“They’d have to leave the hotel.”
“So?”
“I’ll make sure that every paparazzo in Paris is waiting outside with their cameras ready.”
“You really have thought this through, haven’t you?” Kiki finally acknowledged.
“Does that mean Ananka might have sent the right girl to Paris after all?” Betty teased. “Are you trying to tell me you’re glad I got involved?”
“Yes.” Kiki grinned. “I am.”
“And are you going to start being nice to Marcel?”
“Don’t get carried away. I’ll think about it, okay?”
Before Betty could ask for a promise, she and Kiki were interrupted by the sound of a key slipping into the lock. There was no time to run to the bathroom or slide back under the bed. The door opened and Amelia Beauregard appeared with a hotel manager and a policeman behind her.
“This is her room,” Amelia Beauregard began to say before she realized it was occupied. “Miss Bent!” she exclaimed.
“Is this the young lady you reported missing?” the policeman inquired.
“I’m missing?” Betty asked.
“You’ve been gone for almost twenty-four hours!” Madame Beauregard exclaimed. “When I couldn’t reach you or Detective Fitzroy, I phoned the police. I told them you were lost in the catacombs.”
“I’m afraid there’s been a misunderstanding,” Betty informed the officer. “As you can see, I’m perfectly well.”
“I’m terribly sorry,” Amelia Beauregard told the policeman. “This is all extremely embarrassing.”
“Yes, Madame,” the hotel manager bluntly agreed. “I would imagine it is.”
“Precious time has been wasted,” the officer scolded the woman. “At this very moment, my colleagues are investigating terrible crimes that have been committed in the Paris catacombs—and you’ve had me hunting for an inconsiderate child?”
Amelia Beauregard merely nodded, too chagrined to speak. After the men stomped off, Betty attempted to break the ice.
“Madame Beauregard, I would like to introduce you to my friend Kiki Strike, otherwise known as Princess Katarina of Pokrovia.”
Rather than shake the woman’s hand, Kiki performed a perfect curtsy.
“How do you do, Princess Katarina,” Madame Beauregard said. “I read in the papers that you’ve been visiting France, but I had no idea you were friends with my young assistant. Are you the reason Miss Bent was so eager to travel to Paris?”
“Oui, Madame. And you must be the person who lied in order to get her here.”
Amelia Beauregard stiffened. “I apologize,” she said.
The apology sounded insincere to Kiki, but Betty happily accepted it. “I forgive you,” she said. “Though it was terrible of you to trick me. If you had asked for my help, I would have given it—especially after Detective Fitzroy told me you might not have much time left. I was very sorry to hear that you’re ill.”
“Ill? Wherever did he get that idea? I’m not ill, Miss Bent. I’m eighty-four years old. And I had no idea that Detective Fitzroy could be such a gossip.”
“He’s not a gossip. He is a very considerate man who wants nothing more than to make you happy. But I think you need someone to be honest with you for once. I don’t believe Gordon Grant’s body is in the catacombs. My friends in New York broke the code on the final message he wrote. Mr. Grant was writing to tell you that he was in love with another woman. Her name was Thyrza.”
It was like watching a statue be hit with a wrecking ball. Amelia Beauregard crumpled. Before she completely collapsed, Kiki helped her into a chair.
“I’m so sorry, Madame,” said Betty, crouching down by the headmistress’s side. “Maybe I was wrong, but I really thought you should know the truth.”
“The truth?” It was a different Amelia Beauregard who looked up at the girl. “The truth, Miss Bent, is that Thyrza had yet to be born when Gordon wrote that message.”
Chapter 34
Lili’s Revenge
NEW YORK: SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21
If you’re anything like me (and I hope you’re not), then you often feel like you’re stumbling through life like a tourist trapped in a pea-soup fog. And yet there have always been moments when the clouds have lifted, and I’m able to see the world with perfect clarity. Those brief glimpses usually help me locate the path I need to take. Occasionally, they send me running and screaming in a different direction. More often than not, I keep these revelations to myself. But I know other people experience such moments, because there happens to be a word for them: epiphany.
