“We need to talk to somehar.”
“Like who? Cal? I don't think so.”
“Somehar away from here. Pell. Cobweb. I don't know. I don't want to be here any more, Ty. I want to be with you, but we have to understand what we've done and why it happened. That won't happen here.”
“We can't leave,” Tyson said. “What about Azriel and Aleeme? They are the reason we're here.”
Moon sighed. “Is it?”
Tyson frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I don't know. I wonder whether Cal can really get them out. It doesn't seem feasible.”
“But you said you saw him use some kind of weird power in Galhea. He's had training. He can use the otherlanes.”
“But he hasn't,” Moon said flatly. “Painful thought it might be, we should consider what other motives he might have for being here.”
“Why bring us with him, though? If he simply wanted to go to Ponclast, he wouldn't have bothered with us, surely. He needn't have come back to Galhea at all.”
“Oh, I don't know,” Moon said. “It's all too confusing. Things just don't feel right. It's like we're wasting time.” He tried to stand, and winced with pain. “Ty, take a look at me, will you? Something's wrong.”
“I'll take you inside,” Tyson said. “We need the light.”
Moon allowed Tyson to lift him and carry him back into their room, where Tyson laid him on one of the beds. Moon opened his legs a little and even that hurt.
“You're bleeding a bit,” Tyson said.
“How bad?”
“Not bad. You must have ripped yourself when you threw me across the yard! By Ag, you have some strength, har! But I should probably give you some healing. Not that I'm a great adept at that.”
“Anything will do. What other option do we have?”
Tyson settled beside Moon and put one hand over his soume-lam, the other on the base of his spine. Presently, after a sputtering start, healing energy flowed from him as soothing warmth.
“What if I'm really hurt?” Moon said.
“It'll be okay,” Tyson said. “Hush.”
Cal returned to them in the morning. He was so preoccupied he didn't react to finding them both in the same bed. Tyson said, “So what's left of Kyrotates?” and laughed, although Cal did not even smile.
“What I discovered is not good,” Cal said. “Aleeme is in great danger.”
“Then we must get him out of here as soon as we can,” Tyson said, getting out of bed. He began to dress himself.
Cal frowned. “It's too soon. It's not what I planned.”
“What did you plan?” Moon asked. He sat up and was relieved to find he didn't hurt so much now. “Should we talk of this here?”
“I have constructed a haze,” Cal said. “A little trick to confuse snoopers, but I can't keep it in place for long because then it would arouse suspicion.”
“I can't perceive it,” Moon said.
“No, I don't expect you can.” Cal poured himself a cup of water and drank it. “I wanted to make best use of the confusion when the Gelaming arrive to get the Parasilians out. The only thing I can think of is that I should use the otherlanes to get to Aleeme, but that might be noticed. I still don't know how perceptive Ponclast is – he keeps me in the dark over most things.”
“What is wrong with Aleeme?” Tyson asked. “Is he being tortured?”
“In a way,” Cal answered. “He is with pearl. Ponclast committed pelki on him and in some abominable way created new life. Aleeme has already borne one pearl, now he carries another. His body is suffering. He has lost all hope. He is dying.”
A wave of black passed across Moon's vision. “We have to do something. Do whatever it takes, Cal. Take the risk!”
“Don't state the obvious, moonling,” Cal said dryly. “I'm thinking hard.” He sighed through his nose. “As I've always believed, the Varrs, or the Teraghasts as we must now call the hara here, are not beyond redemption. Kyrotates is a good sort – very similar to Ithiel, in fact. He is older and wiser than he was – no longer a painted barbarian resentful of everything. He is aware of such things. He told me that most of the hara here want only to live their lives in peace. They feel obliged to Ponclast, because his will has kept them alive, and his sacrifice has given them freedom. They all believe his alliance with whatever beings have found him is a sacrifice. I have no doubt that Ponclast loves his hara deeply.
“But anyway, that is hardly relevant to the problem in hand. Kyrotates has mixed feelings about what Ponclast has done to the Parasilians. Like all Teraghasts he reviles Swift's name and feels the Parsics are traitors, but he also believes that the matter should be settled through an honourable fight, not by committing pelki on helpless victims. He has seen Aleeme, and I think the image has stayed with him. He was grateful to relieve himself of it to me.”
“Will he help us?” Tyson asked, buttoning up his shirt.
“Don't be ridiculous,” Cal said, “of course he won't. He can't. I have asked him to allow me access to Aleeme to give him healing. He wasn't too keen on that idea either. He is loyal to Ponclast, but also afraid of him, and rightly so, in my opinion.”
“Then what are you going to do?” Moon asked.
“I might have to get us into Aleeme's room. It is strongly guarded. Then we will have to find Azriel. Aleeme is very sick. I'm not sure how we'll manage this. It will be a dangerous and reckless venture. Oh, shades of Piristil! Where are the good poisoners when you need them?”
“When will we do this?” Tyson asked.
