“He’s not so bad.” Jameson’s declaration shocked me. “He’s actually a pretty nice guy. Especially now that baseball’s over.”
My mind refused to make sense of this information. I tried, I really tried. But since when were the two of them friends? “Wait…you like Beckett?”
“Well, don’t say it like I’m the one trying to date him.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m just surprised to hear you stick up for him.”
He shifted uncomfortably. “I’m not trying to stick up for him. I’m just saying he’s not that bad of a guy. I mean…I know he’s going after you bad right now. I just think…maybe, don’t be so hard on him.”
I wanted to gape at him, but I forced my face to remain cool. “You think I should give him a chance?”
Jameson shrugged. “He’s your best friend’s brother. You trust Ellie. I don’t think they’re so different.”
Smiling at him to soften my words, I teased, “You’re crazy.”
He chuckled and opened his notebook. “Maybe.”
“Probably.”
He met my gaze again and held it, “Probably.”
We fell silent for a few minutes while my mind whirled with his thoughts on Beckett. They were shocking in and of themselves because Beckett and him were not exactly friends. But even more than that, it was his blessing to date Beckett. And not him.
If I had thought there was anything between us, I was wrong. And I didn’t know how I felt about that.
No. That was wrong. If I let myself be honest, if I listened to whatever crazy voice lived inside me, I knew I was okay with that.
Which was a weird feeling.
I had been pursuing this Jameson thing for months. Okay, kind of pursuing him. Gently pursuing him. On paper, he was my number one choice.
Why didn’t it feel like I’d just lost my number one choice?
His voice broke through my thoughts. “Well, should we get started?”
I nodded, unable to speak for a second. And when the words finally came out they were weak and soft. “Yeah, let’s do this.”
“Hey, Britte?”
I turned to Jameson. He smiled softly at me. I couldn’t work up a smile. I just stared at him.
“You’re a catch, yeah? You could have any guy you want.”
I licked dry lips. I didn’t know what to make of that either. “Thanks, Jameson.”
He nodded once. “Okay, now we work.”
“Now we work.”
And we did. We got down to it. Jameson and I studied well together. We laughed and joked around like usual. He explained a few things to me, and I did the same for him.
The whole time we studied, I tried to work up the energy to flirt with him or at least feel flirty. But it just wasn’t there. I couldn’t force my logic and reason into emotion. It was frustrating and irritating. And I realized I was beyond hope.
He was hot and single and at the top of my list! And still, I only found him attractive in this sort of clinical way. Objectively I knew he had a muscled, athletic body; his smiles made me smile, and I couldn’t help but notice how handsome he was.
But his looks didn’t do anything for me. They didn’t make me warm or too hot or like I couldn’t breathe right around him. His jokes and teasing made me laugh, but I didn’t think about them later… analyze his words and nuances and touch.
Jameson was this fantastic guy that should be everything I wanted. And yet, my brain and body were at war. My brain said yes! And my body shrugged and said, meh.
I blamed Beckett.
This was his fault somehow.
He had done something to me. Or put a spell on me. Or ruined my mojo.
I had to figure this Beckett shit out and fast, or I was going to be doomed to bad relationships for the rest of my life.
I refused that. I refused that future. I would rather be celibate. For real.
And the worst part was that I was still a virgin! I would die a virgin.
This was not a test. This was my freaking life.
Ugh.
Maybe I just had to get Beckett out of my system. Maybe he was an itch that needed to be scratched. Again.
For the third time.
And then it would be over. Then I could go back to focusing on viable options and real marriage candidates.
Then I could analyze my future with a clear head and rational heart.
Because that was how this whole love thing worked, right?
Sure.
Right.
Chapter Seven
Beckett
When she finally texted earlier this afternoon, I had almost given up.
Almost. But not quite.
Call me the perpetual optimist, but deep down I knew she would come around.
Or at least that was what I was telling myself now that she’d texted. Not that it was an encouraging text.
Fine, Beckett. Thai tonight.
She was starting to give me a complex. It was like I was forcing her into this date. Part of me liked the challenge. Liked that she wasn’t easy or compliant. I liked that she had a bite.
But I also liked my ego. And it was hard to pursue her without taking a few hits.
Nevertheless, I was indomitable.
Or at least that was what I used to tell myself before games.
Indomitable.
Resilient.
Resolute.
This was just like a big game. I was even a little sweaty. Yeesh, pull it together, Harris.
I had planned to go to her apartment door to pick her up, but when I pulled up, she was already waiting for me on the stoop. She stood when I pulled up, and I forgot all my reservations.
God, she was beautiful.
Her short skirt revealed long, toned legs, ending in little ankle boots that were sexy for no other reason than they were on Britte’s feet. Her top wasn’t tight or too revealing, but it had her style that I liked so much. Like hippie, but more trendy or something. What the hell did I know about girls’ fashion? I couldn’t explain it; I just knew it looked hot.
She looked hot.
Her hair was down and wild around her shoulders. She carried a purse and a sweater. And her makeup was just as funky as always. Bright green around her eyes that made them glow in the twilight sky.
