, and a low moan spilled from me as he drove two fingers deeper.
He smiled, satisfaction glowing in his dark eyes. “You like that?”
“Uh huh.” I nodded with desire-lethargy, my head heavy and eyes struggling to focus.
“Good to know.” Pulling his touch from my body, he lathered yet more bubbles and dragged them over the sparse hair on his well-defined chest, swiftly washing himself before the soap disappeared to clean other areas.
I wobbled before him, shocked that he’d touched me so spectacularly, then acted as if nothing had happened.
“Oh, that’s just mean.” I pouted as ripples of pleasure still worked through my core, begging him to come back.
“It would be mean if I didn’t plan on doing more.” His hands finished washing, tossing the soap toward the shore. “But I do. An entire night of more.”
“I would’ve done that,” I said.
“What? Wash me?” He shook his head, jaw tight and eyes black. “Della, I’m seconds away from forcing you onto my lap. I couldn’t stand you washing me. I barely have any control left as it is.”
“I don’t care. It’s about time you let go of that lifetime of control. You just teased me. It’s only fair I tease you.” Wanting to make him as wound up as me, I pushed off the pebble-littered riverbed and floated onto his lap. “I need you, Ren.” Wrapping my arms around his shoulders, he was too slow to push me away.
My core connected to his cock, and we stiffened.
“You’re making me insane.” He growled around a cough.
“All you have to do is give in.” I ran my tongue around the shell of his ear, adoring the way he trembled. “You want me? Then take me. Right here.”
My heart thrummed as his possessive hands splayed over my back like panther paws—velvet and heavy with a touch of claw. “You’re a minx.”
“And you’re a martyr.” Pulling back a little, I kissed his cheek and chin and finally sought his lips. “Please, Ren. Just a tiny thrust and you’d be inside—”
His hands shot to my hips, angling me perfectly so the tip of him hovered over my entrance. “Such a demanding little thing.” He breathed as if he’d run for days, his eyes hotter than I’d ever seen. “Ruining all my plans.”
I didn’t know who made the first move—me with a quest of my hips or him with a probe of his, but somehow, we went from two people to the precipice of becoming one.
Nothing else mattered.
No other thoughts entered.
The world had vanished, and it was just us in our forest like always, on our own like forever, fighting the undying need to merge into one.
“You want this?” Ren strangled, slipping another inch inside me.
My forehead slammed to his wet, cool shoulder, unable to stop my teeth from latching into his skin. “Yes!”
“Goddammit, Della.” He surged deep. “Fuck, you feel incredible.”
Hard.
Fast.
Consuming.
My legs spread wider as my feet rubbed on pebbles and flotsam, not caring about anything but his hard length slamming inside me.
My hips rocked back, driving him deeper to that wondrous place.
“Don’t move,” he snapped.
Prickles of rejection kissed over my skin. “Why not?”
“Because I’m so fucking close to coming, and I forgot to put a condom on. You feel far too amazing bare.”
His fist wrapped in my hair, pulling my head back until he could meet my eyes. I expected him to kiss me hard, to drive into me harder, but his face blackened with self-control. “I can’t believe I broke that rule.”
“What rule?”
“Never have sex without protection.”
My shoulders fell. I knew enough from sexual education at school and what Ren had taught me that STIs were a big reason rubbers were important.
But we’d been safe with others. Surely, we could be free with each other. “You’re inside me. It’s already too late.”
He swore under his breath as I rocked on him.
“Stop, Della.” His hand landed heavily on my hip. “It’s never too late.” The hardness of him throbbed inside me, his heartbeat matching the thick craving of my own.
Pushing me, his length slipped out torturously slow. Once we were two people again, he burrowed his face into his hands and yelled into his palms. “Fuck!”
I gave him a moment, hating the separation but familiar enough with Ren to know he followed rules—especially ones that protected me—religiously.
He stood upright, and the river went from lapping around his shoulders to barely covering his proud erection. “Let’s get inside the tent. I’m assuming you have more condoms with you?”
I stood on lust-wobbly legs as Ren swept me into his arms. His eyes softened with regret. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment.”
“You didn’t.”
Kissing me softly, he whispered, “I’m just so terrified of hurting you. It would kill me, Little Ribbon. If I ever did anything to—”
“You won’t.” I wrapped my arms around him, sucking in a breath as he swung me into a horizontal position like a groom would his bride and carried me from the river. “You never will.”
Pressing his nose to mine, he chuckled. “You always manage to bring out the best and worst in me. One moment, I don’t care about anything but fucking you; the next, I want to lay you on a throne and pledge everything I can.” He carried me toward our bags with hardened feet used to walking on twigs and prickly things. “Being in love really is a disease.”
Placing me reverently by my backpack, I got my balance by clutching his biceps. “Love’s a disease?”