Cal shook his head, as if he wasn't sure. “I think it will have to be when the Gelaming get here. They will be here soon. I wish you two had been trained as I was! It would be much easier if I could distract Ponclast one night and you could use the otherlanes to get to Aleeme and Azriel.”
Tyson glanced at Moon, and Moon could tell what he was thinking. “Maybe there is a way,” Tyson said.
“Oh?” Cal said.
Tyson screwed up his nose. “No, we can't. It's a mad idea. We don't have enough control.”
“What are you talking about?” Cal asked.
“You'd better tell him,” Moon said. “Perhaps he can help us.”
Cal listened to the story of the previous night's events carefully. He did not interrupt. At the end of it, Tyson laughed uncertainly and said, “So, what do you think of that?”
“I think,” Cal said, “that you performed a rather bizarre method of contraception.”
“But reality changed,” Tyson said, “like it does for Kamagrian and hara.”
“Conception is like that,” Cal said. “I know, because I experienced it when Terzian and I conceived you. I'm not sure ending it so abruptly was the right thing to do. You must let me examine you, Moon.”
“But we didn't want a pearl,” Moon said, instinctively drawing up his legs against his chest. “It wasn't intended, and conceptions don't happen any other way, do they?”
“Tell that to your friend, Aleeme,” Cal said. “You and Ty clearly have intense feelings for one another, and the fact that you've applied a weird kind of Tantric discipline to the slow fire of your mutual desire is obviously what opened the seal. I doubt it will happen again. I doubt even more that you could use this phenomenon to access the otherlanes. How I wish you could!” He put a hand on Tyson's shoulder. “I'm glad you two have got over your difficulties. At least something good is happening.”
“So, we do nothing about Aleeme,” Moon said. “We just wait. And then we might be too late.”
“I didn't say that. I just need to think about it.” Cal sighed. “There is something else...”
“What?” Tyson asked.
“Your hura-brother Abrimel has allied Ponclast. It's not exactly widely advertised, but Kyrotates knows.”
“He told you a lot,” Tyson said.
“He did. He is an anxious har. And I used my wiles on him. I doubt he'll even remember much of what he told me, but I left him happy. It was the least I could do.”
r />
“Do the Gelaming know about Abrimel?” Moon asked.
“Kyrotates doesn't know that. I will visit him again, but I'll have to be careful. He's no fool. The next time we meet, I don't be able to question him in the same way. Now the haze is deteriorating. We can speak on this no more. You had better get ready for work. Any chance of breakfast, Ty? I need to eat.”
Tyson went out into the courtyard to rebuild the fire, while Cal insisted on examining Moon's body. “There doesn't appear to be a great deal of harm done,” he said. “But don't ever do that again, Moon. There are ways you can end aruna when you feel that kind of fire building up. Don't wait until the last minute and tear yourselves apart.”
“At the time, it felt as if it was meant to be,” Moon said. “It felt so right. Then I just knew what was happening, and I also knew it was something neither of us wanted – not then.”
“I told Ty to train you. Clearly, he is not doing a very good job. I can advise you both. We will speak later.”
Cal went outside to help Tyson and Moon sat with his chin resting on his knees for some minutes before dressing himself. He thought Cal was missing something. There was more to what had happened the previous night than it appeared. He just wished he knew what it was.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Pellaz decided that what he did with Galdra was Grissecon rather than aruna. It didn't involve love or anticipation, or guilt or heat. Emotions had to be put aside. It was easier that way.
On the evening following his strange discovery of an unmapped inner world, after a long day's ride with his mind in turmoil, Pellaz met again with Tharmifex and Ashmael in his pavilion. He invited nohar else to the meeting, not even Galdra. The pavilion smelled musty to Pellaz, as if a trace of his aruna with Galdra clung to its fabric. He sat on the edge of his bed and couldn't stop thinking of himself lying there with Galdra inside him. Sometimes, when he thought this, Galdra had Cal's face.
Tharmifex and Ashmael were oblivious to Pell's inner wrangling. Perhaps they couldn't see it. Ashmael would never feel like this. His life included a string of conquests: a trail of sad ghosts, blue beside the roadside, who wondered what they'd done wrong. Ashmael went cold on hara very easily. As for Tharmifex, he was a contained individual, who appeared never to have been young, although like all hara he was incapable of looking old. He had a chesnari at home, who other hara rarely saw. Pellaz doubted the word chesna could really apply to Tharmifex. If Pellaz should speak his mind now and reveal the chewed-up contents of his heart, both Tharmifex and Ashmael would look confused; they wouldn’t understand a word of what he said. They were, however, extremely interested in what Pellaz had learned about the cauldron of creation. So he talked about that, as if it was a real place, and to get there didn't involve walking a path that was strewn with jewels and sharp stones. Ashmael was especially excited when Pellaz told him Lileem had mentioned his discovery could, in some way, be used as a weapon.
“It will be similar to what Swift and Seel did the last time we took on Fulminir,” Ashmael said, “except you will have the might of the dehara such as Aruhani and Agave behind you. You must experiment with this phenomenon intensively. By the time we get to Fulminir, you have to be able to wield this power properly.”
