CHAPTER vi. -- A SURMISE.
The next morning opened with another scene; Mrs Harrel ran intoCecilia's room before breakfast, and acquainted her that Mr Harrel hadnot been at home all night.
The consternation with which she heard this account she instantlyendeavoured to dissipate, in order to soften the apprehension with whichit was communicated; Mrs Harrel, however, was extremely uneasy, andsent all the town over to make enquiries, but without receiving anyintelligence.
Cecilia, unwilling to leave her in a state of such alarm, wrote anexcuse to Mrs Delvile, that she might continue with her till someinformation was procured. A subject also of such immediate concern, wassufficient apology for avoiding any particular conversation with MissBelfield, who called, as usual, about noon, and whose susceptible heartwas much affected by the evident disturbance in which she found Cecilia.
The whole day passed, and no news arrived; but, greatly to herastonishment, Mrs Harrel in the evening prepared for going to anassembly! yet declaring at the same time it was extremely disagreeableto her, only she was afraid, if she stayed away, every body wouldsuppose something was the matter.
Who then at last, thought Cecilia, are half so much the slaves of theworld as the gay and the dissipated? Those who work for hire, haveat least their hours of rest, those who labour for subsistence are atliberty when subsistence is procured; but those who toil to please thevain and the idle, undertake a task which can never be finished,however scrupulously all private peace, and all internal comfort, may besacrificed in reality to the folly of saving appearances!
Losing, however, the motive for which she had given up her ownengagement, she now sent for her chair, in order to spend an hour or twowith Mrs Delvile. The servants, as they conducted her up stairs, saidthey would call their lady; and in entering the drawing-room she saw,reading and alone, young Delvile.
He seemed much surprised, but received her with the utmost respect,apologizing for the absence of his mother, whom he said had understoodshe was not to see her till the next day, and had left him to writeletters now, that she might then be at liberty.
Cecilia in return made excuses for her seeming inconsistency; afterwhich, for some time, all conversation dropt.
The silence was at length broken by young Delvile's saying "MrBelfield's merit has not been thrown away upon Lord Vannelt; he hasheard an excellent character of him from all his former acquaintance,and is now fitting up an apartment for him in his own house till his sonbegins his tour."
Cecilia said she was very happy in hearing such intelligence; and thenagain they were both silent.
"You have seen," said young Delvile, after this second pause, "MrBelfield's sister?"
Cecilia, not without changing colour, answered "Yes, Sir."
"She is very amiable," he continued, "too amiable, indeed, for hersituation, since her relations, her brother alone excepted, are allutterly unworthy of her."
He stopt; but Cecilia made no answer, and he presently added "Perhapsyou do not think her amiable?--you may have seen more of her, and knowsomething to her disadvantage?"
"O no!" cried Cecilia, with a forced alacrity, "but only I was thinkingthat--did you say you knew all her relations?"
"No," he answered, "but when I have been with Mr Belfield, some of themhave called upon him."
Again they were both silent; and then Cecilia, ashamed of her apparentbackwardness to give praise, compelled herself to say, "Miss Belfieldis indeed a very sweet girl, and I wish--" she stopt, not well knowingherself what she meant to add.
"I have been greatly pleased," said he, after waiting some time to hearif she would finish her speech, "by being informed of your goodness toher, and I think she seems equally to require and to deserve it. I doubtnot you will extend it to her when she is deprived of her brother, forthen will be the time that by doing her most service, it will reflect onyourself most honour."
Cecilia, confounded by this recommendation, faintly answered"Certainly,--whatever is in my power,--I shall be very glad--"
And just then Mrs Delvile made her appearance, and during the mutualapologies that followed, her son left the room. Cecilia, glad of anypretence to leave it also, insisted upon giving no interruption to MrsDelvile's letter writing, and having promised to spend all the next daywith her, hurried back to her chair.
The reflections that followed her thither were by no means the mostsoothing; she began now to apprehend that the pity she had bestowed uponMiss Belfield, Miss Belfield in a short time might bestow upon her; atany other time, his recommendation would merely have served to confirmher opinion of his benevolence, but in her present state of anxietyand uncertainty, every thing gave birth to conjecture, and had power toalarm her. He had behaved to her of late with the strangest coldnessand distance,--his praise of Henrietta had been ready andanimated,--Henrietta she knew adored him, and she knew not with whatreason,--but an involuntary suspicion arose in her mind, that thepartiality she had herself once excited, was now transferred to thatlittle dreaded, but not less dangerous rival.
Yet, if such was the case, what was to become either of the pride orthe interest of his family? Would his relations ever pardon an alliancestimulated neither by rank nor riches? would Mr Delvile, who hardlyever spoke but to the high-born, without seeming to think his dignitysomewhat injured, deign to receive for a daughter-in-law the child of acitizen and tradesman? would Mrs Delvile herself, little less elevatedin her notions, though infinitely softer in her manners, ever condescendto acknowledge her? Cecilia's own birth and connections, superior asthey were to those of Miss Belfield, were even openly disdained by MrDelvile, and all her expectations of being received into his familywere founded upon the largeness of her fortune, in favour of which thebrevity of her genealogy might perhaps pass unnoticed. But what was thechance of Miss Belfield, who neither had ancestors to boast, nor wealthto allure?
This thought, however, awakened all the generosity of her soul; "If,"cried she, "the advantages I possess are merely those of riches, howlittle should I be flattered by any appearance of preference! and howill can I judge with what sincerity it may be offered! happier in thatcase is the lowly Henrietta, who to poverty may attribute neglect, butwho can only be sought and caressed from motives of purest regard. Sheloves Mr Delvile, loves him with the most artless affection;--perhaps,too, he loves her in return,--why else his solicitude to know my opinionof her, and why so sudden his alarm when he thought it unfavourable?Perhaps he means to marry her, and to sacrifice to her innocence andher attractions all plans of ambition, and all views ofaggrandizement;--thrice happy Henrietta, if such is thy prospect offelicity! to have inspired a passion so disinterested, may humble themost insolent of thy superiors, and teach even the wealthiest to envythee!"