"It's a huge trust issue, isn't it?"
"Yes, and I must be honest and tell you that it's harder to trust in some areas than others, but the possibility of the cancer returning is usually a settled issue for me."
"What isn't so settled for you?" Lily asked, but immediately shook her head. "I'm sorry. That was intrusive of me. Please don't feel you must answer."
"No, I don't mind at all. It's probably good for me to talk about it."
Lily nodded and waited for Gabe to define what he meant by
it.
"I was only 22 when the cancer was diagnosed. We were all in shock mostly me and so when the doctors told me I needed to prepare ahead of time if I ever wanted to have children of my
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own, I didn't do anything. I guess I had accepted the fact that I probably wouldn't live through the ordeal, so I missed my chance."
"And that's what plagues you at times?" "Yes."
"So you don't believe in adoption?" Lily asked, hardly believing she had voiced that thought.
"I think adoption is wonderful, but I'm not certain with my medical history that I would ever qualify."
Lily nodded. "I've read about how hard adoption can be in America."
"It's not hard in Kashien?"
"To adopt a baby? No. In fact, if I don't marry, I hope to adopt at least two children. I think it's best if children have a father and a mother, but I would still like to try."
"Is it easier for folks who live in Kashien?"
lily looked at him and saw that he was listening very closely.
"Not necessarily. As you can guess, boys are more treasured, so more questions might be asked, but many babies leave the country every year."
Gabe had many other things he wanted to know, but Evan and Peter joined them on the porch before he could continue.
"Am I interrupting?" Peter asked, and Lily could see that Evan had schooled him before they came out.
"We were talking, Peter, but that's fine," Gabe said. "What did you need?"
"I want to know if Lily can go to the beach with me for a little while before supper."
"Yes, I can," Lily said right away. "Shall we go now?"
He nodded and looked so sweet that Lily didn't think she could deny him anything.
"I was going to ask you, Peter," Lily said as she stood, "when is your grandmas birthday party?"
"Friday night. Niko will be here."
"WhoisNiko?"
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"His real name is Nikolo, but we call him Niko."
"How do you know him?" Lily tried again.
Still on the porch, Evan and Gabe missed the rest of Peters answer as he and Lily walked toward the path that led to the beach.
"Did we come out at the worst possible time?" Evan asked, eyes on his brother-in-law.
"No, it's all right. We're headed off tomorrow, so if I want to pick the conversation up again, I'll have a chance then."
"How are things going?"
Gabe sighed. "Well, all lights are green. I just don't know how to put my foot on the gas." "Meaning?"
"Meaning Jeff couldn't be more happy, and all of you are ecstatic, but Lily doesn't have a clue." "What will you do?"
"I won't be sneaky; I can tell you that. If Lily and I can't dialogue over the way I'm feeling, then there's no hope."
"I can see how you would want that, Gabe, but you might need to give her time once you bring the subject up."
"That's true," Gabe agreed, his eyes still on Lily and Peter's progress. "I know she's comfortable with me, and that's at least a start."
"That's how things began with Bales and me."
"Where is Bailey? I haven't seen her for hours."
"Sleeping. She was in a bit of panic about not wanting to forget any of the kids' things and wore herself out before we left."
"Her condition doesn't help, either. I remember at the end with Celia she slept all the time."
"Yeah. It's pretty typical to be worn out at the beginning and end."
Talk about naps made both men drowsy. Evan slouched down in his seat, and Gabe watched lily in the distance until he couldn't keep his lids open. Not surprisingly, he dozed off with her on his mind.
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Chapter 20
"The Big Island is famous for its orchids," the tour guide at Orchids of Hawaii said. Lily hung on every word, Gabe at her side. The colors and varieties they were shown were spectacular. Following the brief tour, they were taken inside and shown how to make leis.
Again Lily paid close attention, but this was a challenge. She concentrated through each step, but her lei did not look like Gabe's.
"How did you do that?" she asked when she looked over to see a perfect flower necklace hanging from his hand.
"I've had a little more practice than you have," he told her.
"I broke a few of my flowers," she told him, brow lowered in Celia fashion. "You didn't break any!"
Gabe had all he could do not to shout with laughter.
"Tell me what I did wrong."
"It's your first time, that's all."
Lily scowled down at her flowers and realized it wasn't such a bad job after all, but compared to Gabe's and the ones in the gift shop, it lacked a bit.
"I was going to give this to you," Lily told him, "but I don't think it's nice enough."
"It's fine," Gabe said as he placed his own necklace around her, placing his hands on her shoulders so he could bend and kiss her on both cheeks.
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"Thank you," she said softly, a little color coming to her face, not out of embarrassment, but pleasure. "You don't have to wear mine if you don't want to."
"I would be proud to wear yours."
Gabe wanted to tease her about not getting kissed when she put it around his neck, but another couple was close by, so he kept the thought to himself.
With that the time was over and they made their way out to the car. They buckled up once the air-conditioning was blasting into their faces, and Gabe pulled onto the street.