“We must conduct a formal Grissecon,” Tharmifex said. “I'm sorry, Pell. I hope that isn't distasteful to you, but we should observe the phenomenon, tune into it, seek an objective view. I also think that the next time you attempt this procedure, experienced hara, including Nahir Nuri, should be in attendance.”
“Who do you want present?” Pellaz said. His voice sounded like a clear, cool stream in his own ears, when it should be a squeak or a shriek. He felt himself being Tigron, this functional thing that had no heart. He wished Rue was with him.
“Ourselves, obviously,” Tharmifex said, “and Velaxis, if you have no objection. Also the Kakkahaar. Perhaps even the Kamagrian, Tel-an-Kaa, because of the parage Lileem's involvement. What do you think?”
Pellaz nodded slowly. “Very well. I would like Vaysh and Terez to be with us too.”
“Of course. What about tomorrow night?”
“I'll tell Galdra.”
Tharmifex hesitated. “Pell, I'm sure you know the Hegemony's opinion of Galdra. Your experiences with him have confirmed our hopes concerning his potential. I want you to think about the future. I know this might not be the right time, but events are moving quickly. Galdra is with you. Cal is not. You and the Freyhellan are achieving wondrous things together. He could be Tigron.”
“Galdra does not seek that position,” Pellaz said. “I'm not sure I'd want it for him either, whatever the circumstances. You are right. Now is not the time to talk about it.”
“At least the matter is out in the open,” Tharmifex said. “I hope you'll give it some consideration.”
“I will.”
Once Ashmael and Tharmifex had left, Pellaz put his face in his hands and sat that way for half an hour.
The Grissecon took place in a woodland glade some miles from camp. Ashmael placed heavy security around the area, so that no curious hara could observe the event. The evening was warm and the presence of the forest very close, as if unseen spirits were drawn to the spot to witness what would happen. Tall ancient oaks stood watchfully over the proceedings.
Tel-an-Kaa had agreed to be present, since Pellaz had explained to her that Lileem was involved. “It does not surprise me,” Tel-an-Kaa said. “Lileem was always destined to do something extraordinary. What would you like me to do to help?”
“Simply be present and alert,” Pellaz said. “Be open to subtle nuances in the ether. It's possible Lileem might make contact again.”
“I'll do what I can. This Grissecon business is...” she smiled, “...all very new to me.”
“I hope it won't discomfort you,” Pellaz said. “To be honest, it's new to me too.”
“Are you sure you want me there?”
Pellaz sighed deeply. “No. The thought of an audience does not delight me. But it makes sense. I'm sure once we're in the ritual, it'll be different.” He hoped.
Of course, Lileem's connection with the proceedings was also of great interest to Herien and Rarn har Kakkahaar. Herien asked if they might attend the Grisseon, and Pellaz hadn't the heart to refuse him. At Tharmifex's suggestion, Lianvis would lead the ceremony, no doubt in typical flamboyant Kakkahaar style, with Herien and Rarn acting as his officials.
Just before sundown, everyhar gathered at the designated site, where Lianvis manipulated the energy in the environment to create a temporary Nayati. The witnesses stood around him in a circle, adding their intention to his.
Throughout the day, Pellaz had wondered whether he and Galdra would be able to repeat the experiment in front of observers, especially those who were little more than strangers to him. They would have to adopt the traditional postures of Grissecon, which created an experience very different to the relaxed spontaneity of natural aruna. Pellaz knew hara performed these public ceremonies all the time and he'd witnessed quite a lot of them himself, but he still found it difficult to imagine that soon he'd be doing it himself. He didn't really know what Galdra thought about it, because he hadn't asked. Galdra had simply agreed to take part because Pell wanted him to. But, despite his avowals of unconditional love, Pellaz wondered whether Galdra saw the Grissecon, performed in front of high-ranking Gelaming, as a way to stake a legitimate claim on the Tigron. Now, as Pellaz stood at the edge of the circle, wearing only a light Kakkahaar cloak around his body, he imagined a moment in the future, which he feared would come too quickly. He saw Galdra at his side in the Hegalion, their union signed and sealed. And Cal would not come, because he never did, not when he was needed.
Pellaz was jolted back into the present by the arrival of Tel-an-Kaa at the site. She gave him a smile that was full of kindness and understanding. Her being was geared towards soume far more than hara like Ashmael and Tharmifex could ever even imagine. Pellaz was sure she picked up on some of h
is confusion, and understood only too well its cause. He wondered how she would feel having to view the intimate procedure of Grissecon. The Kamagrian were far more private about aruna than Wraeththu were.
Ten minutes before the opening ceremony was about to begin, Lianvis approached Pellaz and Galdra, carrying two small pottery flasks. “Pellaz, you look tense,” he said.
“I'm fine,” Pellaz said, but he could tell from Lianvis' expression that the Kakkahaar could see right through him.