I could feel the disappointment ooze off him as he turned without a word. Or maybe, the disappointment was all inside me and I was projecting it onto him, but whatever the case, it just made me feel more miserable.
I opened my mouth to apologize again for ruining the one chance we’d had to be together, but he said, “So about this abusive ex-husband of yours.”
I ground my teeth, wishing he’d forgotten about that. “He wasn’t abusive,” I muttered, fiddling with the hem of his jacket sleeve. I’d never worn sleeves this long before, and it was probably best I didn’t because I’m sure I would’ve started the nasty nervous habit of worrying the cloth between my fingers if I had. Playing with it was addictive.
“Right here,” I added. Damn, every time I shifted in my seat, this smell would waft up from the inside of his jacket and surround me. The hint of winter was masked by something that was pure Colton. It reminded me of the scent that had burned its way into my nostrils on the night of the wedding when I’d been ripping his shirt open. He’d smelled the exact same way then, too.
Colton turned where I instructed and said, “I don’t believe you. You’re not this scared of him for no reason.”
“He wasn’t abusive,” I insisted and then muttered, “because I never gave him the chance to be.”
A moment of silence followed before Colton asked, “What does that mean exactly?”
I sighed. He always had a way of making me spill everything to him, didn’t he? That was so not fair.
“One night,” I started reluctantly. “We had a fight. Our first real fight. Jesus.” I laughed and shook my head. “I can’t even remember what we were arguing about now, it was that stupid. But he got mad and swung out his arm just when I moved into striking distance.”
“Shit,” Colton whispered, shaking his head.
“He swore it was an accident and said I’d just gotten too close when he was moving his arm. Hell, it could’ve been an accident.”
“It wasn’t an accident,” Colton said.
I nodded. “Yeah, probably not.”
“It wasn’t,” he insisted. “I’ve seen plenty of people lose their shit without harming a single person around them, accidently or not.”
“I told him it didn’t matter if it had been an accident,” I admitted quietly. “I’d gotten hurt when he’d been mad, and that was enough for me. He told me I was being completely unreasonable and not even giving him a chance, and maybe he was right, but he fucking bruised me. My jaw was sore for over a week.”
With a nod, Colton murmured, “You did the right thing.”
“Hell yes, I did. After it was over, I found out he’d cheated on me anyway.”
“Well, shit.” He shook his head. “Why is he so determined to win you back, then? Or do you think he wants to exact some kind of revenge on you for leaving him?”
“Oh, he wants me back. My dad works for this huge equal rights organization. He’s kind of a bigwig there, and Shaun would love nothing better than to work there too. He thinks my dad could be his in. That’s my building on the left.”
Colton slowed the truck and pulled to the curb before killing the engine. The quiet that followed kind of freaked me out, especially after I’d been talking about Shaun.
I hadn’t lied, but I hadn’t been completely honest either. He’d only hurt me once while we’d been married. It was after the divorce that he’d gotten more physical. I’d refused to talk to him, to listen to his side of things again, and it had pissed him off. Usually, I was adept at avoiding him, but he’d managed to corner me a couple of times. Once he had pushed me down, and another time he’d grabbed my arm and tried to drag me off before Chad had caught him in the act. He’d stopped immediately and run off.
I had changed my number twice in the past two years, and we’d had to get new locks installed in the apartment once. Other than that, I’d been pretty lucky. He’d cut down his encounters to about once or twice a month these days. But I certainly didn’t want him to catch me hanging out with another man. I wasn’t completely sure how he’d react, but I didn’t want to learn either.
Wondering if he was out there right now, and loathing to step outside the security of Colton’s truck to find out, I gulped and began to shrug off his coat. “I guess I’d better give you this back now.”
But Colton was already opening the driver’s side door. “You can wait until we reach your door.”
I zipped my gaze to him. “You…no, you don’t have to walk me in.”
Except he was already outside and shutting his door. I ground my teeth and clambered after him. If Shaun had followed me home, I didn’t want Colton facing him alone.