I jumped from the driver’s seat of my Charger and met her at the passenger door. “Hey.”
She looked up at me from her curtain of dark hair and blinked. “Hey back.”
“I’m glad you texted.”
Her lips lifted on one side. “Yeah, that might change.”
I laughed, shocked by her brazenness. “And why is that?”
She shrugged, and the movement drew my eye to the slender line of her shoulder. “I’m practicing my wiles on you. This could end in disaster.”
My gaze popped up to hers. “Your wiles?”
“I need better wiles.”
“I don’t follow.”
Her lips stretched into a genuine smile. “See? It’s working already.”
I leaned in, I couldn’t help it. “This doesn’t sound so bad. Just as long as wiles isn’t code for stealing my identity.”
Her poker face didn’t break. “It’s code for stealing your virtue.”
My head tipped back, and I laughed deeper than I had in a long time. “You’re way more dangerous than I give you credit for, Nichols.”
Her hand closed around the handle, and she tugged it open. “You have no idea, Harris. No idea.”
I took the door from her, pulling it open all the way. She climbed inside while I enjoyed the view. It wasn’t my finest moment in chivalry, but it was well worth it.
Back in the driver’s seat, I took off for Thai Town. It sounded cheesy, but it was the best Thai food in La Crosse. Or that’s what Ellie had told me when I texted her a few days ago desperate for Britte-approved restaurant ideas.
“There’s a parking lot in the back,” Britte suggested after I’d nearly passed the tiny, nondescript building.
br /> “Oh, right.”
I felt her eyes on me. “Have you ever been here before?”
I thought about lying, but I figured she was smarter than that. “I haven’t, but Ellie’s told me good things.”
“Do you like Thai food?”
I nodded. “Sure. Love it.”
She laughed. “Beckett, have you ever had Thai food?”
I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye. “I eat Chinese food all the time.”
She laughed harder. “Not the same thing. Not even close to the same thing.”
I pulled into a narrow parking spot in a gravel lot and tried not to cringe at the shoddy surroundings. Where were we?
Her light touch landed on my forearm, and I turned to her out of instinct. “We don’t have to go here,” she suggested. “We can go somewhere you like.”
“This is fine.” She didn’t look convinced, so I leaned in and said honestly, “I don’t know I don’t like Thai because I’ve never had it before. I might love it, right?”
“That’s true.”
“But if I come here on my own, I’m guaranteed to order badly. At least I know you won’t let me get monkey feet or pig brains or anything.”
She bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Oh, my God. There are no monkey feet or pig brains. You’re safe.”
“That’s exactly what Indiana Jones thought.”
She smiled at me. “Ready for this?”
“Probably not,” I told her honestly. “But I trust you.”
Her smile disappeared, and her eyes narrowed. But she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. I felt her change immediately. She’d been all relaxed and flirty. Now she pulled back. Fast.
It was like that bright, glowing part of her that lured me to her like a stupid moth to a deadly flame blew out. She just…withdrew.
Was it that weird for me to trust her?
Apparently.
I decided I better retreat as well. For her sake. And for the sake of this date. I wanted that light back. I wanted her glowing and on fire and present. I couldn’t stand the idea of losing her. Not even a little bit. “Just kidding. I’m half expecting there to be razor blades in my food. Did you pay the cook to poison me?”
Her lips lifted in a careful smile. “I did,” she confessed. “Sodium Monofluoroacetate goes down so nicely.”
I coughed a surprised laugh. “I know we’re talking about killing me…but that was maybe the sexiest thing I’ve ever heard. Forget talking dirty. I might need you to go over the periodic table later.”
She tipped her head back, revealing the long column of her throat, and let out a waterfall of laughter. “You are a strange, strange man, Beckett Harris.”
I yanked the door open for her and let her walk through. I didn’t reply. I didn’t need to. She was back. Open. Flirty. Feisty. Sexy as hell. The wall had been temporarily lowered. Her defenses were down. Or maybe not down, but not waging actual war.
I knew Britte was a complicated woman. I accepted that. It was part of what compelled me to chase after her so hard in the first place.
But I hadn’t known she was going to be this complicated. I thought she had a problem with my reputation. Maybe she didn’t want to mess up her relationship with Ellie. I could respect both of those reasons. I was planning on ignoring them. But I could respect them.
There was something else going on here. Her reasons for staying away were deeper and far more deeply rooted than I gave credit. I wasn’t even sure this was entirely to do with me. She might be like this with all guys.
I knew she hadn’t had a serious boyfriend since she’d been at La Crosse, because after my sister broke up with her douchy ex-boyfriend, Ellie used to talk about how single her and Britte were. As if there were varying degrees. And how they were going to stay that way forever. Because solidarity!
But then Ellie found Fin.
The hostess took us to a small table in the back of the restaurant. A server dropped off two glasses of water and greeted us before disappearing again.
It was dark as shit in here. And not in a romantic way. This was the kind of restaurant that hid things by dim lighting and rugs. There were a lot of rugs.
I didn’t get uneasy often, but this place made me think twice about picking up the menu. Maybe Britte hadn’t been lying about the whole poison thing.