I think I can speak for four of my fellow Irregulars when I say that we all experienced an epiphany the night Amelia Beauregard called New York to tell me that Betty was missing. Suddenly, nothing else mattered aside from her safety. There was no more talk of Kaspar, cures, or purloined Prada shoes. We sat in silence amid the debris in Oona’s bedroom, our phones in our hands. We texted the French boy, we phoned the police, and we tried our best to contact the mysterious Darkness Dwellers. We cursed the speed of our Internet connections and our woeful attempts at French. Shortly after midnight, Oona was about to book tickets to Paris when we heard Iris gasp.
“Le Monde just published its morning edition online. Three men were arrested for murder in the catacombs last night. They were apprehended by a policeman named Philip Roche after their latest victim escaped. She’s identified only as a teenage American girl named Betty.”
“Why didn’t I go to Paris instead?” Oona lamented.
“Poor little Betty!” DeeDee moaned.
“I’ve got a brand-new device with Beauregard’s name on it,” Luz snarled.
I was about to join the pity party when I remembered Kaspar. Not his perfect cheekbones or winning smile. I remembered something wise he’d once told me. Something I’d almost forgotten. “I think we’re overlooking an important fact,” I announced. “Betty’s an Irregular. She’s come face-to-face with murderers before. And according to the paper, that American girl escaped.”
“Yeah, but …,” Luz started.
The time had come to take a stand. “I was the one who sent Betty to Paris. I take full responsibility, but I have a hunch it may turn out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.”
The four other Irregulars looked like they might break into tears or vomit in unison. But then Luz’s phone beeped. DeeDee’s buzzed. Iris’s tweeted. And mine played a few notes of the James Bond Theme.
“It’s from Betty!” Iris yelped.
“With Kiki. All is well. Everyone safe. Don’t believe what you read. Will call ASAP.”
When I finished scanning the text, I found four sets of eyes trained on me.
“You were right, Ananka,” Oona marveled. I appreciated the sentiment, but I wished she didn’t sound quite so surprised.
“So, what are we gonna do now?” Luz asked.
“Yeah, Ananka,” DeeDee chimed in. “What’s next?”
“Next?” It took a second to realize I’d finally earned the respect I’d been craving. “Well, I guess we should clean up this bedroom and get some sleep. We’ve got an evil twin to find in the morning.”
There aren’t many people for whom I’d have left the house that next morning. The temperature was downright Siberian, and the entire city was frozen solid. Long, sharp icicles dangled from the roof of Lili Liu’s lair. Someone inside was making a terrible racket while the Irregulars waited behind a pair of overflowing garbage cans for the shed’s occupant to emerge. We were cold and miserable, but we couldn’t believe our good luck. Extra Place had been our first stop on the hunt for Lili, and it looked as if we might not need to search any further.
My phone had been vibrating nonstop in my pocket. Betty had called twice during our stakeout, and as much as I wanted to hear her news, I hadn’t been able to answer.
“She sent a text this time,” I whispered to the other Irregulars. “She needs to speak to me right away.”
“Ten minute
s,” Oona pleaded. “If we miss Lili now, we’ll never catch her again.”
“She’s out,” DeeDee said. Dressed in her fur coat and stiletto-heeled boots, Lili was lugging a suitcase.
“Going somewhere?” Oona stepped out from behind the trashcans and grabbed her sister by the arm.
“Get your filthy hands off me or I’ll scream,” Lili growled.
“Go for it,” sneered Oona. “We were going to take you to the police anyway, but I was hoping you’d like to meet a friend of mine first.”
The five of us led Lili out of the alley. I suppose we should have expected more of a struggle. I know Luz was looking forward to an altercation, but Lili never attempted to escape as we walked all the way to Fat Frankie’s diner.
The Irregulars slid into our regular booth. Less than a minute later, Fat Frankie stomped out of the kitchen with a chicken carcass clutched in one giant hand and a bloody meat cleaver in the other.
“Here he comes,” Oona muttered.
“That’s your friend?” Lili snickered. “I had no idea you’d discovered the missing link.”
“Shut up!” There was murder in Oona’s eyes. No one made fun of Fat Frankie in Oona’s presence.
The diner’s owner towered over our table. “I thought I told you …” Then the man stopped, his eyes flicking back and forth between Oona and her double.