As soon as he reached the sidewalk, I snagged his arm and yanked him to my side, not even caring if he could feel my breasts against him or not. Glancing up and down the dark street, I hustled us toward the front door.
Tripping after me to keep up, he gripped my waist to steady himself. “Shit. What the hell? You think he followed us or something?”
When I didn’t answer but dragged him into the building, he tightened his grip on my hip. “Baby doll?”
I growled when he forced us to a stop. “I don’t know, but I don’t want to risk it. I’m not sure how he’d react to me tonight.” Sometimes he smooth-talked and tried to charm his way back into my good graces. Sometimes he was more aggressive. “But I do know how he’d react to you. And it wouldn’t be good.”
Colton’s eyebrows arched. “Well, that’s unsettling.”
He started for the stairwell, only for me to pull on his arm. “I’m on the first floor,” I told him, pointing down the hall. We walked toward the third door on the right and I paused to unlock it before I faced him and blew out a breath.
“Thank you. I know I don’t deserve your help, but—”
“Save it,” he said, stepping past me and opening the door to my apartment before disappearing inside.
“Wha—hey! What do you think you’re doing?” I hurried in after him.
“If you even suspect he might’ve followed you home, I’m checking out the place to make sure he didn’t get in somehow.”
“Really, you don’t need to bother.” I trailed him past the couch in the front room and toward the opening of the kitchen. “We’ve already changed all the locks.”
That caused him to swerve an incredulous glance my way. “Which means he’s gotten in before. So yeah, I’m definitely checking the place now.”
He paused at the table and stole an apple Sasha had sitting in a basket in the middle. As his teeth sank into the red pulp, he moseyed back out of the kitchen.
“Help yourself,” I said dryly, only to hurry after him because I knew he’d start down the hall to the bedrooms next.
My mind spun, wondering if I’d made my bed or left worn underwear on the floor. Oh Jesus, I wasn’t sure what I thought about him entering my room. But my stomach swirled with an unnatural excitement, which kept me from stopping him in the living room.
“Hey, you owe me.” He waved the already half-eaten apple over his shoulder. “You kept throwing my supper out on the ground.”
He entered the bathroom first and flipped on a light, only to stop dead in the doorway. I was about to lecture him on how unhealthy it was to drink his supper, but he held up a finger and announced, “You have roommates.”
Wondering how he’d come up with that assumption, I glanced past him into the bathroom, but it looked the same as always to me, makeup and bathroom products everywhere.
“Yeah,” I said slowly. “Sasha and Tyla.”
“The tall one and the short one who were at the party tonight, booty grinding you?”
“Yes, why?” I shook my head, confused.
He shrugged. “I just figured you’d never leave a bathroom this messy. A bedroom, maybe. A bathroom, no.”
I scowled and almost told him he did not know me that well, but damn, it was kind of the truth. How the fuck did he know me that well?
“Bet I can figure out which
room is yours.” He stepped past me and entered the next doorway down the line. “Oh. Well, that was easy.”
He’d already flipped on the light when I entered after him. He stood only a few feet inside my room and gazed around at all my walls, or rather at the multitude of dream catchers I had hanging everywhere. After wandering to the closest one, he flicked a hanging feather with his finger and glanced back at me. “Which one was the first your dad bought you?”
I kept eye contact with him as I moved toward the bed and pointed out the only one hanging directly above my headboard. “This one.”
He nodded, smiling affectionately as he stared at it. “That one’s your favorite.”
Of course, he’d figured that out. I watched his face as he studied every little detail of that dream catcher, and I quietly murmured, “Yeah. It is.”
He slipped his attention to me. His chocolate brown eyes held so much sadness and longing that I was a split second from going to him when he turned away suddenly and exited the room.
