‘Oscar mate, I have a treat for you - a huge lamb bone with lots of meat on it. Come down the back on the grass - there you are - I am going to school now - see you when I get home.’
Now there is appreciation, I think as I delicately carry the bone to where I want to eat it. I can’t focus on a book whilst this bone and - oh - what is that - garlic and rosemary flavours - food for a king or conqueror - how the turns twist - munch munch munch - and now going to sleep... and dream of sage poetic thoughts.
I am a Sage - a sophos - a dog of knowing but do I know how to write something not prosaic - phooey to the ideas of sages - I need wisdom - I will have to seek wisdom like a soothsayer - but who will read my books? Who will bother to read what a poor drongo dog with dangly ears and fluffy hairlike fur writes? Huh - how will they know what I look like? Will the reader discern my abilities - or my disabilities - or my inabilities, if I write from my knowing and not worry who wants to read it? Does a bird dance because no one is looking? Shall I - or Shan't I - oh such prose is like a rose in winter? Oh - a Noah’s ark is a shark? A Captain Cook is having a look - oh - how the schools will love my story or will it be the big library that lets people borrow my book?
My book will never be read, by any one. No one will want to even pick up the first edition being given away free on train stations for passengers to read.
I think, I will re-think, my plans to write my five hundred-word story to think of a way of being accepted into society and forget the ideas given me.
Where is my Animal Dictionary - 2nd Canine Edition? I am a literary dog - I am Ocker Oscar to be bold and full of courage - well I do like a tickle on the tummy but what dog doesn't?
‘Oscar --- Oscar - it is me --- Clio --- I am here in serious energy today to convey a thought for you to think - Thalia has been delayed. Thalia recently made a mistake when she crossed two energies whilst she was practising for the end of the Galactic Year Celebrations. She should have known better. Anyway, she crossed the energies of a television news-reader and a stand up comic and got a splurge of laughter. The peoples of the land saw on TV a picture of a funeral, and a voice over of a commentary, of a joke about how a cow fell over a cliff and landed on top of a man called 'Old Smokey' and squashed him. The reason I am telling you Oscar is that historically there is what is called a 'faux pas' which means - 'a mistake as a slip in etiquette'. Thalia is reworking the idea and is swapping the newsreader with the weatherman for the comedy skit. All writers have to fine tune their thoughts. Write it first so that no one reads it and fine tune what you have written then show someone. Do you understand Oscar? Now Oscar, I will leave you with Calliope because she is the Muse of Epic Poetry and Writing. Bye Oscar - have a happy time fine tuning your thoughts.’ - zzip
‘Oscar, as Calliope, the Muse of Writing- I am so happy to be appointed your guide for this section of your writer's journey. I have selected several things to help you in your endeavour. You appear to be shipwrecked but we can offer help. Not do it for you, but offer guidance. It is up to you to recognise the help. Have a Captain Cook and see what is and what is not in your life. The full moon is approaching fast and the story will be read out at the Galactic celebrations. Pressure is good Oscar, to a writer, who believes and has abilities to search inwardly into your organs and inner most thoughts and being - your energies are vibrant - your energies reveal - your energies are what makes your soul become alive. Write with your heart and your soul will be in the words written on a tablet of stone or paper.
No more gifts will be given until you find yourself. That is an order from Head of Galaxies itself. Oscar - I will be with you until the new moon - after you find your inner-self I will slowly introduce something Thalia promised you - then if needed, other gifts of abilities but only after you have inner strength to be able to use and handle such powerful utilities. To give you these gifts beforehand would kill you instantly. I will depart and be back before the sun sets tonight. Oscar – (giggle giggle) - you are now an adult with training wheels - the more you behave and think like an adult - the smaller the training wheels - some humans retain their training wheels forever. Bye Oscar - back later.’
~~~
Chapter Four It is not Cricket.
‘Jack, your bowling is superb but we have eight bowlers who can crush sand shoes - one can even do it with a high speed wrong-un out of the back of his hand.’ Mr. Campbell answered to Jack's questions.
