‘What the—’
‘Was it him? Did he make you drink it? Is he why you’re a dhampir?’ my father demanded, glaring at Kaspar. I shook my head, feeling a little desperate and wishing that someone would change the subject as I tried to press my father’s hand, which pointed at Kaspar, back down, flushing again.
‘No, nothing like that. Look, it doesn’t matter so much, just forget about it.’
‘Forget about it? How can I forget that my own daughter has the blood of murderers in her veins?’ He turned away, burying his face in his hands. ‘No daughter of mine would do that! So who are you? Who are you?’
Cain launched himself forwards, only just grabbed in time by Kaspar. ‘Stop it! It wasn’t her fault! None of it was her fault. She was attacked and that blood saved her life and she’s just found out she is a Heroine and all you can do is hound her for letting herself be poisoned by murderers, or whatever you call it. What kind of a family do you call yourself?’
The whole room was silent, shocked at Cain’s sudden outburst. I waited for my father’s response, my skin starting to crawl with a feeling I thought I had forgotten.
‘Attacked?’ my father breathed. ‘When? Who?’
I didn’t answer. Nobody did.
‘It doesn’t matter. It’s no big deal. It was ages ago now.’ I couldn’t tell him who. He would try and kill Valerian Crimson for what his son had done, and it wouldn’t be Crimson coming off worse.
‘Doesn’t matter? Of course it matters!’
‘Everything is fine, there’s no need to talk about it, okay?’ I began, trying to salvage the situation.
‘No, we are going to talk about this now—’
‘No, we’re not,’ I corrected, seeing Eaglen mouthing for me to go. I didn’t need any encouragement and I turned on my heel, leaving the occupants of the room in embarrassed silence. Kaspar reached out towards me but I recoiled, just as my sister had done earlier.
‘I’m fine!’ I snapped, leaving the room to mutters of ‘My Lady’. I bolted upstairs, locking myself into the bathroom and scrubbing my hands and splashing my face with cold water until my cheeks turned red and my skin tingled.
When I was done, I slipped out onto the balcony outside Kaspar’s room, sinking down against the banisters and listening to the voices and footsteps of the people who passed below.
The grounds were bare and empty now. The warm hues that had ringed the mansion earlier on in the autumn had descended to the lawns, dappling them with spots of muddy brown. It was still windy and I curled up in the corner of the balcony, tugging the short sleeves of the blouse down as far as they would go and folding my arms across my chest. The hairs across my arms stood up as a bitter breeze passed through, rustling the piles of leaves scattered across the ground like a child crumpling sweet wrappers.
‘Are you trying to freeze yourself to death?’
Untangling myself from the material, I wrapped it around my shoulders. ‘No.’
‘Your father is being difficult,’ Kaspar said, coming and sitting down beside me. ‘Reminds me of someone, actually.’ He gave me a knowing smile, but I didn’t give him the satisfaction of responding. Instead, I stared at the blanket around my knees, shivering beneath it.
‘Did he actually get that I’m a Heroine?’
‘Yes, but in all honesty, he was more bothered about, well …’ He left the sentence hanging. I pulled my knees in closer to my chest and rested my head on the blanket, which was already becoming damp from the specks of rain continuing to fall. He is only being protective, I told myself. But the tone he had used; the words he had chosen; the way he had demanded who? still hurt.
But what did you expect? my voice asked. I had expected him to be angry over Kaspar and over me turning, but I hadn’t expected what Ilta had done to come up. I hadn’t been prepared for that.
‘Will he come to Athenea with us?’ I muttered.
‘Who? Your father? Probably,’ Kaspar answered. ‘It will mean we can keep an eye on him.’
I shook my head. I knew that: it was common sense. ‘I meant Valerian Crimson.’
There was a pause which answered my question better than any words. Resigned, I nodded into the blanket.
‘But Athenea is huge. You won’t even know he is there,’ Kaspar continued in a more hopeful tone. ‘And he wouldn’t dare touch you, not now you’re under the Sage’s protection.’
