CHAPTER ii. -- A BROAD HINT.
The next day Cecilia, to drive Delvile a little from her thoughts,which she now no longer wished him to occupy, again made a visit to MissBelfield, whose society afforded her more consolation than any other shecould procure.
She found her employed in packing up, and preparing to remove to anotherlodging, for her brother, she said, was so much better, that he did notthink it right to continue in so disgraceful a situation.
She talked with her accustomed openness of her affairs, and the interestwhich Cecilia involuntarily took in them, contributed to lessen hervexation in thinking of her own. "The generous friend of my brother,"said she, "who, though but a new acquaintance to him, has courted himin all his sorrows, when every body else forsook him, has brought him atlast into a better way of thinking. He says there is a gentleman whoseson is soon going abroad, who he is almost sure will like my brothervastly, and in another week, he is to be introduced to him. And so, ifmy mother can but reconcile herself to parting with him, perhaps we mayall do well again."
"Your mother," said Cecilia, "when he is gone, will better know thevalue of the blessing she has left in her daughter."
"O no, madam, no; she is wrapt up in him, and cares nothing for all theworld besides. It was always so, and we have all of us been used to it.But we have had a sad scene since you were so kind as to come last; forwhen she told him what you had done, he was almost out of his senseswith anger that we had acquainted you with his distress, and he said itwas publishing his misery, and undoing whatever his friend or himselfcould do, for it was making him ashamed to appear in the world, evenwhen his affairs might be better. But I told him again and again thatyou had as much sweetness as goodness, and instead of hurting hisreputation, would do him nothing but credit."
"I am sorry," said Cecilia, "Mrs Belfield mentioned the circumstanceat all; it would have been better, for many reasons, that he should nothave heard of it."
"She hoped it would please him," answered Miss Belfield, "however, hemade us both promise we would take no such step in future, for he saidwe were not reduced to so much indigence, whatever he was; and that asto our accepting money from other people, that we might save up our ownfor him, it would be answering no purpose, for he should think himself amonster to make use of it."
"And what said your mother?"
"Why she gave him a great many promises that she would never vex himabout it again; and indeed, much as I know we are obliged to you, madam,and gratefully as I am sure I would lay down my life to serve you, I amvery glad in this case that my brother has found it out. For though I somuch wish him to do something for himself, and not to be so proud, andlive in a manner he has no right to do, I think, for all that, that itis a great disgrace to my' poor father's honest memory, to have us turnbeggars after his death, when he left us all so well provided for, if wehad but known how to be satisfied."
"There is a natural rectitude in your heart," said Cecilia, "that theablest casuists could not mend."
She then enquired whither they were removing, and Miss Belfield told herto Portland Street, Oxford Road, where they were to have two apartmentsup two pair of stairs, and the use of a very good parlour, in which herbrother might see his friends. "And this," added she, "is a luxury forwhich nobody can blame him, because if he has not the appearance of adecent home, no gentleman will employ him."
The Padington house, she said, was already let, and her mother wasdetermined not to hire another, but still to live as penuriously aspossible, in order, notwithstanding his remonstrances, to save all shecould of her income for her son.
Here the conversation was interrupted by the entrance of Mrs Belfield,who very familiarly said she came to tell Cecilia they were all in thewrong box in letting her son know of the L10 bank note, "for," continuedshe, "he has a pride that would grace a duke, and he thinks nothing ofhis hardships, so long as nobody knows of them. So another time we mustmanage things better, and when we do him any good, not let him know aword of the matter. We'll settle it all among ourselves, and one day orother he'll be glad enough to thank us."
Cecilia, who saw Miss Belfield colour with shame at the freedom of thishint, now arose to depart; but Mrs Belfield begged her not to go sosoon, and pressed her with such urgency to again sit down, that she wasobliged to comply.
She then began a warm commendation of her son, lavishly praising all hisgood qualities, and exalting even his defects, concluding with saying"But, ma'am, for all he's such a complete gentleman, and for all he'smade so much of, he was so diffident, I could not get him to call andthank you for the present you made him, though, when he went his lastairing, I almost knelt to him to do it. But, with all his merit, hewants as much encouragement as a lady, for I can tell you it is not alittle will do for him."
Cecilia, amazed at this extraordinary speech, looked from the mother tothe daughter in order to discover its meaning, which, however, was soonrendered plainer by what followed.
"But pray now, ma'am, don't think him the more ungrateful for hisshyness, for young ladies so high in the world as you are, must gopretty good lengths before a young man will get courage to speak tothem. And though I have told my son over and over that the ladies neverlike a man the worse for being a little bold, he's so much down in themouth that it has no effect upon him. But it all comes of his beingbrought up at the university, for that makes him think he knows betterthan I can tell him. And so, to be sure, he does. However, for all that,it is a hard thing upon a mother to find all she says goes just fornothing. But I hope you'll excuse him, ma'am, for it's nothing in theworld but his over-modesty."
