“So you didn’t accidentally run into the Sebastians. You were trying to find them.”
“And I was a little more successful than I wanted to be.”
“You could have been killed, Matthew.”
“Thanks to Smoky’s speed, I wasn’t. All’s well that ends well. Now we just have to figure out what to do.”
“Have you any ideas?” She glanced worriedly over her shoulder.
In order to get out of this mess, Matthew felt that they would have to ride hard in an unpredictable pattern, possibly without rest for a prolonged period. He knew Eden wasn’t strong enough yet to endure that kind of punishment. Her ribs had nearly healed, but she was still too pale for his liking and growing thinner by the day. He explained what he felt needed to be done and then gently informed her that he didn’t believe she had it left in her to ride that hard without rest.
“I’ll just have to do it, that’s all,” she said. “If they’ve changed tactics, we have no choice but to get out of this area and lose them.”
Actually there was one other choice, though he feared what her reaction might be when he told her. Nevertheless, he had to share what he was thinking, and soon. He didn’t want to be accused of playing games with her again.
“There is another way,” he said carefully. “I can load up the bay gelding with some stuff from Herman’s packs to make it look as if the bay is carrying your weight. Then I can find a safe hiding place for you and make the ride by myself. When I’m sure I’ve led them a merry chase and have them heading to hell and gone in the wrong direction, I can circle back to you.”
Eden’s chin shot up, which Matthew was expecting. “You plan to stash me behind a rock, in other words, while you take all the risks in order to save me.”
That pretty much described his plan, but Matthew tried his best to soften the blow to her pride. “Honey, you’re already played out, and with good reason, after all you’ve been through. This will give you a chance to rest for a few days. I’ll leave you plenty of meat and find you a hiding place near water. You can eat, sleep, or just lie around. When I get back, you’ll be fit as a fiddle again and ready for anything.”
“No.” She locked her arms around her bent knees and glared at him. “It’s bad enough that you went looking for them today without taking me. I won’t hide while you play hero. We either do this together, or we don’t do it at all.”
“Eden, you don’t have the strength left in you to ride hard enough or long enough to lose them. I do.”
“You’ve been shot!”
“I’m fine. It’s only a flesh wound. Both of our lives depend upon you being rational about this. If we stay together, you’ll slow me down, and we’ll run a much greater risk of the Sebastians catching up with us. You need to let me do this—only this once, because you’re so tuckered out—and then, from here on out, we’ll stick together, I swear.”
“You’ll be one man against five, Matthew. As exhausted as I am, I’m still a good shot. What if you can’t outdistance them, and they catch up with you? You’ll stand a better chance if I’m there to help take them on. You seem to see me lollygagging around a fire and sitting on my tuffet when I’ll actually be worried sick the whole time you’re gone. Not only for myself, but for you, too!”
The disagreement escalated, each of them tossing in arguments to prove his or her point, and by bedtime, the situation still wasn’t resolved. Eden huddled on her side with her back to Matthew. Her anger and frustration charged the air with tension. Staring gloomily at the stars, he tried to put himself in her shoes, and as much as it griped him, he understood how she felt. It wouldn’t sit well with him to be left behind in a hiding place while his partner went out and took all the risks.
“All right, you win,” Matthew said softly.
She stirred to look over her frail shoulder at him. And it had become frail, Matthew realized. He hadn’t been imagining the weight loss. The feisty girl he’d rescued a month ago was now little more than skin and bones. Something twisted in his chest as he looked at her, and a deep, bone-chilling fear quickly followed, moving through him like a rush of ice water. If she died on him . . . Well, it didn’t bear thinking about.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I mean that you win. We’ll go together. If you get too puny to ride, I’ll carry you in front of me on my horse.”
She settled beside him on her back to join him in stargazing. After a long while, she said, “If that isn’t the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard.”
Matthew cast her a startled look. That was the last thing he’d expected her to say. “What do you mean, dumb? It’s what you’ve been angling for all evening.”
