other three before the tour is done)--seemed to be enjoying, I say,
   the above-named Greek quotation at our expense.  Here is the dismal
   log of Wednesday, 4th of September: --"All attempts at dining very
   fruitless.  Basins in requisition.  Wind hard ahead.  Que diable
   allais-je faire dans cette galere?  Writing or thinking impossible:
   so read 'Letters from the AEgean.'"  These brief words give, I
   think, a complete idea of wretchedness, despair, remorse, and
   prostration of soul and body.  Two days previously we passed the
   forts and moles and yellow buildings of Algiers, rising very
   stately from the sea, and skirted by gloomy purple lines of African
   shore, with fires smoking in the mountains, and lonely settlements
   here and there.
   On the 5th, to the inexpressible joy of all, we reached Valetta,
   the entrance to the harbour of which is one of the most stately and
   agreeable scenes ever admired by sea-sick traveller.  The small
   basin was busy with a hundred ships, from the huge guard-ship,
   which lies there a city in itself;--merchantmen loading and crews
   cheering, under all the flags of the world flaunting in the
   sunshine; a half-score of busy black steamers perpetually coming
   and going, coaling and painting, and puffing and hissing in and out
   of harbour; slim men-of-war's barges shooting to and fro, with long
   shining oars flashing like wings over the water; hundreds of
   painted town-boats, with high heads and white awnings,--down to the
   little tubs in which some naked, tawny young beggars came paddling
   up to the steamer, entreating us to let them dive for halfpence.
   Round this busy blue water rise rocks, blazing in sunshine, and
   covered with every imaginable device of fortification; to the
   right, St. Elmo, with flag and lighthouse; and opposite, the
   Military Hospital, looking like a palace; and all round, the houses
   of the city, for its size the handsomest and most stately in the
   world.
   Nor does it disappoint you on a closer inspection, as many a
   foreign town does.  The streets are thronged with a lively
   comfortable-looking population; the poor seem to inhabit handsome
   stone palaces, with balconies and projecting windows of heavy
   carved stone.  The lights and shadows, the cries and stenches, the
   fruit-shops and fish-stalls, the dresses and chatter of all
   nations; the soldiers in scarlet, and women in black mantillas; the
   beggars, boat-men, barrels of pickled herrings and macaroni; the
   shovel-hatted priests and bearded capuchins; the tobacco, grapes,
   onions, and sunshine; the signboards, bottled-porter stores, the
   statues of saints and little chapels which jostle the stranger's
   eyes as he goes up the famous stairs from the Water-gate, make a
   scene of such pleasant confusion and liveliness as I have never
   witnessed before.  And the effect of the groups of multitudinous
   actors in this busy cheerful drama is heightened, as it were, by
   the decorations of the stage.  The sky is delightfully brilliant;
   all the houses and ornaments are stately; castle and palaces are
   rising all around; and the flag, towers, and walls of Fort St. Elmo
   look as fresh and magnificent as if they had been erected only
   yesterday.
   The Strada Reale has a much more courtly appearance than that one
   described.  Here are palaces, churches, court-houses and libraries,
   the genteel London shops, and the latest articles of perfumery.
   Gay young officers are strolling about in shell-jackets much too
   small for them:  midshipmen are clattering by on hired horses;
   squads of priests, habited after the fashion of Don Basilio in the
   opera, are demurely pacing to and fro; professional beggars run
   shrieking after the stranger; and agents for horses, for inns, and
   for worse places still, follow him and insinuate the excellence of
   their goods.  The houses where they are selling carpet-bags and
   pomatum were the palaces of the successors of the goodliest company
   of gallant knights the world ever heard tell of.  It seems
   unromantic; but THESE were not the romantic Knights of St. John.
   The heroic days of the Order ended as the last Turkish galley
   lifted anchor after the memorable siege.  The present stately
   houses were built in times of peace and splendour and decay.  I
   doubt whether the Auberge de Provence, where the "Union Club"
   flourishes now, has ever seen anything more romantic than the
   pleasant balls held in the great room there.
