“And they have found her, haven’t they, my sssweet?” The red-black bubble floated over to Lauren who shivered and tightened her grip on Kat. “Sssoon,” the AllFather hissed at her. “Sssoon I will have you, my lovely. And you will bear me many, many daughtersss. And I ssshall have them too—until the entire Ssscourge race is replenished, ssstronger than we ever were before.”
Xairn wanted to kill him—to break through the fragile, glistening shell of the dravik and wring his neck, but he held himself in check grimly. Once released from the bubble of blood and power, his father would be a much greater threat. As it was, all he could do was issue orders for his rather stupid vat-grown guards to carry out. But if the bubble burst…Well, Xairn just hoped it wouldn’t until they were well clear of the Complex and on their way into space. In the mean time, he waited to see what his father would do next.
The AllFather drifted closer to Lauren and Kat. “Ssso beautiful,” he hissed, looking hungrily at Lauren. The sense of dread and horror in the room was almost palpable—the AllFather carried it with him wherever he went like a nauseating scent that permeated everything. Xairn could see that it affected both the human women but neither of them cried or panicked. Instead, Kat raised her chin and looked his father squarely in the eyes.
“Leave her alone.”
“Ah, thisss one hasss ssspirit.” Skeletal hands reached out from behind the bubble and Xairn knew if the wall of the dravik had not been in the way, his father would have caressed Kat’s cheek with his scabrous fingers.
Kat seemed to know it too because she flinched back, ever so slightly, but never broke eye contact. “You’re a sick, crazy bastard and you need to step back before I pop that weird blood balloon thingy you’re floating around in and you go down like a ton of bricks.”
The sense of gleeful lust radiating from the AllFather shifted subtly to irritation. “A bit too much ssspirit, it seemsss. And which of these is your mate?” He looked at Deep and Lock—both of whom were poised for a fight. Xairn knew that if his father came even an inch nearer their human female, they would spring and all would be lost.
“They both are,” he said, moving subtly to put himself between the AllFather and Kat, while still keeping his weapon trained on the Kindred. “I believe they are Twin Kindred.”
“Isss thisss ssso?” The AllFather looked at Deep who nodded shortly.
“It is. Which means both of us are ready to kill you if you so much as lay a finger on her.”
The bubble glided backward and Xairn breathed an inaudible sigh of relief. “I will not touch her,” the AllFather said, still staring at Deep. “But you will not, either. Ever again, my brave warriorsss.”
“What do you mean?” Lock asked.
“You ssshall sssee.” The AllFather nodded at Xairn. “Take them to the cutting lab and prepare the psychic-knife. And bring the girl.” He nodded at Lauren. “Ssshe ssshall watch as their bondsss are sssundered.”
Xairn nodded shortly. “Very well.” He looped an arm around Kat’s neck and waved his weapon at the warriors. “Do as my father says or your female will pay the price.”
Deep’s hands curled into fists and the pupils of his black eyes turned red. “Take your hands off her! Now.”
“I’ll release her when you do as you’re told.” Xairn kept his voice steady and hoped the dark twin would understand. “I believe I know what my father has in mind—you and your female are going to be taking a turn in the psychic-knife.”
Lock touched his brother’s arm. “Be calm,” he murmured. “He won’t hurt her as long as we do as he says.”
“Indeed.” The AllFather nodded within the dravik. “Listen to your twin and behave yourself, warrior. I may even let the three of you go once your bondsss are cut. The thought of having my own bride to breed makesss me feel almossst merciful.”
Xairn was sure the two Kindred would have fought to the death for their female—it was the Kindred way. His way too, he thought, looking at Lauren who was standing beside him shivering. But since a trip inside the psychic-knife was what they had come for in the first place, he was fairly certain they would play along. Up to a point. It was going to be up to Xairn to gauge when they should make their move—he only hoped they could do it before the slimy bubble of the dravik around the Allfather burst, releasing him in a state of supreme metal power.
