The next day the delegations from Terra and the Intergalactic Alliance arrived. Kharmadi recognized an old friend, Everest Lee, currently serving as one of the Terran Ambassadors to the Intergalactic Alliance. All the usual criticizing and disparaging of prior actions and intentions ensued, with the accompanying righteous indignation and blame throwing, as each coterie jockeyed for position and honor. By the end of the day both the delegation from Terra and the delegation from the Intergalactic Alliance were attempting separate negotiations with the new aliens. The Terran colonists found themselves marginalized by both groups and relegated to the status of tolerated annoyances, with orders to pack up and prepare to leave.
The Rcyyt were completely confused.
Everest Lee and his co-ambassador to the Intergalactic Alliance, Maddog Hurd, found themselves viewed as potential traitors by both sides. After spending most of the day being treated as pariahs, they sought out Kharmadi, on the theory that misery loves company.
“Amazing how fast a situation can flash down the crapper,” Maddog grumbled as he sat at Kharmadi’s computer fiddling with his report for the Terran Home Office.
Everest stopped pulling his hair and sighed. “We just need to keep our eyes and ears open for an opportunity. Maybe this ceremony debacle tomorrow will provide us a wedge.”
“Don’t count on it.” Maddog hunched in his chair to better glare at the computer display.
“What ceremony debacle?” Kharmadi asked as she assembled the results of her raid on the colony’s mess on a fold-out table for her guests.
“While trying to find an excuse to put off both the Terrans and the I.A. the Rcyyt begged out of meetings tomorrow on the grounds that they’d had a birth in the village and would be busy with the naming ceremony.” Everest picked among the displayed treats of ration provender and nearly past-date leftovers to create a gourmet’s nightmare for his supper. “However both groups pounced on the ceremony as an opportunity to ‘solidify relations.’ I had the impression the Rcyyt were trying to think of a way to uninvite their unwanted guests, but were too polite to simply say so.”
Maddog slouched farther down, as he frowned at the display. “Did you really kidnap a Rcyyt of the opposite sex of the ones everyone is negotiating with?”
“Apparently.” Kharmadi glared at the back of his head. She didn’t need reminding of the cause of her own troubles.
Instead of scolding her, Maddog sat up straight and turned around grinning to face Kharmadi and Everest. “Maybe that’s our opportunity. Maybe that’s the wedge we can use.”
“What?” Kharmadi asked.
“Yes!” Everest practically leapt out of his chair to pace Kharmadi’s lab. “What if instead of negotiating with the humanoid half of the Rcyyt equation we negotiated with the arachnoid half.”
They both turned to stare eagerly at her.
“No.” Kharmadi spoke as emphatically as she could, but neither of the others seemed the least quelled. “No, no, no.” They still grinned at her. “No!”
“All we need from you is to know how to find them,” Maddog said.
“I only found them by accident, not on purpose.” Kharmadi shook her finger at Maddog. “I don’t know how to find them. Even if I did, I wouldn’t help you. So there. End of discussion.”
Everest moved his chair close to hers and sat beside her. “Just think about it. The arachnoids are obviously oppressed. Allowed out only at night. Constantly concealed under clothing. Ignored and worse, forbidden.” He leaned close and spoke in his most persuasive voice. “We negotiate with the arachnoids, get the alliances desperately needed by both Terra and the I.A., and improve life for the Rcyyt themselves. Everybody wins, the universe is a better place, and it’s all because of you.”
“No.” Kharmadi got up and walked away from those soulful brown eyes and sincere pleading tones. She had to if she wanted to keep saying no. “For all we know the arachnoids oppress the humanoids, forcing them into virtual slavery to care for and meet the arachnoids every whim. Besides which, the humanoids won’t even acknowledge the arachnoids existence. How then will you ever get them to agree to a treaty negotiated by people they pretend don’t exist?”
Before Everest could martial an argument for this, they heard Iol’s voice calling from the other side of the door. “Terran Dr. Kharmadi?”
Kharmadi opened the door, and Iol rushed in closing the door on the darkness behind it as if some horror had chased it here. Out of the corner of her eye Kharmadi saw Maddog surreptitiously turn on both the translator and the record function of the computer.
Iol bowed deeply to Kharmadi, and began speaking in rapid, breathless Rcyyt. As soon as it stopped, the computer played the translation. “Terran Dr. Kharmadi, I beg you. You must stop the others from coming to the naming ceremony. It is . . . .” The translation ended in static.
“I’m sorry. I don’t have either the power, or the authority, to stop them.” Kharmadi motioned to the seat she had vacated beside Everest. “Why don’t you sit down. Maybe if we talk about this we can figure something out.”
The Rcyyt hesitated, looking from Maddog at Kharmadi’s computer, to Everest, then back to Kharmadi.
“They’re old friends.” Kharmadi motioned to the empty chair again. “You can trust them. I do.”
“What is the problem?” Everest asked as he repositioned the empty chair beside him to improve the recording, while attempting to make his actions appear to be an echo of Kharmadi’s invitation to sit.