   The Church of St. John, not a handsome structure without, is
   magnificent within:  a noble hall covered with a rich embroidery of
   gilded carving, the chapels of the different nations on either
   side, but not interfering with the main structure, of which the
   whole is simple, and the details only splendid; it seemed to me a
   fitting place for this wealthy body of aristocratic soldiers, who
   made their devotions as it were on parade, and, though on their
   knees, never forgot their epaulets or their quarters of nobility.
   This mixture of religion and worldly pride seems incongruous at
   first; but have we not at church at home similar relics of feudal
   ceremony?--the verger with the silver mace who precedes the vicar
   to the desk; the two chaplains of my Lord Archbishop, who bow over
   his Grace as he enters the communion-table gate; even poor John,
   who follows my Lady with a coroneted prayer-book, and makes his
   conge as he hands it into the pew.  What a chivalrous absurdity is
   the banner of some high and mighty prince, hanging over his stall
   in Windsor Chapel, when you think of the purpose for which men are
   supposed to assemble there!  The Church of the Knights of St. John
   is paved over with sprawling heraldic devices of the dead gentlemen
   of the dead Order; as if, in the next world, they expected to take
   rank in conformity with their pedigrees, and would be marshalled
   into heaven according to the orders of precedence.  Cumbrous
   handsome paintings adorn the walls and chapels, decorated with
   pompous monuments of Grand Masters.  Beneath is a crypt, where more
   of these honourable and reverend warriors lie, in a state that a
   Simpson would admire.  In the altar are said to lie three of the
   most gallant relics in the world:  the keys of Acre, Rhodes, and
   Jerusalem.  What blood was shed in defending these emblems!  What
   faith, endurance, genius, and generosity; what pride, hatred,
   ambition, and savage lust of blood were roused together for their
   guardianship!
   In the lofty halls and corridors of the Governor's house, some
   portraits of the late Grand Masters still remain:  a very fine one,
   by Caravaggio, of a knight in gilt armour, hangs in the dining-
   room, near a full-length of poor Louis XVI., in Royal robes, the
   very picture of uneasy impotency.  But the portrait of De
   Vignacourt is the only one which has a respectable air; the other
   chiefs of the famous Society are pompous old gentlemen in black,
   with huge periwigs, and crowns round their hats, and a couple of
   melancholy pages in yellow and red.  But pages and wigs and Grand
   Maste 
					     					 			rs have almost faded out of the canvas, and are vanishing into
   Hades with a most melancholy indistinctness.  The names of most of
   these gentlemen, however, live as yet in the forts of the place,
   which all seem to have been eager to build and christen:  so that
   it seems as if, in the Malta mythology, they had been turned into
   freestone.
   In the armoury is the very suit painted by Caravaggio, by the side
   of the armour of the noble old La Valette, whose heroism saved his
   island from the efforts of Mustapha and Dragut, and an army quite
   as fierce and numerous as that which was baffled before Gibraltar,
   by similar courage and resolution.  The sword of the last-named
   famous corsair (a most truculent little scimitar), thousands of
   pikes and halberts, little old cannons and wall-pieces, helmets and
   cuirasses, which the knights or their people wore, are trimly
   arranged against the wall, and, instead of spiking Turks or arming
   warriors, now serve to point morals and adorn tales.  And here
   likewise are kept many thousand muskets, swords, and boarding-pikes
   for daily use, and a couple of ragged old standards of one of the
   English regiments, who pursued and conquered in Egypt the remains
   of the haughty and famous French republican army, at whose
   appearance the last knights of Malta flung open the gates of all
   their fortresses, and consented to be extinguished without so much
   as a remonstrance, or a kick, or a struggle.