“My guardsss and I will retire to the viewing area beside the lab.” His father’s hissing voice broke into his frantic train of thought. “The girl will come with usss. Alpha—take her.”
“That is not necessary.” Xairn struggled to keep his voice even as the huge vat-grown guard took Lauren’s slim shoulders in its huge hands. Gods, just seeing another male touching her was enough to send him over the edge! But he had to stay calm. “I have the situation in hand, Father. I do not need help.”
“Of course you do, my ssson.” The AllFather’s red eyes gleamed evilly. “And even if you do not, I feel better with the girl in my own cussstody. Alpha, come.”
Lauren threw a pleading glance over her shoulder as the huge guard marched her away. Xairn could do nothing but watch her go. The muscle in the side of his jaw clenched so hard he could feel his teeth grinding together and his grip on the shocker tightened until he was sure he was leaving fingerprints in the metal itself. He couldn’t even say anything to reassure her—though the AllFather had turned his back and was gliding into the cutting lab, he was still within earshot. Xairn felt like he was being torn in two as he watched her go but he nodded at Lauren as reassuringly as he could.
Trust me—I will keep my promise! Gods, how he wished he had a link with her—the same kind the Kindred were said to have with their bonded brides. Some way to communicate his true intentions other than just his eyes.
But Lauren seemed to understand him somehow. She nodded back and the look on her face became a little less desperate.
She trusts me, Xairn realized, feeling like someone had stabbed a thorn in his heart. Despite the hopelessness of the situation, she still trusts me.
As he watched her go, he swore to himself not to betray that trust.
Even if it meant his death.
Chapter Thirty-three
The huge blackish-red bubble that floated into the cutting lab through the open double doors reminded Kat of a spider’s egg sac. It was slimy and glistening and beyond its mostly opaque surface she could see the skeletal shape of the AllFather moving. It seemed to bulge as it moved, as though it might burst and vomit out some vile abomination at any moment. She just hoped they were far away by the time it popped.
In the mean time, it looked like she and Deep and Lock were going to have the soul bond between them cut after all. She felt her heart sink as they entered the lab and Xairn marched her up to the large silver drum of the psychic-knife. So this is it. This is how it ends between us. She felt tears threatening but she didn’t want to cry in front of the horrible AllFather.
He and three of his guards had mounted a small platform to one side of the room, separated from the rest of the lab by a low wall. It was like an observation area in a regular operating theater. Standing by the bottom steps of the platform were the huge guard the AllFather had called Alpha, and Lauren.
Lauren watched what was going on with uncertain amber eyes and Kat reflected that she had the same delicate bone structure as Liv and Sophie. She hoped with all her heart that they all made it back to the Mother ship for a family reunion. Already she was sure that her two best friends would love their new cousin.
“We are ready,” the AllFather called, breaking her train of thought. “Proceed with the cutting, my ssson.”
Xairn motioned to Lock. “Open the door of the mechanism and the two of you climb inside.”
The light twin did as he was told but Deep wasn’t so easy to persuade. “Send me Kat first. I want to know that she’s safe.”
“Very well. But if you try anything, she dies.” Xairn’s big hand tightened on her shoulder and he hissed in her ear, so softly she c
ould barely hear it, “Be ready to fight or flee the second you come out. The AllFather will be off his guard for only a moment. Tell your males.” Then he pushed her roughly forward with one hand, keeping his weapon trained on Deep with the other.
Kat knew it was just for show but she stumbled and would have fallen if Deep hadn’t caught her. “Come on.” He led her carefully up the steps to the door of the silver drum.
She allowed herself to be helped inside the dark, circular space and then she felt Lock’s hands on her, gentle and competent. Finding her way forward, she leaned against him and whispered in his ear, “Xairn says be ready to fight or run the minute this is over. He says the AllFather will be off guard, but only for a moment.”
She felt Lock nod. “I’ll let Deep know.”
“Let me know what?” Deep said in a low voice.