I didn’t doubt that. But just his presence was too much. All I wanted to do was forget about it, but every time he appeared I felt as though I was the dirt crushed below his boot, pushed further and further into the gravel, like I had been just a day before.
I felt tears prick at my eyes and closed them, burying my face in the folds of the rough material. ‘Ilta tried to kill me.’ A spot burnt in the centre of my palm. ‘He knew I was a Heroine and he wanted to finish me off. I’m lucky he didn’t just get straight to it.’
Kaspar growled. ‘Don’t say that. He had no right to do that to you, Heroine or not.’
‘There’ll be more like him though,’ I muttered.
‘No, there won’t. It will all work out, you’ll see, Girly. It’s not the end until everything is all right.’
I didn’t answer, losing count of how many times I had heard that. After a while, the rain began to trickle down the back of my neck and into my shirt and I got up, handing the blanket back to Kaspar and deciding to head back in. Inside, the room was dark as the lamps weren’t lit; neither was the sun shining in.
‘Your father wants to see you, you know. He said he will listen,’ Kaspar called, emerging from between the voiles surrounding the doors. ‘It can’t do any harm to try and make him understand. And you’re the only one who can do that.’
‘He doesn’t have to understand, just agree to resign,’ I pointed out, leaving the room for my own to change into something dry. When I reached my wardrobe and picked out a fresh shirt, I heard movement behind me. I turned to see Kaspar leaning against the frame of the doorway, his arms folded across the chest.
‘But he won’t agree, which is why we need you.’
At that moment there was a curt knock on the door and I jumped, startled. Kaspar went to open the door.
‘Oh, it’s you.’
‘What are you doing here?’ I heard a second voice say: my father’s voice. A little piece of me groaned and I let my hair fall back around my face. Kaspar said nothing and my father continued, his voice becoming more irritated with every word. ‘Where’s Violet?’
I took a deep breath and stepped out, noticing the distance between my father and Kaspar right away, as well as the glares they were shooting each other. Kaspar went to leave but I raised my hand and told him to stay. My father’s frown deepened.
‘Why won’t you agree to resign?’ I demanded, crossing my arms across my chest. Kaspar perched himself on the windowsill, studying my face and then my father’s. ‘You’re putting mum and Lily at risk too. It’s not fair.’
‘I don’t see why I should resign,’ he replied, mirroring my folded arms. I closed my eyes, willing myself to be patient. He would have to agree eventually, I knew, but I would prefer it to be sooner rather than later.
‘Because what you did was wrong and you’re too much of a risk—’
‘Because I put the welfare of the people of this country before the life of one woman? Is that so wrong?!’
I opened my mouth to reply but it wasn’t the sound of my voice that filled the room. Instead, I heard the springs of the bed being forced down and then the strangled cry of my father as a hand enclosed his neck.
‘Kaspar, get off him!’ I cried out, dashing around the bed and yanking at his hand. He didn’t even seem to hear me as his eyes became black from the pupil out, like a dark fire consuming the forest and pluming smoke. He shook my father, whose face was becoming blotched and red as he stuttered and gasped for air. His eyes roamed across the room like he couldn’t focus until they settled just to the left of me, pitiful and bloodshot.
‘Kaspar! Let him go!’
To my surprise, he did, leaving my father to rock back on his heels and splutter. I wrapped my arm around him, helping him upright again.
‘If she had signed that treaty, your kind would have run unchecked,’ he forced through gritted teeth. ‘People would have died. I stopped that.’
Kaspar surged forward again and I only just managed to dive in front of him, blocking his path.
‘Enough! Dad, shut up, and Kaspar, get out!’
Without saying anything he left, leaving me alone with my father. I walked away from him to the window, looking out towards the grounds.
‘Lily should go home if you come to Athenea with us. She needs to rest,’ I sighed, forcing deep breaths into my lungs. ‘In fact, why did she even come in the first place? It’s not safe here.’
‘We weren’t expecting this.’
‘That was naïve,’ I snapped. He said nothing. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He stood stock still, his face still a light shade of purple. His shirt was dishevelled, as was his greying hair. It was so unlike him – he was always so tidy. ‘Just resign. They’re not just threatening to kill you if the protection is removed. It’s mum and Lily too. They hate you. I can’t even believe how civilized they have been so far, because you don’t deserve it.’