“You look nervous.”
I lifted my eyes from the greasy plastic table cloth and bravely met her eyes. “Me?”
Her lips spread in that gorgeous smile, and my heart knocked around in my chest. I swallowed and tried to appear unaffected.
She leaned forward. “I was kidding about the poison.”
I swayed toward her. “You have to say the whole word.”
Her nose wrinkled briefly, and her eyes rolled, but then she dropped her gaze, lowered her voice to a sultry tone and murmured, “Sodium Monofluoroacetate. I was kidding about the Sodium Monofluoroacetate.”
“God, woman. Your patients are going to riot.”
She laughed again. “You are out of control.”
“Honest,” I told her, watching her closely. “I’m just being honest.”
Britte cleared her throat and reached for her water. “So, I’m guessing you’ll need a menu tutorial?” Her eyebrow lifted. “Unless you’re going rogue. Then by all means, happy diarrhea.”
“I’ll, uh, renew my faith in you, Nichols. I’d be happy to avoid the snake.”
She stilled in her menu perusal and gave me her full attention again. “The snake?”
I grinned. “It’s what we called it on the road. You know, if a guy had, er, bathroom issues before a game. Or multiple games. We called it the snake.”
She laughed, “Do I even want to know how you came up with that?”
I shook my head. “No, you don’t. I promise you that.” Her eyes sparkled with humor. The small candle in the center of the table made her glow; her complexion was stunning, all tanned skin and perfectly pink cheeks. She was by far one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen. “Why are we even talking about this? Terrible form on my part.”
Her smile gentled, “I’m the one that brought it up.” With a sly wink and fidgeting fingers, she said, “Besides, I’m pre-med, none of that really grosses me out anymore. Everybody poops.”
I should have been grossed out. Up until this moment, I preferred to think of all women devoid of this one function. And yet, somehow, with Britte, it was endearing. Kind of adorable.
“Isn’t that a book?” I asked.
She nodded. “I think it is.”
I picked up my menu and glanced over the names of dishes I couldn’t pronounce. “Okay, genius, guide me in the direction of the non-diarrhea inducing food.”
“Happily.” And she did. She pointed out all the food she thought I might like. Most of it was mild compared to the rest of the menu, but that was okay with me.
I had to admit that I wasn’t the most adventurous eater. I knew what I liked and tended to stay in the meat and potatoes food groups. But Britte handled the menu like a pro. It was quite impressive. In the end, I just let her order for me. It was hard to tell, but I was pretty confident that earned me some bonus points.
She might have freaked out earlier when I said I trusted her, but she liked to be trusted.
Noted.
Even if I had to do it stealthily. I couldn’t figure her out. She was open and brave and confident in one breath. And in the next, she was tightly wound, shy and overly protective of certain parts of her life. But every chance I got to spend time with her, I was cataloging all this information, storing it in my mental Britte Nichols folder.
I didn’t usually do this with girls, but most girls didn’t come at me with a whole list of quirks and secrets. Most of them dumped their obvious personalities at my feet, right next to their clothes.
Just kidding. I wasn’t that much of an ass.
Britte was different, though. And even though I wanted her clothes off her body and somewhere near m
y feet, or my floor…or thrown somewhere in my car, whatever, I also wanted to get to know her. I wanted to see how all her pieces fit together. I wanted to understand why she could be so fearless about some things and closed off about others. I wanted to see what made her tick and what threw her off and put her back together and how I could do all three of those things.
We started with spring rolls and something that looked like a donut, only it was made out of vegetables, although they were fried. I was skeptical at first, but she promised me she hadn’t ordered anything I wouldn’t like. And she was right about that.
For my main course, she got us both noodle dishes. Mine seemed pretty straight forward, not too many weird things involved. Hers was a little more on the risky side. She let me try it, and I had to admit, it was good.
By my second bite, I knew I would be back. Hopefully with her, because I had no idea what she ordered me and that could be a problem in the future. But I was now a big fan of Thai.
“So?” She stabbed a piece of sautéed broccoli. “What do you think?”
“It’s good,” I told her honestly. “I usually stick to the same places, and none of them are this…exotic.”
Her pretty smile came back. “Exotic?”
“Well, prior to tonight, my idea of eating ethnic food was hitting up Taco Bell at three a.m.”
I loved the sound of her laughter as it tumbled out of her. “Well, then I suppose this was a boundary expanding experience.”
“Consider my boundaries expanded. Mucho.”
Her smile stretched. “Thank you for dinner, Beckett. I had fun.”
“Good. But it’s not over.”
She raised an eyebrow, but waited for the waitress to drop off the check and clear our plates before she asked, “It’s not?”
“Well, we haven’t had dessert yet.”
“Dessert?”
“Obviously.”
“You Harris’s are all the same.”
“Are you telling me dessert is not a part of your regular diet?”
“Are you kidding me? Dessert is my favorite food group. But I’m so full. I’m going to have to run two extra miles tomorrow to burn off those spring rolls.”
I rolled my eyes. Her body was insane. And it drove me to the point of insanity thinking about her body. “A little ice cream never hurt anybody.”