His finger gently wiped at the wetness on her cheeks. “I want a place in your life. The question is, will you make one for me?”
Her eyes were turbulent. “Why should I?”
Pain ripped at his heart, but he reminded himself it was her emotions talking. “Give me a chance to show you. Go with me tomorrow. I have a surprise for you. I’ll explain the past.”
“Explain now.”
Her state of mind was so unclear right now, but he didn’t see how he could simply deny her request. “Are you going to really listen? To hear what I am telling you, not what your angry mind decides selectively to hear?”
She scowled at that. “I don’t do that.”
He laughed without humor. “Oh, yeah, you do.”
She started to deny, but then seemed to accept his words. Slowly, she lowered her head onto his shoulder as her hand slipped to his chest. The tension in her body eased.
For the longest time it seemed, she just rested there. He didn’t rush to speak, knowing she needed a minute to gather her thoughts. Besides, he was more than content to hold her in his arms and on his lap.
Finally, without looking at him, she whispered, “I’ll listen.”
Then she raised her head, and looked at him.
When he studied her expression, looking into her eyes, he saw she meant her words. He nodded. Then, gently he sat her beside him with one of her legs draped over his lap. Turning to face her, he took a deep, calming breath.
Chapter Ten
Bobby sat a moment in silence, preparing mentally for what he was about to admit.
Saying the words was hard. “My father is an alcoholic.”
Her brows dipped. “I thought he was just a beer drinker.”
The implications of her words extended beyond her meaning. But she had no idea. Jennifer had no clue that alcoholics were often what people classified as just beer drinkers.
“And an alcoholic,” he told her.
He saw understanding flow through her eyes, and watched her nod. “Go on,” she said softly.
“It got worse after my mother died. He drank more and more. That’s why I stopped taking you around to see him.”
She frowned slightly. “You said he was working double shifts.”
He could see her mind at work, remembering. “At drinking,” he said with a bitter bark of laughter. “He lost his job long before I left. Correction,” he said. “He lost several jobs back to back. That’s why I was working all those extra hours.”
Pain showed in her eyes for him. “You never told me.”
He took her hand. “I know. You have no idea how many times I’ve regretted not doing so.” He paused, battling with inner demons. “I was ashamed.”
She didn’t like that answer. “But it was me.”
His rebuttal was quick and from the heart. “The person I most wanted to impress.”
“We were beyond that.” She stared at him, a question in her eyes. She wondered if they had been as close as she had thought.
And they had been.
But what could he say? He should have told her.
She stood up and walked to the window, pushing back the curtain and staring at the sky. With her back to him, she said, “But we weren’t beyond secrets, I guess.”
Should he go to her? He wasn’t sure he should press her. He sat completely still, hoping for a sign. “It wasn’t about us,” he said, hoping she would understand. “It was about me.”
She turned around and pinned him in an angry stare. “How can you say that? We were supposed to be close.”
“We were close,” he said, desperate to make her understand. “I didn’t want you to doubt me because of what my father was becoming.”
“I would have told you if it had been my father,” she said in a shaken voice.
“And I should have told you,” he said. “Please,” he patted the couch, “you promised to listen. Sit with me, and hear me out.”
She looked at him, then at the couch, and then at him again. Her eyes were darkened with emotions, clouded with unshed tears. After what felt like a lifetime, she moved to sit down next to him.
Because he had to touch her, needed to, he reached out and laced his hand around her neck. “I never meant to exclude you. I just wanted to protect you.”
Her hand brushed his cheek, her eyes softening. “Tell me.”
Reluctantly, he released her, but his eyes stayed trained on her features. “The night before I joined the Army, you were at the library studying for a test, so I went by to check on him. He was sloppy drunk when I got there. Completely sloshed. ” He paused. “I was used to seeing him drunk, but that night he was worse than the other times. He told me he had gotten fired again.”
His expression grim, he continued. ”We fought. I told him I wanted to put him in rehab. He got aggressive, even threw a punch at me.”
Jennifer gasped and pressed her hand to her mouth. “Sorry,” she said. ”I just can’t imagine a father and son throwing punches at each other.”
“Yeah, well, it happens.”
She sat there a minute watching his expression. “Go on,” she urged softly.
“He said a lot of harsh things, told me I was no better than him. He said I would be drinking just like him some day.”
Her eyes narrowed. “You didn’t believe him, did you?”
He didn’t acknowledge nor deny her statement. “I was upset by his words. More hurt than angry. I left him there alone, screaming after me. I was supposed to meet you later that night, but—“
“You never showed up,” she said, finishing his sentence.
He saw the painful memories in her eyes. “I was on my way to your place when I got the phone call. He had wrapped his car around a telephone pole.”
“What?” she said in complete shock.
He nodded. “He was so drunk that he was hardly injured. They say that happens a lot with drinkers. They never tense up, so they don’t get the same injuries others might.” He sighed. “But I felt horrible. I had left him drunk and angry. When I went to the hospital, he refused to see me.”