I heard a hiss as he forced his breath between his gritted teeth. ‘Listen to yourself. What have you become? Don’t you remember what you saw in Trafalgar Square?’ I turned sharply back to the window. Of course I remembered. I will never forget it. ‘Men torn apart worse than any animal is slaughtered. Families left behind; they rape women – women like you – and kill children. Humans are not just food. They’re playthings. And you are telling me you want to join that, Violet?’
‘Whether I want it or not is irrelevant. I’m a Heroine and I have no choice. But, as you ask, no, I don’t mind turning.’
‘Would you say the same thing if that Prince was not around?’
This time I didn’t reply and stared at the blotched patches of green through the windowpane, as the rain fell harder and the colours of the forest became one even emerald shade, matching Kaspar’s eyes. My silence answered the question.
‘And what will you do when he drops you? When you argue? When things go wrong? Who will you have?’
Each question broke a rib, puncturing my lungs and forcing the air out in rasps. I’d asked myself those questions, of course I had, but to hear them from another’s mouth, to hear them spoken with such cool contempt, triumphant yet desperate contempt, brought each and every question and every uncertainty to the surface with such a force I found myself turning and screaming at my father.
‘We’re tied! We can’t drop each other! Fate doesn’t work like that.’ My voice was definite, but in the back of my mind I felt the first pangs of doubt.
‘You believe in that stuff?’
I recoiled. ‘You don’t?’
‘I’m not sure what I believe anymore. But I do know that I want the best for you and this isn’t it.’ I sunk down onto the windowsill, watching as the rain pummelled harder and harder against the glass, teardrops warping into cubes of hail that streaked towards the earth, hitting it over and over. ‘You’re my daughter and I love you. All I want is for us to be a family again. Is that so much to ask?’ I didn’t answer. ‘Come home, Violet. I was thinking Lily could have another few months off and you could defer your university place until next September, and we could spend the spring travelling. Somewhere hot, by the sea, Australia, maybe. Just name what countries you want to see and we’ll go, I promise—’
‘Stop.’
‘A-and we could get you someone to speak to about … about what has been done to you. You don’t have to tell me who it is if you don’t want to, but—’
‘Stop.’
Thousands of beads leapt back off the swelling surface of the water in the fountain, lapping over the stone walls. The grass was flecked with white, like a frosty morning and the sky split open with a ferocious crack, the grounds of Varnley lit up by a flash of lightning.
‘No, I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. Tomorrow night, I’m going to become a vampire. Then in two weeks time I’m going to go to Athenea and so are you. But before that, you, Lily and those other two men are going to go home and you are going to hand in your resignation from your position and the party. Eaglen will accompany you to ensure it is done. You leave early tomorrow.’
I left the window, passing his dumbfounded face, splitting into a temper like the sky.
‘Is that it? I lost my son, I almost lost my youngest and now I shall lose my daughter?’
I paused at the door, gripping each side of the frame with my fingertips. ‘Don’t you know the Prophecy? “Destined to betray her kin.” That’s how it is.’ Even I was surprised at the hollow tone of my voice. ‘Now don’t you have a letter of resignation to write?’
I didn’t hang around to hear his reaction. It was cruel, it was cold-hearted, but I needed him to resign. I couldn’t worry about my family’s safety as well as everything else. And more importantly, I wanted him and Lily away when I turned. Far away.
‘Fate truly does choose well.’ My eyes, fixed on the floor, shot upwards to see Eaglen, his tiny, frail frame leaning, quite casually, against the wall of the corridor. The impish smile of a much younger man was perched on his lips. I narrowed my eyes and glanced back at the door of my room, swinging shut and sealing my father in.
‘You heard all of that?’ He bowed his head and raised it again in reply. ‘Then will you do it? Go with him and ensure he resigns?’
He chortled. ‘I am duty bound to do whatever you tell me to do, young Heroine. If you were to order me to throw myself from a cliff, I would do so.’
