them.  As you go through the streets, these architectural beauties
   keep the eye continually charmed:  now it is a marble fountain,
   with its arabesque and carved overhanging roof, which you can look
   at with as much pleasure as an antique gem, so neat and brilliant
   is the execution of it; then, you come to the arched entrance to a
   mosque, which shoots up like--like what?--like the most beautiful
   pirouette by Taglioni, let us say.  This architecture is not
   sublimely beautiful, perfect loveliness and calm, like that which
   was revealed to us at the Parthenon (and in comparison of which the
   Pantheon and Colosseum are vulgar and coarse, mere broad-shouldered
   Titans before ambrosial Jove); but these fantastic spires, and
   cupolas, and galleries, excite, amuse, tickle the imagination, so
   to speak, and perpetually fascinate the eye.  There were very few
   believers in the famous mosque of Sultan Hassan when we visited it,
   except the Moslemitish beadle, who was on the look-out for
   backsheesh, just like his brother officer in an English cathedral;
   and who, making us put on straw slippers, so as not to pollute the
   sacred pavement of the place, conducted us through it.
   It is stupendously light and airy; the best specimens of Norman art
   that I have seen (and surely the Crusaders must have carried home
   the models of these heathenish temples in their eyes) do not exceed
   its noble grace and simplicity.  The mystics make discoveries at
   home, that the Gothic architecture is Catholicism carved in stone--
   (in which case, and if architectural beauty is a criterion or
   expression of religion, what a dismal barbarous creed must that
   expressed by the Bethesda meeting-house and Independent chapels
   be?)--if, as they would gravely hint, because Gothic architecture
   is beautiful, Catholicism is therefore lovely and right,--why,
   Mahometanism must have been right and lovely too once.  Never did a
   creed possess temples more elegant; as elegant as the Cathedral at
   Rouen, or the Baptistery at Pisa.
   But it is changed now.  There was nobody at prayers; only the
   official beadles, and the supernumerary guides, who came for
   backsheesh.  Faith hath degenerated.  Accordingly they can't build
   these mosques, or invent these perfect forms, any more.  Witness
   the tawdry incompleteness and vulgarity of the Pasha's new temple,
   and the woful failures among the very late edifices in
   Constantinople!
   However, they still make pilgrimages to Mecca in great force.  The
   Mosque of Hassan is hard by the green plain on which the Hag
   encamps before it sets forth annually on its pious peregrination.
   It was not yet its time, but I saw in the bazaars that redoubted
   Dervish, who is the master of the Hag--the leader of every
   procession, accompanying the sacred camel; and a personage almost
   as much respected as Mr. O'Connell in Ireland.
   This fellow lives by alms (I mean the head of the Hag).  Winter and
   summer he wears no clothes but a thin and scanty white shirt.  He
   wields a staff, and stalks along scowling and barefoot.  His
   immense shock of black hair streams behind him, and his brown
   brawny body is curled over with black hair, like a savage man.
   This saint has the largest harem in the town; he is said to be
   enormously rich by the contributions he has levied; and is so
   adored for his holiness by the infatuated folk, that when he
   returns from the Hag (which he does on horseback, the chief Mollahs
   going out to meet him and escort him home in state along the
   Ezbekieh road), the people fling themselves down under the horse's
   feet, eager to be trampled upon and killed, and confident of heaven
   if the great Hadji's horse will but kick them into it.  Was it my
   fault if I thought of Hadji Daniel, and the believers in him?
   There was no Dervish of repute on the plain when I passed; only one
   poor wild fellow, who was dancing, with glaring eyes and grizzled
   beard, rather to the contempt of the bystanders, as I thought, who
   by no means put coppers into his extended bowl.  On this poor
   devil's head there was a poorer devil still--a live cock, entirely
   plucked, but ornamented with some bits of ragged tape and scarlet
   and tinsel, the most horribly grotesque and miserable object I ever
   saw.