Clearly she was stunned. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this.”
“I couldn’t. I began thinking he was right. Maybe I was worthless. I let him down; I’d let you down.” He took a deep breath. The memories were as clear as if it had happened yesterday. He had relived that night so many times. “I called the only person I thought might be able to help my father, an old Army buddy of his. Then, I enlisted.”
“And left me behind.”
“Because I wanted you to be happy.”
“By deserting me?”
“That’s not how I saw it then.”
“And now?”
“I spent years in crazy places, doing things you wouldn’t believe, all the while, trying to forget what I left behind. Believe me,” he said with emotion, “I know how badly I screwed up.”
“Yet you waited five years to come back.”
“It took me a good year to even think like a normal human being. Then Marcie said you were dating, and I thought you were happy. What right did I have to just show back up? By the end of year two, when you were still single, I decided to give you five years. If you weren’t happily married, raising a family, I was coming back for you.”
***
Silently, Jennifer digested the information Bobby had shared with her. It was hard to swallow the way he had shut her out of his life.
Her feelings were mixed.
Yet, knowing what happened was so much better than not knowing.
She looked up at him and saw the ache in his heart shining in his eyes. At that moment she knew; no matter what their future might or might not hold, she wanted to love him while she could.
Even if he left her again. He needed her to love him now. And she needed to love him.
Slowly, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his. He made a noise deep in his throat and pulled her into his lap as his tongue delved into her mouth. She could tas
te his desperation, the need for her forgiveness.
All she could think of was taking away his pain. She sensed how deeply it ran, how alone he felt. Her hands began to roam his body, her mouth begging him for more.
She rotated and straddled him as he moaned his approval. Suddenly, there was a frenzied passion between them, lacing their kisses, driving their touch. Her camisole was gone and she didn’t even remember how.
Breathing heavily, she reached for his pants, and ran her hand over his bulging erection. “Please tell me you have a condom.”
“I do,” he said. “Four.” He kissed her again.
“Four?”
“I planned ahead.” He nipped at her lips. “Before the party.”
That was all she had to know. She reached for the button on his pants. It was snug because of how aroused he was. Bobby helped, and she sat back on her knees and watched him unbutton the waistband.
The second he was unzipped, she moved and tugged down his pants to his knees, but not before he yanked his wallet out of his pocket.
In his impatience, Bobby dumped the contents on the couch. Cursing the need for protection, he shuffled through the mess. The three remaining condoms and several credit cards dropped to the ground.
Impatiently, Jennifer grabbed a condom and yanked open the package. In a matter of seconds, she had shoved down her silk boxers and rolled the condom into place. Eager to feel him inside her, she positioned herself above him, and with his help to balance herself, slid down his body.
“You’re very…” He moved and she couldn’t finish.
“Hard?” he asked hoarsely.
Her body felt like it was on fire with desire. “Yes,” she whispered.
“For you, sweetheart. Only for you.”
He held her hips as they moved together in an urgent pace, driving to release. They couldn’t seem to get close enough.
She wasn’t sure who came first. They both cried out, their bodies locked together as if in perfect harmony. Waves of pleasure turned her nerve endings into live wires of electric charges.
She collapsed on his shoulder as the last spasm rocked her body, his hands on her back.
Later, maybe minutes, she wasn’t sure, he whispered tender words in her ear. Then he caressed her hair, and lifted her in his arms.
She didn’t care where he was taking her.
She was with him, and that’s all that mattered.
***
Jennifer’s eyes floated slowly open. She didn’t move as her eyes took in the brightness of the sun shining through the cracks in her blinds.
Bobby held her tightly, as if he thought she might escape. Snugly pressed against his side, her head rested on his shoulder. One of her legs was entwined with his. It felt so good to be this intimate with him.
She nuzzled his chest and took in a deep breath.
She loved his heady male smell. It enveloped her senses, wrapping her in warm, wonderful feelings. She felt protected and cherished. It was an amazing combination.
She looked at him as he slept, the sexy whiskers of morning darkening his strong, square jaw. He was so completely male in ways that touched every part of the woman in her.
A desire that bordered on need rose inside her. She wanted to please him as he had her at the party. The feeling was overwhelming in its intensity.
She carefully slid between his legs, pushing the cover away from their naked bodies. She bit her lip as she stared down at his naked perfection. Every inch of the man was sexy.
Now, with sunlight streaming through the window, she glimpsed signs of the years he had spent in the Army. There were random scatterings of scars on his arms, a few on his legs, and one long, thin one on his side.
They somehow made him more, rather than less, sexier. She wondered about them, and the pain they must represent. What things must he have experienced to mark his body in such a way?
He had fought for his country, and she was proud of him. She silently vowed to kiss each and every scar.
As if he sensed her attention, his head raised and he looked at her. Understanding dawned quickly as awareness slipped into his now sharp gaze.