“I don’t always angle for what’s good for me, Matthew.” She squeezed her eyes closed. “Your plan is the best one. If you take me, I’ll only slow you down.” Her slender throat worked as she struggled to continue. “It’s true that I can’t make the ride. I don’t know why I’m so played out. I keep thinking I’ll perk up, but I don’t. Maybe you’re right, and a few days of rest will do the trick.”
Matthew got that awful twisting sensation in his chest again. “Are you sick, honey?”
“Not sick, just not myself. Normally I’m full of energy and have a good appetite. But now I go to sleep exhausted and wake up exhausted, and even when I feel really hungry, I lose interest in the food after only a few bites. I don’t know what the problem is.”
Matthew could make a good guess. “You’ve been on a horse at least twelve hours a day for over a month, five days with the Sebastians and more than four weeks with me. Add to that the physical beatings you took, plus two or three busted ribs, and I reckon you’ve got call to be feeling off plumb. What you need is a lot of rest and feeding up. I’d take you to a town if I could, set you up in a hotel with a feather bed, and let you sleep for about a week.”
“I’ll get plenty of rest if you go without me.” Matthew listened for a forlorn tone in her voice, but all he heard was determination and resolve. Typically of Eden, she’d made up her mind to stay behind, and now that she had, she wouldn’t whine about it.
“You’re quite a lady, you know it?” he whispered.
No answer. Matthew tucked in his chin to look at her. She was sound asleep. A tender smile touched his mouth. He turned onto his side to gaze at her profile. When, he wondered, had every curve and angle of her face become engraved in his heart? Hesitantly, he reached to trail a fingertip along the bridge of her saucy little nose. Next, he traced the soft fullness of her lips and the stubborn jut of her pointy chin. In that moment, he said a silent prayer that a few days’ rest truly would cure what ailed her, because, whether he liked it or not, she’d come to mean a lot to him.
The following morning, Matthew’s sole occupation was to find a safe hiding place for Eden. While she fixed breakfast, he saddled Smoky and rode out to go scouting. Within an hour, he came across a small cave, the inner chamber about six feet wide and twelve feet deep. He unearthed no critters when he went inside. A stream flowed within easy walking distance. Ponderosa pines and undergrowth provided plenty of cover. If he was careful to erase all tracks leading to this place, and Eden built only small fires, the Sebastians would play hell ever finding her here.
When Matthew got back to camp, Eden had their breakfast sitting in pans at the edge of the fire and was busy sorting through the packs, setting aside a few tins of food, some perishables, and cooking tools. Implements, she called them. Now that he’d come to know her better, he realized that she used a lot of fancy terms to describe ordinary things. She could probably balance cake and tea plates on her lap in a velvet-lined parlor, yet she could shoot the heads off rattlesnakes like a hired gun.
As he swung off Smoky, she glanced up and smiled. “Hope you don’t mind. I’m trying to set myself up to camp alone for a few days.”
Matthew was taken aback by her cheerful attitude. Not many people he knew would happily embrace being left behind in the wilderness without even a horse. But if E
den was worried, not a flicker of concern showed in her expression.
“I won’t cut you short,” she assured him. “I can make do much of the time with plants that I can find. The main thing I’ll need is meat.”
His throat went tight. He couldn’t help but think of Livvy, how she would have clung to him and begged him not to leave her. Not that he faulted his wife. She’d been as sweet and dear as a woman could be, and he’d loved her more than anything. She simply never could have faced this situation with the same jaunty fortitude that Eden was.
“I’ll get you a deer before I head out.” Matthew hunkered down across from her, noticing that she was taking precious few of the tinned goods for herself. “Honey, you’ll need more than that. What if something goes wrong, and I can’t get back as quick as I think?”
She shrugged. “I’ll manage. If I have a whole deer, what more will I really need?”
The thought went through Matthew’s mind that she might need someone to hug her at night. It was a lonely business, being out in the middle of nowhere. In his early days on the trail, he’d gotten spooked after dark himself—more times than he cared to admit. “Will you be afraid? After dark, I mean.”