As it sat, Iol said, “The naming ceremony is only . . . .” The translation ended in static again. Iol glared at the computer. It tried four Rcyyt words, each being translated only as static. Apparently giving up on the computer, Iol turned to Kharmadi. “I don’t know how to make you understand.”
Kharmadi grabbed a folding stool she used when gathering data in the field, flipped it open one handed and sat across from Iol. “Start by telling us about the ceremony.”
“It is a . . . .” Iol threw a withering glare at the computer’s static, before regrouping. “It is for family.”
The computer translation added, “The Rcyyt word used indicates more of a tribal or political affiliation, above and beyond mere biological relation, though that is included.”
After the computer finished, Iol added, “It is not serious. It is for fun.” Iol looked expectantly at Kharmadi.
Unfortunately whatever leap of alien logic it hoped she’d make eluded her. “It’s a lighthearted occasion for celebrating?”
Iol closed its eyes. Kharmadi was certain the sound of its grinding teeth would be picked up on the recording. "Yes. But more importantly no."
“Why don’t you describe the ceremony for us?” Everest prompted gently.
Opening its eyes, Iol took a deep breath before answering. “All the family’s adults gather and form concentric circles, the innermost being for the new child’s parents, more distant relatives in outer circles.”
“Ah ha!” Maddog interrupted. “Only biological relatives may attend.”
“Not necessarily. Those that have mated into the family, but remain members of another family may attend, as well as other friends.”
“Oh.” Maddog slouched back down in his seat. “Go on.”
“The child is taken, still sleeping, from the pouch and passed from one adult to the next, in order of relation, until it cries. The adult holding the child when it cries has the honor of naming the child, but that is the only honor they get.” Iol twisted its fingers in a way that reminded Kharmadi of hand wringing.
“I don’t see the problem.” Everest looked to Kharmadi. “Do you?”
“I can see several problems. Not all of them with or in the ceremony. I just don’t know which they fear.” Kharmadi turned her attention to Iol. “What, exactly, do you think will cause a problem?”
“I’m afraid the naming will fall to one of the Terrans. This is the third child for my mate and I, and they all of the
m sleep far too soundly.” Iol held its hands cupped together in front of it as if examining a tiny infant cradled inside. “Most children are named by someone within the first two circles, since they wake outside the warmth of the pouch. But our previous children have gone through all the circles at least once before waking. And this one sleeps as soundly as the others.”
“Oh, it’s your child that’s being named.” Maddog grinned at Iol. “Congratulations! Who is your mate?”
Kharmadi gasped, fearing this might be a forbidden question, but Iol merely nodded in acknowledgment of the compliment and said, “Unsi Tremeb Yhew Gnews Erone Ggonm Kedat Bybri is my mate.”
Maddog pulled up a likeness of the named Rcyyt on the computer, and said, “Is this it?”
Nodding at the display - a magnificent portrait of Big blue horns firmly holding Kharmadi in place at the first meeting of Terrans and Rcyyt - Iol said, “That is.”
“Big blue horns?” Kharmadi said incredulously, forgetting the computer would automatically translate her words. "Sorry. I didn't know its name."
Iol clapped quietly. "My mate would be pleased at that description."
"At least it's complimentary," Everest said soothingly to Kharmadi. He looked from the screen display to Iol to Kharmadi. "However. . . ."
Frowning Kharmadi tried to interpret the various expressions that passed his face, unsuccessfully. "What?"
Everest glared at her a moment, before perking up. He looked at Iol. "What did you say your mate's name was?"
No Terran could have missed the stress Everest put on the word "mate," but the translator would. Everything would be translated at the same volume and tone. It was a built in design feature, to make certain that the translations were only literal, just the words and their meanings. The makers felt that keeping emotions out of the translations were the best way to defuse any potential communications problems.
Kharmadi caught Everest's meaning that time, even as she missed Iol's response. If Big blue horns, Bybri, was Iol's mate then where did Citi fall into the picture? Kharmadi winced as she remembered Iol talking about taking the child from the pouch during the ceremony. Citi's pouch had been full of something. Kharmadi'd kidnapped an alien infant. It was only a matter of time before the Rcyyt tossed her in their equivalent of jail, and threw away the key. The surprise was that they hadn't formed a posse and hung her already. It certainly explained Big blue horn's - Bybri, Kharmadi had to remember the name - anger the other morning.
"I'm going to ask a stupid question," Maddog's voice cut through Kharmadi's thoughts. "Feel free to deck me if I'm out of line, but. . . . Which of you is the mother and which is the father?"
A lot of static and a long translator aside accompanied the last bit. Iol closed his eyes and shook his head. "What? I don't understand."
Maddog twisted his mouth and slouched while he thought for a moment. "Ah." He straightened up. "You have a new baby, someone gave birth, who was it?"
Iol scooted a little away from Maddog, at least as much as the small chair would allow. "My mate, Unsi Tremeb Yhew Gnews Erone Ggonm Kedat Bybri."
"Can you give birth?" Maddog asked.
"No." Iol started to rise.
"Wait!" Kharmadi and Everest said at the same time. Iol stopped.