‘We are short of middle order batsmen that can consolidate the game if there are quick wickets taken. Your batting used to be the best I had seen in a youngen but you have slipped in that department. Let us say Jack - you have to improve your batting for you to be given a nod as a possible Twelfth Man - and then it would be because of your catching abilities. You could even be the perfect Twelfth Man - if - if you improve your batting, Twelfth Man is always the first replacement if a regular has injuries Jack - think about it - it is up to you - get your batting back to where it was, and the other three possible players will have to improve. It is about who is the best on the day Jack.’
‘Thanks Mr Campbell, Uncle Bill used to say the same thing. When you played with Uncle Bill - what was he like before a game? Did he get cramps in his stomach? I get them and it is impossible to relax.’
‘Well Jack. To tell the truth - we approached each game with a different attitude than you would read in an instruction book on Cricket. We actually ran onto the field with the attitude we did not give a rat's bum if we won or lost - the toss. What we did too was joked continually, we laughed a lot and if a wicket fell early, we placed bets of matchsticks to see who got the least runs - we made a joke out of pressure - but we each had a butterfly in our stomachs. It shows the level of competition you are against when you have butterflies. Jack, I found personally - butterflies in the stomach are sort of - an inner admission of being under prepared. - Prepare yourself for any - any situation that the team or their groundsmen can dish up at you. See how you go with your batting and it’s not the end of the world if there are more players than positions - someone has to prepare the orange juice and keep it cold.’
‘Thanks Mr Campbell. Dad said the trailer was repaired and to call in any time but not during his lunch break. He closes the shop now because of friends wanting to chat while he is having his lunch. And dad likes to read to relax during his break.’
‘Thanks Jack, before you go... have a look at the video I lent your dad last year and study the feet positions of the players. I think you have a foot placement problem. Wide Bay has not had a State Rep as an All Rounder ever Jack - you could be the first. Focus on the Under Thirteens or even the Under Fifteens, then before long the State Side - forget Nationals - just think - in six years time - after you finish Year Twelve you could be heading for Brisbane and a secure job and place in the State side - work hard - accept nothing but the best and never give up on that vision.’
Mr Campbell slowly turned and called another lad away from the groups practicing. Jack slowly turned and forgot I am alongside of him. I felt the energy. I know. I know what was being said . . . it is a funny feeling, this feeling inside - when you can resonate the energies - strange things, are weird things, and are now becoming terrible things - Jack is going away - and leaving me.
~~~
We have now returned home and I am out the back alone again. Slim Lips is inside laying down the law. Someone rang her on the phone because Jack took the leash off me and I was running free around the park with children. Oh - I can hear it - full on raving – ‘We cannot afford to pay for some child to be in hospital because Oscar mauled the child at the oval.’ There is more - a man took his child home because of the wild dogs and Oscar was one of the dogs. Jack is defending himself and his mates who play cricket who also own a dog. Jack is explaining the oval is for cricket practice and their children are interfering with their practice.
‘No one rang you mum when the child in question nearly had his head cut off because he was so close to the wickets - or -
the incident of a child trying to catch the ball and it hit him on the head. No - they only ring you because the cricketers are on the oval with their dogs. Get the children off the oval mum. The oval is for cricket and cricket practice.’ Jack is crying as he walks from the house and grabs his pushbike.
It is close to sunset and no one knows where he is going to. Slim Lips hates me. Whatever I represent, it is not about being a dog that is loved by her. I think she secretly wants to run away - or shrivel up to the size of a pea from an overdose of sadness - here lies Slim Lips who hated everyone and could not face up to being normal. I think Slim Lips has kangaroos loose in the top paddock and wants to share them with her friends. Tawny Frogmouth is not to help me. Fromoth is a friend who is wise. I don't know enough what wisdom is but I will find out one day what it is.
The tales I tell of two tails can wait until I perfect my Flatulator as H-o-G showed me. How did he do it? I loved the sounds of the music he made. I remember to say something like 'Hells bells or Friendly Incites into Factuals. Or did he just say 'Do it Oscar, do it'? - I think he said – ‘just do it’.