She glanced off into the trees, her expression thoughtful. “No. Darkness is merely the opposite of daylight. Monsters don’t come out just because the sun goes down.”
True, but bears and cougars did. Matthew picked up a twig and drew squiggles in the dirt. “It can still be spooky out here at night when you’re all alone.”
“I won’t be alone. God will be with me.” She caught his gaze and smiled. “Would you stop worrying, Matthew? I’m a full-grown woman. I’ll have the revolvers and plenty of ammunition. I’ll be fine for a few days—safer than you will be, by far.” Her expression clouded. “That’s the only thing that bothers me, you going out alone and taking all the risks while I huddle up, comfortable as can be by a fire with my belly full. I hate the thought.”
Matthew knew he’d feel the same way if their roles were reversed.
“But never mind that,” she went on. “I’m exhausted; I admit it. It can’t be helped. Let that be the end of it.” An expectant look came into her eyes. “Did you find me a good camp spot?”
“Perfect.” He described the cave and nearby stream. “If the weather turns bad, you’ll have shelter. At night, you’ll be protected on three sides so nobody can sneak in on you.”
“It truly does sound perfect.” She brushed her hands clean on the knees of her pants. “Will we go there after breakfast, or do you plan to hunt first?”
Matthew half expected her to say, Here’s your hat, and what’s your hurry? He found himself wanting to grin. Just when he thought he understood this lady, she surprised him again. “I thought I’d get you settled and then try to get a deer. No point in packing the meat from here to there.”
“True.” Hugging her side, she pushed to her feet. “Breakfast is ready, venison steak and fried potatoes with trail bread.”
“Sounds good enough to eat.”
The sun hung at its zenith in the sky when it came time for Matthew to leave Eden behind at her hideout. She walked with him to his horse and spent a moment saying her good-byes to the bay gelding before she turned toward him. When Matthew searched her wide blue eyes, he saw no trace of apprehension in their depths. She truly wasn’t afraid to stay alone. He guessed he was worried enough about it for both of them.
“After I leave, if you see a lot of smoke, don’t be worried,” he told her. “I’m going to build a huge fire where we camped last night and then dump some water on it. I want the Sebastians to see it.”
“So they’ll be sure to find the place and come after you?”
“That’s right. I’ll leave a trail a blind man could follow to lure them north.”
“You’ll feather away your tracks as you leave here, though?”
Matthew nodded. “They won’t find you. They’ll be too focused on following me.” He swept off his hat and ran his fingers through his hair. Now that the moment had come to leave her, he was no longer so sure it was the right thing to do. “You positive you’re going to be okay?”
She shoved playfully at his good arm. “Get out of here, you silly man. Of course I’m going to be okay.” Her smile suddenly faded, and she curled her slender fingers over his to give them a hard squeeze. “Be careful, Matthew. Promise me?”
“I’ll be careful.” He shuffled a boot in the dirt, feeling as if there were still unfinished business but uncertain what it might be. “I’ve been doing this for a while, you know, never before with them cutting my trail, but with me cutting theirs. I’ve learned from them over the years. They might be cunning, but that’s not the same as smart.”
Matthew mounted up. The bay and mule were tethered single file behind him, the gelding’s lead rope anchored to his saddle. He nudged Smoky into a walk. He’d covered several yards when he drew his horse to a stop and glanced back. Eden stood alone among the trees, her arms wrapped around her waist. When she saw him looking at her, she smiled and waved, plucky as always. Damn. Unfinished business doesn’t say it by half.
Cursing under his breath, Matthew swung back down off the horse and strode toward her. She gave him a wondering look.
“Did you forget something?”
He nudged up the brim of his hat as he stepped in close to her. “You remember all those damned corners of the heart you told me about?”
A tiny frown pleated the flawless skin between her finely arched eyebrows. “Yes.”
“Well, a pretty little redhead with a fiery temper and a sassy mouth sneaked past my guard with a pick and chisel.”