"Do you think you would like lunch now, or maybe you would like to see the zoo?"
Lily turned to look at him.
"Ashton said you don't like to take anyone to the zoo."
"Well, you're not just anyone. You're special."
Lily continued to look at him.
"Because I'm Jeff's sister," she stated.
"Well, that was the reason at the beginning," Gabe said, finding it easy to answer and use the excuse of driving to spare him from looking in her direction.
"But it's not the reason now?"
"Not the main reason, no."
Lily felt something she'd never known before. Just the odd sensation alone should have been enough to make her back down and stay quiet, but words came out of her before she could stop them.
"What's the main reason now?"
As though he'd timed it, the light turned red and Gabe had to stop. He turned to the woman who sat staring at him, met her eyes, and answered.
"The reason now is that I know who Lily is. She's more than just Jeff's sister. She's smart, and godly, and beautiful. But most of all, she's the sweetest woman I've ever known."
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The two stared at each other until the light changed. When Gabe turned back to drive, Lily also looked out through the windshield and worked at breathing.
"What are you thinking, Lily?" Gabe had to ask as he negotiated the car through traffic.
Sounding slightly breathless, Lily answered, "That it would be nice to talk to Jeff right now."
"What would you say to him?"
"I would ask him what he thinks of the two of us having feelings for each other." "He's all for it."
Lily's head turned swiftly back to Gabe. "You've talked to him?"
"I wrote him about my feelings, and then when I called him last week, he and I talked after you got off the phone." "Can you tell me what he said?"
"He said that the only good reason he could find for his going away was
if the two of us fell for each other."
"He said that?" Lily asked, her eyes huge and mouth opened. "Jefferson Walsh said that?"
Gabe had to smile. "That's what he said."
For a full minute the car was utterly silent. Gabe had no idea where he was going; he just drove. Lily was the first to speak.
"Gabe, I don't want to go to the zoo. I just want to sit somewhere and talk, even if it's just in the car. Can we do that?"
"We certainly can," Gabe answered, even as his heart tried to beat out of his chest.
Just as soon as he was able, he headed the car into a shady, palm-covered area. Using the automatic controls on his side, Gabe put all the windows down before turning the engine off. Removing his seat belt, he shifted to see Lily. His heart sank when he saw tears in her eyes.
"Can you tell me why you're ready to cry?"
Lily looked out over the hood.
"I think I can, if it's all right not to look at you."
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"That's fine."
"I feel almost disloyal," Lily admitted after a few moments. Hot air was coming at her from all sides, but she took little notice. "I love my father and my brother, but no one has ever made me feel as special as you have."
Lily glanced at him and then away. "At first I understood that it was who you are a warm, caring person but then I found myself hoping it could be more. I felt so selfish at times, but I wanted the way you treated me to be more than just the kind way you treat everyone."
"Do you now understand that it is?"
"I think so, but part of my heart is afraid to believe it. I know how I'm feeling, but I never really imagined that you might be feeling something too."
Gabe gave a soft laugh. "Well, it's good to know that I didn't overwhelm you. I thought the whole world could tell that I was falling for you."
Lily turned to look at him, and since Gabe had never taken his eyes off her, he was waiting to meet her eyes.
"Can it be possible that I've known you only a month?" Lily asked.
Gabe smiled. "It feels like much longer, doesn't it? But its probably a good idea if we both remember that it has been a short time."
Lily nodded. "Feelings run fast. That's what my friend Ling-lei would say."
"Ling-lei sounds like a wise woman."
Lily nodded. "She's a special friend and, yes, she is wise. She's taught me much and doesn't even know it."
"Why doesn't she know it?"
"Because it's not 'book learning,' as she would call it. She's taught me by example." "In what way?"
"Like so many women in the village, Ling is uneducated, so I'm teaching her to read. Because of that, she thinks I'm smart enough
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to have all the answers, but she's taught me so much about respect and how to love and take care of others, especially children.
"She was the person who was with me the most after my mother died. She's too young to be my mother, but she could easily be my sister."
"It sounds like she is," Gabe said. "A sister of your heart."
Lily looked at him. "That's what I mean. You're always so understanding and caring." Lily made herself keep eye contact, even as she felt her cheeks heat. "I didn't know anyone like you existed."
"Nor I you," Gabe said and reached for her hand. Lily melted a little when their fingers met. "I'm going to look so forward to getting to know you, Lily Walsh."
Lily found herself smiling. Gabe smiled too but noticed a small bead of sweat near Lily's temple.
"How about we find a nice, air-conditioned place to eat lunch?"
"That sounds very nice."
Gabe gave her fingers a little squeeze before letting go, and when the car's air-conditioning blew in her face, Lily closed her eyes.
I'm going to lose my heart to this man, Father, if I haven't already. I've never felt this way before, and 1 think that's why I know what my heart is going to do. Help me. I don't even know what I need help with, but please help me today.
"That's a faraway look," Evan said to his wife as he joined both Bailey and her mother on the porch.
"I was thinking about Ashton," she said with a drowsy sigh. "I think he misses Deanne so much that he doesn't quite know what to do with himself."