Cecilia now stared with a look of so much astonishment and displeasure,that Mrs Belfield, suspecting she had gone rather too far, added "I begyou won't take what I've said amiss, ma'am, for we mothers of familiesare more used to speak out than maiden ladies. And I should not havesaid so much, but only I was afraid you would misconstrue my son'sbackwardness, and so that he might be flung out of your favour at last,and all for nothing but having too much respect for you."
"O dear mother!" cried Miss Belfield, whose face was the colour ofscarlet, "pray!"--
"What's the matter now?" cried Mrs Belfield; "you are as shy asyour brother; and if we are all to be so, when are we to come to anunderstanding?"
"Not immediately, I believe indeed," said Cecilia, rising, "but that wemay not plunge deeper in our mistakes, I will for the present take myleave."
"No, ma'am," cried Mrs Belfield, stopping her, "pray don't go yet, forI've got a great many things I want to talk to you about. In the firstplace, ma'am, pray what is your opinion of this scheme for sending myson abroad into foreign parts? I don't know what you may think of it,but as to me, it half drives me out of my senses to have him taken awayfrom me at last in that unnatural manner. And I'm sure, ma'am, if youwould only put in a word against it, I dare say he would give it upwithout a demur."
"Me?" cried Cecilia, disengaging herself from her hold, "No, madam, youmust apply to those friends who better understand his affairs, and whowould have a deeper interest in detaining him."
"Lack a day!" cried Mrs Belfield, with scarcely smothered vexation, "howhard it is to make these grand young ladies come to reason! As to myson's other friends, what good will it do for him to mind what they say?who can expect him to give up his journey, without knowing what amendshe shall get for it?"
"You must settle this matter with him at your leisure," said Cecilia, "Icannot now stay another moment."
Mrs Belfield, again finding she had been too precipitate, tried to drawback, saying "Pray, ma'am, don't let what I have mentioned go against myson in your good opinion, for he knows no more of it than the furthestperson in the world, as my daughter can testify for as to shyness,he's just as shy as a lady himself; so what good he ever got at theUniversity, as to the matter of making his fortune, it's what I nevercould discover. However, I dare say he knows best; though when all comesto all, if I was to speak my mind, I think he's made but a poor hand ofit."
Cecilia, who only through compassion to the blushing Henrietta forborerepressing this forwardness more seriously, merely answered Mrs Belfieldby wishing her good morning; but, while she was taking a kinder leave ofher timid daughter, the mother added "As to the present, ma'am, you wasso kind to make us, Henny can witness for me every penny of it shall goto my son."
"I rather meant it," said Cecilia, "for your daughter; but if it is ofuse to any body, my purpose is sufficiently answered."
Mrs Belfield again pressed her to sit down, but she would not againlisten to her, coldly saying "I am sorry you troubled Mr Belfield withany mention of what passed between his sister and me, but should youspeak of it again, I beg you will explain to him that he had no concernin that little transaction, which belonged wholly to ourselves."
She then hastened down stairs, followed, however, by Mrs Belfield,making awkward excuses for what she had said, intermixed with frequenthints that she knew all the time she was in the right.
This little incident, which convinced Cecilia Mrs Belfield was firmlypersuaded she was in love with her son, gave her much uneasiness; shefeared the son himself might entertain the same notion, and thoughtit most probable the daughter also had imbibed it, though but for theforward vulgarity of the sanguine mother, their opinions might long haveremained concealed. Her benevolence towards them, notwithstanding itspurity, must now therefore cease to be exerted; nor could she evenvisit Miss Belfield, since prudence, and a regard for her own character,seemed immediately to prohibit all commerce with the family.
"And thus difficult," cried she, "is the blameless use of riches,though; all who want them, think nothing so easy as their disposal! Thisfamily I have so much wished to serve, I may at last only have injured,since the disappointment of their higher expectations, may render allsmaller benefits contemptible. And thus this unfortunate misconstructionof my good offices, robs them of a useful assistant, and deprives me atthe same time of an amiable companion."
As soon as she returned home, she had a letter put into her hand whichcame from Mr Marriot, whose servant had twice called for an answer inthe short time she had been absent.
This letter contained a most passionate avowal of the impression she hadmade on his heart the preceding evening, and an angry complaint that MrHarrel had refused to hear his proposals. He entreated her permission towait upon her for only five minutes, and concluded with the most ferventprofessions of respect and admiration.
The precipitancy of this declaration served merely to confirm theopinion she had already conceived of the weakness of his understanding;but the obstinacy of Mr Harrel irritated and distressed her, thoughweary of expostulating with so hopeless a subject, whom neither reasonnor gratitude could turn from his own purposes, she was obliged tosubmit to his management, and was well content, in the present instance,to affirm his decree. She therefore wrote a concise answer to her newadmirer, in the usual form of civil rejection.