   A little way from him, there was a sort of play going on--a clown
   and a knowing one, like Widdicombe and the clown with us,--the
   buffoon answering with blundering responses, which made all the
   audience shout with laughter; but the only joke which was
   translated to me would make you do anything but laugh, and shall
   therefore never be revealed by these lips.  All their humour, my
   dragoman tells me, is of this questionable sort; and a young
   Egyptian gentleman, son of a Pasha, whom I subsequently met at
   Malta, confirmed the statement, and gave a detail of the practices
   of private life which was anything but edifying.  The great aim of
   woman, he said, in the much-maligned Orient, is to administer to
   the brutality of her lord; her merit is in knowing how to vary the
   beast's pleasures.  He could give us no idea, he said, of the wit
   of the Egyptian women, and their skill in double entendre; nor, I
   presume, did we lose much by our ignorance.  What I would urge,
   humbly, however, is this--Do not let us be led away by German
   writers and aesthetics, Semilassoisms, Hahnhahnisms, and the like.
   The life of the East is a life of brutes.  The much maligned
   Orient, I am confident, has not been maligned near enough; for the
   good reason that none of us can tell the amount of horrible
   sensuality practised there.
   Beyond the Jack-pudding rascal and his audience, there was on the
   green a spot, on which was pointed out to me a mark, as of blood.
   That morning the blood had spouted from the neck of an Arnaoot
   soldier, who had been executed for murder.  These Arnaoots are the
   curse and terror of the citizens.  Their camps are without the
   city; but they are always brawling, or drunken, or murdering
   within, in spite of the rigid law which is applied to them, and
   which brings one or more of the scoundrels to death almost every
   week.
   Some of our party had seen this fellow borne by the hotel the day
   before, in the midst of a crowd of soldiers who had apprehended
   him.  The man was still formidable to his score of captors:  his
   clothes had been torn off; his limbs were bound with cords; but he
   was struggling frantically to get free; and my informant described
   the figure and appearance of the naked, bound, writhing savage, as
   quite a model of beauty.
   Walking in the street, this fellow had just before been struck by
   the looks of a woman who was passing, and laid hands on her.  She
   ran away, and he pursued her.  She ran into the police-barrack,
   which was luckily hard by; but the Arnaoot was nothing daunted, and
   followed into the midst of the police.  One of them tried to stop
   him.  The Arnaoot pulled out a pistol, and shot the policeman dead.
   He cut down three or four more before he was secured.  He knew his
					     					 			br />   inevitable end must be death:  that he could not seize upon the
   woman:  that he could not hope to resist half a regiment of armed
   soldiers:  yet his instinct of lust and murder was too strong; and
   so he had his head taken off quite calmly this morning, many of his
   comrades attending their brother's last moments.  He cared not the
   least about dying; and knelt down and had his head off as coolly as
   if he were looking on at the same ceremony performed on another.
   When the head was off, and the blood was spouting on the ground, a
   married woman, who had no children, came forward very eagerly out
   of the crowd, to smear herself with it,--the application of
   criminals' blood being considered a very favourable medicine for
   women afflicted with barrenness,--so she indulged in this remedy.
   But one of the Arnaoots standing near said, "What, you like blood,
   do you?" (or words to that effect).  "Let's see how yours mixes
   with my comrade's."  And thereupon, taking out a pistol, he shot
   the woman in the midst of the crowd and the guards who were
   attending the execution; was seized of course by the latter; and no
   doubt to-morrow morning will have HIS head off too.  It would be a
   good chapter to write--the Death of the Arnaoot--but I shan't go.
   Seeing one man hanged is quite enough in the course of a life.  J'y
   ai ete, as the Frenchman said of hunting.
   These Arnaoots are the terror of the town.  They seized hold of an
   Englishman the other day, and were very nearly pistolling him.
   Last week one of them murdered a shopkeeper at Boulak, who refused
   to sell him a water-melon at a price which he, the soldier, fixed
   upon it.  So, for the matter of three-halfpence, he killed the
   shopkeeper; and had his own rascally head chopped off, universally
   regretted by his friends.  Why, I wonder, does not His Highness the
   Pasha invite the Arnaoots to a dejeuner at the Citadel, as he did
   the Mamelukes, and serve them up the same sort of breakfast?  The
   walls are considerably heightened since Emin Bey and his horse
   leapt them, and it is probable that not one of them would escape.