"He's trying, though," Evan said.
"Has he spoken to you, Evan?" Gloria asked.
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"Briefly. He wants to be thankful, and he's working to be, but he is very distracted, more so than he thought he would be in Deanne's absence."
The object of their conversation was coming toward them on the path, Celia on his back and Peter hanging on his front.
"He'll make it," Evan said confidently.
The women didn't reply, but watching Ashton laughing with his niece and nephew, they were inclined to agree.
"How is that sandwich?" "Very good. Do you want to try some?" "No, I'm in good shape. How about you? Do you want some of this fruit?"
"Maybe just a piece."
Gabe pushed his dish toward Lily, but she hesitated.
"May I change my mind and take two?"
His sigh was huge. "If you have to."
Lily heard his long-suffering tone and smiled as she speared a chunk of papaya and a slice of kiwi.
"And you're sure you don't want any of mine?"
"Yes. If you order dessert I might steal some, but I'm not all that crazy about corned beef."
"Is that what I'm eating?"
Gabe set his fork down.
"Did you not know what you ordered?"
"Yes and no. I knew it was a sandwich, but not what kind."
"So why did you order that?"
"Because the woman taking our order seemed to be in a hurry, so I just asked for the special."
"And you've never had a Reuben before?" Lily shook her head.
"My dad used to love them. You're eating corned beef, sauerkraut, Thousand Island dressing, and Swiss cheese on grilled rye bread."
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Lily looked down at her sandwich in surprise. "All that on one sandwich?"
"Yes, it's an unusual combination, but there are folks who love them."
"It is good."
Gabe looked thoughtful. "I was a kid the last time I tried one; maybe I should try again."
"Here." Lily lifted the sandwich toward him. "Have some bites."
For Gabe there was an intimacy in her offering him the sandwich she had been eating, but as he took a bite he knew Lily was oblivious to it. She was just being her usual sweet self.
"How is it?" Lily asked, leaning forward expectantly.
"It's good!" he said with surprise.
"Keep it. I'll eat the other half."
"Thank you."
Lily smiled as she went back to her plate, picking up a potato chip to put into her mouth.
"What's become your favorite food since arriving in Hawaii?" Gabe asked.
The chip was still in Lily's mouth, so it wasn't hard to decide. "Whatever I'm eating at the time," she said but then paused. "Unless gum is a food."
"You and your gum," Gabe teased. "I think we're talking about a serious addiction here."
"You might be right. I don't know what I'll do when I go back to Kashien."
Those words silenced the couple. They ate for a time, just the sounds of the restaurant and other diners around them. "Is there any chance you could stay?" "You mean longer or permanently?" "Permanently."
"No. I told my father I would return to him. I will extend my trip if Jeff does not come home on time, but I told my father I would be back."
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"I do admire the respect you show your father, Lily, but your leaving is not going to be fun for me."
"Will you write to me?"
"Yes, but I hope you won't be away too long."
Lily's face filled with regret. "It's expensive to come back, Gabe. I can't think it would be very soon."
"If money is the only problem, Lily, then it's not a problem at all."
"My father would never a
gree." "Tell me about him."
Lily's head tipped. "He's a man who loves people the way he thinks they need to be loved. He would never see himself as harsh, only just. But that's not the most difficult part. The hardest part only occurred to me after I arrived here."
"What is it?"
"You can't discuss things with him. I think you say 'dialogue.'"
Gabe nodded. "It's funny you should mention that. All I've prayed for the last week is that we would be able to dialogue about our feelings for each other. When you asked if we could skip the zoo and just talk, I knew that God had gone before us. I don't know what the future looks like, but being able to dialogue with you has meant everything to me.
"But now you tell me about your father, and I can't help but ask myself how you can be so open and ready to talk when your father isn't. Why aren't you more like him?"
"Because I've had people to talk with all along, Ling being one of them. Women in my country learn to be responders. If someone is kind to us, we respond with kindness. If someone is harsh, we know to retreat and hold our place and not trust that person so swiftly the next time. I have many kind women friends in Kashien, but to most Kashienese males women are invisible. Outside of Jeff, you are the first man who has treated me with deference. If my father would do the same, we could dialogue too."
"Your father doesn't know what he's missing."
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Lily felt shy at the compliment and dropped her eyes, but not before thanking Gabe. They both went back to their food, but not two minutes passed before they were talking again.
"Hey, Mom," Gabe sought her out in the family room as soon as they were back at the house, "I'm going to let Lily use the phone in your room. Is that all right?"
"Certainly. Did you two have a good time?"
"Yes. Very."
Gabe found Lily still by the front door and took her through the living room and down the hall.
"Are you sure about this?" Lily asked for the fourth time.
"Yes. Just give him a call and tell him we're at this number. I know you want to talk to him."
"But the cost. We'll be back at your house on Saturday."
Gabe looked at her. He didn't want to treat her like a child, even though the temptation to protect her was very strong within him. He made himself listen and not roll over the top of her objections.