“Hiya, Frankie,” Oona said. “I brought my sister to say hello. She wants to pay you for all those meals she stole.” Oona reached across the table and snatched Lili’s purse. “What do you say—will a couple hundred cover the food and a mind-blowing tip?”
“So it wasn’t you I saw on the security tapes?” Frankie began to reach for the bills Oona had pilfered from her sister’s wallet before he realized both of his hands were already filled.
“Nope.”
I’d never seen someone Frankie’s size look quite so stricken. “Oona. I’m sorry. I don’t know what I …”
“I don’t need an apology,” Oona told him. “How were you supposed to know I had an evil twin? We’ve been friends for years, and I figure I still owe you for a few dozen hamburgers. So what do you say we just call it even?”
“That’s not enough.” Frankie set six menus down on the table. “Order up, girls. It’s on the house today.”
Oona took the offer as a challenge. “Go ahead, Frankie. Give us free food. I’ll just have to leave the biggest tip your waiters have ever seen.” She pulled several more bills out of Lili’s wallet and slapped them down on the table.
Frankie chuckled. “You win,” he told Oona. “As usual. I sure have missed you.”
“D’you hear the man, Lili?” Oona asked Lili as Frankie shuffled away. “I always win.”
“My name isn’t Lili. It’s not even Lillian. That’s just what our father likes to call me. For your information, my real name is Imelda.”
“Whatever, Lili. What did you do with my stuff?”
“I sold it.”
“Where?” Luz leaned until her lips were only millimeters from Lili’s right ear.
“I’m sorry, who are you?” Lili glanced briefly at the girl sitting next to her. “And why are you dressed like some kind of grease monkey?”
“Luz is my friend, and you’ll show her the respect she deserves!” Oona growled.
“Or what?” Lili replied.
“You think I won’t beat you up just because you’re my sister?”
“Half sister,” Lili corrected.
“I told you guys they weren’t identical twins,” DeeDee muttered.
“My mother was an heiress. Yours was some pathetic little peasant,” Lili said.
I grabbed Oona’s left arm and DeeDee held on to her right. It took all the strength we could muster to keep Oona from hurling herself over the table at Lili.
“But you share the same father!” Iris still held out hope the family feud could end with hugs and kisses. “That means you have a lot in common.”
“We have nothing in common,” Lili said. “I inherited a fortune when my mother died. I’ve gone to the best schools in Europe. I graduated with top honors from L’Institut Beauregard in Rougemont. My friends are all either rich or royal. I am nothing like the girl who calls herself Oona Wong. I might as well belong to a different species.”
“And yet you’ve been living in a maintenance shed on Extra Place,” I noted.
“Certainly. Just to prove I could do it. You know, I never even knew I had a father until six months ago. Then one day, out of the blue, Lester Liu shows up at my school to claim me. He says he’s been searching the whole wide world for me. I guess I must have been temporarily insane, because I bought his story for a couple of weeks. Until I realized that all he ever talked about was his other daughter. The brilliant one. The criminal mastermind. The one who’d tried to send him to jail. He treated me like a stupid little lapdog, but he actually respected you.”
“Respected me? Lester Liu tried to murder me!” Oona nearly shouted.
“And you survived. Our father may hate you, but I bet he’s more proud of you than ever. I actually wanted a father. I even stayed in New York after he was arrested. I requested permission to visit him in jail, but his lawyer told me not to bother. He said Lester Liu had no use for a soft, spoiled girl like me.”
“Is that when you started harassing Oona?” Iris asked.
Lili didn’t bother to look at Iris. She kept her eyes on her sister. “No, at first I just watched her. I couldn’t figure out what was so special about her. So what if she’d eaten out of trashcans as a kid? Or broken a million laws before turning twelve? Or made her own fortune by the age of fifteen? None of that made Oona any better than me. I could do the same things if I wanted to. So I decided to prove it. And look who outmaneuvered the criminal mastermind. Everyone in Chinatown thinks Oona’s a thief. All of her prized possessions have been stolen and sold. I’ve won the game, and now it’s time for me to go home.”
“Wow,” DeeDee marveled. “You really are Lester Liu’s daughter.”