I drew in a deep breath and pressed my hand to my diaphragm before stepping into the hallway too. I didn’t follow him into Sasha’s or Tyla’s quarters and he didn’t stay in them long, just checked for intruders, but I did wait just outside the door to meet him when he was done being a nice, thoughtful guy and making sure I was safe.
“See,” I told him, holding up both hands. “No ex-husband lurking about.”
He shook his head. “Nope. No ex-husbands.”
“Yeah, so…I guess you need this back now.” I reluctantly began to remove his jacket.
“Sure,” he said, “unless you wanted to keep it a while and sleep with it until you’ve worn my smell out of it.”
My mouth snapped open as I gasped. “Ugh. You…jerk. I was not sniffing your damn jacket.” I slapped it against his chest, which only made him chuckle.
“I didn’t suggest that you had already. Why? Had you?”
“No,” I snapped, only to scowl and mutter, “shut up.”
The bastard only laughed harder before he brought it to his own nose. “Damn,” he murmured, lowering it again. “I actually hoped it’d smell more like you when I got it back.”
I had this sudden acute vision of him leaning over me while I was stretched out and naked on a bed, while he sniffed every inch of my body. And my hormones flipped to arousal so fast I was tempted to squeeze my thighs together.
“You like my scent.” I’d started it out as a question, but it ended up sounding more like a statement of awe. But holy shit, knowing he liked my scent as much as I liked his was fucking intoxicating.
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, glancing down at me because I was suddenly close enough that he had to look down, which made me realize I’d just drifted right up into his personal space. And I wanted to drift even closer. “I like everything about you, baby doll.”
Yeah, I was going to drift even closer.
When his breathing changed and his chest moved as he sucked in oxygen, I knew he was as far gone as I was. I stared up at him, my skin practically buzzing with the need to feel him against me. My gaze coasted to his hair, which I wanted to clutch so bad, then to his lips that had parted and looked dewy moist as if he’d just licked them.
When I sank near, he mirrored me, shifting in as well. My eyelashes fluttered.
He drew in an audible breath, then said, “If you’re going to kiss me again, try not to mention my brother this time, okay?”
And bam. I was done.
Jerking backward, I gaped at him in horror. “You asshole.”
He shrugged as he slipped on his coat. “Hey, I was just setting ground rules. That was kind of a mood breaker for me the first time.”
I hugged myself, feeling humiliated and small. Unable to look him in the eye, I muttered, “Maybe you should just go.”
He nodded. “Yeah, maybe I should.”
But as soon as he turned away, a pounding came from the front of the apartment. When I heard the familiar muted shout of my ex, I grabbed Colton’s arm tight.
“Shit.”
He glanced at me, his eyes squinted as he listened to Shaun holler my name and claim he knew I was here. “Is that him?”
I nodded silently, my heart thumping a million miles per minute.
Colton turned as if to go confront him, but I latched on to his arm harder. “What’re you doing? Don’t go out there.”
“I’m going to tell him to leave you the hell alone.”
“No.” I wound my whole arm around his when he tried to break free. “It won’t work. I promise you. Seeing you will only piss him off more, and then it’ll be worse for me in the future. Please don’t make this worse for me.”
When he gaped at me as if I’d asked him to cut off his manhood, right at the penis, I begged more. “Colton, please. Think about this. What do you think confronting him will accomplish?”
“I think it’ll scare him off for good so you’d finally be free of him.”
“Armed with nothing but an apple core.” I sighed. “Yeah, I don’t think so, honey.”
“Hey, I could fling the apple in his face. It’d be super gross. He might just run off, screaming like a little bitch because I gave him my cooties. You never know.”
“You won’t scare him off,” I said dryly. “He’s bigger than you.”
He snorted as if that didn’t matter, but a second later, he paused and eyed me suspiciously. “How much bigger?”
“Like twice as big. And I can tell he’s been drinking. He’s not a pleasant drunk. If you do anything right now, this is just going to come back on me twice as hard later, so please—”
“Okay, fine!” he snapped, glowering. “I won’t do anything, but Jesus, I don’t like this. He shouldn’t be bothering you after two goddamn years. Hell, he should’ve stopped bothering you as soon as you divorced him.”