There was the soft growl of masculine voices in the dark, too low for Kat to hear, and then Lock positioned her against the curved wall and started buckling her in with some kind of safety harnesses. “What’s this?” Her voice echoed emptily in the hollow interior of the drum and she made an effort to lower it. “Why do we need to be strapped in?”
“Because among other factors, the psychic-knife uses centripetal force to cut the bonds between Kindred and their brides.” Deep was already strapping on his own harness.
“Seriously?” Kat gave him an incredulous look. “We traveled halfway across the galaxy to cut this damn bond when we could have just found a traveling fair back home and gone on the tilt-a-whirl? I mean, who needs the AllFather’s evil inventions when you’ve got an all day ride pass and a semi-sober carnie?”
“I said among other things,” Deep growled. “I would not be subjecting you to this if it wasn’t absolutely necessary.”
“But why?” Kat peered at him, trying to make out his features in the gloomy interior of the silver drum. “Why is this so important to you, Deep? Why do you hate me so much that you can’t stand even the thought of being tied to me?”
“I don’t hate you.” His deep voice was suddenly hoarse. “If I hated you, or cared for you even a little less, I wouldn’t hesitate to complete our bond, little Kat.”
“You told me you felt nothing,” she said, her voice trembling despite herself.
“I lied,” he whispered.
“Deep doesn’t hate you, my lady,” Lock said, sounding bitter. “He hates himself. And we all must pay for his self loathing.”
“I’m sorry,” Deep said in a soft, agonized voice. “Lock is right—forgive me for all I have put you through. But please don’t think any of it is because of you, my Kat. I bear this blame alone.”
For some reason his last words seemed to echo in her head. I bear this blame alone…I bear this blame alone…The words seemed important somehow, like something she had heard before and forgotten. Something she must remember…
And then the door slammed shut and the ride began.
It didn’t take Kat long to be glad she hadn’t eaten much for breakfast. Earlier that morning, Sophie and Liv had arrived at the docking bay yawning and bearing donuts. Despite the fact that she’d been tempted by a chocolate covered Bavarian crème and a jelly filled glazed donut, Kat had only accepted one plain one. And as the drum of the psychic knife lurched and began to spin, she knew that if she’d eaten more it would have come right up.
Kat loved scary rides but the psychic-knife soon attained a speed and force that put anything she’d ever experienced at any amusement park to shame. Flattened against the wall with her head pressed to the side, she struggled to breathe, her heart pounding frantically.
Oh God, I’ll never go on the tilt-a-whirl again if you just let me live through this. Hell, I’ll never even go on the merry-go-round. I could kill Deep for getting us into this. This is all his fault… And again his words echoed in her head. I bear this blame alone…What had he meant by that? When had she heard those words before? What…?
Suddenly a picture began to form in her head. Kat didn’t know if it was a side effect of the knife or just her mind’s desperate attempt to distract her from her fear. But whatever the reason, the vision was clear.
A doll on the bed…a life-sized doll with dull blonde hair and wide blue eyes. But not a doll—a girl and she’s dead! She’s dead! Deep kneeling by the bed, taking the blame, saying that it is all his fault, swearing that it will never happen again…
And then it all came back. The dream—I dreamed about the dead girl but it must be real, Kat realized. We were dream sharing again last night, just like we were when he took my pain. My God, this is why he wanted us to be separated. He was afraid he’d hurt me—ruin my life or kill me. That I’d die like that poor girl, Miranda, who took her own life rather than be with him. But what would make him think that? He ought to know by now I’m not the type to commit suicide…
Another thought flashed through her head. The memory of the way she’d almost died before Deep had taken her pain and Mother L’rin had cured her. And the way she’d fainted during the ceremony on Twin Moons while Deep was making love to her. Surely the sight of her limp body, her illness caused—so he must have believed—by him alone, had affected the dark twin. Could it be that Deep had somehow convinced himself she would die if he stayed with her? If he allowed their bond to become complete and permanent?