   This sort of pistol practice is common enough here, it would
   appear; and not among the Arnaoots merely, but the higher orders.
   Thus, a short time since, one of His Highness's grandsons, whom I
   shall call Bluebeard Pasha (lest a revelation of the name of the
   said Pasha might interrupt our good relations with his country)--
   one of the young Pashas being rather backward in his education, and
   anxious to learn mathematics, and the elegant deportment of
   civilised life, sent to England for a tutor.  I have heard he was a
   Cambridge man, and had learned both algebra and politeness under
   the Reverend Doctor Whizzle, of--College.
   One day when Mr. MacWhirter, B.A., was walking in Shoubra Gardens,
   with His Highness the young Bluebeard Pasha, inducting him into the
   usages of polished society, and favouring him with reminiscences of
   Trumpington, there came up a poor fellah, who flung himself at the
   feet of young Bluebeard, and calling for justice in a loud and
   pathetic voice, and holding out a petition, besought His Highness
   to cast a gracious eye upon the same, and see that his slave had
   justice done him.
   Bluebeard Pasha was so deeply engaged and interested by his
   respected tutor's conversation, that he told the poor fellah to go
   to the deuce, and resumed the discourse which his ill-timed outcry
   for justice had interrupted.  But the unlucky wight of a fellah was
   pushed by his evil destiny, and thought he would make yet another
   application.  So he took a short cut down one of the garden lanes,
   and as the Prince and the Reverend Mr. MacWhirter, his tutor, came
   along once more engaged in pleasant disquisition, behold the fellah
   was once more in their way, kneeling at the august Bluebeard's
   feet, yelling out for justice as before, and thrusting his petition
   into the Royal face.
   When the Prince's conversation was thus interrupted a second time,
   his Royal patience and clemency were at an end.  "Man," said he,
   "once before I bade thee not to pester me with thy clamour, and lo!
   you have disobeyed me,--take the consequences of disobedience to a
   Prince, and thy blood be upon thine own head."  So saying, he drew
   out a pistol and blew out the brains of that fellah, so that he
   never bawled out for justice any more.
   The Reverend Mr. MacWhirter was astonished at this sudden mode of
   proceeding:  "Gracious Prince," said he, "we do not shoot an
   undergraduate at Cambridge even for walking over a college grass-
   plot.--Let me suggest to your Royal Highness that this method of
   ridding yourself of a poor devil's importunities is such as we
   should consider abrupt and almost cruel in Europe.  Let me beg you
   to moderate your Royal impetuosity for the future; and, as your
   Highness's tutor, entreat you to be a little less prodigal of your
   powder and shot."
   "O Mollah!" said His Highness, here interrupting his governor's
   affectionate appeal,--"you are good to talk about Trumpington and
   the Pons Asinorum, but if you interfere with the course of justice
   in any way, or prevent me from shooting any dog of an Arab who
   snarls at my heels, I have another pistol; and, by the beard of the
   Prophet! a bullet for you too."  So saying he pulled out the
   weapon, with such a terrific and significant glance at the Reverend
   Mr. MacWhirter, that that gentleman wished himself back in his
   Combination Room again; and is by this time, let us hope, safely
   housed there.
   Another facetious anecdote, the last of those I had from a well-
   informed gentleman residing at Cairo, whose name (as many copies of
   this book that is to be will be in the circulating libraries there)
   I cannot, for obvious reasons, mention.  The revenues of the
   country come into the august treasury through the means of farmers,
   to whom the districts are let out, and who are personally
   answerable for their quota of the taxation.  This practice involves
   an intolerable deal of tyranny and extortion on the part of those
   engaged to levy the taxes, and creates a corresponding duplicity
   among the fellahs, who are not only wretchedly poor among
   themselves, but whose object is to appear still more poor, and
   guard their money from their rapacious overseers.  Thus the Orient
   is much maligned; but everybody cheats there:  that is a melancholy
   fact.  The Pasha robs and cheats the merchants; knows that the
   overseer robs him, and bides his time, until he makes him disgorge
   by the application of the tremendous bastinado; the overseer robs
   and squeezes the labourer; and the poverty-stricken devil cheats
   and robs in return; and so the government moves in a happy cycle of
   roguery.