"If you don't ask stupid questions you're never going to learn anything," Maddog said. "Among us Terrans only the women, like Kharmadi, can give birth-"
"Shut up!" Everest shouted, as he moved to block Iol's exit. "We're getting off the subject here." He turned his soulful brown eyes and his best pleading gaze on Iol. "Let's get back to talking about the ceremony, and why Terrans shouldn't attend."
"The name!" Maddog shouted. "He doesn't want us to name the child."
Iol stopped trying to inch around Everest.
"If you told us what you wanted to name the child, we could make sure all the Terrans and others present knew what to name the child," Everest said in his best coaxing voice. It didn't seem to be working.
"What were you going to name the child?" Kharmadi asked.
"Elari, but that is not the problem."
"What is?" Kharmadi asked.
Flopping down onto the chair, with none of the Rcyyt's usual elegance, Iol muttered a moment to itself. Then it was Iol's turn to wince as the translator automatically translated its aside. "Maybe the other families are right. Maybe we should do away with the crudeness of the naming ceremony."
"Other families don't have the naming ceremony?" Maddog asked. Kharmadi waved him off, sat in her camp chair, and said to Iol, "Ignore him."
"Ah ha!" Everest grinned at the others. "I think I've got it. There used to be an old Terran custom where someone was named king, or queen, of the fools. On fool's day, I believe. But, being named king or queen was the only honor they got. They were ridiculed, and laughed at, and generally treated rudely. Though some did court the honor, it was considered by most to be disrespectful, and eventually the custom died out."
"What is fool's day?" Iol asked.
"It's a day we set aside to play tricks and jokes on one another," Everest said. "For fun, usually. Sometimes it does get out of hand."
Iol nodded. "Yes, it is like you describe. The old custom of fool's day."
"I wouldn't worry too much. We'll explain it to the others, and no one will get upset," Maddog said, confidently leaning back in his chair.
The sound of teeth grinding in the silent lab greeted Maddog's pronouncement.
"Who decides where everyone stands?" Everest asked.
"The child's parents."
"Just make sure Kharmadi is the first Terran. Every time she gets near an infant it cries." Everest grinned. "The kid won't get past her. Trust me."
"But I do not wish Terran Dr. Oxana Kharmadi to be made the subject of such coarse humor." Iol glared at Everest. "I don't want any aliens to-" Iol stopped before finishing the sentence.
"What, see you at your worst?" Maddog asked, tilting back farther in his chair.
Kharmadi reached for one of his chair's legs, one of the three not touching the floor. "Keep it up, Maddog, and I'll dump you."
The chair thumped as Maddog straightened up and sat in the chair properly. Iol started to clap, then stilled its hands in its lap.
"Will any of the other families be attending the ceremony?" Everest asked. Kharmadi could almost see the calculations going on in his head.
"No."
"I'm sorry." Kharmadi clasped her hands in front of her and bowed while seated. "I don't have the authority or ability to stop anyone from attending tomorrow. Each of the groups out there is jockeying for position, and each thinks that at the ceremony they'll find the key to understanding you, to getting you to agree to ally with them."
Hands twitching, Iol seemed to think about what Kharmadi said. Finally Iol drew a deep breath, and shook its head. "I fear what they may think of us after the naming ceremony."
"I'm sorry." Kharmadi bowed again. "Perhaps we should fear what you'll think of us after you've seen how boorish we can be. Like when we barge in when we're not wanted."
"I'm afraid everyone will be there," Everest said.
"Is there nothing you can do?" Iol asked Kharmadi.
"I'm sorry." Kharmadi slumped slightly. "The only thing I can think to tell you is that this is your ceremony, you must set the bounds for it and enforce them."
Iol hunched in the chair. A gesture of defeat common to both species. As he stood he said, "We will endeavor to keep the ceremony as dignified as possible."
"Stay awhile." Everest again moved to block Iol's departure. "We can talk some more. Get to know each other better. Perhaps prevent such problems in the future."
"No. I must go." Iol firmly grabbed Everest's arm, and pushed him out of the way. "I only have permission to be out for a short while. I must return to the village."
After Iol left, Everest looked at Maddog and said, "Did we get all that?"
&n
bsp; "Yes, of course," Maddog said indignantly.
"We aren't going to share it, yet," Everest said.
"Of course!"
"A baby," Kharmadi groaned. "I kidnapped a baby!"
"Stands to reason." Maddog leaned back in the chair again. "If Iol is the father, and Bybri is the mother, then Citi is the child."
Everest paused in the act of popping a bite into his mouth. "I don't think so. He said the child is taken from the pouch. It looks like the spider creatures are merely eggs on legs, produced by the humanoid Rcyyt to gestate children. I'm guessing Bybri gets very thin tomorrow."
"If it's only to gestate then dies off, why would they name it?" Kharmadi slumped in her camp chair. "Names are so important to them they have ceremonies, and you have to use their full, correct names."
"She's got a point." Maddog brought the chair down to sit properly. "And if it is only to gestate, why would Iol have one? Why would the children have one. You can't miss any of their pot bellies."
"They don't all have them." Shrugging, Everest added, "Obviously this is going to take more thought."
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