Lennox chuckled and threw out something about Grayson’s job at a financial firm. But I was still stuck on the word “suit.” Was that what I was?
It felt like more of an insult than it should have.
Lennox and Grayson continued to exchange insults while I tried to work through my personal issues.
A car sped into the lot, breaking me out of my misery. Ellie’s Impreza zoomed through the lot like she was a drunk NASCAR driver and slammed into a parking spot barely an inch from the curb.
All three of us stopped to watch my sister risk the life of her beloved with her bad driving. Somebody should confiscate her keys.
Fin stumbled from the passenger’s seat looking green and grim. He saw all of us standing there, and his expression darkened. “Which one of you taught her how to drive?” he demanded on a whisper yell since she hadn’t gotten out of the car yet.
We all pointed at each other.
Ellie’s driving was truly spectacular. Spectacularly awful.
But my brothers and I were all happy someone else had to worry about her now. It took some of the responsibility off us. Also, we didn’t drive with her often, so Fin could navigate the rocky waters of helpful suggestions and watching my sister turn into a defensive Rottweiler when she thought you were attacking her driving skills.
Ellie extricated herself from the car and waved at us, completely oblivious to Fin’s near death experience at her hands. “What are you guys doing out here? Where are Mom and Dad?”
Fin held out his hand for Ellie, and she took it, letting him lead her across the lot to us. “They’re inside,” Lennox explained. “And probably irritated we’re making them wait.”
“If Ellie’s here,” Grayson added, “They’ve been waiting for a while.”
Grayson and Fin shook hands, greeting each other familiarly. They were friends of a sort, but mostly business partners until Ellie and Fin’s relationship turned them into almost-family. Fin and I had graduated last year together, but we had always run in different circles.
He had been part of the track crowd, whereas I stuck close to the baseball fellowship. Having seasons at the same time, I had never seen him compete, and I was sure he could say the same about me. Although, I was sure he had heard rumors of my godlike status. Because good grief, I’d heard enough about him.
And we both knew I was the superior athlete.
Or, at least I knew that.
Ellie leaned up on her toes to give Lennox and then Grayson a kiss on the cheek. She hugged me without the fanfare. Which I appreciated. “Hey, Becks.”
“I was hoping you were going to bring a different date tonight,” I told her.
She pulled back and gave me a confused look.
“Of the female variety.”
Her mouth broke out into a wide grin. “Britte, you mean?”
I nodded. “Obviously.”
“She’s studying tonight,” Ellie explained.
Fin jumped in, “With Jameson.”
Let the record show that I was not, nor had I ever been, jealous of Jameson McKay. I knew Britte was into me. I had known it for a long time now. And besides that, I had been gone all summer. If Britte had wanted to hook up with McKay, she would have.
But she didn’t.
So McKay could drool over her all he wanted, but Britte wasn’t going to notice.
However, Fin Hunter throwing it in my face was not how I wanted to spend my evening. “I know what Britte’s doing right now.” I held his gaze. “And what she’ll be doing later.”
Fin tilted his head in acknowledgment while Ellie groaned, “Ew. Gross.”
Grayson shoved me in the shoulder to keep the peace, and we all moved inside my family’s favorite restaurant, The Freighthouse. My parents came to dinner in La Crosse once a month, and all of the children were expected to gather. Except for Lennox, who occasionally got out of it when he was out of the country.
But my parents usually tried to schedule their visit while he was in town.
It was one of the few times, outside of major holidays, that we were all together. And it was both nice and awful. As family usually is.
We found our parents in the back of the restaurant at our usual table big enough to fit the seven of us comfortably. They stood up as soon as they saw us and when we reached the table, the hugging commenced.
“Hey, Cecelia,” I greeted when my mom pulled me into a tight hug. “How have you been?” I always called my parents by their first names because it drove my siblings crazy. My parents didn’t care either way, they knew I loved them. But it really got under the rest of their skin.
Which was my main goal in life.
“Beckett,” my mother whispered softly against my cheek. “My baby boy.”
It would have been embarrassing had she said it loud enough for anyone else to hear. But my mom knew how to keep her affection discreet. Besides, it was how she’d hugged me for as long as I could remember.
Well, I was technically her youngest son…
I pulled back, and my dad stood there with his hand already stretched out. His expression was filled with proud happiness, and I felt a little intimidated by the look in his eyes. “How’s the future of marketing?”
A lump formed in my throat, and I had to cough into my elbow before I could speak words. “If I’m the future, marketing is in trouble.”
Lennox let out a deep laugh while my dad and I shook hands. “He’s got a long way to go, Dad. His internship is off to a rocky start.”
I sat down and busied myself with taking a drink of water. The rest of the family finally followed suit. Grayson sat to my right and Ellie sat to my left. My parents settled across from me with Fin and Lennox on the ends.
“What’s wrong with your internship?” Drake asked immediately. He unrolled his napkin and put it on his lap even before we’d ordered. His happy expression dwindled to intense concern.
“Nothing’s wrong with it,” I answered immediately. “It’s a little difficult to manage with grad school right now, but I’m getting the hang of it.”