I am sitting here pondering the call of Wordsworth and the worst of my imaginations appears in front of my eyes ---- cat. --- Penny's cat. Cat is slowly walking around me staring and purring. Cat makes me sick the way cat thinks she owns the earth.
‘Hello idiot, are you in trouble with my friend?’ Cat spoke with a tease in her voice. ‘I have a solution for you but it is secret.’
‘What do you want? Go rub your body against Jack's mother's legs and crawl along being Miss Princess in her eyes. I am busy writing a discourse on the probabilities of cats being burned alive on a spit roast and eaten by ravenous wolves. I don’t need your secrets or aloofness of allowing a flea to land on your nose. Go away cat.’
‘Ok, if you want. Cats don’t need friends. We can survive without having our tummy tickled or told how nice we are. And 'Cat' is not my name. It is Escere - it means - to begin - it also means I am such an inchoative rare cat, Penny selected it because she is my owner not her mother. Anyway, how else do I get milk from her if not than by rubbing my body against her legs? And Penny is allowed to keep me on her bed. Her mother is taking pills to go to sleep.’
I am sitting looking at Cat and think aloud ‘What has pills got to do with me?’ and then Escere says...
‘Wouldn't you like to sleep in the house again? Jack is not going to stay living there for long. Did you know that?’
‘He is going to Brisbane in six years time to play cricket.’
‘Well, if you insist. I heard from Penny telling her friends that Jack is to get a Scholarship at a Private School in Brisbane, you will have to share Penny with me, and I know she hates dogs. Penny is a cat lover. Bye Oscar.’
‘Wait. When did you hear about Jack and a Private School? Is it to play cricket for the school? I want him here. How can I put up with you and be your friend? I think going and living elsewhere if Jack is leaving.’
‘No it's not Oscar. Trust me once. I have an idea and see if it helps you but you better not know what it is as you will spoil it.’ Escere walked away with tail high with the tip flipping around as she strutted back out through the door of Jack's cubby house and disappeared. I think that cat is not to be trusted. At least she was polite, even though a bit as though she is the top of the pecking order.
Somehow, as I think about Escere - what a funny name to give a cat - I would give her the name of Jane - Plain Jane - anyway - something resonates the way she appeared from nowhere. Why, why Penny? I hardly have anything to do with Penny now that they are at school and why cat coming to me to tell me something? Fromoth appeared to me - Calliope appeared to me - cat appears to me - what is said is that I will have this written - what is happening to me – “Oscar, you are going to a nice family but remember - you have to fit into society where-ever you go”. One moment I am given advice and now I have to make decisions - I want to go away and hide - give up this game and sit and sleep until school is out but Jack is leaving soon. I think H-o-G will have to get Patagonian Gutless Dog - woops - Toothless dog to write his story of whatever and I will leave this planet in a wisp of memories of one huge Galactic Flatulation --- wwwoooooopphhheerrreeeeeeee and then disappear - forget my destiny - it is too difficult to become an adult dog.
Sleep, Oscar - sleep - I will sprinkle some sleep dust over you and you can dream a solution - you cannot help yourself until you hit bottom Oscar - it is good Oscar to fail in your mind - solutions appear then.
~~~
Oh, what time is it - has the sun gone over the yard arm yet? Oh, the sun is high in the sky and I am but a youngen with vim and vigour - but where is my puter? Where is Fromoth? What will I do to establish if I still have training wheels? Oh, that garlic and rosemary with the lamb has me burping - dogs should not eat garlic. My tummy is tingling with pressure and nerves in my tummy with pressure on my Flatulator - there is not a cast iron bath in sight - a good fart coming up - I can feel the pressures increasing...
‘Release your negativity Oscar - let go - let go of being negative Oscar - let go Oscar,’ Calliope said.
Let go? Where can I do a huge controlled Galactic Fart? I will go near the chook shed and point my Flatulator at the chook shed, away from the house or garage ------ KAAPPPPPOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW PHOOOFT TWEEEEETTYYYYYY -fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiing - teeeeeter - sssiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiifffffffffy tooop.