   We took a drive into what may be called the country; where the
   fields are rocks, and the hedges are stones--passing by the stone
   gardens of the Florian, and wondering at the number and
   handsomeness of the stone villages and churches rising everywhere
   among the stony hills.  Handsome villas were passed everywhere, and
   we drove for a long distance along the sides of an aqueduct, quite
   a Royal work of the Caravaggio in gold armour, the Grand Master De
   Vignacourt.  A most agreeable contrast to the arid rocks of the
   general scenery was the garden at the Governor's country-house;
   with the orange-trees and water, its beautiful golden grapes,
   luxuriant flowers, and thick cool shrubberies.  The eye longs for
   this sort of refreshment, after being seared with the hot glare of
   the general country; and St. Antonio was as pleasant after Malta as
   Malta was after the sea.
   We paid the island a subsequent visit in November, passing
   seventeen days at an establishment called Fort Manuel there, and by
   punsters the Manuel des Voyageurs; where Government accommodates
   you with quarters; where the authorities are so attentive as to
   scent your letters with aromatic vinegar before you receive them,
   and so careful of your health as to lock you up in your room every
   night lest you should walk in your sleep, and so over the
   battlements into the sea--if you escaped drowning in the sea, the
   sentries on the opposite shore would fire at you, hence the nature
   of the precaution.  To drop, however, this satirical strain:  those
   who know what quarantine is, may fancy that the place somehow
   becomes unbearable in which it has been endured.  And though the
   November climate of Malta is like the most delicious May in
   England, and though there is every gaiety and amusement in the
   town, a comfortable little opera, a good old library filled full of
   good old books (none of your works of modern science, travel, and
   history, but good old USELESS books of the last two centuries), and
   nobody to trouble you in reading them, and though the society of
   Valetta is most hospitable, varied, and agreeable, yet somehow one
   did not feel SAFE in the island, with perpetual glimpses of Fort
   Manuel from the opposite shore; and, lest the quarantine
   authorities should have a fancy to fetch one back again, on a
   pretext of posthumous plague, we made our way to Naples by the very
   first opportunity--those who remained, that is, of the little
   Eastern Expedition.  They were not all there.  The Giver of life
   and death had removed two of our company:  one was left behind to
   die in Egypt, with a mother to bewail his loss, another we buried
   in the dismal lazaretto cemetery.
   * * *
   One is bound to look at this, too, as a part of our journey.
   Disease and death are knocking perhaps at your next cabin door.
   Your kind and cheery companion has ridden his last ride and emptied
   his last glass beside you.  And while fond hearts are yearning for
   him far away, and his own mind, if conscious, is turning eagerly
   towards the spot of the world whither affection or interest calls
   it--the Great Father summons the anxious spirit from earth to
   himself, and ordains that the nearest and dearest shall meet here
   no more.
   Such an occurrence as a death in a lazaretto, mere selfishness
   renders striking.  We were walking with him but two days ago on
   deck.  One has a sketch of him, another his card, with the address
   written yesterday, and given with an invitation to come and see him
   at home in the country, where his children are looking for him.  He
   is dead in a day, and buried in the walls of the prison.  A doctor
   felt his pulse by deputy--a clergyman comes from the town to read
   the last service over him--and the friends, who attend his funeral,
   are marshalled by lazaretto-guardians, so as not to touch each
   other.  Every man goes back to his room and applies the lesson to
   himself.  One would not so depart without seeing again the dear
   dear faces.  We reckon up those we love:  they are but very few,
   but I think one loves them better than ever now.  Should it be your
   turn next?--and why not?  Is it pity or comfort to think of that
   affection which watches and survives you?
   The Maker has linked together the whole race of man with this chain
   of love.  I like to think that there is no man but has had kindly
   feelings for some other, and he for his neighbour, until we bind
   together the whole family of Adam.  Nor does it end here.  It joins
   heaven and earth together.  For my friend or my child of past days
   is still my friend or my child to me here, or in the home prepared
   for us by the Father of all.  If identity survives the grave, as
   our faith tells us, is it not a consolation to think that there may
   be one or two souls among the purified and just, whose affection
   watches us invisible, and follows the poor sinner on earth?