I bit my lip. Right. ‘Well, that’s good. Not the cliff part though. That’s not good. Don’t do that.’
He continued to chortle, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and tugging at his beard with an amused expression of someone in on a private joke. ‘I suspect Athenea are going to find you quite … intriguing. But I will ensure that all you told your father will be done. Good afternoon, My Lady.’ He bowed and still unused to such treatment, I stood for a few more seconds before realizing now was the polite moment to move away. But I had hardly made it to the top of the staircase when I stopped, cocking my head to one side.
‘Eaglen, just one question.
‘Did you know all along? That I was a Heroine, I mean.’
‘Yes, My Lady.’ I definitely preferred Miss Lee to My Lady. ‘I had my suspicions from the moment I heard the young Prince had taken you. When I first encountered you at the dinner for the council members, those suspicions were confirmed.’ I cast my mind back to that dinner, straining to remember my first introduction to Eaglen. He had stared at me. Is that when …?
‘How did you know?’ Silence. I waited, but he did not speak. I felt my palm clench, frustrated that yet again, I was being denied answers. ‘Well, why didn’t you say anything? None of this would have happened if you had.’
‘In a game of chess, My Lady, one has to make certain moves at the right time in order to win.’
What sort of an answer is that? I had been imprisoned, almost raped, bitten and almost killed in the past few months. Somehow, it seemed there was a little more at stake than in a game of chess.
‘Then at least tell me this. What’s going to happen after these two weeks?’
‘Why, My Lady, you, along with the entire court, will go to Athenea, where further decisions will be made,’ he replied in a flat, unemotional tone. I whipped around to face him, the anger in my face and voice evident.
‘You know what I mean,’ I hissed. ‘All I want are straight answers. Why won’t you give them to me?’
He straightened up, drawing himself to his full height – he always stooped so I never realized his true size, which left me feeling considerably smaller.
‘And neither, My Lady, does one know of the next move in a game
of chess. Now excuse me, I must attend to your father and I believe His Majesty wishes to speak to you.’ He pointed one of his crooked fingers towards the staircase and bowed, disappearing into my room. I scowled at the spot he had been standing in for a few seconds before someone behind me cleared their throat.
‘Your Majesty!’ I dropped into a curtsey as soon as I saw him, forgetting I didn’t need to, just as he swept a hand behind his back and bowed.
‘Lady Heroine, may we speak?’ I nodded and he gestured towards the door to Kaspar’s room, which was nearest. A little hesitant, I followed him in. He closed the door behind me and I watched as his eyes glided over the contents of the room – first the wrought-iron bed, which was untouched, not used for weeks – not since I slept in it. They moved to the closed French doors; the voiles; the drapes and the falling hail behind, hitting the balcony and producing a constant drumming. From there they slid to the grate of the fireplace and the cluttered mantle, strewn with paper and deodorant cans; and just above that, they settled, hovering on the great picture of himself in his younger days and his beautiful, kind-hearted wife, her eyes staring at the bed she would never again lie in.
How long is it since he has been in here? I wondered. His eyes did not leave the painting, his Adam’s apple rising as he swallowed hard, his hand frozen on the doorknob.
‘Your Majesty?’ I began as tentatively as I could, thinking that this was perhaps not the best place to talk.
He turned towards me, looking like he had only just realized I was there. ‘Forgive me. I would suggest my study, but it is presently in use by the Sage.’
The King released his hand from the door and returned to his usual manner, moving to the centre of the room in one brisk motion and, I noticed, turning away from the painting.
‘I thought it time that I offered you an explanation for my behaviour over the past few months.’ Damn right it’s time. ‘But first, Kaspar tells me that you wish to turn tomorrow night.’ I nodded. ‘And he asked permission to turn you. That is your wish, correct?’ Again I nodded. He nodded too, like he was absorbing that information. ‘I think it best that we do not inform the rest of the household about your chosen date. And perhaps, to also ensure your privacy, it would be best for you both to retreat into here tomorrow evening.’ He nodded to himself and almost as an afterthought, added, ‘Is this agreeable to you, My Lady?’