I felt Lennox’s glare, but I refused to look at him. He knew there was more going on in my life than school. But he had yet to uncover what it was, and I wanted to keep it that way.
“You’ve never struggled to manage your commitments before,” Drake pressed.
Ellie saved me by leaning in with a sly smile. “He’s got a girl now. That’s the real problem.”
I gave her a side eye. “I thought you approved?”
She winked at me. “Not if it’s interfering with work and school.”
The devil woman had thrown me under the bus. “It’s not! She’s not!”
Ellie’s look of disapproval was Oscar-worthy.
“Is this the girl that’s into magic?” Grayson asked.
Lennox snapped his fingers and added, “The one that wanted to file the restraining order?”
Holy shit. I wanted to kill each and every one of them.
Or at least pretend like they didn’t exist.
Fin had to take a drink of water to hide his smile. Bastard.
All of them were bastards.
I turned to face my parents, ready to explain, but their matching looks of disgusted horror temporarily erased all the words from my brain.
“Why do you think she’s into magic?” Ellie asked Grayson, leaning around me so she could see him. “Oh, is it because of that one slutty Halloween costume she had? That was a phase. She’s been over that for like…” Ellie held up her hand and wiggled her fingers as she counted. “Well, since last Halloween.”
“So, she’s a slutty magician?” Grayson laughed. “Even better.”
Abruptly feeling the need to defend Britte, I announced. “She’s not slutty! And for god’s sake, she’s not a magician.”
“Beckett, are you sure you’re okay?” Cecelia leaned forward and grabbed my hand from across the table. “Is there anything we can do to help? Are you lonely? Do you remember Danielle from the club? She has a nie
ce that’s about your age. A really good girl. She’s at Northwestern. We’ve talked about setting you two up before. If you’d like me to make the call, I can. Wouldn’t a blind date be nice?”
My father was quick to intercede, “No, Cec. If he’s having trouble with his internship, a girl is the last thing he needs.” He turned to me. “You need to focus, son. There will be plenty of time for girls later. Right now you need to keep your eyes on the prize and do your best to impress Lennox’s senior partners. Then there will be girls. Get a job like that then think about all the girls.”
“Drake!” my mother exclaimed.
“He’s right,” Lennox agreed with a stupid grin on his face.
I just rolled my eyes because I knew my brother’s dating life was less than exciting. Part of it was because he was out of the country half of every month. And the other part was because he was an idiot.
“The girl is, Britte,” I blurted just to end the insanity. “Ellie’s roommate. You guys know her. You all know her. And she’s not slutty or into magic. Enough with the magic,” I warned pointing at Grayson, who was smirking at me.
My brothers and sister snickered at my expense while my parents sat there stunned, trying to make sense of my admission.
Finally, my mother said, “I like Britte.”
“I like Britte too,” my dad added. “Pre-med, right?” Ellie confirmed that she was. My dad’s eyes settled on me seriously. “She’s too good for you, isn’t she?” His teasing smile lightened his words, but not by much.
“She really is,” I agreed. And she was way too good for my crazy family. For the first time all night, I was glad she hadn’t come because that meant she was saved from this.
“You should have invited her to dinner,” my mother scolded. “She’s always been welcome, but now this is exciting.”
“She had to study,” I answered. “She’s getting ready for midterms.”
“Now there’s a focused girl.” My dad’s voice boomed with pride for someone he hardly knew. “Maybe she’ll rub off on you.”
Before we could go any further down that trail, I turned to Fin, the sacrificial lamb. “How’s med school for you, Fin? Are you focused? Have you rubbed off on my sister yet? Tell us all about how you’ve rubbed off on Ellie.”
I only caught his glare for a second until the entire family turned toward Fin. My parents immediately launched into an entire spectrum of questions for Fin about his life and school and family and future and whatever else they could think up. Ellie held his hand supportively while he tried to answer them the best he could.
My brothers added to the interrogation with their brilliant remarks and follow up questions. And I finally took a breath of relief now that the attention was off me.
I was fine with announcing the news about Britte tonight. That was enough to let them know something was going on in my life. But tonight had confirmed my silence on the coaching gig. My father would hate the entire idea. He would consider me as unfocused and immature as always.
He would never understand how I could even consider giving up the opportunity Lennox had opened up for me.
The coaching job would have to remain a secret for now.
I’d just have to try harder at managing everything in my life, so Lennox didn’t figure out there was something permanent happening outside of the internship. And so my parents didn’t get concerned enough to do some digging on their own.
When the waitress dropped off the check, Ellie leaned in and whispered, “Payback’s a bitch.”
“I hate you, little sister.”
Her elbow found my kidneys, and I jumped. “Liar,” she accused. “You love me.”
“Maybe,” I agreed. “But next time I say we take out Grayson and Lennox together. Let’s join forces. With our powers combined, we could kick both their asses.”
She sounded more than a little maniacal when she murmured, “An alliance. I like it.”
I balled my hand into a fist under the table, and Ellie bumped it in solidarity. “Till next time.”
“Till next time,” I agreed.
Chapter Fourteen
Britte
Friday night.