Her frown deepened. “Pardon?”
Matthew rubbed a hand over his mouth. “You heard me,” he ground out. “She sneaked into my heart and went to work, chipping away, day in and day out, until she hollowed out a corner all for herself, and then, as if that wasn’t enough, she went and carved her name on it.”
Tears sprang to her eyes, glistening in the sunlight like diamonds. In a quavering voice, she said, “Oh, Matthew.”
“And now I’ll be damned if I can just ride off. What . . . what if something happens, and I never make it back? It’s not likely, but the possibility is there. If I don’t muster up the courage to tell you how I feel before I leave, I’m afraid I’ll regret it.”
“How do you feel?”
He swallowed hard. “Mixed-up, mostly.”
Despite that tears were now spilling over her burnished lower lashes onto her pale cheeks, she laughed, a light, tinkling sound that warmed him all the way through.
“You think this is funny?”
She shook her head and wiped her cheeks. “No, of course not. You’ve chiseled out a corner for yourself in my heart, too, Matthew. It’s good to know I’m not the only one feeling that way.”
“Well, now that I’ve said it, I can leave with no regrets.” He turned to go, but he’d barely taken a step before he felt as if an invisible hand had clamped over his shoulder to stop him. He halted, pivoted on his heel, and said, “Just one more thing.”
It had been a very long time since Matthew had kissed a woman—so damned long that he’d forgotten all his moves. Sad-eyed whores in the rooms above saloons didn’t welcome such intimacies. He took off his hat and then wondered why, so he plopped it back on his head. He leaned slightly toward her and then rocked back to scratch beside his nose. Son of a bitch. He was acting like a green kid. He was almost thirty-one years old. If he didn’t know how to kiss a lady by now, he was a sorry excuse.
To hell with his moves. They probably hadn’t been all that slick, anyway, and kissing was sort of like riding a horse: A man never lost his knack. He seized her by her arms and pulled her against his chest. He would just kiss the woman, right and proper, and be done with it.
Only, as she had from the start, Eden surprised him once again. Instead of being shy and hesitant, she melted against him like a pat of butter on a hot biscuit and went up onto her tiptoes to
wrap her arms around his neck.
“Matthew Coulter, you are one of a kind,” she whispered, and proceeded to press her lips against his. Problem. Her mouth was clamped tightly shut. When Matthew nudged at the part of her lips with his tongue, she jerked as if a bee had buzzed up and stung her on the butt. Arms still hooked around his neck, she reared back to look up at him in startled bewilderment.
And in that look of uncertainty, Matthew found his confidence again. “Darlin’, remember all that practicing on a mirror? Clenched teeth don’t cut it.”
He saw her jaw muscles relax. “John never—”
“I’m not John,” he whispered fiercely as he lowered his head, “and don’t you forget it.”
As Matthew slanted his mouth over hers, he forgot all about making fast work of this task and riding away with a clear conscience. Honey and silk. As he dipped his tongue into her mouth, he could have sworn that his toes curled in his boots, and from that instant, he was lost in the sweetness of her. Eden. She was vinegar, spice, and sugar, all rolled into one. Stubborn, feisty, impossible to understand sometimes, and yet—she had become his everything.
He wished he had the words to tell her that. In her special corner of his heart, she had become his rescuer, not the other way around. She had dug deep and searched out all of his hurting places to soothe away the pain, giving him hope where he’d had none, forgiveness for his mistakes when he’d wanted to blame himself forever, and the ability to laugh again without feeling guilty. Most important of all, she’d taught him that his love for Livvy would never be diminished if he allowed himself to love someone new. He didn’t have to say good-bye to Livvy in order to say hello to Eden.
And this kiss, so deep and dizzying, was definitely a hello. Matthew wanted to sweep her up into his arms, carry her to the cave, and make love to her. Instead he had to leave, not knowing for sure if he’d ever make it back. The thought made him tighten his arms around her, and he never wanted to let go.