“I don’t want to be anyone’s daughter,” Lili announced. “Or anyone’s sister. I learned that lesson the hard way.”
“Well, I think I’ve heard enough for now,” I announced, slapping my palms down on the table. “We’ve got a lot of work ahead of us today. First, we need to introduce Lili to all of the shop and restaurant owners she’s victimized. Then we’ve got to take her to the police so she can give them her full confession. You guys want to get started? I need to give Betty a call.”
“That all sounds like fun,” Lili said. “But I’m afraid I can’t stay. I’ve got a plane to catch.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Luz snorted.
“Not at all,” Lili replied. “But don’t worry, you may still get a chance to visit the police today.” She lifted her arm and waved to someone sitting at the counter toward the front of the restaurant. A woman rose and began to stroll toward us, a broad smile on her face. My stomach turned sour the moment I recognized her. It was Faye Durkin, Senior Vice President of Fem-Tex Pharmaceuticals.
“Are you ready for me, Miss Liu?” Faye asked.
“Yes,” Lili said. “I think I’ve said everything I need to say to these ladies.”
“What’s going on?” Oona demanded. “How do you two know each other?”
“It’s such a funny story,” Lili said with a giggle. “I was following you, and Ms. Durkin was watching your chemist friend. We literally bumped into each other a couple of days ago.”
Faye Durkin chuckled at the memory. “I mistook Miss Liu for a young lady who’d recently threatened me. She set me straight, of course, and then we put our heads together and planned this little party.”
“You planned this?” Iris asked.
“That’s right,” Lili said. “I knew Oona would come looking, so I let her find me. I wanted to have a quick chat with my sister before I left for the airport. Now I must go.” She turned to Luz. “Would you mind sliding out of the booth so I can be on my way?” br />
“Keep still, Lili. You’re not going anywhere,” I snarled.
“I appreciate the invitation, but there’s really no need for me to stay,” Lili said. “I’ve already seen the video Ms. Durkin is about to share with you.”
“It’s some very interesting footage from a security camera near Bryant Park,” Ms. Durkin said, brandishing an iPhone. “It shows a girl slashing four tires on a black Mercedes-Benz.”
For a second, I worried that Luz might faint. Her face was as green as her jumpsuit.
“I consulted a few acquaintances who work for the juvenile justice system,” Faye Durkin continued. “It seems Miss Lopez is currently on probation. If she were convicted of a crime of this magnitude, she might be facing as much as a year behind bars.”
“Oooh, such a thrilling story!” Lili exclaimed. “I’m so sorry I won’t have a chance to see how it ends!”
“You’re not leaving this booth, Lili.” Luz refused to budge. “You aren’t getting away with any of this. You’re going to pay for what you’ve done to Oona. Even if it means I could end up being your cellmate.”
For the first time, I saw a flicker of concern in Lili Liu’s cold, calculating eyes.
“You’d really go to jail, Luz?” Oona asked. “Just to help me?”
“Hell, yeah!” Luz exclaimed, offended that she’d even been asked.
“Then please, let Lili go,” Oona requested.
“What? No!” Luz insisted. “Absolutely not!”
“Yes, Luz,” Oona replied calmly. “If Lili doesn’t want a sister, that’s fine. Because I already have six. I don’t care what happens to that little she-devil sitting across the table—but I do care what happens to you. Now, Ms. Durkin. What would you want in exchange for that video?”
“Do you even need to ask?” Faye Durkin replied. “I want Miss Morlock’s cure.”
Chapter 35
The Wildest Girl in Manhattan
Whenever I found myself alone in Principal Wickham’s office, I always examined the walls. It may have looked like I was admiring the photo gallery of Theodora Wickham’s former protégés. But in fact, I was searching for evidence that a pull-down bed was hidden somewhere inside the wood paneling. There had to be one, I figured, because Principal Wickham rarely seemed to leave the school. Most of my fellow classmates were convinced that the principal spent her evenings and weekends watching footage from security cameras that were said to be hidden inside every classroom. They didn’t understand that after fifty years at Atalanta, the principal’s office was her home. And the girls in the photos that covered the walls were Theodora Wickham’s family.