He nodded, brushing aside my wet hair and palming off excess droplets from the river. Even brusque, having his hands on me was pure cashmere and desire. “When I’m with you, I have the cure. I feel stronger, happier, invincible. But when I’m not, I feel as if life itself could delete me, and I wouldn’t care.”
The intensity of such a strong moment infected both of us, and our eyes locked with oaths and vows. “I’m never leaving you, Ren.”
“And I’m never walking away again. No matter what happens. We stick together.”
Our lips sought each other, sealing our promises with silky sweeps of our tongues.
The heat of our skin helped dry us a little, but we didn’t care about the rest as we
pulled apart and I bent to unzip my bag. The sound of the zipper in the gloom made Ren wince, his senses on high alert.
Dropping my hand into the dark rucksack, I rummaged for a second before pulling out a box.
A familiar box with a familiar note stuck to the top.
“What the—” Ren snatched it from my hands. Squinting to read in the final threads of light, his basic handwriting decorated the top: If you’re going to do things outside my control, please be safe. Use these. At all times. “Is-is this the box I bought you?”
My cheeks glowed pink. “Yes.”
“But…how?”
I could guess what ran through his head. How many condoms had I used? Had I replenished the box? Had I used David’s instead? I didn’t want him having those thoughts. He’d end up on the moral seesaw again, wondering if he was wrong in taking me. We were in such a good place and I refused to let anything from our past ruin that.
My heart hiccupped as Ren battled beneath his mental struggle, and I stole the box back, cracking it open to reveal a neat regimented row of foil wrapped condoms glinting in the gloom. There were too many to count quickly or guess how many were missing. But Ren wouldn’t need to guess. I would tell him.
“I only used two. Well, three, counting last night.” I kept my fingers locked tight on the box.
“What?” He coughed. “How is that possible? I saw you kissing Tom at the Halloween party. I’d seen how passionate you were. I lived with you, for God’s sake. As you slowly awakened to the idea of sex, it drove me mad every time you went out with your friends, not knowing what you were doing.”
My insides smarted for how much I’d hurt him over the years, but I stayed brave because I owed him this. I owed him an apology. “You’re forgetting that most of the time, I was in agony over you, Ren. I only used two; you have my word. One the night I lost my virginity, and one the night of my eighteenth birthday.” I didn’t want images of me sleeping with others in his head, but he needed to know the truth—that I wasn’t some harlot, even if I made him think I was.
I never looked away from him. He deserved to be able to read the honesty on my face, not just hear it. “Yes, I lost my virginity because I was messed up over you. But I chose not to have sex again because I wasn’t emotionally ready. I didn’t sleep with anyone until that second time on my birthday. And I didn’t do it because I wanted him. I did it because I wanted you.”
He sucked in a noisy breath.
“For months, I’d felt as if you were near. My missing you was at an all-time high. I never wanted to be with anyone else but you. I’m a terrible person for using David when I never stopped loving you.”
He made a sound as if I’d kicked him in the gut. “Della—”
“I don’t say any of this to be cruel, Ren.” I shook my head, wet strands clinging to my shoulders. “I’m telling you out of pure honesty because you never truly accepted that I could love you as much as you love me. You are my entire world. You ran because of me. And in some part of my mind, I’m worried you’ll run again if this is too much to accept.”
Sick, sick shame filled his face. “God, Della. You let me take you so roughly—you have cuts and bruises all over you—and it was only your third time?” He dug fingers into his hair. “Why didn’t you…I don’t know…?” He looked at me with pain and self-disgust. “I should’ve taken you gently. I should’ve remembered you are so youn—”
“If you call me young, we’ll have a problem.”
His lips thinned. “But it’s the truth. I raised you, for God’s sake. I should’ve been more careful.” Backing away, he wiped his mouth with a trembling hand. “I pushed you into losing your virginity by being an asshole, and I’m the reason you did it a second time by watching you instead of having the balls to admit I was back in town. I-I don’t know what to say.”
“I don’t want you to say anything. Words only get you into trouble.”
“But I should have—”
“What? Waited until we were in some motel and gone slow? Ren, I love you. But when you start second-guessing yourself, you’re really a pain in the ass, you know that?” Holding up the back of my arm where a pretty decent scratch had scabbed over, I said firmly, “I wear these with pride. Every second of last night was better than any fantasy I’ve ever had of you, and believe me, I’ve had a lot.”
A twisted half-smile decorated his face.
“I was only able to come because you gave me exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it. Your strength. Your aggression. I need that because all my life you’ve been strong and aggressive in keeping me safe, and somehow, I’ve come to associate that with you loving me. If you dare touch me with kitten gloves and feather kisses, I’ll just rile you up until you snap again.” I chuckled under my breath. “And we both know how easy I can spark your temper. Don’t make me prove it.”