That must be it! Kat thought excitedly. That must be why he—
And then a pain like nothing she had ever felt before stabbed into her very soul.
Part of her was being removed—and not neatly and cleanly like a knife would cut it either. It felt like it was being pulled out like a tooth by a sadistic dentist with no Novocain. Psychic-knife my ass, she thought wretchedly. More like psychic-pliers. It occurred to her that the pain was on purpose—that the instrument they were in wasn’t meant to sever the bonds between a Kindred and his bride quickly and cleanly, but to draw the process out and make it even worse. Lock hadn’t called it a torture device for nothing—he’d been absolutely right.
As the pain grew, Kat moaned in agony. God it hurt! Hurt more than anything she’d ever felt in her life and the worst thing was, the pain wasn’t physical. It went deeper than that—into the very core of her being. The part that was being removed from her was something she needed—something she had to have to survive. It was like someone was cutting out a piece of her heart and she could feel every cruel stroke of the butcher’s dull knife. She writhed against the curving wall, feeling like she was being gutted and turned inside out like a fish. Feeling like she was going to die if it didn’t stop…
She wasn’t sure how long it went on but from the hoarse cries to either side of her, she could tell that Deep and Lock were experiencing the same thing. She longed to comfort them and to draw comfort from the feeling of their strong arms around her. But would she ever be able to touch them that way again? Would she ever—
And then, as suddenly as it had begun, everything was over. The pain ceased and the machine stopped spinning with a sickening jolt.
“Is…is it over?” Finding that she could move again, Kat raised a trembling hand to her head and then ran her fingers down the front of her body. Am I all right? All in one piece? It seemed like she must have some visible, tangible wound after going through such a horrible experience. But her seeking fingers didn’t feel anything sticky and warm—she wasn’t bleeding. At least not outwardly. She wondered about what was going on inside though. And what was going on with Deep and Lock? Instinctively, forgetting that their connection had been cut, she reached out for them, wanting to know how they were feeling. To reassure herself that they were both all right.
“My lady, are you well?” Lock asked in a low, trembling voice. Kat could feel the waves of tension and fear coming from him—pretty much what she was feeling herself.
“I…I think so,” she said. “Are you?”
“I will be, when we get out of here.”
“Deep?” Kat asked. “Are you okay?”
There was a low rustling sound. “
Yes,” he said at last. “I’m fine.”
“You bastard,” Lock said, addressing his brother. “You never said it would hurt like that. I’ve never experienced such pain. And to put the lady Kat through it too—you’re a monster.”
“I didn’t know.” Deep’s voice was hoarse, filled with horror and pain. “Forgive me—I thought with just a partial bond—”
He said something else but Kat didn’t catch it. She was too busy noticing that while she could hear the pain in his voice, she couldn’t feel any of it. Frantically, she tried harder, reaching out with the part of herself that had somehow grown during the time she and the twins had been bonded. But for all her seeking she encountered…nothing.
Oh my God, no…No! Kat knew in the past she would have been overjoyed not to feel Deep’s dark, negative emotions crowding her head, but now she felt only dismay and traumatic loss. It was as though she’d looked down and suddenly realized that someone had cut off one of her hands.
“Deep,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “What’s going on? I can feel Lock but when I try to reach you…”
“It’s the same for me.” Lock sounded, if anything, even more horrified than Kat. “I can feel you, my lady but when I reach for Deep…nothing.” She felt his terror—the sudden sense of loss, the realization that after a lifetime of being half of a whole, he was now just a half. “Brother,” he said, his deep voice shaking. “What…what have you done?”
“You don’t have to call me that anymore.” Deep’s tone was one of utter desolation. “You got your wish, Lock. Can’t you tell?”
“I don’t understand.” Kat yanked against her safety harness, trying to get free. If she couldn’t touch Deep with her mind, she needed to touch him with her hands. To make sure he was still there. She had the absurd but somehow compelling notion that he was a ghost now—something she could hear but would never be able to see again. I need to feel him under my hands, need to smell his skin, touch his hair…