I was twenty-one on a Friday night, living on my own with almost zero real responsibilities other than school. It should have been the wildest night of the week, right?
I should be out partying and drinking until I see two of everything and my heels no longer hurt and dancing and eating late night MacDonalds and doing all the things my peers were doing.
Instead, I had a Microbiology textbook that weighed half of me open on my lap and a six pack of Red Bull on the coffee table in front of me. This was my crazy night.
Hoping I could stay awake to make it through six chapters of review.
Ellie was at Fin’s all weekend, so that gave me the apartment to myself. Not that Ellie usually bothered me while I was studying. But this was thirty-six hours of uninterrupted time that I planned to study the shit out of.
Except when I had to work tomorrow and Sunday. But all of the other hours and minutes were completely dedicated to not failing midterms.
Ready, set… Go!
I picked up my pen and notebook and read the first sentence.
Then my cell phone rang.
Of course, it did.
Letting out an exasperated, but also slightly relieved sigh¸ I picked it up and was surprised to see my dad’s name and number flash across the screen.
Dedicated texter, remember?
“Hey, Dad,” I greeted when my phone was at my ear. “Hot date tonight? Don’t wear the baby blue golf polo. It makes you look like you have man boobs.”
His answering pause made me smile. “You think I have man boobs?”
“Only in that polo.”
He cleared his throat. “Noted.”
“So who’s the lucky woman? Is it Darla from church? Or Shannon from the BBQ place you like?”
“What? It’s neither of them.”
“So who’s the lucky lady?”
“Britte, you’ve gotten me completely off track. There is no woman or date or blue polo.”
My smile softened. I loved flustering my dad, and I thought he should start dating again. She-who-will-not-be-named had done an incredible number on the poor guy. He’d never recovered his confidence in the dating realm. Or with women in general.
In fact, my entire life, he’d done nothing but avoid the entire female species completely.
Except for me.
And could you blame him? When a woman tells you that you’re not a good provider and she doesn’t want the life you’ve given her, it pretty much screws up your entire sense of self-worth.
And because of that, I hated my mom twice over. Once for what she did to me and how she left me. But also for what she did to my dad and the way she treated him.
Our life might not have been good enough for her, but it was more than good enough for me.
“All right,” I told him. “I’ll let it go this time. But Shannon really has a thing for you. She doesn’t give anyone else extra cornbread. She saves that especially for you.”
His low chuckle lifted my spirits. “You’re crazy, child. You know that?”
“I’ve had two Red Bulls tonight. I’m a little wired.”
His tone immediately took on concern, “Be careful, honey. I know you’re working hard, but you don’t need to kill yourself.”
“I’ve got midterms next week. If studying doesn’t kill me, testing will.”
“You’ve always gotten so nervous when you have tests coming up. I remember when you were in sixth grade, and you had this history test. I kept finding you trying to study in the middle of the night. I’d wake up to go to the bathroom and your light would be on and all your papers spread around you. And there you’d be, right in the center of your bed, sleeping on a textbook.”
“I’m not a good test taker,” I reminded him.
“You are,” he insisted. “You just need to relax. Don’t be quite so har
d on yourself.”
Tears misted in my eyes for no good reason. “Thank you, daddy. I’ll try.”
There was a short pause in the conversation, and then he cleared his throat again before he spoke. “Speaking of trying, have you considered our last conversation?”
I played dumb. “What do you mean?”
“I mean about your mother. Have you thought about talking to her? She’d like to see you.”
“Now she wants to see me? I thought this was just an over the phone kind of ordeal. Can’t she text me?”
“Good God, girl. No! Your generation, I swear. She wants to hear your voice. What she wants is to see you. But she understands that you might want to take things slow.”
“How much have you talked to her?”
Another throat clear. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, you seem to know everything she’s thinking. So I’m wondering if she gave you the same speech?”
“Britte Ann, that’s enough of that.” And just like that the tone of his voice took me back to being eight years old. He could be the most wonderful man in the world. And the firmest, no-nonsense parent in the world too. “She is your mother. And she was my wife. So yes, when she asked to see me and talk about what happened between us, I agreed. And I listened. Because that was a long time ago, and I’ve moved on. Because I’m a mature adult that can have a mature conversation despite whatever hurt has passed between us.”
Ouch.
This was just like the speech I got when I ran out of gas when I was sixteen. And the time I let my eighth grade best friend cheat off me in science. My dad had patience forever, until he didn’t.
Then he was a hardass that was going to lay it out for me whether I wanted to hear it or not.
“It’s not the same for me,” I insisted. “She left you when you were an adult. You were old enough to process it and decide to move on. I was just a kid. When she left me, I didn’t know what to do or how to feel or how to move on. I had to grow up without a mother because of her selfishness because she couldn’t face the reality of being a grown up. She was a thirty something old woman and couldn’t do the responsible thing. So she abandoned her family and forced her kid to be and do what she couldn’t. I’m glad you have some kind of closure, dad. I’m glad that you moved on and can tolerate the woman that shattered our lives. But I’m not there yet. I don’t know if I’ll ever be there.”