Ah that is better - no pressure now ---- oooohhhwaaaaaaahhhhhh - where is the chook shed? Chooks are flying free - the echo I hear - it is making my bones rattle - my spine is singing and the sing song of the earth as an earthquake the magnitude of One on the Richter scale of a fish is thinging across the land. A tree just fell over - in the house next door a python fell out of a tree into a swimming pool that has the aged exercise class and someone picked it up and threw it at the instructor - I just heard them screaming and laughing about it. Oh, what have I done? I cannot write, cannot fart a decent Galactic Flatulation, and not even in musical harmony like H-o-G did it - oh dear - a failure in fitting into society and failure in farting a fart worthy to be called a Galactic Flatulation. I have to access all five senses for a fart to be called that. I am not able to pay the insurance claims or damages for damage done by misadventures of a failed Galactic fart. Bankrupt of money and bankrupt in creativity and bankrupt of friends who can say on my behalf in Court– ‘Your Honour, Ocker Oscar has learned his lessons in failures and will never ever do it again - we plead his forgiveness and ask you give him a not guilty verdict.’ - I need to hide.
‘Oscar - OSCAR - where are you Oscar? - oh there you are. It is on the radio a huge earthquake hit the area - ok you are safe - power poles are down and damage is bad and thankfully no one hurt and you are all right? I am going down to the school to see if it got hit - the roads are safe now- it is like the earthquake hit above ground and the ground did not shake at all- I will be back with Jack and Penny soon.’
Slim Lips does not know I did it - I will pretend I know nothing - but then how would they know I did it? Oh - well, this is different... back to failures and recognition of nowhere to go but down the hill of failed successes.
~~~
I am alone again at last - puter going on –‘Today I tried to perfect the Galactic Fart but it was a disaster waiting for a tsunami to happen. All I did was try to do as I was told but with the usual failures. The electricity was reconnected in three hours and the house was full of people. The television had a story told from a helicopter and the reporter said the epicentre of the strangest phenomena was at our house. Crop Circles in Suburbia was how the local radio station is reporting the story but I write being ignorant of these things - except for Escere - she is acting strangely recently - with respect I think she is lonely too.' That is all Puter. Oh so difficult to write a story that no one will read - my innermost thoughts for the day. The whole thing is, I am still a puppy but told to behave like an adult dog. Maybe I fake it until I make it. I suppose I do have some natural
gifts. If I sit in the sun and get some warmth - down by the riverside - where I can lift my spirits up where I belong - my spirits have been down a bit and then I realise life is all about different things happening. There is a song in my heart that resonates - pat me all day so I can run run and play - but life is not all play like when I was with my brothers and sisters. Life hasn’t stopped changing so how can I fit into something that is changing? Oh, if burnt crispy bacon or half a sausage roll is present - it would be a gift of the presents tense - typo - present tense.
‘The thing is - why me? Why am I the one to fix her solutions?’
‘Because Oscar because,’ Fromoth spoke and I turn around. ‘Off with the fairies and talking to yourself again Oscar? I have been perched above you for some time Oscar. I could not sleep today. I know what caused the trembling Oscar and I know why.’
‘Why Fromoth?’
‘Because Oscar, you are trying too hard. Let go of your mission, know it exists and listen to your heart. What does your heart say Oscar?’
‘My heart says I am a coward and scared and frightened to be an adult.’
‘Oh to be truthful, yes Oscar growing up can be scary but guess what?’
‘What?’
‘Oscar, the answer is, others have gone through the same thing and succeeded. Did you consider yourself when you killed the feral white cat to save me?’
‘No.’
‘Exactly and I rest my argument. Focus on the moment and the future will arrive. It always does and what future means is - how you handle the present is how you contribute to your future. Focus on one thing at a time. The little details become things, which solve the bigger problems. And Oscar - forget the Air-quake yesterday. We all make mistakes and the local hotel needed a new roof.’
‘Watch out Fromoth, I just saw Escere outside the door and cats hate birds and Escere is not to be trusted.’
‘I trust Escere. We are friends. Many discuss your dilemmas Oscar. Hello Escere - Oscar is his usual self-doubting self today. Confident one day and sad and rejected the next.’