He rolled his eyes, tension slipping down his spine. “I always knew you were trouble, Della Ribbon.”
“And I always knew you were it for me, Ren Wild.”
He closed the distance, tugging the ends of my dripping hair, his knuckles brushing my nipples. “How is it that you turned out like me when I did everything I could to prevent it?”
“How is it that you see that as a bad thing when it’s the best thing in the world?”
“It’s not a bad thing.” He gathered me close, one hand going between my shoulder blades and the other on the top of my bare ass. “It’s a miraculous thing. We’re so similar that I swear if I didn’t have memories of being sold that day, or vague images of my mother, I’d be terrified we were actually brother and sister, and Mclary was my father, too.”
I fake shuddered. “God, can you imagine it? A lifetime of lying about being siblings only to find out we actually are?”
His face darkened as troubling thoughts filled his gaze. Bringing me flush against his nakedness, he whispered against my ear, “Even if that were true, now I’ve had you, I wouldn’t be able to stop.”
Molten heat swelled between my legs.
“Now I’ve been inside you and found the girl of my dreams, I don’t care if our blood runs the same. We share the same heart anyway. I’d live in sin and go to hell because I literally could never give you up.” Ren tugged my hair, arching my neck so he could latch his lips and teeth onto my throat. “I thought I was sick before—wanting you after so many years between us—but I truly must be the devil if I can admit I would fight every law, rule, and enemy if they ever tried to take you away from me.”
His lips made their way to mine, planting firm. A swift, dominant tongue slipped into my mouth.
My knees gave out as I surrendered absolutely. In that second, I felt entirely like a girl and not a woman. I felt young and being kissed by a much older, braver, purer person than I could ever be.
“Ren…” I moaned against his lips as his hand trailed down my body, dipping between my legs and finding how wet I was.
He growled beneath his breath, driving two fingers inside me as he wrapped his arm around my hips, holding me steady.
“Tent, Ren.” I stumbled backward, wanting so much to continue what he was doing but quickly losing my eye sight to galaxies and shooting stars the longer he stroked me.
Ripping his fingers from me, he spun me around and pushed my back. “Get in.”
As I tripped forward, he stole the condom box from my hand, fisted a single one, and tossed the rest to the side.
Slick sweat sprouted over my skin, full of needle pricks of anticipation as I ducked under the awning, and Ren followed me inside, almost as if he were as dazed as me.
Our sleeping bags were unzipped and ready to cocoon us.
“Lie down, Della.”
Ren’s command was full of wood smoke and kindling. “Now.”
I had a physical reaction to him commanding me—a rippling squeeze of pure lust from my heart to my core.
Flopping onto my back, I looked up as he kneeled above me, his cock jutting out, his eyes wild as the feral cats we’d see
n stalking us for our scraps.
“Open your legs.” Ren sucked in a breath, biting his bottom lip when I did as he asked. He was as naked as a heaven-sent prince ready to corrupt me.
I didn’t care I was exposed to him. I didn’t care we hadn’t fully cleared the air. All I cared about was Ren and the clawing hunger rapidly filling the tent with hailing fury.
“What am I going to do with you, my dear Little Ribbon?” Opening the foil packet, he plucked out the slippery condom and, without tearing his gaze from mine, rolled it down his impressive length before squeezing the base and hissing between his teeth. “You’ve seen me at my worst, my sickest, my angriest, and my saddest. But you haven’t seen me when I’m so fucking hard I have no control.” Letting himself go, he crawled toward me, settled between my legs, and bowed until his mouth hovered just above my core.
Every muscle in my body locked.
He smiled; his lips swollen from prior kisses, and his jaw covered with dark stubble. “No one has because no one has pushed me as much as you do. I’m weak against you, Della.”
I licked my lips, loving his honesty. I was jealous of his past lovers, but I pitied them too because Ren never gave them what he was giving me. He wasn’t just giving me his body; he was giving me his life, heart, mind, breath, and soul. He was giving me everything, and I took, took, took. I took all of him because he’d already taken all of me.
“You made me,” I breathed. “I only exist because of you.”
“No, you exist because the universe knew a ten-year-old kid with nine fingers and hate in his heart was lonely.”
I cried out as his tongue licked me for the first time, stealing language, maths, history, and every other knowledge I possessed, leaving me empty apart from one thought. “Ren.”
“Enough talking.” His whipping whisper came just before his mouth sealed over me.
He didn’t ease me into this new sensation. He didn’t test and probe. He dined on me. He devoured me. He drove two fingers inside me all while his teeth nipped my clit, and the burning heat of his mouth never stopped.
I didn’t stand a chance.
I had no control over the typhoon swirling and building, sucking up debris, cleansing my heart from all its maybes and uncertainties and blowing them around, focusing the eye of the storm into my belly.