She could only imagine how she looked, naked between his legs. He was taking her in, heat forming in his eyes as a muscle jumped in his jaw.
Her eyes trailed downward. He was quickly becoming hard, clearly aroused by the aggressive role she intended. Knowing she turned him on always turned her on as well. She felt the tiny ache between her thighs that always came with her own arousal.
She stared at him. Looking at him alone made her wet. “You’re absolutely perfect.”
He leaned up, reaching for her, but she flattened her hand on his stomach. “No,” she said. “Please. Lay back.”
He looked like he might argue, but instead he did as she asked. She touched his growing penis first with her fingers. When he sucked in a breath, she smiled. Wanting even more of a reaction, she circled his width with her palm. He thickened in her hand.
“You like that, do you?” she taunted naughtily.
Heat flared in his eyes. “You know exactly what I like.”
“I think,” she said moving her hands up and down his now quite large length, “I’d like to test my memory. Will you tell me if I forget something?”
Not giving him time to respond, she pulled his erection upright and leaned over. She touched her tongue to the tip.
The salty wetness that pooled there in response only made her savor the opportunity to pleasure him all the more.
He was such a mix of strength and control, always had been. It was a powerful feeling to see his eyes fall shut with the pleasure she brought to him. She ran her tongue up and down his length, loving the enjoyment she saw etched in his features.
She took her time, careful not to miss any spots, enjoying the experience, not just the act.
* * *
Bobby moaned as Jennifer slowly drew him further into her mouth. He was quite possibly having the best moment of his life. Jennifer’s long blond hair was draped over his stomach, her mouth on his cock.
She took him fully into her mouth, moving up and down in slow, sensual strokes. She looked up, meeting his gaze as she sucked his dick. Watching her take him in her mouth, clearly enjoying the act, was a real turn on.
A male fantasy.
His fantasy.
She looked like a sex goddess. Hell, she felt like a sex goddess.
His body tensed as she increased the pressure, sucking harder while she still managed to run her tongue down the length of his erection. It was a talent. One he was incredibly pleased she owned.
He felt like he was about to explode, each stroke of her tongue making him hotter. If she stopped now, he might just die.
Unable to control his reactions, his body bucked, and his hand tightened on her head. She seemed to read his body like a book, increasing the speed and pressure yet again.
It pushed him over the edge, making him release suddenly. It was a surprise eruption of utter ecstasy so intense he quaked and cried out.
Still she sucked and licked, and brought him down with the sweet caresses of her tongue. And as he relaxed, her mouth still tasting him, he decide, she really was a sex goddess.
Chapter Eleven
Jennifer watched as Bobby opened the passenger door of his rented Maxima. As she started to get in the car, he wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her tight against his body.
Surprised by the sudden movement, she looked at him with a question in her eyes. His hands slid around her waist as hers settled on his chest.
He stared down at her, his emotions displayed for her viewing. She knew he regretted the past. It showed. “I’m crazy about you, Jennifer. I always have been.”
But you still left me. She couldn’t help it. It still hurt. She wasn’t sure what he wanted her to say or do. She loved him, but it was going to take some effort to get over the past.
Not finding words to express her feelings, she pressed her lips to his. His hand settle
d at the base of her spine, and his tongue slid between her teeth.
He kissed her deeply, a sensual showing of love that pulled at her heartstrings. She melted into him, loving how he felt.
How they felt together. She wanted to forget the past. If only it would get out of her head. Last night she had for a short few hours, lived in the present.
Today, in the light of day, she worried about the day his leave was over. Saying goodbye was going to hurt beyond belief.
The kiss ended in locked gazes. “I’m glad you’re going with me today.”
“Me, too,” she said, touching his cheek, trying to absorb how he felt into memory.
For the day he left her.
Once they were in the car, Jennifer asked, “So where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise,” he said as he pulled onto the road.
She stared at his profile, noting the tense line of his jaw. “A surprise, huh?”
He flicked her a quick look and a grin. “I’m going to share with you a little of what I have been doing the last five years.”
She gave him a curious look. “Huh,” she said, trying to imagine what he was up to.
They drove in silence for a few minutes before. There were so many things she wanted to ask him about the past five years. She worried about the danger he was going back to. If she couldn’t be with him, knowing he was alive and well at least gave her comfort. “Those scars. How did you get them?”
He looked at her a moment, and then back at the road. His tone was flat. “Do they bother you?”
“No,” she said sincerely. “Actually, I feel kind of guilty for saying this, because I am sure they had to have been painful…” She didn’t know if she should finish.
“But?” he asked a bit tensely.
She looked at him, quietly admitting, “I think they're sexy.”
He laughed and slanted her a glance. ”Sexy, huh?”
“Yeah,” she said with a bright white smile, happy her declaration hadn’t upset him. Still, she wanted to know about the dangers he faced. Her voice softened, and her smile faded. “So how did you get them?”