   CHAPTER V:  ATHENS
   Not feeling any enthusiasm myself about Athens, my bounden duty of
   course is clear, to sneer and laugh heartily at all who have.  In
   fact, what business has a lawyer, who was in Pump Court this day
   three weeks, and whose common reading is law reports or the
   newspaper, to pretend to fall in love for the long vacation with
   mere poetry, of which I swear a great deal is very doubtful, and to
   get up an enthusiasm quite foreign to his nature and usual calling
   in life?  What call have ladies to consider Greece "romantic," they
   who get their notions of mythology from the well-known pages of
   "Tooke's Pantheon"?  What is the reason that blundering Yorkshire
					     					 			/>
   squires, young dandies from Corfu regiments, jolly sailors from
   ships in the harbour, and yellow old Indians returning from
   Bundelcund, should think proper to be enthusiastic about a country
   of which they know nothing; the mere physical beauty of which they
   cannot, for the most part, comprehend; and because certain
   characters lived in it two thousand four hundred years ago?  What
   have these people in common with Pericles, what have these ladies
   in common with Aspasia (O fie)?  Of the race of Englishmen who come
   wandering about the tomb of Socrates, do you think the majority
   would not have voted to hemlock him?  Yes:  for the very same
   superstition which leads men by the nose now, drove them onward in
   the days when the lowly husband of Xantippe died for daring to
   think simply and to speak the truth.  I know of no quality more
   magnificent in fools than their faith:  that perfect consciousness
   they have, that they are doing virtuous and meritorious actions,
   when they are performing acts of folly, murdering Socrates, or
   pelting Aristides with holy oyster-shells--all for Virtue's sake;
   and a "History of Dulness in all Ages of the World," is a book
   which a philosopher would surely be hanged, but as certainly
   blessed, for writing.
   If papa and mamma (honour be to them!) had not followed the faith
   of their fathers, and thought proper to send away their only
   beloved son (afterwards to be celebrated under the name of
   Titmarsh) into ten years' banishment of infernal misery, tyranny,
   annoyance; to give over the fresh feelings of the heart of the
   little Michael Angelo to the discipline of vulgar bullies, who, in
   order to lead tender young children to the Temple of Learning (as
   they do in the spelling-books), drive them on with clenched fists
   and low abuse; if they fainted, revive them with a thump, or
   assailed them with a curse; if they were miserable, consoled them
   with a brutal jeer--if, I say, my dear parents, instead of giving
   me the inestimable benefit of a ten years' classical education, had
   kept me at home with my dear thirteen sisters, it is probable I
   should have liked this country of Attica, in sight of the blue
   shores of which the present pathetic letter is written; but I was
   made so miserable in youth by a classical education, that all
   connected with it is disagreeable in my eyes; and I have the same
   recollection of Greek in youth that I have of castor-oil.
   So in coming in sight of the promontory of Sunium, where the Greek
   Muse, in an awful vision, came to me, and said in a patronising
   way, "Why, my dear" (she always, the old spinster, adopts this high
   and mighty tone)--"Why, my dear, are you not charmed to be in this
   famous neighbourhood, in this land of poets and heroes, of whose
   history your classical education ought to have made you a master?
   if it did not, you have wofully neglected your opportunities, and
   your dear parents have wasted their money in sending you to
   school."  I replied, "Madam, your company in youth was made so
   laboriously disagreeable to me, that I can't at present reconcile
   myself to you in age.  I read your poets, but it was in fear and
   trembling; and a cold sweat is but an ill accompaniment to poetry.
   I blundered through your histories; but history is so dull (saving
   your presence) of herself, that when the brutal dulness of a
   schoolmaster is superadded to her own slow conversation, the union
   becomes intolerable:  hence I have not the slightest pleasure in
   renewing my acquaintance with a lady who has been the source of so
   much bodily and mental discomfort to me."  To make a long story
   short, I am anxious to apologise for a want of enthusiasm in the
   classical line, and to excuse an ignorance which is of the most
   undeniable sort.
   This is an improper frame of mind for a person visiting the land of
   AEschylus and Euripides; add to which, we have been abominably
   overcharged at the inn:  and what are the blue hills of Attica, the
   silver calm basin of Piraeus, the heathery heights of Pentelicus,