   Deputations from the fellahs and peasants come perpetually before
   the august presence, to complain of the cruelty and exactions of
   the chiefs set over them:  but, as it is known that the Arab never
   will pay without the bastinado, their complaints, for the most
   part, meet wi 
					     					 			th but little attention.  His Highness's treasury must
   be filled, and his officers supported in their authority.
   However, there was one village, of which the complaints were so
   pathetic, and the inhabitants so supremely wretched, that the Royal
   indignation was moved at their story, and the chief of the village,
   Skinflint Beg, was called to give an account of himself at Cairo.
   When he came before the presence, Mehemet Ali reproached him with
   his horrible cruelty and exactions; asked him how he dared to treat
   his faithful and beloved subjects in this way, and threatened him
   with disgrace, and the utter confiscation of his property, for thus
   having reduced a district to ruin.
   "Your Highness says I have reduced these fellahs to ruin," said
   Skinflint Beg:  "what is the best way to confound my enemies, and
   to show you the falsehood of their accusations that I have ruined
   them?--To bring more money from them.  If I bring you five hundred
   purses from my village, will you acknowledge that my people are not
   ruined yet?"
   The heart of the Pasha was touched:  "I will have no more
   bastinadoing, O Skinflint Beg; you have tortured these poor people
   so much, and have got so little from them, that my Royal heart
   relents for the present, and I will have them suffer no farther."
   "Give me free leave--give me your Highness's gracious pardon, and I
   will bring the five hundred purses as surely as my name is
   Skinflint Beg.  I demand only the time to go home, the time to
   return, and a few days to stay, and I will come back as honestly as
   Regulus Pasha did to the Carthaginians,--I will come back and make
   my face white before your Highness."
   Skinflint Beg's prayer for a reprieve was granted, and he returned
   to his village, where he forthwith called the elders together.  "O
   friends," he said, "complaints of our poverty and misery have
   reached the Royal throne, and the benevolent heart of the Sovereign
   has been melted by the words that have been poured into his ears.
   'My heart yearns towards my people of El Muddee,' he says; 'I have
   thought how to relieve their miseries.  Near them lies the fruitful
   land of El Guanee.  It is rich in maize and cotton, in sesame and
   barley; it is worth a thousand purses; but I will let it to my
   children for seven hundred, and I will give over the rest of the
   profit to them, as an alleviation for their affliction.'"
   The elders of El Muddee knew the great value and fertility of the
   lands of Guanee, but they doubted the sincerity of their governor,
   who, however, dispelled their fears, and adroitly quickened their
   eagerness to close with the proffered bargain.  "I will myself
   advance two hundred and fifty purses," he said; "do you take
   counsel among yourselves, and subscribe the other five hundred; and
   when the sum is ready, a deputation of you shall carry it to Cairo,
   and I will come with my share; and we will lay the whole at the
   feet of His Highness."  So the grey-bearded ones of the village
   advised with one another; and those who had been inaccessible to
   bastinadoes, somehow found money at the calling of interest; and
   the Sheikh, and they, and the five hundred purses, set off on the
   road to the capital.
   When they arrived, Skinflint Beg and the elders of El Muddee sought
   admission to the Royal throne, and there laid down their purses.
   "Here is your humble servant's contribution," said Skinflint,
   producing his share; "and here is the offering of your loyal
   village of El Muddee.  Did I not before say that enemies and
   deceivers had maligned me before the august presence, pretending
   that not a piastre was left in my village, and that my extortion
   had entirely denuded the peasantry?  See! here is proof that there
   is plenty of money still in El Muddee:  in twelve hours the elders
   have subscribed five hundred purses, and lay them at the feet of
   their lord."
   Instead of the bastinado, Skinflint Beg was instantly rewarded with
   the Royal favour, and the former mark of attention was bestowed