“It won’t last long, I swear. He barely sticks around five minutes these days.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have to deal with this. Not even five minutes of it.” His jaw popped as he glared down the hall. “I can’t believe you won’t let me take care of it.”
I began to stroke his arm. “Trust me, anything you did wouldn’t take care of it.”
“So you think,” he muttered, only to lift his attention when the hammering on my front door stopped abruptly.
“See,” I said with a sudden smile, waving out my hand. “He’s done already. Harassment over.”
“This is such bullshit,” he rumbled.
“It is,” I agreed, allowing him that. “But ignoring it works a hell of a lot better than feeding him attention whenever he comes knocking. Now that we’ve learned not to respond, he’s stopped bothering me almost completely now.”
The lifting of Colton’s eyebrow told me he was not impressed.
I kind of suddenly wanted to hug him. He had every reason to hate me right now. I’d treated him like crap the first nine months I’d known him, and the night I had finally begun to thaw, I’d mentioned his brother while his dick was literally in my hand. But despite the bitterness that was still evident in his treatment of me, he’d been protective from the very moment he’d figured out I was in distress. I couldn’t imagine a lot of guys would do that.
“So, anyway,” I murmured, clearing my throat and feeling my cheeks heat. I brushed my long bangs out of my eyes. “I won’t keep you any longer. Thanks for…well, everything.”
He just continued to stare at me as if he thought I was insane. “Right…” he said slowly. “Like I’m leaving you here alone after that just went down.”
His protectiveness made me want to just jump him with all kinds of melty, gooey nice emotions he’d instilled in me. But my independent nature rebelled and won out. “He’s gone now.” I pointed toward the exit, letting him know he should head that way, too. “There’s no reason for you to stay.”
“And you don’t think he’s loitering outside the building?”
I gulped. That would be bad. I didn’t want Shaun
messing with Colton.
Seeing my hesitation, he nodded, coming to his own conclusion. “I’m staying.”
When I opened my mouth to argue, he held up a hand. “Relax. I’m not asking to share a pillow. I’ll camp out here on the couch until your roommates make it home.”
JULIANNA’S CHAPTER | 13
The next morning, I woke up fifteen minutes before my alarm sounded. Sitting upright, I immediately checked my head scarf to make sure it hadn’t come off in the night, then I snapped my attention to the closed door of my room.
I knew he still couldn’t be out there. He’d said he would leave when my roommates came home, which made me bite my lip, wondering what Sasha and Tyla and possibly even their men had thought of that. I was already aware I would have a million questions to answer.
But I’d just be honest. I’d run into a classmate, and when I’d spotted Shaun in the crowd, I’d asked him to bring me home. Enough said. They’d totally understand.
Sure.
Things had been stilted and moody when I’d fetched him a blanket and pillow to sleep on. After he’d used the bathroom, I hadn’t checked on him again or even told him goodnight, which felt weird, but…I don’t know. The whole thing had been weird. Colton Gamble had crashed on my couch. I had no clue what to think of that.
The idea that he could even still be there—unlikely as it was—had me jittery and nervous, mostly because I didn’t know where I stood with him. I didn’t think he hated me completely. There’d been moments, some really strong, intense, amazing moments of non-hate. But I didn’t think he liked me either. His strife with me still made a very robust appearance. Frequently.
Most confusing of all, I wasn’t sure where he stood with me. I knew I didn’t hate him, yet liking him felt taboo. I just wanted all this friction to end, except I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to end in friendship (though I totally couldn’t picture myself being his friend) or with mutual dislike (which was an idea that only gave me an ulcer).
Too afraid to check the living room to see if he was still around, I hurried to the bathroom and rushed through my toiletries. After that, I returned to my room to finish dressing and fix my hair and face. When there was nothing left to do but see to my breakfast, I eyed the door of my room with distress.